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Author Topic: Only Light Can Cast Shadow (A KotOR AU FanFiction) (Part I)  (Read 40243 times)
Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #30 on: October 01, 2018, 10:57:40 PM »

I've heard the same comment before about the pacing of the Dejarik chapter, and do agree. I'm hoping to be able to balance it better in my eventual re-write.

Yeah its an ambitious thing to try and do, I wouldn't have tried something like that so definitely points for the attempt!  The closest I've come is a Chapter 9 in What You Leave behind when i did a Sabacc game - but obviously that is much simpler to do - the main thing i learned from that was balancing two games - the sabacc and then a verbal game much like in James Bond movies from which I took some inspiration - that way you get the scene but also avoid losing the characters to the details of the game - not sure i succeeded...A similar thing could be done with the Dejarik and an emotional game more strongly contrasting the different players approaches with equal time spent on each 'game'.  

Anyway always keep trying new ways to get your story across!
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #31 on: October 02, 2018, 07:07:06 AM »

OK chapter 12 now they are right into it!! As suspected their enthusiasm has just crashed them into the Mando's unprepared...good integration of the old KOTOR comics too and an important one, i have no doubt this will dramatically effect Revan and how she goes about organizing and directing her forces from here - I look forward to seeing how you deal with the fall out of this and especially how Talon fits into it...I suspect the Mando's have just awoken something they'll wish they hadn't....

I also wonder what else Revan found on Dxun...there feels like there is more to it...
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lady Revan
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Force Alignment: -1055
Posts: 2349


I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #32 on: October 03, 2018, 02:06:26 AM »

OK chapter 12 now they are right into it!! As suspected their enthusiasm has just crashed them into the Mando's unprepared...good integration of the old KOTOR comics too and an important one, i have no doubt this will dramatically effect Revan and how she goes about organizing and directing her forces from here - I look forward to seeing how you deal with the fall out of this and especially how Talon fits into it...I suspect the Mando's have just awoken something they'll wish they hadn't....

I also wonder what else Revan found on Dxun...there feels like there is more to it...

I felt it's important to cover some aspects of the comics, since otherwise the events of the war itself are pretty vague in canon (I also appreciate that comics stick to the spirit of the original game and are very careful to keep a gender neutral Revan in the few appearances (s)he makes).

FUN FACT: Talon was created on accident. I already had the name "Halin Chan" picked from a previous playthrough of the game, but when I was trying to generate a name for Malak, the first option that came up was "Talon Chan" which made me think "What if Halin had a brother" and got my mind turning out all sorts of additional ideas I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

As for Dxun, I'm still trying to decide how to approach the rest of what was found. I'd like to also be able to tie it in somehow to the Exile's portion of the story (in the distant future... that part is still a LONG way off...), but I'm still trying to work out details.

Personally, I'm really looking forward to handling Revan's fall (and Malak's!). Not certain it will be complete before the end of part 1 (because big plans for part 2), but it's going to be fun to write... (I have the first 5 parts, approximately 86 chapters total plus prologues, generally planned out)

Chapter 13 is significantly shorter (according to my original road map) than 12, so hopefully I can get it up within the week.
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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Lord_S_Gray
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #33 on: October 03, 2018, 06:58:10 AM »

As for Dxun, I'm still trying to decide how to approach the rest of what was found. I'd like to also be able to tie it in somehow to the Exile's portion of the story (in the distant future... that part is still a LONG way off...), but I'm still trying to work out details.

Personally, I'm really looking forward to handling Revan's fall (and Malak's!). Not certain it will be complete before the end of part 1 (because big plans for part 2), but it's going to be fun to write... (I have the first 5 parts, approximately 86 chapters total plus prologues, generally planned out)

Great to have an outline, and yeah its great when you can thread things together like events on Dxun chaining across time and the story, there's a lot you can do, often I find writing future parts now then working backwards can help draw out those connections - and with 86 chapters...whoa that is ambitious, but yeah love the passion you've got for this story and telling it on your own terms. 
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #34 on: October 03, 2018, 01:05:02 PM »

I felt it's important to cover some aspects of the comics, since otherwise the events of the war itself are pretty vague in canon (I also appreciate that comics stick to the spirit of the original game and are very careful to keep a gender neutral Revan in the few appearances (s)he makes).

FUN FACT: Talon was created on accident. I already had the name "Halin Chan" picked from a previous playthrough of the game, but when I was trying to generate a name for Malak, the first option that came up was "Talon Chan" which made me think "What if Halin had a brother" and got my mind turning out all sorts of additional ideas I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

As for Dxun, I'm still trying to decide how to approach the rest of what was found. I'd like to also be able to tie it in somehow to the Exile's portion of the story (in the distant future... that part is still a LONG way off...), but I'm still trying to work out details.

