Venting.

[Master Lucien Kane]

I know you guys are probably right. I also know that I shouldn't be letting this get to me, much less ranting about it. But I've noticed how easily he's had people gravitate towards him and how things just kinda fall into place when he clicks his fingers. I've never felt that I had that. Who knows, I'm probably jealous of HIM.

Yeah but that's the way it works. He probably has similar thoughts towards you. Maybe he's jealous of how you accept your love of lightsabers so quickly. Maybe he's jealous that you aren't afraid to live your life the way you do. Maybe he's jealous that you swing your saber better than he does lol!

Whatever it is, you can't expect him to ever tell you these things, and being jealous of him doesn't help you at all. We all go through stages in life, for some things come easily, for others things come harder. For most it comes in seasons. Some seasons will be rough, some seasons will be easy.

The only thing you can do is just be yourself. Don't let someone else discourage you from what you love.

[Darth_Arkanus]

Yeah but that's the way it works. He probably has similar thoughts towards you. Maybe he's jealous of how you accept your love of lightsabers so quickly. Maybe he's jealous that you aren't afraid to live your life the way you do. Maybe he's jealous that you swing your saber better than he does lol!

Whatever it is, you can't expect him to ever tell you these things, and being jealous of him doesn't help you at all. We all go through stages in life, for some things come easily, for others things come harder. For most it comes in seasons. Some seasons will be rough, some seasons will be easy.

The only thing you can do is just be yourself. Don't let someone else discourage you from what you love.

Yeah, that really is very true. Thank you for pointing that out to me, where I seem to have forgotten.

[JEStucker]

Still unemployed... fighting like the devil to find a job, but now my former employer is fighting my unemployment claim.  Trying to say I was fired for misconduct by being absent 3 days in a row without notification (Thurs, Fri, Sat.) but I did give notification, I called and left voicemails on Thursday (twice) and once on Friday, explaining what was going on.  I don't even work Saturdays, so I'm not sure how I was absent a day I don't even work.  When I showed up for work Monday (8-5-13) no one had ever gotten my voicemails, which is odd, because any other time they always get them.  I showed them the call log from my phone, with the 3 5-7 minute conversations I had with the voicemail system, but they refused to believe I called at all.  You know what, that damn phone works two ways.  If you have an employee that's worked for you for 13 of the last 20 years, and he gets released from the doctor back to work, and you "don't hear from him" wouldn't you think to maybe call him?  They've never had any problem calling me in when I've been home sick or on my days off before.

I'm sure they got my voicemails and were just looking for a reason to let me go, I've had two pretty lengthy work comp claims due to injuries recently and I'm sure I because a liability as far as their insurance rates were concerned.  Now I'm having to appeal my unemployment claim so there's some sort of income coming in while I'm trying to find work, and they're denying a lousy pittance  of $230 a week... not even $500 every two weeks and they're fighting me for it.

*Sorry for the rant, but that is what the venting section is for...

[Darth Abaddon]

I hate cysts. I had to deal with this one for almost a week. For like the last four years I've gotten one once or twice a year. Anyone who's never had one count your lucky stars. They are disgusting and extremely painful. Well I was sitting here and I felt something wet on my neck... Sure enough, it was ready. Keep in mind I have no qualms about performing minor scalpel work on myself. I have plenty of experience in doing it and I know to make sure to get the root. Well I got it. The minor discomfort of making the small slice or lance depending on it is well worth the instant relief you get. Last time I went to the doc for it, about two days before hand I got fed up and made a small incision and took care of it. Doc was impressed that I even knew to get the root out and such. I guess this is kinda a brag too that I manage to treat myself as well as a vent of how much pain they cause. Anyone who's ever had one knows what I'm whining about.

That's all. Carry on forumites.

