Shadow of the sith lords

[nairbsamoht1978]

haven't written anything new to this for a while wanted to get a opinion this is a story I started a while back and im thinking of revisiting it ive been told a few times I should finnish the story its just the first chapter.

Shadow of the sith lords a knighs of the old republic story
Chapter 1
It was another hot and dusty day on Korriban but then again it was always hot. The red dust swirling in the breeze The only escape from the mid day Heat was the durasteel pod that the Republic Archaeologist had set up.
Jorus Hellstorm Had come to korriban at the Jedi councils request' He was a tall Human Jedi with dark hair a strong jaw line and piercing brown eyes he was wearing the typical Jedi brown robes.
The Jedi Council had requested Hellstorms to travel to Korriban, as a Representative of the Jedi to the republic archaeological survey team that were working in one of the valleys on the planet. There had been a recent quake that had revealed an ancient sith temple that seemed to have been undisturbed since it had been sealed.
The Jedi council had been Clear to Hellstorm on his mission protect the archaeologists from any threats from within the temple. The Jedi masters knew that the ancient sith had always protected places of importance with creatures created through sith alchemy, and they were sure that there must be something of great importance within the temple for it to have been sealed for so long and undisturbed.
Doctor Bran Delcrun was leading the expedition with three other team members two of them students from the Republic archaeological academy. one of the students was a twielek female called Shari the other a human male called Ben Talos from corellia. The other member was a cathar named celston a large cat humanoid with leperd striped fur and two tone eyes one blue the other brown.
Hellstorm had been feeling uneasy ever since he had arrived but that was to be expected in a place permeated with the dark side of the force.
"What's wrong master Jedi you look tense" said Bran.
" I can feel the dark side around us it makes me un easy the quicker we get this expedition on its way the better I will feel."
"I suppose that's to expected considering the history the Jedi have with this place.'
"The sith were our ancient enemy but they are all gone now just as dead as their home world a warning to all Jedi that fall to the dark side"
"Yes the Sith are gone but their home world remains and there is so much we still do not know about them' maybe this temple will throw some light on their past".
"I'm just here to observe and keep your party safe from whatever the sith put in there. The sith were not stupid they protected their secrets from tomb robbers.
"I'm quite aware of what the sith did and that's exactly why we requested a Jedi presence on the expedition" said Bran firmly.
Jorus Hellstorm took his leave and headed over to his ship to make sure the speeder they were using to get them to the uncovered temple had been loaded with the provisions they would need.
Shari was their loading the last of the supplies along with the cathar celston and the other human student Ben.
"everything ok Jedi? " said Celston in a raspy voice.
"Everything is fine I'm just eager to get this done. Is everything loaded that we will need? we won't be back for a few days".
"I think we just need the med kit then we are good" said shari.
"Can one of you go and get the doctor and let him know we are ready to leave" said Hellstorm.
"Sure I will go" said Ben "I need to go get my data pad anyway".
A few moments later Ben returned with the Doctor and they all boarded the speeder and started their journey towards the temple.
The speeder made its way down through the valley with red cliffs to each side rising like skyscrapers towards the sky.
The few bits of vegetation they did see were twisted half dead things that ether clung onto the side of the cliffs for protection from the sun or grew in patches near boulders. But the main thing that stretched out before them was a red and dusty valley much akin to the valley of the sith lords up near the old sith academy.
It was nearly dark by the time they made it to the land slip that had revealed the ancient temple and so Jorus Hellstorm had decided it was better to break out the expeditions  tents and make camp until morning when they would make their way into the ancient temple.
Something woke Hellstorm from a peaceful slumber something wasn't right he felt a sense of dread and foreboding the dark side was strong here but that wasn't it he felt uneasy he quietly grabbed his lightsaber and reached out with the force.
Through the force Hellstorm could see the life energy around him there were the other members of the expedition outlined by a energy appearing blue but there was something else just beyond this something outlined in red pulsing like a heartbeat it seemed to be slowly circling the camp and there were three others not far away.
