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Author Topic: Shadow of the Outcast  (Read 47813 times)
Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« on: September 08, 2017, 07:20:14 PM »

First off, these characters are mine. Nobody is allowed to use them without my permission. I say this, because I don't want people stealing my stories and characters. Just like with anything someone else creates, you need their permission to use it.

Second, this story is not complete, nor edited, and is subject to change.

And third, this is for you guys Karmack and TheDutchman. You are the ones who actually caused me to start thinking about actually writing this into a story. Like I said above, it is not finished, but for now, enjoy Shadow of the Outcast.



Prologue



“They’ve come for us.”

Taegin awoke to the sound of his master Denna Eem’s voice. They had been in hiding for the past year. Ever since Order 66 had been initiated, the two Jedi had gone unnoticed by the Empire. They did not know if any of the other Jedi had survived the Supreme Chancellor--now Emperor’s–order to exterminate all the Jedi. They always hoped that some had, but they knew it was unlikely. Now it seemed, the Empire had finally caught up with them. As they quickly packed up their few meager belongings, they could hear the Stormtroopers searching through the woods. They were getting closer, and the two men knew that it would not be long before they were upon them. They were so close now that the sound metallic voices could be heard through the trees.

"Fan out, and search every inch of these woods. Lord Vader wants them found.” They were saying. As the troops began to close in, the Jedi were ready. Over the last year they had learned to use the shadows for cover. They quickly ran. Disappearing into the early morning light, but they could hear the troopers behind them still. “Sergeant, we found their camp. By the looks of it, they’ve only been gone a few minutes. My heat sensors are still picking up signatures from where they slept.” One trooper said. “Good work, we’re closing in.” Said the Sergeant, “Let’s move, they can’t be far away.” As the Stormtroopers began to give chase, the Jedi ran faster. Suddenly they heard it, or rather felt it through the Force. It was something dark and foreboding, like a song full of fear and anger.

“There is only one thing that could be,” Taegin’s master said, “Darth Vader.”

They continued to run, but the song was getting stronger. Closer.

“Keep going Taegin.” His master said, “I’ll catch up to you.”

But the young Jedi knew that it was the last time he would ever see his beloved master again. The bond shared between Master and Apprentice was too great. Teagin knew through a slight tremor in the Force, that his master was going to face Vader. Alone. So he ran. Ran faster than he ever had before. But then he stopped. He could no longer feel the simple yet beautiful song that normally so perfectly synchronized with his own coming from his master. He knew then that Vader had killed him. Denna Eem was a great Jedi, and an amazing warrior, but no one, not even a Blue Zabrak Jedi could defeat the Sith Lord. As he fell to his knees in sorrow and anger, he once again felt the dark song. Though this time it was not just coming from the Sith Lord, but also from himself.

“Join me young padawan, and I will teach to never know pain again.” Came the evil voice of the man who had destroyed the Jedi order.

“I . . .  will join you.” Came his reply.



You may have noticed the term "Blue Zabrak", and may be wondering what that is. It is just something that I made up. It is a variation of the Zabrak. Anywhere but on Iridonia, their skin color would be considered black and/or brown, but the color is shaded to more of a grey/blue color rather than the black or brown. They are also distinguished as "Blue", because in their culture they are known to be able to adapt to situations better, and are usually better warriors, and they are extremely rare. Again, this is not Canon, nor is it even Legends. It is something that I completely made up. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this prologue to Shadow of the Outcast. More will be coming, eventually.  Wink
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Sean107
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Force Alignment: -27
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Peace Is A Lie!


« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2017, 09:20:57 PM »

Love the story! Excellent creation with the Blue Zabrak.

First off, these characters are mine. Nobody is allowed to use them without my permission. I say this, because I don't want people stealing my stories and characters. Just like with anything someone else creates, you need their permission to use it.

Second, this story is not complete, nor edited, and is subject to change.

