Saber Forum

Hmmmm, hard to talk about, this is. I'm just wondering if our force alignment in something fantasy like Star Wars is a reflection of our bigger outlook on life. Essentially, those aligned to the Light are generally calmer, happier, more bubbly and positive people, while those aligned to the Dark Side have a darker, angrier, more sorrowful view; and in some cases, suffer with depression.

I know this may be utter poodoo, and may only apply to me personally; but yeah, the Dark Side I just described pretty much sums me up, and right now, I'm in the grip of a very, very bad depression. I'm also feeling physically quite unwell. :(

Anyway, over to you.

Awww :( I hope you feel better soon!

I had a long reply, but then I felt it to be off topic.

While I tend to lean toward the light side most often in life, I do border the two now and then. I my life just took a major halt regarding my future career and needless to say I've been closer to the dark side lately. But I'm trying my best to over come it and tell myself to keep going.

Unlike the Dark Side, depression is curable. It doesn't have anything to do with the Force, it's just buggy brain chemistry. You should visit a doctor; maybe you'll be prescribed antidepressants.

Angry and brooding...I was there through my teens and 20's.  I would have been a dark Jedi then lol.

Bubbly and cheerful is not a requirement for being a Jedi...in fact I would say they run the gambit of behavior except for mass murder and serial killing, leaving that to those who are sub possessed or falling.

I suspect that since you can see it and understand where you are then it is more of a slump...to get some pie...pie can change your outlook on life  :)

I don't necessarily feel there's a strong link between personal emotions and Force alignment (I won't get into good/evil and light/dark alignment - another discussion for another topic). I've known depressives who're fundamentally good people, and cheerful, charismatic folk who'd as soon knife you in the back as give you a hand.

However, I think it's clear that those who feel disenfranchised, hurt or cheated can see power in the dark side - revenge, anger, hatred... All can feel good, seductive, and potent. All are of the dark side, and will taint a soul if embraced, and especially if they're allowed to eat away at the soul of the sufferer.

My impression is that - for most people - the reality of those negative emotions is something that they taste, perhaps enjoy briefly, but let go. For some, those emotions can be like acid, eroding resistance and eating away at their normal personality.

In real life, we don't get Force lightning, the ability to choke people or superhuman agility from those negative emotions. We just get the acid, eating away at us.

Arkanus, I hope you'll be able to get past this. Depression can be fought, so do seek help if you haven't already. It doesn't need to be from doctors, although if it persists then do see a professional.

But it's not just about taking medicine - any or all of changes in diet, lifestyle, work, hobbies and so on can help you shake yourself loose. Talk to friends, family, or someone else in your life who you feel you can turn to, especially if it persists. I've always been lucky in never having been badly affected by this sort of thing, although like most people I had my down moments in my teens and early 20s. However, I know people who've had much more trouble, and all too often they've felt like the battle was theirs to fight alone. Other people can help you, even if you're going to have to do a lot of the heavy lifting.

I'm rather curious as to what you were going to say now, Master Lucien.

Been there, done that, got the t shirt I'm afraid. I start the whole process over again on tuesday. :(

Thanks James,

I've probably gone into my own personal stuff too much already, so I don't really wanna clog the boards up with too much more of it, but I do think that professionals are kinda the only option I have; with the stress at home affecting everyone. I don't want my stuff to make them worse.

All I'll add, in relation to things that look attractive. I don't know if any of you can relate but, you eventually get sick of crying and feeling small, and you get angry, very, VERY ANGRY! It feels good in a way to feel some other emotion than out and out despair, and at least anger can be channelled; where uncontrollable tears cannot.

Of course, it never lasts, because you cannot stay angry forever. Even a Sith can't do that! It ebbs and flows, like the tides.

I am sorry you are going through a rough time.

Being aligned to the dark side is more than just being unhappy or depressed, or an angry individual.

Many times its the people who seem the happiest who hurt the most.

Being aligned with the light means resisting the urge to act based on your emotions, on your own selfish desires. Being a Jedi means knowing you're born dark, that darkness comes easy to us all, but that light requires energy, requires us to resist the dark side. I would say that balance is when the Dark side is resisted. Being a Jedi means walking through darkness, and instead of being consumed by it, you become transformed, a light in the darkness.