Personally, I'm really looking forward to handling Revan's fall (and Malak's!). Not certain it will be complete before the end of part 1 (because big plans for part 2), but it's going to be fun to write... (I have the first 5 parts, approximately 86 chapters total plus prologues, generally planned out)

Chapter 13 is significantly shorter (according to my original road map) than 12, so hopefully I can get it up within the week.

Outlines are your friend!   ;-)

Yeah, that's a lot of ground to cover.  And assuming the reader knows about it is a great way to lose them.  A lot of folks don't know much beyond the movie "canon" - what appears on screen, and nothing else.  Sources like KotOR can be very obscure.  So I for one am glad you've chosen to bite off a bit more of the material and include it in your story!

Just be careful to pace yourself.  After a while its easy to get burned out. 
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #35 on: October 03, 2018, 03:52:11 PM »

Outlines are your friend!   ;-)

Yeah, that's a lot of ground to cover.  And assuming the reader knows about it is a great way to lose them.  A lot of folks don't know much beyond the movie "canon" - what appears on screen, and nothing else.  Sources like KotOR can be very obscure.  So I for one am glad you've chosen to bite off a bit more of the material and include it in your story!

Just be careful to pace yourself.  After a while its easy to get burned out
Yes, I completely agree with Karm.  Not that I see you doing that, Lady Revan  Smiley   Just wise words to live by!

And I'll post another response as soon as I am done with your super-sized Chapter 12 (and I mean that as a compliment)!  Smiley
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Lady Revan
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Force Alignment: -1055
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I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2018, 01:42:00 AM »

...So I lied. Next chapter is going to be a bit. I keep realizing stuff that needs to be put in that I was originally only going to reference (particularly Serrocco). I may end up posting the chapter in pieces, since I'm going to have to end up doing so anyway because of the character limit for posts...
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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Karmack
Forumverse Loremaster
Master of Ceremonies
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 1152
Posts: 5602


Light side points please.


« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2018, 01:16:25 PM »

...So I lied. Next chapter is going to be a bit. I keep realizing stuff that needs to be put in that I was originally only going to reference (particularly Serrocco). I may end up posting the chapter in pieces, since I'm going to have to end up doing so anyway because of the character limit for posts...

LOL   If you read many stories on here you'll find a LOT of "part 1", "part 2" type chapters.   There is also a word-count limit on posts that is pretty draconian (2000, IIRC) so if your chapter gets long you'll have to chop it up anyway.

So don't be afraid of doing pieces!  :-)
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Lady Revan
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Force Alignment: -1055
Posts: 2349


I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #38 on: October 10, 2018, 02:17:21 PM »

LOL   If you read many stories on here you'll find a LOT of "part 1", "part 2" type chapters.   There is also a word-count limit on posts that is pretty draconian (2000, IIRC) so if your chapter gets long you'll have to chop it up anyway.

So don't be afraid of doing pieces!  :-)
Chapter is already over 5,000 words, so I’ll post a couple of sections now. This chapter comes with some pretty heavy warning tags though...


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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Lady Revan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: -1055
Posts: 2349


I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2018, 02:38:48 PM »

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter contains multiple depictions of mass genocide, weapons of mass destruction, graphic violence and mutilation, and psychological torture. Reader discretion is advised.



CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SERROCCO & THE CATHAR MASSACRE (Part 1 of a lot)
   
The Miraluka planet of Katarr was brimming and alive with the Force. It was the reason why the Revanchist had suggested that they rendezvous here before taking the prisoner to Coruscant to go on trial. It would be far easier for the Revanchists to recover from their recent nightmare on Flashpoint in a place that was so full with energy from the Force.

Many were deep in meditation as the ships—the Stalwart Nightingale and the Williwaw—sat landed on the planet’s surface. Away from the others so as not to disturb them, the Revanchist sat in the med bay of the Nightingale with her apprentice, tending to his head wounds. Across the entirety of his skull were a network of crude stitches which seemed to be holding him together. It appeared as though Demagol had performed a vivisection on the man’s head in an attempt to observe the brain. There were soft spots also along many of the stitched points. The Revanchist could only assume that the doctor had drilled through the bone in these places.

In all, Malak was lucky just to be alive. The guilt of this thought ate away at the woman’s soul. Had it not been for the stroke of luck with that Padawan from Taris, it was almost certain he would have been dead before she could reach Flashpoint.

The man grimaced, letting out a groan as his Master applied a Fresh kolto patch to his head. The Revanchist winced at the sound.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m trying to be as gentle as I can…. I… I’m sorry….”

“Why do you keep apologizing? You’re not the one who carved my head open.”

“I may as well have been…”

“Halin…”

“Please don’t call me that.”

Malak let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t like the Revanchist.”

The woman froze, her hands trembling. She swallowed, so as to contain her emotions from escaping. The words cut through her like a knife.

“The Revanchist,” he continued, “is so caught up in chasing phantom visions that she forgets the real war is happening right in front of her. Halin, on the other hand… Halin would have sensed the distress of a friend much sooner…

I’d rather follow Halin into battle than the Revanchist….”

