FOUND THE PROBLEM!! I tried uninstalling and reinstalling the launcher for a 3rd time, MAKING SURE to do it in administrator mode. This time it works, and I have no problem connecting to the launcher!
But I still have a problem...
I can't save/test blade colours without something glitching out. Either it'll tell me to reconnect, or it'll only turn my blade pure red when testing colours. Both with pulse test and with flash on clash test. Anytime I try to test a mix of Red and Blue, without even putting any green or anything into the mix, it'll just turn my blade into a red hue. Even at 1% redness. Messing with the options doesn't change anything once I unplug my saber as well. It just goes back to the way it was (is) once I exit the launcher. Basically, in summery, I have a Red+Blue driver and anytime I put even 1% of red into anything it turns the entire blade red when I test it. And unplugging it just makes it go back to normal.
I'm really tired, and there's no point to making another thread for it, so does anyone know why this is? How I can finally get off and out of the forums and try out the shimmering pulsing red blade, with the purpley flash on clash, I have pictured in my head? It'd be nice to wake up to a "yeah you're just stupid, make sure you blahblahblah"
I know very well what you wrote, but you never said that you re-installed the DRIVER, you just said you re-installed the LAUNCHER. They're two different things, and if the re-installation of the launcher didn't solve the problem, then you should try to re-install the driver. The launcher is definitely not a problem or incompatible to any of the boards (except the old Obsidian v2 boards), so it must be a hardware (either of the saber or the PC equipment) or an OS problem (in most cases a driver issue).
And since we don't know what you already tried except for re-installing the launcher, I pointed out what reasons a connection issue can have. And how to bypass them. It's almost never solely a software problem but mostly a compatibility problem between the OS, the saber hardware, the PC hardware and the software. Since you didn't mention that you encountered an error message with the launcher like "App Crash", "xxx doesn't work anymore" or similar I assume the launcher is working properly. So the problem must be anywhere in the OS-to-saber (= Obsidian sound board) communication, which leads to my aspect mentioned above - try to re-install the driver by uninstalling the device and by following the connection prodecure once more. If you already tried other cables, ports and USB hubs, this is the only thing that can help you. If that doesn't work either...well, you may have to contact US or the developer of the board and software directly and see if they can provide more solutions or workarounds.
PS: With Emerald boards the launcher works fine even on Win 8(.1) and Win 10. This provides evidence that it can't be a launcher problem. Otherwise the Emerald board would be behaving the same, but it doesn't.
I'm really glad I found out the solution before I read this because honestly it confused the living frell out of me.