Hellstorm quietly made his way over to bran and placed his hand over his mouth.
"be very quiet there is something outside" Hellstorm whispered
"What is it?" replied Bran
"I don't know I have never felt something like this before it has the taint of the dark side. go and wake the others quietly and grab a blaster from the kit"
Bran did exactly what Hellstorm said the others were quietly woken up.
"What is it?" asked celston
"I need your eyes my cathar friend I can see the life force around a living being but I can't make out what it is I'm seeing. I know cathar have good night vision I need you to take a look outside the tent door and tell me what you see"
"Sure are we in danger" said celston with a worried look
"Possibly but I can't be sure as whatever it is it's too far away for me to sense properly or is being shielded from the force.
The cathar nodded and carefully looked outside the door. It was dark outside the tent there was no moon tonight but that didn't matter to celston he could see quite well. He looked over to where the remains of the camp fire were that had been used to cook their meal and where they had left their speeder nearby.
"What do you see?" Asked Hellstorm
"Nothing" Replied calston
Then from behind the speeder something wandered out it was doglike creature large and muscular with glowing red eyes and huge claw. hurriedly celston whispered back the description to Hellstorm.
"It sounds like a Tukata it must have come from the temple we need to be careful"
"what I thought they were all dead killed by the Jedi in there great hunt" said Bran
"Looks like we missed some I will try and draw it away celston I'm going to need your help as you are the only person here that can see as well as me in the dark"
"I don't know it sounds dangerous are you sure you need me" celston said worriedly.
"I can't do this by myself I can sense others out there and they can sense me but this one has come right into our camp where the others are keeping their distance"
Hellstorm reached out with the force allowing it to flow through him sensing the red pulsating life force he quietly slipped out of the tent with the cathar celston behind him.
They both quietly made it round to a large bolder
"What's the plan?" Celston asked
" I'm going to draw it out it knows there's a force user here that is why it's come here it can sense me they feed on the blood of force sensitive's its wary but I can feel its hunger"
"So what do you want me to do?"
"Stay here and watch my back I'm hoping if we kill this thing the others will think twice and stay away from us".
"wouldn't it be better to kill them all now?"Asked celston
"probably but I'm not sure they will come as close as this one, its ancient and hungry"
Hellstorm moved silently in the shadows making sure the dark side life energy was ahead of him and checking for the other life energies which were a little further off.
Hellsorm looked ahead and could see the Tukata it had also seen him it arched its back and was hissing it was a large animal nearly as big as Hellstorm its red eyes glowed red and hungry Hellstorm ignited his lightsaber the canyon was bathed in a green hue the creature began to circle him.
Hellstorm dropped into a battle stance and allowed the force to flow through himself anticipating the creatures pounce Hellstorm rolled to the left the creatures claws missing him by a few inches. By the time the creature had turned to face Hellstorm again he was back up on his feet lightsaber in hand this time the creature tried to claw at Hellstorm but he was able back away and cut away one of the creatures claws with his blade.
The creature Hissed in anger and backed away only to pounce back at Hellstorm but through the force Hellstorm had sensed this and reached out and used the force to push his attacker away from himself.
The Tukata was flung against a bolder yelping as it hit it and seemed dazed when it finally got back on its feet Hellstorm went on the offensive striking and wounding it on the shoulder the Tukata hissing and clawing back at him.
Hellstorm backed away using the force to gain more space between him and the Tukata which was bleeding and angry.
The Tukata Circled Hellstorm again mouth wide open saliva dripping from its huge canines on to the floor then it coiled and sprung at him this time Hellstorm reached in to the force to propel himself quickly under the creature while it was in mid flight plunging his lightsaber into its chest and slicing it from chest to tail.
The creature crashed to the floor in a cloud of dust and blood sliding and hitting their speeder with a pool of blood spreading from the body.
"Is that it where are the others?" asked celston
"Looks like they got scared and went, I can't sense them anymore" said Hellstorm
"What should we do with the body" asked celston pointing towards the dead Tukata.
"Leave it their till morning hopefully the smell will keep others of its kind away"
Hellstorm and Celston went back over to the tent and entered to see the worried faces of Bran and the two students.
"