And third, this is for you guys Karmack and TheDutchman. You are the ones who actually caused me to start thinking about actually writing this into a story. Like I said above, it is not finished, but for now, enjoy Shadow of the Outcast.
I only release details of anything that is already copy written. For example, as a film director/writer, anytime I want to share anything, I upload it to a website that obtain all the rights for me. So if someone thinks they can steal my ideas they will certainly pay for it. Just a recommendation. Most of these sites do charge, but nothing ridiculous. You can also upload unfinished projects and substitute them with finished projects for no additional fee.
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Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2017, 12:05:02 AM »

Nicely begun Teagin!  I am intrigued, and I'm getting how you're incorporating the musical imagry.  Not as intense as my version, but it makes sense that every force-sensitive would sense the force in their own unique way.

Meanwhile, I cannot wait to see what Vader has in store for his young padawan!  :-)

Karmack
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2017, 12:33:30 AM »

Love the story! Excellent creation with the Blue Zabrak.
I only release details of anything that is already copy written. For example, as a film director/writer, anytime I want to share anything, I upload it to a website that obtain all the rights for me. So if someone thinks they can steal my ideas they will certainly pay for it. Just a recommendation. Most of these sites do charge, but nothing ridiculous. You can also upload unfinished projects and substitute them with finished projects for no additional fee.

Thanks, I originally was not going to incorporate the Blue Zabrak into my SW universe, but I had to perfect opportunity to in this story, so I did. Thanks for the suggestion too, I may have to check it out.

Nicely begun Teagin!  I am intrigued, and I'm getting how you're incorporating the musical imagry.  Not as intense as my version, but it makes sense that every force-sensitive would sense the force in their own unique way.

Meanwhile, I cannot wait to see what Vader has in store for his young padawan!  :-)

Karmack

Thanks Karmack. I liked the idea of it, but I knew since Taegin isn't Knighted yet, he would not be as in tune with the Force as some are, thus only hearing it a little bit. Enough to be recognizable, but not to the point where everything is revolving around the "Song" as in yours.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
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Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2017, 03:10:38 PM »

NICE TR!  I love the perspective/pathos of your beginning: Vader absconding with the padawan.  I would not have considered such a turn, which of course makes for excellent storytelling  Wink

I immediately wonder how Taegin is going to survive his encounter with the Dark Side.  Of course, we grow strong through adversity, so I could definitely see how this series of events could produce a POWERFUL Jedi...heh again if he survives  Cheesy

"Blue Zabrak". TR, it's details like this that work so well in your world building^^  Not to mention the subtle use of the "song;" in your opinion is it synonymous with the Force or more an "effect" symbolic rather of life, death, emotions, etc.?  Again: I would never thought of such symbolism (and between you and Karm, it has emerged as a fantastic interpretation)!  I can't wait to read more!

Oh and I LOVE your title TR  Cool

Until next installment, friends  Smiley
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2017, 06:46:14 PM »

NICE TR!  I love the perspective/pathos of your beginning: Vader absconding with the padawan.  I would not have considered such a turn, which of course makes for excellent storytelling  Wink

I immediately wonder how Taegin is going to survive his encounter with the Dark Side.  Of course, we grow strong through adversity, so I could definitely see how this series of events could produce a POWERFUL Jedi...heh again if he survives  Cheesy

"Blue Zabrak". TR, it's details like this that work so well in your world building^^  Not to mention the subtle use of the "song;" in your opinion is it synonymous with the Force or more an "effect" symbolic rather of life, death, emotions, etc.?  Again: I would never thought of such symbolism (and between you and Karm, it has emerged as a fantastic interpretation)!  I can't wait to read more!

Oh and I LOVE your title TR  Cool

Until next installment, friends  Smiley

Thanks TD. I went outside and was playing with my lightsaber when this story came to me. Once I came back in, it literally took me about 15 minutes to write the prologue. Glad you are enjoying it.

I'm hoping to keep this book pretty random. Not to the point where you don't know what is going on, but so that I keep throwing in stuff that you don't expect.

As to your question about my interpretation of "song", I'd have to say it is a little of both. To some (Karmack or Arnor for example), it is the Force, or at least a way of viewing it. But to Taegin and Denna, it is definitely more of the "effect" like you described. Definitely both though.