He waited for a reply from her, but the woman remained silent, her eyes downcast, lost in thought. Malak sighed again.

“I’m not sure why I bother…” he said plainly.

The Revanchist choked on the well of emotions caught there in her throat. She made a move as if to leave, but her apprentice caught her wrist before she could do so.

“Please… Please just speak to me,” he said to her. “I’m trying to understand… To understand what’s happening to you. You’ve not been yourself since we met in the grove on Dantooine. I don’t understand why you’re suddenly so cold lately…”

There was another moment of silence between them. He waited, and waited… and finally, she answered:

“The Council was right…”

The man looked at the woman in disbelief, wondering if he had heard her correctly. Even as Halin, the woman before him had always had her fair share of disagreements with the Jedi Council. These disagreements were what drove her to enter the war—what drove her to become the Revanchist in the first place… and now, she was saying that they were right?

“…I had sensed your distress some time ago… Not long after having arrived on Deralia…”

“Then why did you ignore it if you knew something was wrong?”

“Because you are Malak.”

The man looked at her, puzzled at the answer. He’d assumed that the name she’d given to him was a passing whim, meant to separate their current actions from their time in the Order as Halin and Alex…

“I don’t like Malak either…” he replied bitterly.

“Don’t say that…”

“And why shouldn’t I?”

“Please….”

“Please what? Please just accept that my closest friend left me and all of the rest of those who followed her to be tortured to death by the Mandalorians? Well you know what, Revanchist? I can’t do that! You don’t care what happens to any of us! Look at me! Look at what they’ve done to me! Do you think that this,” he said, pointing to his scalp with his free hand, “hurts? Well what hurts even more is you! I….”

He caught himself before he could say it. ‘I love you’ were the words that wanted desperately to escape his lips, but he could not bring himself to say it out loud. Not now… He looked at her face. Her eyes were wide with obvious remorse as she stared at him. This situation must have caused her just as much pain as it had him. He sighed, letting go of her wrist.

“I miss Halin…” he said gently.

“I’m sorry…” she said in a voice no louder than a whisper. “I truly am…”

“Sorry doesn’t alter the past….”

“I know that… but it can alter the future… I’ve decided to disband the Revanchists once we return to Coruscant….”

“What!? You can’t be serious…”

“One of them is already dead because of my foolishness, and I almost you as well. The Council was right. It was stupid of me to involve anyone else in this. I shouldn’t have let you follow me. I shouldn’t have let any of you follow me!”

“We followed you because we thought that you were right—because we believed in what the Revanchist stood for… We believed in ‘justice for the innocent.’ We believed in you…”

She simply shook her head. “You’re all better off without me. I… I can’t ask you to risk your lives in vain….”

“If we stop now, then everything will have been in vain.”

“But…”

“But what?”

The young woman froze. She’d heard the voice again—and this time, it hadn’t been a vision. There on Dxun…. There was more there than just Mandalorian outposts, or even Sith tombs… There were even greater forces at work. She debated for a moment whether she could tell him. Perhaps… perhaps little at a time… Until she was sure that he was ready to understand….

“I’m a danger to all of you… it’s these visions… I’m no seer, but they’re so… so vivid… I don’t know how to control them… and all I see… all I see is darkness… so much darkness….”

Her words concerned Malak. Just what kind of darkness was she talking about here? “Can you be any more specific? Onderon, for example… what did you see exactly?”

“I saw the planet and its moon… at first, everything was peaceful… but then a sort of shadow started stretching from the moon, like an eclipse that engulfed the entire planet… and then… and then there was a voice…”

“A voice? What sort of a voice?”

“It was difficult to distinguish at first… and yet it seemed as though it were always there… and it wasn’t the first time that I heard it either… The same voice was in my previous vision…”
Malak was a bit confused by this. She had told him previously of her first vision, but had never mentioned any sort of a voice… “But what did the voice say to you?”

It was here that the woman froze in hesitation. “I… I can’t say it… I dare not repeat it…”

“You need help. Maybe back on Coruscant there is a seer among the order who can help you interpret their meanings… Who can help you learn to control when the visions come…”

“And then what? I can’t stay there… Someone needs to help the Republic with their war, Malak. And while I don’t want to risk you or the others, it doesn’t mean that I plan on stopping myself.”

Malak just shook his head. “I swear you’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met… Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me. You can’t do this alone… Discuss it with the others if you will, but I think that they’ll agree with me.”

“I put all of you in danger. I knew that something had gone wrong, I sensed your distress, but I did not act. I foolishly continued on my own, thinking that you would be able to handle the situation just fine without me…”

“Well then, change the future,” he said. “Don’t go running off on your own any more. Let us help you… Promise me that much. If there is something that you need to investigate… another one of these visions, you’ll take me with you. And if you sense that something is even the slightest bit wrong, you’ll attempt to check in with someone from that company… We all knew that this would be dangerous, Halin. We knew it when we first decided to join you…”

“Please don’t call me Halin….”

