The TRUE Dark side

[Darth_Arkanus]

Even after all these years, I'm still depressed. Thankfully, though, I'm not nearly as depressed as I used to be. Meds never helped, and ironically enough, I feel better now than I ever did when I was taking them. The one major thing that helps me is this: Whenever I feel down, I force myself to smile, and then I just keep moving forward.

I can relate to meds not helping. They cut you off from everything, good and bad. They cut off your intuition and ESP too. (Yes, that does exist, but meds interfere with your brain chemistry, and you end up a door-nail)

[Darth_Arkanus]

Well I was feeling really depressed this last week, I basically failed a really easy shooting test and now I'm out of the academy and can't take the class again until January and I only had one more month left!

I was really torn up about it, but then I thought of the Oklahoma tornado victims and I realized life could be a lot worse. They lost everything, what the hell did I lose? I have no right to be depressed.

You're trying to bring logic into something that has none though. I don't think "having the right" to be depressed has anything to do with it; so reminding yourself that "others are worse off" is a pointless slap in the face.

[Kitra]

Hmm. For depressions there is no easy cure which can be bestowed on one with a phrase in a forum but i may tell you again what you already know to give that voice more power again so that maybe you can heed its call sooner or later.

You are not only crude matter and your insight especially in an intellectual sence states that you are a sensible person able to perceive many things with more detail than others. With that we can accumulate that the environment you have around yourself has a great effect on you especially bad things since you are able to refeal it as you experience it.

Are you able beside your job and responsibilitys to be alone for a period of time?
And i really mean alone like taking a tent and be away for 2 nights.
It takes not only the energy to do so but also the courage since you have to be with yourself there for most people this is already enough to say "are you crazy?".

But I would say that the experience of being alone and not in nature would have already a big influence on you.
I dare you to try it out. 2 Nights. When you do that i would love to see with what mood you come back and what you have experienced.

A little thing about me if i might. I was a bad workaholic. I mean to an extend where i was hurting my health and my emotional stability. My balance went down the gutter. Bt since i was in that treadmill of day to day algorithm i wasnt able to perceive that since it has been such a slow deconstruction that i had no ways of perceiving it.
I went Ill for the first time in two years and saw a doctor who for my luck was a insightful and experienced man and he told me to make take all my days off at once to make a vacation. I declined. And he said that he never ever had anyone in his medical office who was so insitently trying to avoid a vacancy. So i left.
Next day i went to work and my 3 bosses stood before me saying that i am not allowed to work since they received a overpowering attestation for immediate off-time from my doctor. God I was so pissed. I was working on a very big deal for weeks which would have come to completion within that month and I am not able to further that "goal" on my own now.

Finally I gave in. I packed my tent and my girl as well as my little Dog and went to a lake for 5 days.
I came back and immediately quit my job found myself again with new hobbys, reconnected to old friends from which I remember that their company brings me joy and rewatched my childhood cartoons to once again laugh my ass off in childish laughter.

It was a long transformation. Step by step. This is the short story and I hope that you can post one to one day since until now I can attest a Happy Ending.

All the best for you and don’t believe your momentarily perception since you don’t want to be unhappy. You want to be happy and yet it seems that you cant perceive where to start to become happy again.

Clear / Clean yourself and cease everything else which you don’t !have! to do and use that newfound resource to bundle them into one goal.
Be your own best friend and talk to your mirror for an advice of yours (really I mean it) when you cant get a tent and go into nature. Find an alternative.

Get up!

[srams]

You're trying to bring logic into something that has none though. I don't think "having the right" to be depressed has anything to do with it; so reminding yourself that "others are worse off" is a pointless slap in the face.

I'm saying that there are others worse off than me, so my depression, while personally effecting me heavily, thinking about how others are worse off is pulling me out of it thinking that life could be a lot worse. Its not a pointless slap in the face. Its helping me get through this. Maybe I don't have true depression, maybe pulling out of it isn't that easy, I'm not trying to take it lightly, but this is how I deal with being down and dark.

 I would be so embarrassed if any of those tornado victims saw me upset because I failed my class when their whole city was destroyed and they just lost their friends and family. Knowing my problems are trivial to others' is what helps me get through mine. Realizing life could be worse brings me back two light side if you will, to get back on topic.

[Darth_Arkanus]

I'm saying that there are others worse off than me, so my depression, while personally effecting me heavily, thinking about how others are worse off is pulling me out of it thinking that life could be a lot worse. Its not a pointless slap in the face. Its helping me get through this. Maybe I don't have true depression, maybe pulling out of it isn't that easy, I'm not trying to take it lightly, but this is how I deal with being down and dark.

