Venting.

[Prowl 1701]

I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm having a bad allergic reaction to my antibiotics.

That sounds awful, Ben. Time to get the doctor to change your meds if possible

[B1ondeange1]

So, a continuation of my previous vent.

Somedays my ankle just becomes all too much for me to deal with, and the last week its been going downhill rapidly. As I said before I spent all last Thursday in a lot of pain, maxing out painkillers, and unable to walk properly. it hasn't improved since then. I'm now on two lots of prescription painkillers, having to visit the physio a couple of times this week in an effort to alleviate it instead of my usual once a week or fortnight, I'm still limping everywhere. Then of course the limping is causing pain in my already buggered knees, and my calf is in agony after working yesterday- and yesterday the limping was even worse at work. Just as well I took my walking stick in with me, coz I needed it getting back out to the car to drive home.

13.5 years of dealing with the injury, 5.5 years of dealing with the ongoing pain and restrictions my ankle puts on me, the fact that I just can't do things I want to do- hell I'm only 26, I should be out there being active having fun and living it up-, still no word from the surgeons after waiting 8 months and the fact that my ankle has so suddenly taken a dive for the worse.... sometimes there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
I try to stay positive and think yep it'll heal up, I know my injury is minor compared to what a lot of people have to deal with. I try to just laugh it off. But its just more than I can bear right now. Add all the stress and BS at work, and it resulted in me completely breaking down at work yesterday. The last week I've been feeling constantly depressed and upset and angry, and I was hoping it would just blow over. It hasn't.

I've organised to have time off work in a few weeks so I can just step back and take a break from everything. I'm hoping the fact that I've got that time off will help me pull through until then, coz atm it just feels like I'm spiralling back into depression again.

Right now I'm sitting at home feeling sick. Woke up feeling sick as a dog and it only improved slightly, after yesterday I didn't want my boss thinking I was just chucking a sickie and I kinda felt OK, though all I could eat was one cracker. I hoped it'd improve, so I went to work. Lasted an hour and half before I just had no choice but to come home again, nauseous, shaking, head and vision spinning, and in plenty enough pain.

so yeah.... that's my rant. Im now going to go try and sleep all this off.

[Master Rel]

Yikes Blonde...that blows.

As much as it may be loathsome to consider, due being young and in context healthy, but maybe a wheel chair is the right option for a bit?

Not a 24/7 sort of thing mind you, just to prevent the constant standing and weight pressure issues.  Get some relief for the bulk of the day.  Let the inflammation reduce, pick and choose when to stand, build up some energy reserves.

Just a thought that is not more drugs.

 

[JEStucker]

So, a continuation of my previous vent.

Somedays my ankle just becomes all too much for me to deal with, and the last week its been going downhill rapidly. As I said before I spent all last Thursday in a lot of pain, maxing out painkillers, and unable to walk properly. it hasn't improved since then. I'm now on two lots of prescription painkillers, having to visit the physio a couple of times this week in an effort to alleviate it instead of my usual once a week or fortnight, I'm still limping everywhere. Then of course the limping is causing pain in my already buggered knees, and my calf is in agony after working yesterday- and yesterday the limping was even worse at work. Just as well I took my walking stick in with me, coz I needed it getting back out to the car to drive home.

13.5 years of dealing with the injury, 5.5 years of dealing with the ongoing pain and restrictions my ankle puts on me, the fact that I just can't do things I want to do- hell I'm only 26, I should be out there being active having fun and living it up-, still no word from the surgeons after waiting 8 months and the fact that my ankle has so suddenly taken a dive for the worse.... sometimes there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
I try to stay positive and think yep it'll heal up, I know my injury is minor compared to what a lot of people have to deal with. I try to just laugh it off. But its just more than I can bear right now. Add all the stress and BS at work, and it resulted in me completely breaking down at work yesterday. The last week I've been feeling constantly depressed and upset and angry, and I was hoping it would just blow over. It hasn't.

I've organised to have time off work in a few weeks so I can just step back and take a break from everything. I'm hoping the fact that I've got that time off will help me pull through until then, coz atm it just feels like I'm spiralling back into depression again.