“I’m sorry… I can’t help it. You’re not the Revanchist—not to me, at least. It’s too impersonal. Will it really kill you to let me call you by your name? At least in private?”

She bit her lip. “I suppose if the others aren’t around…”

“It’s settled then. At least until you manage something that’s less of a mouthful, for me, you’re Halin.” He smiled at her, as if attempting to lighten the mood.

Halin returned the smile. “And I promise to check in more often instead of rushing off on my own… Even if you are Malak.”

“There you go again… I still don’t understand why you call me that. I still prefer Alex. I get it that you want to disconnect from your life as Halin… but is it really necessary for me too?”

“Surely it isn’t so bad…”

“But is it necessary? Malak… what does that even mean?”

The woman smiled again and took up a fresh kolto patch to change the one she had previously placed on his head. “You know, I call you ‘Malak’ as a compliment…. It was clear after you refused to leave me in the grove…. Malak is the Angel.”

The man would have raised an eyebrow at this, but extraneous facial movements pulled on where the stitches were, and so they were best avoided. The Revanchist removed the old patch and applied the new.

“You are Malak because you protect,” she continued to explain. “Because you watch over… It is for this reason that I left you in charge on Suurja…” It was at this point that her expression became somber again. “Why I had assumed that all would be okay….”

Again, silence fell upon the two. This time, it was Malak to break it. “I’m sorry I let you down…”

Halin sighed. “You never let me down…. I suppose I just assumed too much. I was naïve…. I realized that this was a war, but somehow I thought just scouting would be less dangerous… The fighting was over. There was no reason for there to have been an ambush on Suurja… They shouldn’t have known we were there…. I’m so sorry… You did everything that you could, Malak.  Hazar should have been my responsibility, not yours… He was too young. I never should have let him near the front with your company… I should have been there to stop it…”

“Halin, if you had been there, they would have captured you too. They would have tortured you too. And Opela, and Fiolli… We should just be grateful those of us who made it through did… How does it look up there?”

“Pretty bad,” the woman admitted, examining his injuries. “I’m doing what I can, but you’re going to have some nasty scars…”

“Maybe I’ll just have to start going around with a hood all of the time like you do,” he said half-jokingly. “Or I could always get a tattoo or something to cover them. I’ve always wanted an excuse to get one…”

“Now that I’d like to see,” Halin laughed. “All right, nerf herder, I should go check up on the others…”

“Nerf herder? I thought I had been upgraded an ‘angel’ now.”

“Watch it, Malak—even angels can still be nerf-herders. Now get some rest. We’ll be leaving soon.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, watching as the Revanchist left the med bay. They would need to get the prisoner to Coruscant as quickly as possible. Malak didn’t like the idea of keeping him around, yet Halin had insisted that the best option would be to have the Republic hold him on trial. He supposed that might have been the most ‘Jedi’ approach to the situation… but a part of him craved to see the demented Doctor suffer in exactly the way he had made the Jedi suffer. A trial would be justice, but a greater satisfaction would have come with revenge.
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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Lady Revan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: -1055
Posts: 2349


I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #40 on: October 10, 2018, 02:55:36 PM »

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter contains multiple depictions of mass genocide, weapons of mass destruction, graphic violence and mutilation, and psychological torture. Reader discretion is advised.



CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SERROCCO & THE CATHAR MASSACRE (Part 2 of a lot)

><><><><><

   The Revanchists were returning to Coruscant with prisoner in tow. They were all understandably shaken after the events on Flashpoint. The situation had been like a cold splash of reality to the overenthusiastic advances the group had made. Suurja was a lesson to be remembered.

   In light of her companions’ obvious uneasiness at the prospect, the Revanchist herself had agreed to be the one to watch over the prisoner they carried. He was quite different in appearance than the Mandalorians she had witnessed on Dxun during her investigations. His armor was generally more lithe and slender, and seemed to be outfitted with some additional equipment for medical or scientific purposes.

   He had been knocked out by a rogue Mandalorian who had been helping the Taris Padawan at Flashpoint station, but it was unknown whether the unconscious state of the prisoner would continue until they reached Coruscant. After all, the Core Worlds were a long way from the Outer Rim… The Revanchist hated being stuck on guard duty, but she supposed that it was only fair given the way things had turned out up until this point.

   She had been there for a few hours already when the prisoner began to stir. She moved a hand to her lightsaber to be ready in case of any dangerous situation which might arise. The prisoner was bound, but, given his history, she did not wish to take any chances…

   “Don’t move,” she warned him. “They’ve told me all about you, Demagol the Flesh Carver.”

   A low chuckle erupted from the suit of Mandalorian armor. “Did they now? I suppose I should be flattered that you’ve heard of me, Jedi… You weren’t among my patients though… I would have remembered a pretty face…”

   “You would have remembered the name of the Revanchist, Demagol! I was not there when my company was ambushed on Suurja and brought to your laboratory on Flashpoint. I was not there when you killed a Padawan among them in cold blood, or when you nearly tortured my apprentice to death. But I am here now and I will see to it personally that you pay for your crimes.”

