Random Thoughts of Members (anything goes...well with in forum rules)

Quote from: Darth Tepes on December 22, 2018, 12:51:50 PM

I want to share something with everyone, an experience and some advice that I hope will be of benefit. Some of you may have noticed I was absent for a bit after Thanksgiving, I'm sure many were. I wish it was just Holiday hectic activities that kept me away from the forum. I currently live in another state away from my family, due to my Wife's job. I had not seen my family in 7 years. Financial issues first then no time off from work, until last year when I got promoted and started accruing leave time, I had 2 weeks saved up and was going to go home when I had a month's worth. Fate had different plans. Thanksgiving night, exactly a month ago, I was about to call my family when my phone rang and it was my sister. It was a call I had been fearing for many years based on my own worrisome nature..but it still took me by Surprise. She called to inform me My Father had passed away.
   I can honestly say...it broke me. My Father was and will always be one of the few people in this world I look up to. He wasn't perfect but he taught us all to be self sufficient, hard working and so many other things that would take too long to list. But he could be stubborn, and he often refused to go to the doctor. He suffered a massive Heart Attack, and it was not his first apparently. He had multiple attacks over the course of the year but kept his pain hidden or brushed it off. The Doctors said there was nothing they could have done since his heart was so damaged. He and my Mother had just celebrated their 49th Anniversary, but they have been together for 53 years in total...they were High School sweethearts. He also would have celebrated his 71st Birthday very soon. I am not the first to go through this nor will I be the last. The "advice" I have has also been said before to the point its almost cliche, but if it can e of use it shouldn't be forgotten. Go see your parents..every chance you get. Talk to them, listen to them ask them questions about the past. If you cant go see them call them, write them a letter, make them a video. Anything is better than silence.
   If you don't have the greatest relationship with your parents, take the initiative and try to mend it. If it fails at least you know you exhausted all efforts. They will not always be there. Losing a parent will never not be hard for anyone, but when you have regrets on top of it. Its unbearable. Sorry to bring everyone down, I do hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Thank you for sharing this, and my condolences. Your advice is extremely sound, and I like to add to it doesn't just apply to your parents, but also grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and anyone else. Make an effort to be with the one you love, even if you have a hard time agreeing with them. They are still your family, and you will never regret the time you spent with them, only the time you didn't.