[nairbsamoht1978]

"What happened? asked Bran.
"The Tukata is dead and the others have gone hopefully they will stay away due to the smell of the dead Tukata corpse.
"Do you think they will come back?" asked bran
"I don't know but we should take turns keeping watch till morning' I will take the first and celston will take the second"
With that the others settled down to sleep while Hellstorm dropped in to a jedi meditation trance to sense any more threats.
Chapter two
The sun rose just above the ridge line and it was already getting warm when the others awoke. Hellstorm was already up cooking breakfast on the campfire and the smell of bacon was enough to make every one hungry they all sat down around the fire discussing what the plan for that day was.
"I think we should start the climb up to the temple soon as it's going to get very warm out here in the open" said Hellstorm
"Yes we will have to be careful we should take only what we will need we better take some rations just in case and the med kit" said bran"
"no problem there is plenty of space in the back packs for that and our equipment" said Ben eagerly.
"What about the Tukata corpse are we just going to leave it their stinking up the place" said shari.
"The smell will keep the other Tukata away but we could risk bringing in a larger predator I will deal with it" said Hellstorm.
The morning was spent breaking camp and putting what they didn't need into the speeder for safe keeping. Hellstorm moved the speeder away from the Tukata body and moved it into the shadiest part of the gorge to keep the sun from overheating the power converters.
After this Hellstorm grabbed some accelerant and splashed it over the Tukata corpse then set it alight with a blaster. the body erupted into a small fireball thick with black smoke and the occasional crackle where the heat was cracking the bones.
Hellstorm walked away from the blaze over to Bran
"We should get on before the sun gets higher it's going to be hard going getting up there in the heat" said Hellstorm
"your right there's not much shade till we get to the entrance and I wouldn't want to get caught out in the open for too long" replied Bran
With that Bran gathered the students together and they started their climb up towards the ancient sith temple.
The climb was long and hard a couple of times they had to stop due to falling rubble and the occasional slip at one point a bolder the size of two men nearly crashed into shari and celston as luck would have it they made it to a cave entrance.
"What is this place"? asked Celston
"It's the entrance to the temple" said Bran
"It's not like the other sith tombs and temples they have very ornate entrances" said Ben
"It's probably why it has remained undisturbed for so long plus its quite spectacular inside" said Bran
We should move on we shouldn't linger here too long who knows what's escaped from this place there are worse things than Tukata the sith left in these places" said Hellstorm
The party moved on into the cave breaking out lanterns so they could see ahead and more importantly where they were treading.
The cave opened up into a large cavern stalactites hanging down from the ceiling and crystal formations that seemed to give off their own glow in the darkness.
Up ahead Ben spotted a brazier still filled with oils Ben lit the oils and fire ran along a gulley lighting up others as it went and out of the darkness up ahead were two statues holding swords blades touching in a immortal pose of combat.
The statues were impressive each decorated with their own armour with sith amulets on hands and chest. Both statues were forty feet high both standing on their own plinths with ancient sith pictographs decorating them and between the two was a staircase leading up to a arched doorway.
"Wow" said Ben the sound bouncing around the cave
"Impressive don't you think master Jedi" said Bran
"Yes but what was this place used for" replied Hellstorm
"That is what we are here to find out" said Bran
"I would like to study those pictographs on the statues it might give us a clue" said celston
"Always eager aren't we my cathar friend" said Bran
The group moved up to the steps and set up the small generator along with the small lamps so they could view the sith texts better it was an hour before Bran was able to decipher any thing of note as sith pictographs were very hard to decipher.
"It seems this temple was very important at one time it says here that this place was used in some sort of ceremony I'm not sure what but it says here something about blood and the power of rage.
"It is known the ancient sith practised blood sacrifice to increase the dark energies of the force for their alchemy" said Hellsotm
"It also mentions something about blood of stone bound in metal the power of anger multiplied"
"Sounds like a sith amulet a very rare sith amulet" said Ben
"It could be if this place has been left undisturbed for so long the amulet may still be here" said Bran
"I'm not sure we should be meddling with something like that after all there must be a reason why the sith sealed this place" said Shari.
"I'm sure the reason why the sith sealed this place was to stop other sith from gaining this artefact and gaining an advantage over the rest" said Bran firmly
"We should move cautiously I don't like the feel of this place and I feel a growing darkness like something isn't right a tremor in the force" said Hellstorm
