Venting.

[Manroon]

1) My sincerest sympathies and hopes that you can get yourself and your family into an area you feel safe, comfortable, and at home in, and where this current run of crap seems entirely disconnected from your life.
2) Thank goodness at least things are looking up on your son's education front! (anything positive is good)
3) Somewhat odd to say, and I hope you don't think me rude, but thank you for sharing all that. I came in here ready to vent myself, but reading your post and some of the others (IE the resteraunt thread) has left me 'reset' as it were. My own problems seem a lot smaller, and I'm not thinking about them so much now when I realize there are much better uses for my time (focusing on doing some good, instead of on what bad has gone down in the past). Definitely be praying for you, Sin! Feel free to PM me if you ever need an ear to listen. I'll be happy to offer whatever support I can. Hang in there, even rounds of Grade A Crap-o-la have expiration dates on them. It'll get better soon!

[Darth Kitsune]

Dude that is the most awful thing I've read here in a while. If it were me, I'd move or I'd be taking every single one of those ***wads to court. I'm so sorry that you're going through that, but as a grown man, I suggest that you do not allow it to go any further and draw fine lines. Protect yourself, your dignity, and your family.

It's this kind of shell that reminds me of why I hate people so much. You and your family deserve so much better.

[ThreadJack]

That's it, I'm done with this flipping piece of trash state. It's apparent that Pennsylvania employers believe that paying a living wage is below them! I'll go to a state that actually has some decent flipping jobs in it!

[Prowl 1701]

That's it, I'm done with this flipping piece of trash state. It's apparent that Pennsylvania employers believe that paying a living wage is below them! I'll go to a state that actually has some decent flipping jobs in it!

I live in Mississippi, which Forbes ranked 49th in states that one should live in.  I just checked, Pennsylvania was 19th.  Trust me, I need way more K Y Jelly to ease the pain than you do.

http://www.money-rates.com/research-center/best-states-to-make-a-living/2013-complete-list.htm

[ThreadJack]

I live in Mississippi, which Forbes ranked 49th in states that one should live in.  I just checked, Pennsylvania was 19th.  Trust me, I need way more K Y Jelly to ease the pain than you do.

http://www.money-rates.com/research-center/best-states-to-make-a-living/2013-complete-list.htm

I shouldn't condemn the ENTIRE state, you're right. To be honest, it's most likely just this specific area of the state.... It's a bit depressing over here, jobs wise.

[Master Rel]

Rather long story, and quite ridiculous since it's all happened in only about 3 weeks.

(clipped)

So why am I done? Let's see, my son was run out of his school. I now cannot let him go outside, and my wife (who by the way is from NC, and is the only white girl allowed to safely walk through some of the worst ghetto areasin the Charlotte area), if pissed off, tired, and actually afraid to be at home. And I am not allowed to do anything about it! I'm done! I'm out!

So...where are you off to, or is this actual venting?

I have been to many cities and towns around the country...perhaps could help in some way with advice and searches?

Are there work issues, as far as needing to be around a certain career field?

PS
I just did some quick research...I would get as far from the city as possible...the counties just to the North East of the one you are in are blue rather than red or orange regarding population and the potential for inexpensive property, rentals, etc. becomes quite viable.

GTFiretruckOut of there.

Of course the chance for problems exist where ever people are...but limit the welfare magnet cities and cut your chances by great measure.

Best of luck.

Truthfully if you have relatives you could send the wife and kids to until you can arrange the move I would do so.

Wishing you and yours the best...I have been there...when in New Orleans...I sent my family home and then dealt with the local problem a month later.

[JEStucker]

I shouldn't condemn the ENTIRE state, you're right. To be honest, it's most likely just this specific area of the state.... It's a bit depressing over here, jobs wise.

Believe me TJ, you aren't the only one feeling it.  Lost my job the first week in August, still haven't found a new one, and it ain't for lack of trying.  With the economy all over the country in the toilet and so many people unemployed, employers get to be extra picky about who they interview or hire.  I could also point out other reasons a lot of companies are in a hiring freeze, but it would border on the political and is not for these boards.

All I can say is hang in there, hope and pray it gets better.

[Sin Obsidian]

Thank you all for the kind words.

