Majobu5
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 1853
Agent Zero. No points
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« Reply #315 on: December 22, 2016, 04:28:07 AM » |
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Do tell....
Oh snaps! You never heard it?! OK, here goes: Superman was flying about, doing his Superman things when he decides to return back to the Justice league tower. While flying in, he spots Wonder Woman on the rooftop, nude, spread full eagle, rubbing herself out in ecstasy, laying on a beach chair. Superman gets curious. "I'm Superman. I wonder if I swoop down there, get in a quick couple of pumps, and get out of there, she won't even notice!" So superman swoops down like a speeding bullet, in the blink of an eye, gets a few pumps in, and wooshes off. Wonder Woman just then pops up and exclaims, "WHAT THE KRIFF WAS THAT??" And the Invisible Man says, "I don't know, but all of a sudden my a$$hole hurts like hell!!" |
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No points, just fist bumps baby!
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Obese Wan Kenobese
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 338
Posts: 1242
Fretful Instigator of the Prismatic Order
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« Reply #316 on: December 22, 2016, 04:54:09 AM » |
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I prefer the one from TV where she's using the bathroom on her invisible plane. It's less rapey. Or this...  ...Ah, the super friends zone. I know it well. |
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Selfish passion is unquenching.
What strength have you when you are a slave to your passions?
What power without strength of character?
To self centered rage, you will be chained.
The dark side is no victory.
The long path to peace is through balanced emotions.
The first step to gaining knowledge is recognizing your own ignorance.
Serenity is patient, not passionate satisfaction.
Find harmony by understanding chaos.
Become one with the force, which will never die.
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Rapine
Honoured Recipient of the Warlord Order
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -3020
Posts: 7792
Always scanning the horizon...
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« Reply #317 on: December 22, 2016, 01:11:10 PM » |
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"The thing that always drives me hazy, is wondering whether it's them or me who's crazy." ~ A. Einstein |
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« Reply #318 on: December 22, 2016, 02:31:37 PM » |
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Oh snaps! You never heard it?!
OK, here goes:
Superman was flying about, doing his Superman things when he decides to return back to the Justice league tower. While flying in, he spots Wonder Woman on the rooftop, nude, spread full eagle, rubbing herself out in ecstasy, laying on a beach chair. Superman gets curious.
"I'm Superman. I wonder if I swoop down there, get in a quick couple of pumps, and get out of there, she won't even notice!"
So superman swoops down like a speeding bullet, in the blink of an eye, gets a few pumps in, and wooshes off. Wonder Woman just then pops up and exclaims, "WHAT THE KRIFF WAS THAT??"
And the Invisible Man says, "I don't know, but all of a sudden my a$$hole hurts like hell!!"
Yeah.....that one. |
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Sig by For Tyeth...the Force shall set me free. Arsenal: (* w/ sound) Scorpion*(BR) Emerald Mantis CE* Chosen One*(BR) Shock LE*(FO) Archon V2.1*(CG) Dk Prophecy(BR){Thanks Qui-Lar} Menace CE staff*(BH) Flamberge CE*(BR) Initiate LE V2(BR) Dk Initiate V3(CG) Manticore CE*(SY) Dominix LE V3(AB) Bellicose*(GB) Dk Arbiter*(VA) Dominix V4(BR) Emperor's Hand*(DVA) Aeon V4(GB) Dk Initiate V4 (HP) Project:BOOYA!
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Majobu5
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 1853
Agent Zero. No points
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« Reply #319 on: December 22, 2016, 11:20:46 PM » |
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Rapey...ok
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No points, just fist bumps baby!
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« Reply #320 on: January 15, 2017, 12:31:12 AM » |
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One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt, and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this offended her, she kept silent.
The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."
This, she decided, was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed his crotch. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener and the poolman."
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Majobu5
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 1853
Agent Zero. No points
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« Reply #321 on: January 15, 2017, 08:42:11 PM » |
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One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt, and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this offended her, she kept silent.
The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."
This, she decided, was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed his crotch. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener and the poolman."
Nice! |
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No points, just fist bumps baby!
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Darth Xocni
Knight Officer
Force Alignment: -48
Posts: 101
The Dark Side gives me strength
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« Reply #322 on: January 16, 2017, 11:04:56 AM » |
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What do you call three ravens sitting next to three crows?
Conspiracy to Murder.
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 Nwûl tash. Dzwol shâsotkun. Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk. Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan. Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha. Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak. Wonoksh Qyâsik nun. "Failure and disobedience are one and the same... In the Sith tongue both translate as "treason". That is the wisdom of the ancients!" Initiate LE V2 "Justice" - GB UEMG Overlord "Ari iv Azinimas" - BR UEHG Obsidian V4 |
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« Reply #323 on: January 16, 2017, 03:38:37 PM » |
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A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He replies, "Gotcha!"
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Rapine
Honoured Recipient of the Warlord Order
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -3020
Posts: 7792
Always scanning the horizon...
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« Reply #324 on: January 16, 2017, 03:39:54 PM » |
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LOL! -1 Knox (so doing that)  |
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"The thing that always drives me hazy, is wondering whether it's them or me who's crazy." ~ A. Einstein |
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« Reply #325 on: January 16, 2017, 03:40:45 PM » |
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A woman left the man on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."
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Majobu5
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 1853
Agent Zero. No points
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« Reply #326 on: January 17, 2017, 01:50:35 AM » |
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A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He replies, "Gotcha!"
A woman left the man on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."
2 quality jokes! |
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No points, just fist bumps baby!
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Darth Calon
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -480
Posts: 3584
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« Reply #327 on: January 17, 2017, 02:06:50 AM » |
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Patient: "Doc, I'm really nervous, this is my first surgery."
Doctor: "I know exactly how you feel, you're my first patient."
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Landen Se-Sentien
Shadow Sentinel of the Manticore Order
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 1828
Posts: 3781
I work in the Darkness in service of the Light
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« Reply #328 on: January 17, 2017, 02:13:03 AM » |
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Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.
Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Grandma, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”
“Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”
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« Reply #329 on: January 17, 2017, 11:13:54 AM » |
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A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical.
"Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100?" he asks.
"That depends," says the doctor. "Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Do you drink?"
"No."
"Do you fool around with loose women?"
"Of course not."
"Well, then," says the doctor. "Why the hell do you want to live for another 40 years?"
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