   “The Revanchist? Is that so… Somehow I always thought you would be a man… and taller.”

   “Don’t try my patience. Many would not be so kind as to take you to Coruscant for trial. It’s a bit ironic, really… that after your heinous experiments on Jedi, your life should only be spared now because of the mercy of the Jedi….”

   “Don’t lecture me about your mercy missions, Revanchist. We both know very well that there’s no place for such foolishness in times of war. You and I are not so very different, you know? We each support the war effort in our own unique ways, unorthodox they may be….”

   The woman clenched her teeth. “I’m nothing like you, Demagol!”

   “Ah, you see, but that is where you are wrong….” The low laughter began again. The Revanchist could feel it echoing over and over, pounding inside of her skull. She clenched her hands over her ears, trying to muffle the sound, but it just kept pounding and pounding, as if it were not coming from the outside at all. And then… and then the voice came, slipping through the noise like oil over a smooth hard surface…

   ‘You are no hero… you are no savior… like the Flesh Carver, you will be… the Butcher!

   “Shut up!” she screamed “Get out of my head!”

   Without warning, without thinking, she grabbed her lightsaber hilt in one hand and reached out, her fingers stretched out as if to lock him into a choke and, while she never physically made contact with him, the Mandalorian rose from the ground, clutching at his throat…. But the laughter did not stop. The laughter continued pounding and pounding and pounding until…

   “Halin? Halin!”

   It was Malak’s voice. Suddenly, she realized what she was doing and let go of the prisoner, deactivating her lightsaber and returning the hilt to her belt. She clutched her hand which hand locked the prisoner into a choke and massaged it gently through her glove. The sound of the voice and of the laughter had suddenly stopped, but her temples were still throbbing, her ears still ringing.

   “What were you thinking!?” her apprentice exclaimed. “I was watching the security cameras and suddenly heard you scream and saw your lightsaber… What was going on!?”

   “The voice! The voice was there… He was laughing and then came and it… it…”

   “Laughing? Halin, what are you talking about? Demagol has been unconscious the whole time. Whatever that Mandalorian did to him back on Flashpoint knocked him out good…”

   “The whole time…” Halin murmured in repetition.

   “I don’t like this. You’re mixing the visions with reality. It’s like you don’t know what’s what any more…. You need help.”

   “No! No… No, I’ll be fine… I need to meditate, that’s all. My mind is restless….”

   “It seems a little more than restless… You almost killed him, Halin.”

   “I know that! I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” She massaged her hand again, as if to check if it were really her own. What she had felt in that moment… What she had felt was hate, desperation, unrestrained raw emotions… and what had alarmed her the most about it was how natural it had felt. “Please,” she continued, more softly this time, “I need to meditate… Did anyone else see the security footage during that time?”

   Malak shook his head, “Not that I am aware of.”

   “Good,” she said, giving a single nod. “See to it that it stays that way…. Lock the prisoner away and ensure there is nothing nearby that could be used for escape. I will be meditating in the Starboard dormitories should you need me.”

   With this, she swiftly left, still rubbing her hand the whole time. Malak was concerned. He knew very well what he had seen. It was a common Sith technique used to cause asphyxiation, crushing the windpipe of one’s opponent. While he’d heard of it before, he’d never actually seen the technique in person. After all, the Sith had hidden their presence since the time of the Great Sith War. But this wasn’t some Sith who had suddenly come out of hiding… This was his friend. This was his Halin….

   Once he had finished securing the prisoner, he left to go find her. Something was very much not right. It was only getting progressively worse, and if they didn’t figure out something soon, then surely her mind would be lost… He knew very well that she was against seeking the aid of the Order on Coruscant, but it may very well have been her only chance for stopping the progression.

   He found her in the starboard dormitory, just as she had said. However, upon entering, he felt that there was a second presence in the room. A strange, dark presence. Something else was here. Something seemed to be following Halin. It was then that he heard it…

   “Tse satsetop sirbmu ni…

   Malak looked about frantically. Was this the voice that Halin had been talking about?...

   “Tse satsetop sirbmu ni!

   He looked to where it seemed to be coming from. There was a footlocker with a faint red glow between the cracks of the opening—a glow that seemed to be coming from inside. He approached the footlocker when he heard:

   “Don’t touch it!”

   It was Halin. She’d broken her meditation and had rushed to him, catching his arm. He turned to look at her.

   “It’s trying to trick you into letting it out,” she continued.

   “But what is it?” Malak asked.

   The Revanchist swallowed. She hesitated, glancing around the room to ensure that no one else was there before replying to him. “It’s a Sith Holocron.”

   “Here!? But what is it doing on board?”

