Venting.

[Master Bluespike74]

Sometimes Chicago, it is good to go on the offensive.  I document everything that is done around me so that when those kindergarten rules come down from management, I simply tell them when you fix the following problems: I hand them my list, then I'll be more than happy to help you.  It is not insubordination as some have tried to tell me.  I simply explain that I don't like working in hostile work environments and the management is usually so afraid of a law suit they'll do one of two things:  back off me or correct the bad behaviors before dealing with me again.

Give it a try.

[chicago.jedi]

Sometimes Chicago, it is good to go on the offensive.  I document everything that is done around me so that when those kindergarten rules come down from management, I simply tell them when you fix the following problems: I hand them my list, then I'll be more than happy to help you.  It is not insubordination as some have tried to tell me.  I simply explain that I don't like working in hostile work environments and the management is usually so afraid of a law suit they'll do one of two things:  back off me or correct the bad behaviors before dealing with me again.

Give it a try.

That is good advice, too. However, my company does little or nothing with information like that. I actually told my supervisor one day that he spends more time catering to cry babies than taking care of the guys who make him look good. He totally locked up and did not know what to say. He knows who the problems are and does nothing, which is kind of the norm around there.

The other problem with this tactic is the union. Now, I do not want to get into a discussion about unions and go down the road of politics. Our union, like all unions, was there to protect the interests of the workers. But this has been perverted into enabling workers to act up or slack off. If an employee talks to a supervisor, the union members gets on their case about it and treat the employee like a narc. If the union would police their own, talking to bosses would not be necessary. The code of silence has gotten out of control.

Every day, I have to think and act like a lawyer. I have to listen to everything said, store it in my mind, use it as precedence in an argument. I must always be on guard and on my toes. Oh, and I need to actually get some work done, too. Sometimes I go out in the plant, around the noisy machinery, just to get some peace on quiet.

My wife wonders why I spend so much time in the basement tinkering with stuff. It is the only way to quiet my mind and switch gears. She is a good woman and the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.

Thanks for the advice. At least I know I am not crazy for thinking like I do.

[Master Bluespike74]

Supervisors change and so do union presidents.  I have been part of both worlds and like everything, it has its place in moderation.  At this point, the best advice I could ever give is to watch out for yourself first, friends second, and everyone else be thrown into the Sarlaac's Pit.

[SOTJ]

I can't find a job. I don't need a job, but I need to keep busy and a job seems like the way to go. But obviously nobody wants a wacko with suicidal and homicidal tendencies, which sucks because at no point in my life did I decide to be mentally ill so I feel like the universe is punishing me for its own crime

I also need to figure out my will, which is extremely difficult since I can't have children and I don't particularly like any of my relatives. I guess I should decide on a charity. Focusing on death is clearly not helping my mental state, but it has to be done at some point so I isolated myself for the last... Long period of time? I'm not exactly sure how long, kind of a blur.

Additionally, a child cracked one of my windows. If you're going to be stupid enough to break someone's window, at least man up and do it all the way. They were probably trying to check if anyone still lived at my house

[chicago.jedi]

I understand your feelings about the job search. You are right, the world is not fair. I have always looked at it like this...if someone has a heart attack and lives, he or she is called a survivor. They change their diet and life style and are looked at like a hero. But someone who suffers a mental illness is never looked at like that. No matter how much therapy, how much a person changes their outlook on life, etc., there always seems to be a stigma. And you are right, it is not your fault and it is not fair.

I have been there myself, SOTJ. Not quite the same situation as yourself, but in the same ballpark. It was hard to get past it all but eventually I did. I found that moving on myself was the first step in getting others to do the same thing. My life now is 180 degrees from where it was at that time. I am in a better place. One that, at the time, I never thought possible.

Give it some time, things will get better. You are far from alone in your journey.

[Master Lucien Kane]

I can't find a job. I don't need a job, but I need to keep busy and a job seems like the way to go. But obviously nobody wants a wacko with suicidal and homicidal tendencies, which sucks because at no point in my life did I decide to be mentally ill so I feel like the universe is punishing me for its own crime

I also need to figure out my will, which is extremely difficult since I can't have children and I don't particularly like any of my relatives. I guess I should decide on a charity. Focusing on death is clearly not helping my mental state, but it has to be done at some point so I isolated myself for the last... Long period of time? I'm not exactly sure how long, kind of a blur.