 I would be so embarrassed if any of those tornado victims saw me upset because I failed my class when their whole city was destroyed and they just lost their friends and family. Knowing my problems are trivial to others' is what helps me get through mine. Realizing life could be worse brings me back two light side if you will, to get back on topic.

I greatly respect and admire you attitude and ability to do precisely what you have described. More power to you for that!!!

[Master Rel]

Maybe it is not depression you feel?

Perhaps you do not have ESP and instead have Empathy?

With unchecked Empathy you could not be expected to manage all those random emotions.

Just saying...maybe.

 

[Darth_Arkanus]

Maybe it is not depression you feel?

Perhaps you do not have ESP and instead have Empathy?

With unchecked Empathy you could not be expected to manage all those random emotions.

Just saying...maybe.

 

I think you are right, and I used the phrase ESP so as not to be branded a nutter. I am in fact HIGHLY Psychic, and yes, empathy has always been my strongest "gift". It's developed over the years into mild telepathy, and pretty accurate precognition. You could say, in a Star Wars context, that I have a VERY strong connection to the Living Force. But it's untrained and the tap is stuck in the on position.

[Kitra]

I think you are right, and I used the phrase ESP so as not to be branded a nutter. I am in fact HIGHLY Psychic, and yes, empathy has always been my strongest "gift". It's developed over the years into mild telepathy, and pretty accurate precognition. You could say, in a Star Wars context, that I have a VERY strong connection to the Living Force. But it's untrained and the tap is stuck in the on position.

That was what i felt all along.
So could you give my proposition a thought?
It still stands unheeded...
My best wishes

[Darth_Arkanus]

That was what i felt all along.
So could you give my proposition a thought?
It still stands unheeded...
My best wishes

Getting out in a tent for a few days? I will see what can be done about that; sure.

[Kitra]

Sounds sweet! 

[Oramac]

That was what i felt all along.
So could you give my proposition a thought?
It still stands unheeded...
My best wishes

I can't say for anyone else, but I've been thinking about doing this for quite a while myself.  I've been camping a jillion times, but never completely by myself.  Just leave my phone/watch/everything electronic in the car and backpack a few miles in and camp for a couple days. 

[Kitra]

Oramac,

i want to reinforce you with this it is really a experience you will not forget.
You will find out things about you which you would hav never heed interesting but yet it will startle you in a very nice and afterward selfconcious/loving way. And you are open for nice perceptions from deep within you without all that distractions.

Afterwards my meditation had another level of peace.
Im sure many made this experience so i support all of you who want to do it.

Best wishes

Kitra

[Darth Brayis]

Hey friend my thoughts go out to you in hopes the will you feel better. Personally my allegiance with the Sith and the Dark Side comes from the fact that you become emacipated and you can let your passions drive you. For me this is motivating, for a life without passion or emotion is not a life at all.
But anyway like the Sith Code says:
Peace is a lie! There is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me!

Again friend I hope that you will overcome any pain that you are in and that an everlasting joy will overtake and rejuvenate you.

[Darth_Arkanus]

Hey friend my thoughts go out to you in hopes the will you feel better. Personally my allegiance with the Sith and the Dark Side comes from the fact that you become emacipated and you can let your passions drive you. For me this is motivating, for a life without passion or emotion is not a life at all.
But anyway like the Sith Code says:
Peace is a lie! There is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me!

Again friend I hope that you will overcome any pain that you are in and that an everlasting joy will overtake and rejuvenate you.

Thanks, I hope so too.

[eerockk]

I hit a wall two months ago myself. I had to take three weeks off of work on stress leave. I thought it was depression also, well, I didn't really know what was going on, so I got help.  A terrible incident made everything surface, and the walls in my mind closed in on itself, and there was nothing I could do about it. The mind can be a very scary place, and I was shocked, and frankly, terrified. After many sessions with professionals, it turns out that I almost completely ignore my emotions and 'rationalize' them using logic. So, I was retaught how to get back in touch with my emotions at 35 years old, and I've been steadily climbing back up the ladder since. So I buried the teenage angst I had and forgot about it, (I had it too, Rem), but I guess I suppressed mine and forgot about it.

On a side note, my anger is gone! I didn't think that was ever going to be possible, but it came mainly from within, but also from all of my friends' and family's support when I couldn't do it on my own. At first I was embarrassed about it, but now I see it as a monumental obstacle that's been both recognized and is well on the way to being overcome.

We'll hold the ladder for you where we can, man. Just let us know when it starts to wobble on you. You are certainly not alone and in good company here.