   “It’s something I picked up while on Dxun… While I was investigating the moon and the Mandalorian base there, I found it…”

   “Don’t tell me you opened it!?” Malak exclaimed, ripping his arm from her grasp

   “Of course not! I’m not stupid! But I couldn’t just leave it there either…. What if it were somehow responsible for corrupting the Mandalorians? Or even worse—what if they discovered how to access its knowledge of the Dark Side? It was too dangerous to be left there…”

   “I wouldn’t say that here, on a ship full of Jedi, is any less dangerous…”

   “Well, as you recall, it was not my original intention to be among everyone again so soon… I was hoping to be able to locate a safe place where it could be left or destroyed before the Council sent me to retrieve you from Flashpoint…”

   “Why didn’t you leave it with the Council while you were there?”

   “The thought had crossed my mind… but how do you think they would react if I brought them such a thing? Many of them had already condemned me for starting the Revanchist movement in the first place, and the situation with Hazar and Flashpoint station only served to worsen my relationship with the Council. You should have seen Master Zez-Kai Ell when I appeared before them… Imagine what they might think if I brought them a real Sith holocron! They would probably assume I was some sort of Sith Lord come to uproot their entire ancient tradition.”

   Halin tried to force laughter at her own remark, but it only faded breathlessly into a terrified expression on her face as she again clutched at her own hand.

   “Malak?” she continued, “Do you think me a bad person?”

   “Of course not,” he said. “I wouldn’t have followed you if I did…. But I do think that you need help. You can’t take on the burden of everything by yourself. You need to leave the holocron with the Council.”

   “I’ve already told you why I can’t do that… Besides, who is to say it wouldn’t corrupt them as well?”

   “While you may not agree with all of their choices, and neither do I… the Masters are far more experienced in dealing with such things… I have an idea. You said that Opela and Fiolli were also meeting back with us on Coruscant?”

   “Yes…”

   “Then have Opela bring it to them.”

   The Revanchist considered the thought. Opela had a good standing relationship with many of the high Council members…. At least, before she had joined the war effort. There was no doubt that it would be easier for Opela to bring such a thing before the Council than it would be for her to do such a thing herself. Yes… Yes, perhaps such a thing would work after all…

   “Tse satsetop sirbmu ni!

   “Hush, you!,” Halin said, turning sharply to the footlocker where the holocron was stashed. “I’ll not have you causing any more problems on board.” She turned back to Malak. “We contact Opela immediately and explain to her the situation. In the meantime, the starboard dormitory is to be closed to everyone. No one may enter until we’re docked and the holocron is being removed—this including ourselves… On that note, I would rather not stay here. It’s becoming restless with so many Jedi around and I don’t know how much longer I can resist its temptation in such close proximity….”

   Malak nodded. It was agreed. They would leave the holocron for the Council to dispose of. Malak was a bit relieved by this. After all, perhaps it would allow for his friend to get some much needed rest. He had never seen her in such a state as she had been locked in the room with Demagol… But at the same time, her visions had started before Dxun. No… no, surely there was much more to it than this. She knew something that she still wasn’t telling him. There were greater powers at work here. Something was watching them. Somewhere, an invisible puppet master was pulling all of the strings attached to this war. Only time would tell whether they were all a part of the puppet show as well.
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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Lady Revan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: -1055
Posts: 2349


I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #41 on: October 10, 2018, 03:09:27 PM »

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter contains multiple depictions of mass genocide, weapons of mass destruction, graphic violence and mutilation, and psychological torture. Reader discretion is advised.



CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SERROCCO & THE CATHAR MASSACRE (Part 3 of a lot)

><><><><><

Opela followed in close step with Master Atris as the Council Member carefully transported the holocron through a series of passages leading to a vault underneath the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. The thing seemed to be screaming all of the while, as if it knew and understood their intentions to dispose of it. The whole task made Opela rather nervous. She could feel the dark side energy which radiated from the holocron. She regarded Master Atris with a concerned expression, but the Master remained focused with her gaze forward.

“What language is it speaking?” Opela asked. “I’ve never heard anything like it before….”

“It is of the ancient Sith tongue,” the Master replied. “Pray you never have to hear it again…”

“What is it saying?

“Things that I dare not repeat… Explain to me where you found this again?”

Opela shook her head. “I didn’t find it. Halin did when she was on Dxun she said…”

“Ah yes, the self-proclaimed ‘Revanchist’… She should have told us of this rather than about the Mandalorian base when she appeared before the Council… No doubt she was debating using its knowledge for herself. It wouldn’t be the first time she attempted to access knowledge that was forbidden…”

Opela was confused by the way of which Master Atris spoke of Halin. It seemed that her distaste for the woman was rooted in occurrences from even before the emergence of the Revanchist. “Master Atris, why do you despise her so?”

“I feel no such thing,” the Master replied. “Hatred is the path to the Dark Side… I merely believe that she should show more respect for the Council’s decisions and try to see their wisdom behind them rather than reacting so violently in opposition. Her actions were irresponsible and cost one young Padawan his life. I’m only glad now that you and the rest have returned so that her poor influence can harm you no longer.”