To answer your questions Rel, this was partially venting, and partly me kicking my own ass into gear. I'm trying to relocate either out to Colorado (had one job fall through last year), or get back out to the East Coast. My career field is found pretty much everywhere, so it's just finding a place that is willing to pay at least close to what I'm worth.

I was originally living out in Inland Empire when I first got back out to CA. And while it was much more affordable and there were less people, I was pulling over 18 hours with the commute. Unfortunately working in L.A. really limits my location choices for housing (with the population what it is, any distance is equivalent to rouoghly twice the time it should take, if not more).

And yes, I'm already talking to my folks to see if they can head back out to NC and stay there for a while.

[Master Rel]

Best of luck and success with your efforts.

 

[Manroon]

LA. Ouch. That makes some sense then. (I'm out in Mouse-a-heim myself, so I'm minorly familiar with LA)

[ThreadJack]

Believe me TJ, you aren't the only one feeling it.  Lost my job the first week in August, still haven't found a new one, and it ain't for lack of trying.  With the economy all over the country in the toilet and so many people unemployed, employers get to be extra picky about who they interview or hire.  I could also point out other reasons a lot of companies are in a hiring freeze, but it would border on the political and is not for these boards.

All I can say is hang in there, hope and pray it gets better.

It's not the amount of jobs, it's the quality of jobs. I can find plenty of work, however I already have a sucky low paying job, I don't need another.

Hopefully we'll both be able to find suitable jobs soon.

[Waxman]

Ugh.
I just woke up this morning maybe 1 hour ago to a call from my mother informing me that my grandpa, a World War 2 veteran and father of 8 died this morning about at 7:00 am.  He was 95.

I don't usually like to post anything on the venting page or whatever as I don't believe anyone on this forum has any business knowing of personal matters, but particularly in that I don't think it's right for me to express anything in general.
Regardless, for this one time I will however express that I'm a bit confused because I expected that I would be sadder, but especially considering that he was the only grandfather I ever knew, the other one on my dad's side died when my father was around 14 or 16.

I mean, not to add humor or anything, but maybe I need to rehydrate myself with my usual 2 cups of water to shed some tears?  I don't know.  It's the same with my Grandmother on my dad's side from Summer 2012.  I wasn't really sad.  In fact, I was glad because during the final 3-4 years of her life she was incredibly suffering.

My grandfather had a weak heart and was suffering for the last 3-4 years as well.  Maybe I'm not sad either because it hasn't completely affected me yet or that I'm just glad that he's not suffering anymore?  I don't know.  I feel like a bad family member because I'm not crying.  I have no aversion to crying.  Heck, I almost teared up a little bit watching a Star Trek TNG episode last night. 

...

Alright, now I have something to truly vent about.
About 2 minutes ago [8:20] my sister posted pictures of our grandfather present at her wedding in 2006.  Really nice professional photos.  Not too bad and I get the message in commemorating him.
But then she messages me saying she wants me to comment and like, which I find ridiculous that she's thinking about that stuff at a time like this.  She says it in a way like: "Comment and like please."  So I guess I over-react and post with messages like "lol rofl lmao, what a great time lol!!!!!111shift+eleven!!11" or "lol cool shots!!!!sistertoldmetocommentandlike!!!!lol"
But she get's mad at that and tells me that I'm being disrespectful in which I reply that she's being disrespectful about monopolizing on his death by posting photos of him at her wedding in which she is generally the center of attention which she ultimately admits and apologizes for. 

So I don't know.  This is exactly the confusion I have when it comes to funerals.  I feel like I should be sadder and more emotional and more irrational but I'm not.  But I get in trouble with other people from my family for NOT being as sad as them. 
It's really kind of annoying.

[B1ondeange1]

