Glad you got it sorted Landen . . . I was about to reply to try exactly that, because that has happened to me before . . .
If it happened to you too, then I'm in good company.
Thanks, everyone. Like I said, the batteries were not old. Keep in mind I spent roughly 1.5 hours troubleshooting this thing, and most of that was with the saber on, so I would've understood if it happened and the entire saber was dead, but I was getting continuous sound from the obsidian board, which makes me think the batteries in and out is to the emerald board what turning on/off is to a phone or computer.
Then again, I just spent a long time troubleshooting a new battery issue, so what do I know?
Next time, I'll start there.