Yes, that makes total sense. DOING IT, is entirely another matter. Referring to myself, and in the words of Bid Fortuna; "...'e's no Jedi!" and I am not.

I'm probably no Sith either, because I don't think I'm mentally capable of hurting people.

Not sure what I am; beyond "crude matter".

I was going to type out a long reply, but you basically said everything I would have.  100% agreed.



This I can relate to more than you know.  I'm an extremely independent person, and it's taken me a long time to realize that I might actually need someone other than myself to talk to and confide in.  Which, ironically, adds to my own depression since I haven't found anyone yet.  I'm generally a positive person, but it takes constant effort.  I've just had a lot of people in the past betray me, which makes trusting the next person that much more difficult. 

Sorry for the hijack.  Rant off.  Darth Arkanus, I feel your pain.  Really, I do.  Here's hoping you can get past it.

Even after all these years, I'm still depressed. Thankfully, though, I'm not nearly as depressed as I used to be. Meds never helped, and ironically enough, I feel better now than I ever did when I was taking them. The one major thing that helps me is this: Whenever I feel down, I force myself to smile, and then I just keep moving forward.

Well I was feeling really depressed this last week, I basically failed a really easy shooting test and now I'm out of the academy and can't take the class again until January and I only had one more month left!

I was really torn up about it, but then I thought of the Oklahoma tornado victims and I realized life could be a lot worse. They lost everything, what the hell did I lose? I have no right to be depressed.

I can relate to meds not helping. They cut you off from everything, good and bad. They cut off your intuition and ESP too. (Yes, that does exist, but meds interfere with your brain chemistry, and you end up a door-nail)

You're trying to bring logic into something that has none though. I don't think "having the right" to be depressed has anything to do with it; so reminding yourself that "others are worse off" is a pointless slap in the face.

Hmm. For depressions there is no easy cure which can be bestowed on one with a phrase in a forum but i may tell you again what you already know to give that voice more power again so that maybe you can heed its call sooner or later.

You are not only crude matter and your insight especially in an intellectual sence states that you are a sensible person able to perceive many things with more detail than others. With that we can accumulate that the environment you have around yourself has a great effect on you especially bad things since you are able to refeal it as you experience it.

Are you able beside your job and responsibilitys to be alone for a period of time?
And i really mean alone like taking a tent and be away for 2 nights.
It takes not only the energy to do so but also the courage since you have to be with yourself there for most people this is already enough to say "are you crazy?".

But I would say that the experience of being alone and not in nature would have already a big influence on you.
I dare you to try it out. 2 Nights. When you do that i would love to see with what mood you come back and what you have experienced.

A little thing about me if i might. I was a bad workaholic. I mean to an extend where i was hurting my health and my emotional stability. My balance went down the gutter. Bt since i was in that treadmill of day to day algorithm i wasnt able to perceive that since it has been such a slow deconstruction that i had no ways of perceiving it.
I went Ill for the first time in two years and saw a doctor who for my luck was a insightful and experienced man and he told me to make take all my days off at once to make a vacation. I declined. And he said that he never ever had anyone in his medical office who was so insitently trying to avoid a vacancy. So i left.
Next day i went to work and my 3 bosses stood before me saying that i am not allowed to work since they received a overpowering attestation for immediate off-time from my doctor. God I was so pissed. I was working on a very big deal for weeks which would have come to completion within that month and I am not able to further that "goal" on my own now.

Finally I gave in. I packed my tent and my girl as well as my little Dog and went to a lake for 5 days.
I came back and immediately quit my job found myself again with new hobbys, reconnected to old friends from which I remember that their company brings me joy and rewatched my childhood cartoons to once again laugh my ass off in childish laughter.

It was a long transformation. Step by step. This is the short story and I hope that you can post one to one day since until now I can attest a Happy Ending.

All the best for you and don’t believe your momentarily perception since you don’t want to be unhappy. You want to be happy and yet it seems that you cant perceive where to start to become happy again.