[Prowl 1701]

I hate cysts. I had to deal with this one for almost a week. For like the last four years I've gotten one once or twice a year. Anyone who's never had one count your lucky stars. They are disgusting and extremely painful. Well I was sitting here and I felt something wet on my neck... Sure enough, it was ready. Keep in mind I have no qualms about performing minor scalpel work on myself. I have plenty of experience in doing it and I know to make sure to get the root. Well I got it. The minor discomfort of making the small slice or lance depending on it is well worth the instant relief you get. Last time I went to the doc for it, about two days before hand I got fed up and made a small incision and took care of it. Doc was impressed that I even knew to get the root out and such. I guess this is kinda a brag too that I manage to treat myself as well as a vent of how much pain they cause. Anyone who's ever had one knows what I'm whining about.

That's all. Carry on forumites.

I had one of those early this year, it was the first one since I was little. I went to the doctor myself though, my bad eye-hand coordination and a scalpel would not go well together.  I can easily say that it was a very painful experience and having to keep dressing the thing for like a week or so for it to drain was bothersome. I still have a small scar on my leg from it too. 

[TheHobbitofDune]

I just suffered the most horrific ordeal of my life.

And it involved a giant spider.

It took me about two hours to kill it... I spent all of my time either being paralyzed with fear or running away whimpering.

...I'm never going to be able to live on my own, and that thought depresses me really badly.

Is it even possible to get rid of a phobia that is this bad? Because I seriously feel like my future has been completely shattered by this one trivial thing. I almost didn't even kill the spider myself. I was scared to death, and it took everything in me to not wake my dad up.

Ugh, this is pathetic. I'm going to try and get some sleep and pray that that was the only spider in my room.

[B1ondeange1]

I just suffered the most horrific ordeal of my life.

And it involved a giant spider.

It took me about two hours to kill it... I spent all of my time either being paralyzed with fear or running away whimpering.

...I'm never going to be able to live on my own, and that thought depresses me really badly.

Is it even possible to get rid of a phobia that is this bad? Because I seriously feel like my future has been completely shattered by this one trivial thing. I almost didn't even kill the spider myself. I was scared to death, and it took everything in me to not wake my dad up.

Ugh, this is pathetic. I'm going to try and get some sleep and pray that that was the only spider in my room.

it is possible. My partner is afraid of spiders and he manages to overcome it. And a friend of ours who was like deathly afraid of rats faced that and gave one of our pet rats a pat. You managed to face your fear somewhat- you did manage to kill it yourself. Focus on that positive, it'll give you courage to face your fears next time

[Master Rel]

I just suffered the most horrific ordeal of my life.

And it involved a giant spider.

It took me about two hours to kill it... I spent all of my time either being paralyzed with fear or running away whimpering.

...I'm never going to be able to live on my own, and that thought depresses me really badly.

Is it even possible to get rid of a phobia that is this bad? Because I seriously feel like my future has been completely shattered by this one trivial thing. I almost didn't even kill the spider myself. I was scared to death, and it took everything in me to not wake my dad up.

Ugh, this is pathetic. I'm going to try and get some sleep and pray that that was the only spider in my room.

Sometimes there is no getting over a critical phobia.  It is basically the opposite of an addiction but shares the same aspect of overriding the various systems of the body...some in small and some in a seemingly complete way.

Just like addiction recovery, the way to defeat a phobia is to take small steps.  The old school consideration of facing your fear with one major event is one of those urban myths, because we want to believe that it can happen.

For an addict and for the phobic the first and primary step is wanting it to end.

You can not make an addict stop, they must desperately want to stop...and then begin.

A crushing phobia is most often one that others have a hard time understanding to the measure that it affects the phobic, so difficult to appreciate.

In your case, with spiders.  I would say just what the therapist would say...small productive steps.

That you want this thing to go away is the first thing that must happen.

You have a staircase in sight, now take a step.

I would think to look at the aspect that is most accessible, internet.

Google the science part.  Wiki the spider, it will have a pic or two but mostly words.  Research the spider in general.  Know your enemy sort of thing.  When the spider is not the alien thing, you research the local spiders.  Realizing that just about all spiders are productive citizens and could not hurt you if they wanted to, this will arm your brain with strength.

Then look into the webs.  The engineering aspect is amazing.  The make up of the webs can be four or five different silks from the same spider.  Webs tend to freak people out because it touches you and is odd.  Understand the thing, know a thing, and gain respect.

