Landen Se-Sentien
Shadow Sentinel of the Manticore Order
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 1828
Posts: 3781
I work in the Darkness in service of the Light
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« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2016, 01:47:56 AM » |
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A lot of them just aren't appropriate for posting on the forum, what can I say - archaeologists like it dirty.
Well, if we're going there. Here's a few that are relevant to my life. Soccer players do it for 90 minutes with no timeouts and don't need substitutions. Drummers do it in perfect rhythm. Wrestlers know the best holds. Teachers make sure you "get it" right. Bikers do it full throttle. And my personal favorite... Scuba divers do it deeper, go down all the time, stay down longer, come up wetter, and always finish satisfied the same time as our buddies. |
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sedstiskyfaller
Artisan of the Azure Order
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 617
Posts: 2214
Blue is my color, it is who I am
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« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2016, 03:26:28 AM » |
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^ Hahaha, that last one really got me 
Don't trust atoms...they make up everything... Sometimes I refrain from telling chemistry jokes...because I'm afraid they won't get a good reaction I tell bad chemistry jokes...because all the good ones argon... What should we do with all these bad jokes? Barium |
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« Reply #17 on: March 16, 2016, 09:08:01 AM » |
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What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel on his head? Douglas
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Rapine
Honoured Recipient of the Warlord Order
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -3020
Posts: 7792
Always scanning the horizon...
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« Reply #18 on: March 16, 2016, 09:21:54 AM » |
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What do you call a man laying in hole? Phil.
What do you call a man laying in front of a door? Matt.
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"The thing that always drives me hazy, is wondering whether it's them or me who's crazy." ~ A. Einstein |
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Stovepipez
Knight Sergeant
Force Alignment: 16
Posts: 89
When slightly less then the best will do!
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« Reply #19 on: March 16, 2016, 10:29:44 AM » |
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I am going to hate my nine year old self forever...
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water?
Bob
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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« Reply #20 on: March 16, 2016, 11:59:24 AM » |
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I am going to hate my nine year old self forever...
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water?
Bob
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
They're classics for a reason |
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« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2016, 12:01:21 PM » |
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Ok, time to go a little dirty....
A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and says: "excuse me. Do you have problems with shell sticking to your fur?."
The rabbit looks at the bear and simply says "no"
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit
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Landen Se-Sentien
Shadow Sentinel of the Manticore Order
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 1828
Posts: 3781
I work in the Darkness in service of the Light
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« Reply #22 on: March 16, 2016, 03:04:53 PM » |
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A guy is out bear hunting when he shoots a big black bear. As he is standing over his trophy, he feels a tap, tap, tap on his shoulder. He turns around to see an even bigger grizzly bear.
"That was my cousin," said the grizzly. "I'm either going to maul you to death or have my way with you." A few weeks later, when the hunter has recovered, he goes out hunting for that grizzly bear, and he shoots it. As he's standing over it, he feels another tap, tap, tap. He turns around to see an enormous grizzly bear. Even bigger than the first.
"THat was my brother. I'm either going to maul you to death, or I'm going to have really rough sex with you." A few months later, after he's recovered, he goes looking for that bear. After he shoots it, and hrs standing over it, tap, tap, tap. He turns around to see a giant polar bear.
"Admit it, you don't come here for the hunting. Do you?"
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shade_1313
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 766
Posts: 1752
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« Reply #23 on: March 16, 2016, 03:24:52 PM » |
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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
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Ba-Dum-Tsshhhhh!
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Jev Moldara
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 1280
Posts: 6438
The Mad Professor
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« Reply #24 on: March 16, 2016, 05:01:44 PM » |
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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.
One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.
He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on!
The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.
The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'
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Mad Science means never stopping to ask "What's the worst that could happen?" Nothing is forgotten. Nothing is ever forgotten.  |
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Rapine
Honoured Recipient of the Warlord Order
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -3020
Posts: 7792
Always scanning the horizon...
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« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2016, 05:26:25 PM » |
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Good one Jev.
+1
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"The thing that always drives me hazy, is wondering whether it's them or me who's crazy." ~ A. Einstein |
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Darth Calon
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -480
Posts: 3584
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« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2016, 05:51:59 PM » |
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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
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Ba-Dum-Tsshhhhh!
Good one. Especially 'cause I play drums. +1  |
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GregG124
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 436
Posts: 1479
There is only The Force.
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« Reply #27 on: March 17, 2016, 05:17:11 PM » |
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What do you call a bunch of crazy and friendly addicts with empty wallets?
....SaberForum.com
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Sabers I Own:
Dominix LE V4 (Obsidian V3) - Consular Green
Arbiter (Obsidian Lite) - Consular Green
Liberator V3 (Stunt) - Guardian Blue
Light Side Points Appreciated
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Rapine
Honoured Recipient of the Warlord Order
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -3020
Posts: 7792
Always scanning the horizon...
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« Reply #28 on: March 17, 2016, 05:19:07 PM » |
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What do you call a bunch of crazy and friendly addicts with empty wallets?
....SaberForum.com
True story. |
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"The thing that always drives me hazy, is wondering whether it's them or me who's crazy." ~ A. Einstein |
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Darth Calon
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -480
Posts: 3584
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« Reply #29 on: March 17, 2016, 05:20:48 PM » |
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