Clear / Clean yourself and cease everything else which you don’t !have! to do and use that newfound resource to bundle them into one goal.
Be your own best friend and talk to your mirror for an advice of yours (really I mean it) when you cant get a tent and go into nature. Find an alternative.

Get up!

I'm saying that there are others worse off than me, so my depression, while personally effecting me heavily, thinking about how others are worse off is pulling me out of it thinking that life could be a lot worse. Its not a pointless slap in the face. Its helping me get through this. Maybe I don't have true depression, maybe pulling out of it isn't that easy, I'm not trying to take it lightly, but this is how I deal with being down and dark.

 I would be so embarrassed if any of those tornado victims saw me upset because I failed my class when their whole city was destroyed and they just lost their friends and family. Knowing my problems are trivial to others' is what helps me get through mine. Realizing life could be worse brings me back two light side if you will, to get back on topic.

I greatly respect and admire you attitude and ability to do precisely what you have described. More power to you for that!!!

Maybe it is not depression you feel?

Perhaps you do not have ESP and instead have Empathy?

With unchecked Empathy you could not be expected to manage all those random emotions.

Just saying...maybe.

 :-\

I think you are right, and I used the phrase ESP so as not to be branded a nutter. I am in fact HIGHLY Psychic, and yes, empathy has always been my strongest "gift". It's developed over the years into mild telepathy, and pretty accurate precognition. You could say, in a Star Wars context, that I have a VERY strong connection to the Living Force. But it's untrained and the tap is stuck in the on position.

That was what i felt all along.
So could you give my proposition a thought?
It still stands unheeded...
My best wishes

Getting out in a tent for a few days? I will see what can be done about that; sure.

Sounds sweet!  ;)

I can't say for anyone else, but I've been thinking about doing this for quite a while myself.  I've been camping a jillion times, but never completely by myself.  Just leave my phone/watch/everything electronic in the car and backpack a few miles in and camp for a couple days. 

Oramac,

i want to reinforce you with this it is really a experience you will not forget.
You will find out things about you which you would hav never heed interesting but yet it will startle you in a very nice and afterward selfconcious/loving way. And you are open for nice perceptions from deep within you without all that distractions.

Afterwards my meditation had another level of peace.
Im sure many made this experience so i support all of you who want to do it.

Best wishes

Kitra

Hey friend my thoughts go out to you in hopes the will you feel better. Personally my allegiance with the Sith and the Dark Side comes from the fact that you become emacipated and you can let your passions drive you. For me this is motivating, for a life without passion or emotion is not a life at all.
But anyway like the Sith Code says:
Peace is a lie! There is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me!

Again friend I hope that you will overcome any pain that you are in and that an everlasting joy will overtake and rejuvenate you.

Thanks, I hope so too. :)

I hit a wall two months ago myself. I had to take three weeks off of work on stress leave. I thought it was depression also, well, I didn't really know what was going on, so I got help.  A terrible incident made everything surface, and the walls in my mind closed in on itself, and there was nothing I could do about it. The mind can be a very scary place, and I was shocked, and frankly, terrified. After many sessions with professionals, it turns out that I almost completely ignore my emotions and 'rationalize' them using logic. So, I was retaught how to get back in touch with my emotions at 35 years old, and I've been steadily climbing back up the ladder since. So I buried the teenage angst I had and forgot about it, (I had it too, Rem), but I guess I suppressed mine and forgot about it.

On a side note, my anger is gone! I didn't think that was ever going to be possible, but it came mainly from within, but also from all of my friends' and family's support when I couldn't do it on my own. At first I was embarrassed about it, but now I see it as a monumental obstacle that's been both recognized and is well on the way to being overcome.

We'll hold the ladder for you where we can, man. Just let us know when it starts to wobble on you. You are certainly not alone and in good company here. :)

Thanks so much for being so open about what you are going through. :)

I have actually had my first session with a counsellor (well, she didn't CALL herself that, but you know what I mean?) She seems to think that my issues stem from self-esteem & self-confidence problems; namely the complete and total LACK of it! Also, I am in "survival mode" a lot, what with the last 5 years of my father's ill health, bills, mum on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and starting off with the collapse of my third attempt at a relationship.