Once you reach respect you fear will fade.  When you reach this point and see a spider your brain will tell you...this is a wolf spider (blaa blaa) and reminds you that they are amazing jumpers, so you give it a little room and just watch it.  You gain strength to make choices.  When the enemy becomes familiar then it loses all power of your fight and flight gut check.

It will either work or it will not.

I suspect that it will.

Spiders can be intriguing and beautiful, they can be horrific and terrifying, all in measure.

But this is one of those things you can do on your own...small steps...build up a resistance to the fear by arming yourself with knowledge...your brain is powerful and can do this.

Best of luck and success with your effort!

 

[Darth Abaddon]

Sometimes there is no getting over a critical phobia.  It is basically the opposite of an addiction but shares the same aspect of overriding the various systems of the body...some in small and some in a seemingly complete way.

Just like addiction recovery, the way to defeat a phobia is to take small steps.  The old school consideration of facing your fear with one major event is one of those urban myths, because we want to believe that it can happen.

For an addict and for the phobic the first and primary step is wanting it to end.

You can not make an addict stop, they must desperately want to stop...and then begin.

A crushing phobia is most often one that others have a hard time understanding to the measure that it affects the phobic, so difficult to appreciate.

In your case, with spiders.  I would say just what the therapist would say...small productive steps.

That you want this thing to go away is the first thing that must happen.

You have a staircase in sight, now take a step.

I would think to look at the aspect that is most accessible, internet.

Google the science part.  Wiki the spider, it will have a pic or two but mostly words.  Research the spider in general.  Know your enemy sort of thing.  When the spider is not the alien thing, you research the local spiders.  Realizing that just about all spiders are productive citizens and could not hurt you if they wanted to, this will arm your brain with strength.

Then look into the webs.  The engineering aspect is amazing.  The make up of the webs can be four or five different silks from the same spider.  Webs tend to freak people out because it touches you and is odd.  Understand the thing, know a thing, and gain respect.

Once you reach respect you fear will fade.  When you reach this point and see a spider your brain will tell you...this is a wolf spider (blaa blaa) and reminds you that they are amazing jumpers, so you give it a little room and just watch it.  You gain strength to make choices.  When the enemy becomes familiar then it loses all power of your fight and flight gut check.

It will either work or it will not.

I suspect that it will.

Spiders can be intriguing and beautiful, they can be horrific and terrifying, all in measure.

But this is one of those things you can do on your own...small steps...build up a resistance to the fear by arming yourself with knowledge...your brain is powerful and can do this.

Best of luck and success with your effort!

 

Rel is right, and keep something in mind here.

Spiders do not see you as a target. Hell, unless you get up close and personal with one, they aren't even aware you exist. Spiders just do their own thing. They eat bugs (great thing) and spin their webs (amazing thing) and that's about it. The amazing thing about spiders is that biting a person is a last resort thing for them. They don't want to bite you. What's the point in biting something you can't eat right? They bite when they feel there's no other way out. One small step you could take is next time you see a spider in the room, just stay on the other side of it. Stay near the door in case it gets to be too much, but just watch. With all those eyes it surely sees you but it won't make any move to threaten you. Simple fact is they don't care about you whatsoever. They just want to live and do their thing. This is coming from someone who has been bitten, multiple times. Every time it has been my fault one way or another. Either being stupid as a kid and messing with it, or accidentally confining it where it feels threatened.

And keep in mind that no spider is considered deadly. Dangerous sure, but not deadly. Even the Black Widows and Brown Recluses aren't classified as deadly. Most people that die of spider bites are small children, the elderly or the already weak and sick. Your immune system can fight almost all the different toxins that different spiders have. The above groups typically succumb to the bites because medical treatment isn't administered.

Most people go through their lives never even being bitten. I won't lie, it's painful if and when it does happen, but don't worry too much about it.