sorry to hear about your grandfather Waxman. but don't beat yourself up about it, people mourn differently. and I understand where you are coming from- my uncle died last year after a long battle with cancer. he was mentally retarded (and I'm not being rude, I mean he actually was) which meant he was very hard to communicate with or reason with, he didn't have a firm grasp on reality or understand all that much, he'd lived with my nanna and granddad until they died, then got moved into his own small place, where he had to have carers come out regularly. my mum also spent a lot of time looking after him, and It wasn't like he lived just around the corner, he was a few towns away- so not to upset him they let him stay in the same town so he could still do the things he liked doing, in particular he loved to go fishing. at the time it was even harder for my mum and family, coz my family were poor, they had a crumy second hand car, my sister was constantly sick and my dad needed some care as well- and the following year I left home to go to uni. years ago he got cancer, and that was even more running around for my family, looking after him during that, helping with medical stuff etc. eventually it got too much and he had to be moved into a care home, which at least was a little easier for mum because it was the next town where she worked. when he died we were all very sad and there were a lot of tears, he was a brother/ uncle/ great uncle so of course it was upsetting. but there was also a sense of relief, because he no longer suffered from something he didn't understand, or even realise he had most the time. it was also a huge stress that was no longer there for his family, for all of us. it might sound horrible, but there was a sense of relief that there wasn't all that running around and stress for us anymore, it was hard for all of us watching him suffer like that and no longer doing the things he wanted to do.

we don't like seeing the ones we love suffer, so its not unnatural for us to feel some relief when that suffering is gone. sometimes you feel like you have to be the solid one for your family, so without realising it you harden yourself and don't feel the emotion the same- I was like that when grandad died. later down the track, you might find it suddenly hits you. your family has to try and understand that your mourn differently, just because you aren't crying doesn't mean you don't care- but you've also got to remember that they are in mourning too, in their own way. snide comments aren't going to help when you all probably aren't thinking clearly, silly tiny little things can get out of control. i know its the age old suggestion, but perhaps try talking to them.

[Waxman]

sorry to hear about your grandfather Waxman. but don't beat yourself up about it, people mourn differently. and I understand where you are coming from- my uncle died last year after a long battle with cancer. he was mentally retarded (and I'm not being rude, I mean he actually was) which meant he was very hard to communicate with or reason with, he didn't have a firm grasp on reality or understand all that much, he'd lived with my nanna and granddad until they died, then got moved into his own small place, where he had to have carers come out regularly. my mum also spent a lot of time looking after him, and It wasn't like he lived just around the corner, he was a few towns away- so not to upset him they let him stay in the same town so he could still do the things he liked doing, in particular he loved to go fishing. at the time it was even harder for my mum and family, coz my family were poor, they had a crumy second hand car, my sister was constantly sick and my dad needed some care as well- and the following year I left home to go to uni. years ago he got cancer, and that was even more running around for my family, looking after him during that, helping with medical stuff etc. eventually it got too much and he had to be moved into a care home, which at least was a little easier for mum because it was the next town where she worked. when he died we were all very sad and there were a lot of tears, he was a brother/ uncle/ great uncle so of course it was upsetting. but there was also a sense of relief, because he no longer suffered from something he didn't understand, or even realise he had most the time. it was also a huge stress that was no longer there for his family, for all of us. it might sound horrible, but there was a sense of relief that there wasn't all that running around and stress for us anymore, it was hard for all of us watching him suffer like that and no longer doing the things he wanted to do.

we don't like seeing the ones we love suffer, so its not unnatural for us to feel some relief when that suffering is gone. sometimes you feel like you have to be the solid one for your family, so without realising it you harden yourself and don't feel the emotion the same- I was like that when grandad died. later down the track, you might find it suddenly hits you. your family has to try and understand that your mourn differently, just because you aren't crying doesn't mean you don't care- but you've also got to remember that they are in mourning too, in their own way. snide comments aren't going to help when you all probably aren't thinking clearly, silly tiny little things can get out of control. i know its the age old suggestion, but perhaps try talking to them.

I think I see where you're coming from.
And I am sorry for your loss as well.  It's true, I don't like to see suffering so then perhaps it is okay for us to feel good in some way that the person in pain isn't suffering anymore.  I have taken what you said about mourning differently to heart and I actually feel better seeing myself as more of the "solid" one in that I'm more grounded and not reacting as irrationally as others are; but of course, there's nothing wrong with them acting that way either.

The whole facebook thing was so stupid.  I promptly removed those comments no more than 2 minutes after posting them.  But I do feel like there is still some sort of disconnect in this day and age in regards to technology when big things happen like this.
Regardless, I'll try talking with them.
Thanks B1ondeange1.

[Jev Moldara]

That's it, I'm done with this flipping piece of trash state. It's apparent that Pennsylvania employers believe that paying a living wage is below them! I'll go to a state that actually has some decent flipping jobs in it!

Texas leads the nation in job growth and has the best economy of all the states... just saying.