I think it's gonna be a long road back, but I don't really see an alternative that keeps me breathing. lol I very much appreciate the friendship and support offered here. I cannot thank you enough. xx

There are ways to determine a person's personal feelings and thought patterns through certain questions but because the light and dark side of the force are so broad topics I would suggest your personal alignment comes from a perception of power.

Your depression can be treated my friend. Drugs can help but going to a psychologist or councseller will help more. You will never be fully cured but you can change how you see yourself and how you see others by talking to a psychologist.
There is a time for life and a time for death,
A time for war and a time for peace.

May you be given piece mate.

Both codes have valid points. I found a fanfiction Grey Jedi code once. And it was very well done. It made a lot of sense, even though it isn't canon, it still hit powerfully.
http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code (http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code)

There is always a moderation between logic and emotion. You must know when to feel, and you must know when to think in it's place. It's tough, I know, I really do. Instead of growing colder from the world, learn to have an understanding of it. You will absolve your negative emotions and feel free.
And the best possible advice I have ever heard in my entire life was "Love yourself".
Because if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love someone else, you cannot trust other people, you can't trust yourself.
If you become connected with yourself wholesomely, life will not disappoint you. Feel passion, but live in the now. The Jedi focus on the here and now. Sith are obsessed with the past and the future, and thus blinded to the world in front of them.
Understand that time flows in one direction (no really, it does. Physics as we know it dictates you can't travel backwards. You can only move forward, or speed up time forward.) What happened in the past cannot change. It will never change. No matter how many emotions or thoughts you run through, no matter how many "what if"'s and "If only I had.."'s you subjugate yourself through, the past can and never will change. You can only change how you feel about it. You can only control right now. 20% of life is what happens to us, and the other 80% is how we react to it. When you change the perspective, the reality changes. The past can only hurt you if you let it. It can only haunt you if you don't learn from it.

As a final note. Anytime I am having a very bad day. I watch/listen to this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlm-puZNZbg#ws (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlm-puZNZbg#ws)

Makes it sound so easy really (that video), but if it was, wouldn't everyone be doing it? I try though, really I do.

Dont think of it as easy or hard.
Focus your efforts to the success.

Do or do not... ;)

Leave your doubts behind every step you do is a step closer to your goal.

I am holding both thumbs for you pal!

Best wishes
PS: Anecdote... meditation is the easiest thing in the world: breathe in, breath out. repeat. nothing more, nothing less. the hard part for some is realizing that.
Meditation is.

"You arnt meditating till you are meditating."

It's important to remember not to confuse mindful breathing for a meditative state. It's like confusing the brushstrokes for the painting.

Erm, so how do you tell "mindful breathing" from "meditating" then? I REALLY should know this, considering my spiritual leanings; but I guess I've never thought of their being a difference.

I encountered some people who said that meditation did nothing for them or lets say its not a very big difference.
My time with them (we were all free to come and to go no teacher or anything just free nature with about 15 like minded people) was mostly consisting of eradicating the thought that they are meditating.
They couldnt let go of thinking that they meditate holding the rythm and the deppnes(?) of their breath thus the mind couldnt settle.

It was just an anecdote on doing without thinking intuitive without the limits of your mind since there are the only limits you "know"! You posted:

"Makes it sound so easy really (that video), but if it was, wouldn't everyone be doing it? I try though, really I do."

And there was already doubt before engaging it while you want to give it a try.
Let go of your thoughts and feel your way through is what i wanted to point out. :)

Again i feel with you and hope compassionately for your well being!

I know what the dark side is then. For all of high school, I suffered with suicidal thoughts, seeing things that werent really there, they would tell me things like How I was supposed to save the world. I had stress levels that made it impossible to carry out simple tasks, as well as headaches that wouldnt go away, which I had for years. I felt physical pain all the time from it. Eventually my delusions and internal suffering turned into anger. And eventually hatred towards all other people that rejected me and made me feel truly alone. I would punch walls, inflict self injury, and want to bing others down. Until recently, I found a way to control myself, supress my inner anger, and do the right thing for others. That is why I choose to have my first lightsaber have a green blade, to show that I have contemplated who I am, have returned to the light, and have explored both the light, and dark side.