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Author Topic: The Sentinel Part 1 redone. (Warning: Decently long story)  (Read 1637 times)
Darth Abaddon
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 96
Posts: 2121


« on: January 07, 2013, 08:50:25 AM »

3,956 BBY 3 months after  the bombardment of Taris



The Sentinel
            
                  Chapter I

   Jedi Knight Sato Kast stood on the bridge of the Garuda. He looked like usual, traditional robes, tired and piercing blue eyes, shaved head and trimmed beard. Sato's emotionless facial features kept the crew calm on this mission, but he knew the danger. He felt a chill run up his spine, even under his warm robes, as the ship made its final jump into hyperspace. He knew he couldn't fail this mission. The Republic and possibly the Galaxy were dependent on it. This view never gets old..,he thought as the ship entered hyperspace. He always loved to stare at the hyperspace tunnels. Something about the blue and white colors was always soothing to him.

   Suddenly one of the guards let out a yell. “Captain on deck!!!” Not two seconds after the guard barked the order, Captain Marso stepped onto the bridge. “As you were!”, he yelled. As he walked to his place next to the Jedi, Sato turned to look at the Captain. His appearance was typical of the Republic Navy. His uniform was pressed and wrinkle free, his face clean shaven and hair neatly kept. He stared into Sato's eyes with his own green, serious pair. “Glad to see the Captain is finally awake.”, Sato said in a joking voice. Without hesitation, Marso replied with his own jab, “So sorry Master Jedi, I forgot how powerful you all are. You're above sleep too now?” They both let out a chuckle as they both watched the tunnel.

   Captain Marso and Sato were longtime friends, going all the way back to Kath Hound hunting on Dantooine. They trusted each other with their lives. Really, the only difference between Kast and Marso was Sato's force sensitivity.

   As they exited hyperspace they came into range of their prey. The Sith battlecruiser Aigaion sat in orbit of the remains of what was once Taris. “Finally, after weeks of hunting, we have found our game.”, Marso said almost reading Sato's mind. He seemed to make a habit of doing that. “All power to weapons! Target the engines then hit them with the ion cannon!”, Marso ordered. He was a natural leader, demanding yet fair. His crew highly respected him and when he gave an order, the crew operated like clockwork with such precision, that the ship was almost alive, bowing to his orders.

   As the ship tore apart the engines, the ion cannon was finally charged. With one shot the ship was completely immobilized. The boarding party was assembled in the docking bay waiting for the go ahead. “The time has come.”, Sato said as he and the Captain made their way to the docking bay. Once more the same chill ran up Sato's spine. He, like the rest of the party, were aware of what might be waiting for them but he had a bad feeling.

   “At your go ahead old friend.”, Marso said. “Do it.”, Sato replied as the crew blasted their doorway. Instantly the hallway of the ship erupted in blaster fire with both sides taking losses. Sato then realized that they were in a stalemate and with a flick of the wrist, he sent all the Sith soldiers flying. The Republic troops quickly overcame them and the ones that survived surrendered. “This is going to be a costly fight Captain.” Sato exclaimed, “We can't leave here without that data. Divide the men, have the Lieutenant and his men take the bridge while the rest of us head to the log room.” “As you wish. You hear him men! Move out!” he replied. With that Sato, Marso and a large squad of men headed towards the data logs. They encountered heavy resistance along the way. As they took out another squad, a dark jedi appeared. His eery yellow eyes met Sato's own. He ignited his lightsaber staff and it hummed an almost hollow tune of hatred and corruption. “I'll handle this, you get the logs!”, Sato barked. Without hesitation Marso took what was left of the squad around and closed the blast doors.

   “Your journey ends here Jedi. You and all who follow the teaching of weakness will tremble at the feet of the Sith.”, he hissed. His voice was piercing and hissed like a serpant. He removed his robe and his body was covered in tattoos and scars. His face was typical of the Sith, twisted and deformed from the raw power and corruption of darkness. “We shall see about that.”, Sato replied. With quick movements he grabbed and ignited his lightsaber. The blade extended and glowed an intense yellow. The mix of the colors made the hall glow a dark orange color. “Your move Sith.”, Sato said. With that, the Sith let out a terrifying yell and attacked the Jedi with such ferocity that it threw him off balance... Initially. Sato regained himself and countered the Sith's Juyo with his Soresu. Sato dodged and blocked every ferocious blow made by the Sith waiting for his opening. Then it came, Sato noticed some debris and with a flick of the wrist, he used the Force to throw it at the Sith's feet, tripping him and throwing him off balance. Sato then yelled “It's my turn now!”, and then went on the offensive. The Sith gathered himself just in time to block his attack. He blocked Sato's attacks easily and without much effort. This duel is taking too long, He thought. Something must be wrong. “I can sense your feelings Jedi. Your friends won't survive this battle. We knew you were coming.” WHAT!? How could this be!? He thought, as their blades struck and let off sparks with intensity. “Give into your anger Jedi.” the Sith snarled, “Imagine your friends, dead. Their twisted bodies under the feet of the Sith. Feed your hate!.” “You Lie!”, Sato yelled. He tried to keep calm as attacks from both sides were met with blocks or dodges, but couldn't help but think, What is it isn't a lie? What if he's telling the truth?

   Just then, Marso rushed in with only three other survivors. “We've got it!”, He barked. As he said this the Sith was distracted. It was momentary, but enough that Sato could strike. With that moment, he plunged his golden blade into the Sith's chest. The dark Jedi winced with pain as he fell to the floor. As Sato stowed his saber, he asked, “What of the Lieutenant?” to which Marso replied, “The Lieutenant met very little resistance. Seems they were all defending the logs. Figures right?” They both let out a slight laugh but quickly silenced themselves. This battle came at a great cost. Some forty men, Republic soldiers, lost their lives for a piece of information. As they turned to go back to the ship, the fallen sith grabbed his staff. Almost as if he was uninjured he ignited it and threw it at Sato. In an instant Marso shoved his friend out of the way and fell to the floor along with another soldier. Without hesitation Sato drew his saber once more and ended the Sith's life once and for all. He rushed to his friend but there was nothing that could be done. He took the data chip, choking back tears, and re-boarded the Garuda. After the fallen were collected they made the jump once more to hyperspace. Sato, once again, staring at the tunnel.

   As he gave the council the data, Master Vrook Lamar said, in a calming voice, “Your friend is one with the Force now. Do not mourn him as a fallen comrade. Rejoice his life and the memories you shared. Honor him as a man who loved the Republic.” Shocked at the simple, yet soothing words the master said, he could merely bring himself to agree. As the masters discussed the situation, Sato waited outside before being called in. “So Jedi, are you ready for your next mission?”, Lamar asked. “You know?”, Sato replied, “I am..”
Logged



If anyone ever tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back.

Darth Abaddon
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 96
Posts: 2121


« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2013, 01:55:12 AM »

Hey guys, I know I wrote this over a month ago, but I want to know what you guys think. Is it worth expanding on or should I start from scratch? Did you enjoy the story? Where are some areas I can improve upon?
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If anyone ever tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back.

Waxman
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Force Alignment: 114
Posts: 696



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« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2013, 05:49:28 AM »

I enjoyed it Abaddon.

It's a fairly simple story with a simple plot [so far], but it's written clearly.

Actually, with all of the stories recently such as yours and Kuroth Metro, I've seriously thought about getting back into the continuations of my own stories I used to write, mainly for practice, however.

I'd say keep it up.
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« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2013, 01:50:55 PM »

One Word to describe it all - - - DAMN - - - Smiley
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