One more thing to keep in mind. Now this isn't to freak you out, but to understand how timid and shy spiders actually are. The "behemoth" of a spider you met the other night spent its entire life in your house. Think about that, spiders live on average of two to three years. The spider was a good size so let's assume it's been around for a year. Think about that, an entire year. 365 days it's lived in the house and was never seen. Again, I can't stress this enough, they want absolutely, positively NOTHING to do with you. Believe me dude, the feeling you have for them is mutual on their part. How would you feel if something at least 30 times your size came barreling towards you? I'd be crapping my spider pants, just saying. It'll take time to get over your fear of spiders, but you can do it.

Man up dude. That's not to make me sound insensitive to your situation, but just man up. I have gone from being afraid of heights down to respecting the hell out of heights. I manned up, you can too. There comes a time in every man's life where he needs to man up. Now's your time my friend. You sound like you're ready to be through with this phobia. Rel's right, again, it takes time. It may take you years to fully get over it. Hell, I'll never truly be able to look down from atop a ladder and not feel my heart sink. But know what? I still shoot right up and down a ladder or walk across the beams on my gram's farm. A few years ago? Forget it. I'd be frozen at ten feet off the ground. You'll always have it in the back of your mind, but it's what you do with that fear that will decide if you're gonna let it run your life. So man up bro. It's time to earn that spider stamp on your man card.

I'm good with spiders. I personally find them amazing. Any time you want to know about one, just message me and I'll get the old brain a churnin'. 

[Darth_Arkanus]

Darth Abaddon, i can see you're trying to help but telling someone to "man up" isn't very helpful and is rather insulting. Fear of anything can be powerful and it generates powerful emotions AND makes it a lot easier to take well-meaning comments rather personally.

[Master Rel]

Manning up could work for some if their level of issue is low and he meant it as in "it worked for me".  Everyone is different and have many considerations to take into account.

Fear of heights is not the same as fear of spiders which is not the same as fear of groups of people.

Support is what it is, for spiders I would consider my thoughts before, manning up does not support the baseline issue...just the strength of resolve which is important.

[TheHobbitofDune]

Wow... thanks everyone. All of your responses blew my mind In a good way of course. I feel better now. I shall go on Google... after lunch. Also, Abaddon, when the spider was crawling on my wall, I tried to make it stop by slamming this old lightsaber blade of mine against the wall (it wasn't an Ultrasaber). The spider curled up... and I actually felt bad, which I think was the most surprising thing of all. I was pretty confused after that.

Darth Abaddon, i can see you're trying to help but telling someone to "man up" isn't very helpful and is rather insulting. Fear of anything can be powerful and it generates powerful emotions AND makes it a lot easier to take well-meaning comments rather personally.

Thanks for your support, but it's fine Abaddon and I are good friends.

Points to everyone.

[Darth Abaddon]

Wow... thanks everyone. All of your responses blew my mind In a good way of course. I feel better now. I shall go on Google... after lunch. Also, Abaddon, when the spider was crawling on my wall, I tried to make it stop by slamming this old lightsaber blade of mine against the wall (it wasn't an Ultrasaber). The spider curled up... and I actually felt bad, which I think was the most surprising thing of all. I was pretty confused after that.

Thanks for your support, but it's fine Abaddon and I are good friends.

Points to everyone.

...and the most ironic thing of all is that I'm a huge Spider-Man fan.

Yeah that'll happen. It's basically a first line of defense. As I said before, they don't WANT to bite you. Most would rather curl up like they're dead to make potential predators (You in this case) think they are already dead and move on. I don't remember if I said it specifically or if I hinted at it but spiders in general are not aggressive to living things outside its food chain.

[TheHobbitofDune]

Yeah that'll happen. It's basically a first line of defense. As I said before, they don't WANT to bite you. Most would rather curl up like they're dead to make potential predators (You in this case) think they are already dead and move on. I don't remember if I said it specifically or if I hinted at it but spiders in general are not aggressive to living things outside its food chain.

Alright. You know, one thing I never took into account was whether or not the spider could actually jump, and with that said, I don't even know what kind of spider it was. I'll have to look into it.

[Sin Obsidian]

This actually helped me overcome my issues with spiders. Now instead of the hair on the back of my neck going up, and getting cold sweats, I just chuckle, and take care of it by squishing if necessary, or taking it out side if possible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVwN8iZqKxo