Additionally, a child cracked one of my windows. If you're going to be stupid enough to break someone's window, at least man up and do it all the way. They were probably trying to check if anyone still lived at my house

I always ask people what they like doing? What is your passion? I'd say start off by doing that until you find a way to make money doing that, or you find a career that suits you. That's way easier said than done though, and after years, and years of really crappy jobs I've finally landed a career that makes me happy, actually provides for my family and is quite fulfilling. I'm living my dream... I always thought the motivational speakers were full of crap when they'd say just do what you love... and don't stop doing what you love. I thought it was total bullcrap. Yet, even while I was working terrible jobs, I kept doing what I love and now that's what I do. I HATE to spout off that feel good happy song and dance that those happy go lucky jackasses always preach... but I'll be damned if it doesn't work. Sometimes you just can't see when and where it will work. SOTJ we love you, and I hope you find something fulfilling... Even if that's beating the heck out of kids that decide to crack your window LOL

On a sadder note... my Granny passed away, we had hoped to go see her before she died, give her, and my son, one last chance to see each other. Sadly this did not pan out... All I can say is that the pain medications they give right now that are opiate based are temporary fixes at best and are killing us.

Anywho... While she lived a full life and I can say I have no regrets about our relationship or her passing for that matter... I am definitely more affected by it than I'd like to admit to myself. Anywho, that's life I suppose... Thanks to denial I'm immortal.

[chicago.jedi]

Looking back a few posts, SOTJ, I think I accidently created a weird kind of proof for you. A few days ago I was doing some venting myself. Work is work and nothing has changed...however, 10 years ago, I would never have been able to cope with this level of stress and aggrevation.

Life is what we make of it. We cannot control anyone but ourselves, but we can control ourselves, so at least we have that going for us.

Things will turn around, trust me. Better days are ahead.

[ed_ification]

I can't find a job. I don't need a job, but I need to keep busy and a job seems like the way to go. But obviously nobody wants a wacko with suicidal and homicidal tendencies, which sucks because at no point in my life did I decide to be mentally ill so I feel like the universe is punishing me for its own crime

I also need to figure out my will, which is extremely difficult since I can't have children and I don't particularly like any of my relatives. I guess I should decide on a charity. Focusing on death is clearly not helping my mental state, but it has to be done at some point so I isolated myself for the last... Long period of time? I'm not exactly sure how long, kind of a blur.

Additionally, a child cracked one of my windows. If you're going to be stupid enough to break someone's window, at least man up and do it all the way. They were probably trying to check if anyone still lived at my house

Are there mental help outreach centers in your area?  What you've gone through might help others through similar places.

[Manroon]

Ed gets a point. That's an awesome thought.

Lucien, my sympathies. I have been there, friend. It is not a particularly easy place to go. You know where to find me if I can be of any help somehow.

SOTJ....
1) You're not a wacko. I may not know enough to write your biography, but we're good enough friends I can tell you you're not a wacko and you're certainly not nuts or anything. The mind is a complex thing, and much as many of us don't like to admit it, EVERYONE has something go haywire in their brain at some point. Usually multiple points, I think. lol Lord knows my mind's gone more than a little off kilter plenty of times in the past, but as long as you don't quit on yourself... remember to stop and breathe, and account for the fact that everyone's human and imperfect, you'll get there.

2) I find death generally doesn't need much thought. You know what your beliefs about it are, so that covers the most important thing. As for what happens to all your worldly stuff when you leave this place... *shrug* charity isn't a bad idea at all.

3) Isolation.... not something I often recommend. A break, some time alone for an hour or two... yes. That's quite relaxing and refreshing. Isolation..... not so much. Being isolated almost always feels depressing to me for some reason.  *shrug*

[Darth Kitsune]

I've been trying to find somebody to purchase these two limited edition DnD dragon statues I own that are extremely collectible for about three or four months now. They've been sitting around in my house in their boxes collecting dust, and I don't have any room for them anywhere. Which is why I'm trying to sell them. But I swear I don't know anybody that'd be interested in buying either of them because of where I live and because of how expensive they are (they aren't THAT expensive but they are pretty pricey).

And my folks are pressuring me to get rid of them, so it's starting to get annoying. Every so often it's a good hour long lecture about how I should sell them and use the money for something else that I would actually use. That is something I want to do but they rant on and on about how they're taking up space and need to be "gotten rid of".

I kind of wish I had never gotten them in the first place. >.<

[Master Rel]

I could help you find a buyer...PM me.

[Darth Kitsune]

I sent you a PM because I'm curious on what you have in mind. XD

[Sin Obsidian]

I'm done. Get me out of this state, NOW!

[RogueLeader]

Why? What happened?

[Sin Obsidian]

Rather long story, and quite ridiculous since it's all happened in only about 3 weeks.

Some background; my oldest is 8 years old, and while he may not be mine biologically he is my son. He was born premature, so he has some mental and behavioral problems because of that. By this I mean that regardless of how intelligent he is, he will always have a part of his mind somewhere around the age of 5 years old.