Right now I'm sitting at home feeling sick. Woke up feeling sick as a dog and it only improved slightly, after yesterday I didn't want my boss thinking I was just chucking a sickie and I kinda felt OK, though all I could eat was one cracker. I hoped it'd improve, so I went to work. Lasted an hour and half before I just had no choice but to come home again, nauseous, shaking, head and vision spinning, and in plenty enough pain.

so yeah.... that's my rant. Im now going to go try and sleep all this off.

Believe me, I can completely relate.  I tore up my right knee in high school, had it surgically repaired and it's actually fine, my left knee however... I was probably 25, helping hang a heater in a parking garage while working as an electrician and I stepped off a ladder wrong, shredded every bit of cartilage in my knee.  They (doctor) went in and cleaned it up as best as they could, but that started a down hill slide.  Anyways, two more surgeries on the same knee (most recent almost exactly one year ago now) and there is almost no cartilage left in it.  I'm getting bone on bone contact at times and am in extreme pain some days.  Doctor has flat out stated that the next surgery will be a full knee replacement, which he does NOT want to do, as I'm only 38.  The average live span of a replacement is between 5 and 10 years, so if I live to be my grandfather's age, I'll be looking at a minimum (10 year intervals) of 5 knee replacements in my lifetime.  Right now, since I'm unemployed, I'm also uninsured, which means I sure as hell can't afford to see a doctor or have surgery...

[kewlkev360]

So, a continuation of my previous vent.

Somedays my ankle just becomes all too much for me to deal with, and the last week its been going downhill rapidly. As I said before I spent all last Thursday in a lot of pain, maxing out painkillers, and unable to walk properly. it hasn't improved since then. I'm now on two lots of prescription painkillers, having to visit the physio a couple of times this week in an effort to alleviate it instead of my usual once a week or fortnight, I'm still limping everywhere. Then of course the limping is causing pain in my already buggered knees, and my calf is in agony after working yesterday- and yesterday the limping was even worse at work. Just as well I took my walking stick in with me, coz I needed it getting back out to the car to drive home.

13.5 years of dealing with the injury, 5.5 years of dealing with the ongoing pain and restrictions my ankle puts on me, the fact that I just can't do things I want to do- hell I'm only 26, I should be out there being active having fun and living it up-, still no word from the surgeons after waiting 8 months and the fact that my ankle has so suddenly taken a dive for the worse.... sometimes there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
I try to stay positive and think yep it'll heal up, I know my injury is minor compared to what a lot of people have to deal with. I try to just laugh it off. But its just more than I can bear right now. Add all the stress and BS at work, and it resulted in me completely breaking down at work yesterday. The last week I've been feeling constantly depressed and upset and angry, and I was hoping it would just blow over. It hasn't.

I've organised to have time off work in a few weeks so I can just step back and take a break from everything. I'm hoping the fact that I've got that time off will help me pull through until then, coz atm it just feels like I'm spiralling back into depression again.

Right now I'm sitting at home feeling sick. Woke up feeling sick as a dog and it only improved slightly, after yesterday I didn't want my boss thinking I was just chucking a sickie and I kinda felt OK, though all I could eat was one cracker. I hoped it'd improve, so I went to work. Lasted an hour and half before I just had no choice but to come home again, nauseous, shaking, head and vision spinning, and in plenty enough pain.

so yeah.... that's my rant. Im now going to go try and sleep all this off.

Ouch, wingmate. That really bites.  I hope you get feeling better soon.

[B1ondeange1]

Thanks ppl. After managing to eat something and sleeping for several hours I feel much better. not 100%, but better.

Rel- sitting with no weight on it can be painful enough at times sadly. At work I've got a stool to use, though my boss doesn't like it and gets grumpy at me over it (she gets grumpy about everything however, nothing new there), I'm guessing coz I'm supposedly sitting and doing nothing- I'm gonna have to get yet another medical cert to keep using it this time round. Its a crummy stool too, and I still have to stand a large portion of the time. Course, if the last area manager hadn't taken my previous stool away, I'd still have a good stool to use  *mutters several curses* my first manager at this store was very understanding, took me on from another store when my ankle was still really bad, put me on multiple short shifts coz she knew that was better for me, even bought me a good stool. Let me take breaks as required- coz she knew I worked hard around it. These days I have a sh!tty boss who reckon she cares, but her attitude excudes "I don't give a damn"- its not much incentive for me, or anyone else in our store, to put in extra effort. And reality is, my ankle probably "hurts" more as a result- I don't want to be there afterall, and the mind is a powerful thing.