“She meant no harm in her actions. She had thought all of us to be safe. It was why she had chosen to place everyone where she did, based on their strengths… Though I’m sure she will consider placements differently in future scouting…”

Master Atris stopped, causing Opela to stop alongside her. “Future scouting? Don’t tell me that you intend to follow her back into this war…”

“I made her a promise, Master Atris, and I intend to keep it.”

Master Atris continued walking, quickening her pace this time so that Opela practically had to jog to keep up with her.

“No! She will lead all of you astray! It is foolishness! This holocron only further proves such. Mark my words, Opela Moraf—the horrors that you will find in war are ones that no one can fully cope with—Jedi or not—without grave consequences. Continuing to follow down this path will lead you to violence, hatred, destruction, and ultimately the Dark Side. You will not return as yourself—if you return at all!”

It was at this point that the two made it to the doors of a large vault beneath the temple.

“You are not permitted beyond this point. There are many relics of the Dark Side here that could easily corrupt a mind unprepared. That is, if you’ve not begun to be corrupted already. Reflect upon my words, Opela Moraf. For if you leave this temple and join with the Revanchist again on this crusade, you will not remain a Jedi.”

><><><><><

“Why did you come with them here?” The Revanchist asked, the irritation evident in her voice. Her arms were folded as she stood face-to-face with Talon Chan on the Deralian deep-space shuttle that Opela and Fiolli had returned upon. “Deralia needs you in case of another attack. If the Mandalorians return, it will be in much greater numbers than before.”

“Halin, they need you just as much as they need me,” Talon protested.

“I told you, I’m not Halin anymore!”

“Revanchist or not, you’re still Halin Chan. You’re still my little sister.”

“And you’re still not listening to me. You shouldn’t be here!”

“Why are you like this? It seems like you’re avoiding me….”

“Well, if it seems like I’m avoiding you, then perhaps that’s because I am. I’ve already lost someone under my command and I don’t need you foolishly following me around and getting yourself killed while trying to deal in Jedi business.”

Talon shook his head. “You just don’t get it, do you? I’m trying to help you, Halin…”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Why do you hate me? What did I do deserve this from you?”

“I don’t hate you, I—” She stopped herself mid-sentence, swallowing hard. She understood well why the Order discouraged contact with family members. It was a strange set of emotions that surrounded Talon’s presence, and she didn’t understand them. It made her feel uncomfortable. It made it difficult to focus. The woman let out a sigh. “I don’t hate you….” She repeated, more gently this time.

Talon was no less confused about his sister’s treatment of him. He wasn’t certain whether she was trying to protect him or trying to forget him. The man sighed and reached out, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’m just worried about your safety… Being a Jedi was never a ‘safe’ thing to begin with, but war… war is something completely different…. People aren’t willing to negotiate. Lives are lost every day. Likes are taken every day….”

He broke off and turned from her, going to a locker there on the ship. “I wanted to bring this for you,” he said, opening the locker and pulling out something gleaming in bronze. “You’re going to need it if you end up on the front lines…”

The Revanchist looked at the thing which Talon Chan held before her. It was a suit of armor in the style of the Deralian Royal Military Guard.

“I’m not wearing that,” she said simply.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Jedi robes don’t offer the greatest protection against blaster fire…”

“That’s what a lightsaber is for. Besides, how is one supposed to move in that stuff?”

“Halin, please take it.”

“Fine. But I’m not wearing it.”

Talon rolled his eyes. “You always were stubborn, even as a kid. Just… promise me you’ll be careful out there…”

“Only if you promise to go back to Deralia.”

“I promise.”

“Then I swear to you that I will be careful not to get hit be any stray blaster fire.”

Talon chuckled. “That’s close enough I suppose… Well then, if I’m going to be getting back, I’ll need you to get off of my ship. Otherwise you’re coming back with me.”

The young woman smiled. “Goodbye, Talon. I’m sorry our meetings are so brief…”

“I’m just happy they exist at all. Given our track record before, I would say it’s quite the improvement.”

“I’ll show myself out them. Have a safe flight. May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you.”

><><><><><

“She didn’t seem happy,” Opela told the other Revanchists of her encounter with Master Atris upon bringing the Sith Holocron to the Jedi Temple. “She said that if we continued, we wouldn’t be Jedi any longer…”

The group was gathered about the Stalwart Nightingale attempting to decide their next course of action. The Council had anticipated that the group would stop once they returned to Coruscant, but the Revanchists had other plans. They had a cause, and Flashpoint had only served to strengthen their resolve. There were undeniable atrocities being committed in this war, and it was up to them to put an end to them.

There were murmurs among the group at Opela’s words, but the Revanchist seemed more certain than before. Her blue grey eyes burned with a defiant determination. It had become more than just a war to help the Republic defeat the Mandalorians. It had become a war to win over the Jedi Council—to re-define what it meant to be Jedi.