Roughly 3 weeks ago, my oldest came home from starting school and told us that he had been sexually assaulted in the bathroom, by another student in his class. My wife and I questioned him thoroughly as he does have a tendency to make up things, however he is a terrible liar (he'll change things in the story every time he tells it, even if you have him do it back to back). His story stayed the exact same every time he told it. I went down to his school to speak with his principal about it the next day, and find out that while it was reported they weren't doing anything about it. To the degree of his teacher sending both boys to speak with her (the principal) and the office staff sending them back to class. It took me coming down and questioning their capability to look after their students for them to get the police involved. The only reason I requested them to do this is because my wife and I were wanting to make sure there was nothing happening to the other boy at home. Instead I get fed load after load after load of b.s. that my son is just making things up as usual, that my son is a nightmare, that they just don't know what to do with my son. The sheriff department informed me that nothing was going to happen to either kid until I started demanding an investigation, and again raising hell, to ensure nothing was happening to the other boy at home. They finally acquiesced to my request. (To date I have received ONE phone call from a Detective, saying he's assigned and will get around to it)

Next was our son's 3rd Grade open house. Where the principal avoided us like we were leperous, but had plenty of time to talk about the school's new iPads... His teacher did the same damn thing. And I'm talking, ACTIVELY making eye contact with us before turning around and walking to OTHER side of the room to talk to other parents. When he finally deemed us worthy of his presence he informed us that my son would be getting kicked out of school before the semester ended. Reason? He doesn't pay attention in class, but passes his tests easily. (I will get to this later).

After this my wife told by a girl that lives in our neighborhood (in the grade above my son), that the teachers are very mean to him. She informs my wife that not only has she lost friends because she was seen playing with my son, but that if a teacher sees anyone playing with him, they tell them to stay away and not play with him. However, the teachers and faculty are doing nothing to stop his fellow 3rd graders, as well as the 4th and 5th graders, from picking on him, bullying him, and spewing all kinds of homophobic slurs towards him! We sat down and asked him about school, how the other kids and teachers were, without hinting that we had an idea, and he confirmed it all (again, exactly the same every single time).

So my wife and I pulled him out. We put him into a stay at home charter school / homeschooling program. He loves it! His first assignment was a timed 2 hour assessment test. He finished it in 30 minutes. His math scores put him well into 5th almost into 6th grade. His English scores put him well into 4th almost into 5th grade. He completes nearly a month worth of school work in a weeks time now that he is able to test out of almost everything, work at his own pace and he's no longer bored.

Last Thursday I got a call from my wife. She needed me to meet her at the Urgent Care. Reason? The ONE kid at the apartments that my son isn't allowed to play with, decided it would be funny to TIE HIM UP TO A JUNGLE GYM WITH A TENNIS NET TETHER!!! While he was HALFWAY UP!!! When he finally untied my son, he just let go of the tether and it retracted gashing my son in the forehead. My son came rushing in obviously distraught and covered in blood. --Now, the reason my son is not allowed to be anywhere near this other kid, H., is because H. has done everything from curse my wife out (calling her a piece of **** white ***** that should mind her own business), to threaten my son (telling him he is going to choke him out), to actually sending him home with bruises. I have spoken to his mother before about his behavior, and requested that H. stay away from my son and my son stays away from him.-- So after getting my son stitched up, I went walking towards H.'s apartment. I saw one of the security guys on the way and informed him of the situation, asking him if he had seen H. around, when I hear a quick scurrying behind me. Turn around and it's him, trying to run off without being noticed. I flag him, catching him in the act, and follow him home.

When we get there, we are not met by his mother but by his older brother, who tells me that "he can speak for them". I explain the situation as it has been told to me, H. tied my son up, as a result my son now has stitches. I was willing to put away blame for the injury due to the cut sounding accidental. Instead I get in response that H. has been inside sick all day (if that's true, why was he outside running around looking very healthy at 6pm?), that my son comes over to their apartment all the time pounding on the door and calling all of them a "particular racial slur that defines ignorant people", and then in the ultimate act of disrespect informs me "you are dismissed!". --I'm ex military.... Beyond that, I'm medically retired ex military. I didn't receive my injuries in Iraq or Afghanistan. I got them from carrying, laying to rest, and paying respect to the dead for 3 years straight. Though sickness, health, sleepless nights and months without any down time... From PA, to WV, to VA, to MD.-- I admit it... When he said that, due to my background I lost my cool and I raised my voice. He slammed his door closed, and I went home and called the cops to file a complaint.

Deputy came out and spoke to me, spoke to my son. I showed him to their apartment, and returned to mine. Right after I get back, so does the Deputy. No one was home... Well apparently someone was, since the next day while I was at work, my wife received some "visitors". H's mom, and 6 other people came to my doorstep for the sole purpose of calling my wife a lying b****. For half an hour. Call the cops again, and find out that not only do they have NO file of the complaint I made the previous night, they refuse to do anything else unless some one gets hurt again. Which shouldn't take to long since yesterday my son was inundated with threats from the other kids, including the infamous bit of social horse crap "snitches get stitches"...

So why am I done? Let's see, my son was run out of his school. I now cannot let him go outside, and my wife (who by the way is from NC, and is the only white girl allowed to safely walk through some of the worst ghetto areasin the Charlotte area), if pissed off, tired, and actually afraid to be at home. And I am not allowed to do anything about it! I'm done! I'm out!