"is it something here with us now?" asked Shari
"no but I can't be sure this place is strong in the dark side I'm finding it difficult as the dark side is clouding my vision" said Hellstorm with a worried look
"Are we safe here?" asked celston
"I don't feel any immediate threat but we should move carefully there's no telling what was sealed in here to protect this place"
With that Bran the students and Celston began to pack away the small generator and the lamps they had been using back into their back packs.
In the distance the group heard something drop like something had just slipped off the a ledge stones and gravel hitting the floor.
"What was that?" said Bran
"I'm not sure do you want me to check it out" replied celston
"I'll come with you! Bran you stay here with the others" said Hellstorm
Celston and Hellstorm moved off into the darkness to investigate what had caused noise they had heard.
Hellstorm once again allowed the force to flow through him allowing his mind to see the life energies around him, stretching out with his mind he felt the energies of the others behind him and celston next to him then there in front of him the pulsating energies red beating like a heart.
"Tukata" Hellstorm screamed
Hellstorm ignited his lightsaber and used the force to push the cathar to one side while he dove the other way narrowly avoiding the claws of one of the Tukata's
"Clever I wondered where the other three went to hide themselves" said Hellstorm
The three Tukata circled the Jedi and his cathar companion growling and hissing red eyes and white teeth glinting from the light from Hellstorms Lightsaber.
Celston had drawn his blaster and was crouching behind Hellstorm watching the Tukata circling behind, he decided to take a pot shot at the nearest one, the Tukata howled as the beam hit it in the shoulder.
The Tukatas eyes seemed to glow for a second with anger then celston surprised seen that the wound on the beast seem to close up and heal.
"What are these things and why didn't the other one you killed do that?" Celston asked with fear in his voice.
"The other Tukata was old and hungry these have recently fed and are younger their healing ability comes from the dark side" said Hellstorm
"How are we going to kill these things?" asked Celston
"The wound you caused was too small easily healed if the wound is great the Tukata will not be able to heal its self, so a shot to the head or greater damage from a lightsaber will kill it" shouted Hellstorm
At that moment one of the circling Tukata's pounced at Hellstorm mouth open and claws extended, Hellstorm and Celston dove out of the way rolling back onto their feet.
Then another dove at Hellstorm but was thrown back against the wall as Hellstorm was able to push it back with the force, the Tukata growled with rage.
Another Tukata sprung at Celston managing to claw him across the back leaving gouges through his clothes and blood weeping from his back Celston went down on the floor screaming in agony.
The Tukata sensing the cathars weakness concentrated their attack and went after the stricken Celston. Two of the Tukata pounced at Celston Hellstorm sensed what was about to happen and reached further into the force, he pushed one of the Tukata back allowing one of the Tukata to take flight and while in mid pounce Hellstorm swept his lightsaber down cutting off the Tukata's head.
Celston managed to gather his strength and pull himself up off the floor it was evident he was in pain from wound on his back as he grimmest with the effort.
"You ok" Asked Hellstorm
"I'll live but there are still two more of those things" said Celston
The Tukata were wary but were continuing to circle the wounded Celston and the Jedi Master hissing and growling as they went.
The two Tukata coiled and sprang at the Jedi with teeth and claws but the Jedi used the force to hold both the creatures mid flight and send them crashing to the floor.
Both the remaining Tukata looked stunned and dazed as they gathered themselves up Celston managed to get a shot off from his blaster hitting one of the Tukata in the head burning a hole through it and the body slumping to the floor.
The other Tukata seeing this growled and ran at the cathar pouncing at him but Hellstorm managed to get between Celston and the creature using the force to push the creature away. It then clawed at the Jedi but Hellstorm dodged its attack bringing his lightsaber down in a ark just missing the creature as it quickly backed away, the creature growled at Hellstorm ears back bearing its teeth eyes glowing red with rage.
Hellstorm lunged at the creature just grazing its face the blood dripping on the floor and the creature hissing and growling then the Tukata Recoiled and pounced at the Jedi.
Hellstorm used the force to quicken his reflexes stepping to one side in a blur and bringing his lightsaber down across the Tukata's back slicing the creature in half.
Both half's of the creature tumbled across the floor in a spray of blood coming to rest near Celston.
"We should head back to the others" said Hellstorm
Hellstorm put his arm around the stricken Cathar and they both walked off to the distant light of the expedition party.

[nairbsamoht1978]

its a bit rough not proof read through it much so still might be a few mistakes