A wheel chair would sadly do nothing- at work I can't use it anyway the counters are too tall. At home I tend to take it easy and stay off my ankle. My partner is very understanding, and helps out as much as he can. I also try to avoid painkillers as much as possible at home unless its really bad (like it has been recently)- at home I can deal with it a bit better, and its usually a bit less painful. I hate taking painkillers all the time  one lot of the painkillers are anti inflammatory, so I have to keep taking them anyway- hopefully in the long term they'll help.

My cousin is helping me job hunt- a) it'll get me out of that blasted place and away from all that stress and negativity, b) a desk job is what I need with my ankle. Though that's gonna be hard enough as it is- lack of experience and all, plus an injury that restricts what I can do. Neither make me a stand out potential employee. But all I can do for now is try.

JE stucker- that sucks big time Thankfully our health system works a little different here (to my understanding anyway). Through the public health system I can get it done for free- its just a very long wait. I can't afford to pay for it, and I cant get it done through private health insurance- old injury.

Worst thing is, until I can see the specialist and get more scans done, I can't even know for sure exactly what the damage is, and what my options are. My doctor has briefly spoken about it, but as he said he's no specialist, it'd be up to them.

[Sin Obsidian]

Looks like I really should get back into my advanced age cloning and consciousness tranferral research.... Still no where close to the correct generation of tech, but it's been about a decade since I last went over it all so who knows maybe I could fill in some of the blank spots.

[Master Lucien Kane]

Hey everyone! This isn't so much a vent as it is an update on what's going on in my world. I'm taking some time off from the RP, and the forums, and pretty much the internet in general (Save what I need to do for work) to focus on my family and my wife.

Things have been distant for a while, and we're just now realizing that we have a lot to work on together. So we're doing that. So I'm not dead, or dying, just refocusing my attention on what's really important in my life.

I'll be lurking about as I have time, and I'll try to find time to post some saber videos as I have the chance. Anywho, you guys are awesome. I'll be back on eventually, but for the time being Saber on and May the Force be with you!

[Master Rel]

Hey everyone! This isn't so much a vent as it is an update on what's going on in my world. I'm taking some time off from the RP, and the forums, and pretty much the internet in general (Save what I need to do for work) to focus on my family and my wife.

Things have been distant for a while, and we're just now realizing that we have a lot to work on together. So we're doing that. So I'm not dead, or dying, just refocusing my attention on what's really important in my life.

I'll be lurking about as I have time, and I'll try to find time to post some saber videos as I have the chance. Anywho, you guys are awesome. I'll be back on eventually, but for the time being Saber on and May the Force be with you!

And with you!  Real life always and forever first!

[JEStucker]

Insomnia sucks...

Couldn't fall asleep until after 2am... was awake again at 5am... I'm exhausted and barely functional and somehow I've got to pull it together and go to school tonight.

[B1ondeange1]

Insomnia sucks...

Couldn't fall asleep until after 2am... was awake again at 5am... I'm exhausted and barely functional and somehow I've got to pull it together and go to school tonight.

yep. hate not sleeping its rare that I go to sleep before 2am these days

I was awake for 29 hours straight the other day, followed by only a few hours sleep. Damn ankle was in pain, kept me awake, and then I was so exhausted I couldn't sleep  and I don't operate on so little sleep like that. Luckily I didn't have anything on but, was a weekend at home doing very little and trying to let my ankle recover!

thank the Force for caffeine and sugar, huh? 

[ThreadJack]

Is it too much to ask for a slice of pie!!!!!!! I mean, I don't eat much normally, and all I want is some pie. But we don't have any pie, and it's snowing, so I can't go out and get any pie. This sucks.

[Luna]

Apparently people find my voice annoying.

[Jev Moldara]

Apparently people find my voice annoying.

Well, when you sound like Fran Drescher had a kid by Joe Pesci...

I keed, I keed...

[Luna]

Well, when you sound like Fran Drescher had a kid by Joe Pesci...

I keed, I keed...

Apparently Transatlantic accents are not only outdated, they're unpleasant, too. I didn't even know I had one until today. I must've gotten it from my mother.