“If we stop now,” the Revanchist began, “then everything we have strived for until this point will be lost. Deaths will have been in vain. Sacrifices will have been for naught. We cannot allow their fear to control our actions. You saw the way that they reacted upon our return. You heard all that they had assumed. Are we to allow their ignorance to determine who we are and what we stand for?”

“I agree with the Revanchist,” Malak said. “I say we press onward.”

“Any opposed?” the Revanchist asked. She looked around the others. There was concern clearly in many of their eyes… but no one dared to speak up. Whether it was because they agreed or because they were afraid to be thought of traitors to the cause was unknown. After all, the last mission they had gone on had been quite gruesome. It was only likely to go downhill from there.

“It is settled then. We continue as planned. Ferroh? You had mentioned you had lost contact with your people on your home planet? That Cathar was one of the first planets attacked at the beginning of the Mandalorian crusades?”

The Cathar hesitated. “Yes… The Mandalorians had never forgiven my people for defeating them in the Great Sith War… After all, the Cathar are a proud warrior race, but our planet is not within the Republic… I’m afraid that no one knows for certain what happened on-planet though. The only ones left of my people that I’ve been able to make contact with are all refugees, scattered on different worlds…”

“I see… Malak, what is the latest update on the Mandalorian front?”

“The Republic is still trying to hold the defense between The front and Taris… It looks as if Admiral Karath is planning to mount a defense at the planet Serrocco to buffer against the Mandalorian advancement.”

“Then we divide our forces,” the Revanchist said. One group will head to Serrocco to make contact with and aid the Republic military there. We will not wait for the battle to clear and risk another ambush unprepared from leftover soldiers… The other group will follow me to Cathar to investigate what remains. If Cathar was the start of this war, perhaps we can find some clue there as to the Mandalorians’ goal and how to stop them.”

“I would like to volunteer to lead the group to Serrocco,” Opela stated. The Revanchist regarded her with confusion. Only weeks before, when they had been headed to Deralia, she had been hesitant to accept any positions of leadership… and yet now she had volunteered on her own accord?

“Why the sudden change in heart?” the Revanchist asked her.

“If we’re meeting the Republic military leaders, then you’ll need someone who can deal with the diplomatic aspects of the situation. Negotiation is a strong point of mine. If we’re acting against the Council’s orders, then it will take negotiation to convince the Republic to accept our aid.”

A small smile crept to the Revanchist’s lips. It was good to see Opela finally taking some initiative. “Very well then, Lieutennant Moraf. I leave the Serrocco company in your care. Fiolli, Nisotsa, Tavlon and Xaset—you will join her. The rest of you are with me. Serrocco Company will take the Williwaw and Cathar the Nightingale. If there are any complications, you report back immediately to your commanding officer. Do I make myself clear?”

There was a bought of ‘ayes’ from the group. Things were taking shape again. Things would be better off this time around. She could sense that much. Perhaps this would finally be the turning point for the Revanchists.
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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Lady Revan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: -1055
Posts: 2349


I leave my alignment to Fate-whether Light or Dark


« Reply #42 on: October 10, 2018, 03:26:29 PM »

Chapter isn't finished yet, but this is the start (first five sections, currently in 3 parts). There are 8 more sections to this chapter, but hopefully they won't be so long as the first and second. I wanted to give some more focus to developing the relationship between Revan and Malak (part 1 is what prompted my "times you felt bad for characters" thread XD). Exile gets some in this chapter too, but most of it comes in the part I'm still working on. Currently she is the least fleshed-out and most difficult to write for...
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Author of: Only Light Can Cast Shadow A pre-KotOR Fem!Revan Fic

Twisted Morality (Part III of "Only Light Can Cast Shadow")

I leave my alignment to fate--Light or Dark

Lord_S_Gray
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #43 on: October 11, 2018, 11:24:40 PM »

I loved the opening section with Malak and Halin/Revan that was very poignant – the regret of it saying how he misses Halin….the loss of naivety….Atris was also well done the seeds of what we know from KOTOR 2 planted in multiple ways with the holocron…
Anyway this…
“Sorry doesn’t alter the past….”
“I know that… but it can alter the future…

Was just a BRILLIANT line, simple but rich with meaning.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

TheDutchman
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Force Alignment: 1106
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Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2018, 11:58:30 PM »

Well Chapter 12 was one incredible installment: one remarkable scene after another!

LR, I like what you've done with Revan and Malak, incorporating canon while making the narrative all your own.  To wit: seeing the adversity that both of them are going through and how they deal with it, nothing seems like a foregone conclusion.  These scenes elicit some strong feelings as well: the disgust at the Jedi Council for their apathy and hypocrisy to the grim events of Demagol's "experiments."  And all the time, we know that the Mandalorian Wars are ravaging the galaxy.

No wonder the Revanchist become so fiercely loyal to Revan, body and soul.  She's the only Jedi who's assertiveness isn't blunted by self-deluded blind fools.

On to Chapter 13!
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