*cracks knuckles*
Ok, here we go. My autocorrect is going to hate me, and I'm going to completely wreck my phone's dictionary.
Now that we've covered La-a.
Let's start with this.
Yes, I've had a student named Seven.
Aanas and Anious. Just think of how those might be mispronounced.
Telica is pronounced Tuh-lee-see-uh. In case you were wondering.
I'm sorry I called you Jor-day-n on the first day of class, but don't get mad at me. Get mad at your mother. She's the one that spelled it Jordayn and not Jordan, like you want it pronounced.
It's Jacqueline. It's not Jack-uh-line (line!). Yes, somebody wanted their daughter to have her name pronounced Jack-uh-line.
I've had a Christ, Messiah, and God.
King and his sister Queen'ya (pronounced queen-yay).
I've had more Princes than I can count. Don't ever name your kid a title, because that's how they'll act, and they'll feel they're entitled to all the royal treatment allowed on earth.
And don't name them adjectives, either. Patience? Yeah, you're testing mine. Neveah (very common)? Yeah, this is going to be the reverse of Heaven, alright. Shewonderful? She ain't. Malus (pronounced malice) and Sassy? Actually, they were pretty good kids. I miss them.
I've had a Sir and a Syre (pronounced sire).
Aprell is not a good name for a boy. Period.
I've had a parent named Satin. Except it was spelled Satan. There was an awkward first phone call from another teacher in my school when she called asking asking to speak to Satan. No it wasn't me.
I know your name is Dexter, and your wife's name is Brittany, but that doesn't mean Dexttany is a good name. They're going to think she can't spell Destiny.
Sema'J (pronounced seh-mah-jay) is just James spelled backwards with a comma to the top (*wink wink, nudge nudge* Noctis). Just name him James.
And the one I got my first year of teaching...
Kalcjea is not how you spell Kalaysia.
And that's just what I can remember off the top of my head without doing any real thinking.