The title was the first thing I though of, and it fits my character so well that I instantly decided to use it. It was a bit of a toss up "Shadow of the Outcast", and "The Outcast's Shadow", but I feel like this one ultimately works better. Let me point you down to the first quote in my signature and you can see why.

And there is definitely more to come. It may be a little, but it is coming. Wink
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2017, 03:00:10 AM »

"As he fell to his knees in sorrow and anger, he once again felt the dark song. Though this time it was not just coming from the Sith Lord, but also from himself."

That's a great line, the metaphor of a song is very interesting, like it has a rhythm, can have ebbs and flows and crescendos much like anger as an emotion can be at times hot, cool, overwhelming, concealed. 

Interesting prologue, I like the way you have the external action (i.e. a lightsabre duel) happening 'off screen' still impacting the 'on screen' psychology of your character. 

Look forward to hearing more.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2017, 03:30:45 AM »

"As he fell to his knees in sorrow and anger, he once again felt the dark song. Though this time it was not just coming from the Sith Lord, but also from himself."

That's a great line, the metaphor of a song is very interesting, like it has a rhythm, can have ebbs and flows and crescendos much like anger as an emotion can be at times hot, cool, overwhelming, concealed. 

Interesting prologue, I like the way you have the external action (i.e. a lightsabre duel) happening 'off screen' still impacting the 'on screen' psychology of your character. 

Look forward to hearing more.


Thanks. The "song" thing was actually Karmack's idea. In his "We are Gray..." thread, he used it a lot, and I really liked it. You should check out his story, it is really good. (Link here http://www.saberforum.com/index.php?topic=35563.0) But like anything, no two people will be exactly alike in any certain aspect, and that is how it is with me. As a musician, I found it really interesting, and it resonated (no pun intended) with me, so I adapted it to fit my story.

Stay tuned all, because someday soon the next chapter will be coming.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2017, 01:23:56 AM »

*ding It's "Someday Soon!"  Grin
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2017, 01:27:04 AM »

*ding It's "Someday Soon!"  Grin

 Cheesy
I actually haven't had much time to work on it. I have a little bit of chapter one done, but not the whole thing yet. I plan to work more on it today if I have the time, but I have other things that (sadly) are more important.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Karmack
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Master of Ceremonies
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Knight Commander
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Posts: 5602


Light side points please.


« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2017, 07:08:28 PM »

Cheesy
I actually haven't had much time to work on it. I have a little bit of chapter one done, but not the whole thing yet. I plan to work more on it today if I have the time, but I have other things that (sadly) are more important.

Hey, just keep plugging away!  We should story no line until its time.... 
*groan*
Ok, ok, bad reference.  Sorry! 
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2017, 07:41:32 AM »

Chapter 1

Darth Rowahn strode out in front of his troops. Technically he was not a Sith Lord, but rather an Inquisitor. He was one of the first, and most powerful Inquisitors, and was known to most as Inquisitor Rowahn. However, he had always called himself Darth. After all, he was trained by Darth Vader in the ways of the Dark Side, so wouldn’t that make him a Sith? It was also true that some of his training had been taught by the Inquisitor named Malorum, who was later killed by an exiled Jedi name Ferus Olin. If Olin wasn’t dead by now, Rowahn would have to hunt him down. Anyways, that was not important. Right now what was important was the Jedi they were tracking. A young woman by the name of T’Risha Jord. Rowahn did not actually know Jord, but he had seen her file, so he knew she was a young human about 23 years old, and supposedly had been a strong telekinetic while she was training as a Jedi. Now, 14 years after the Great Purge, she was still training. Training and running. But after two years of searching, Rowahn was finally catching up to her. After about 5 years of training, Rowahn was sent on his first solo mission. It was a simple mission something he’d helped with multiple times. Kill the Jedi, and take his saber. That was his first, but in the 8 years following, he had had many other missions. All had been fairly easy, and he had returned within a month or two. This one however, was taking a bit longer. It had been 2 years since he started, and only in the last about 3 months had he gotten any solid information about where the girl was. Why she was so hard to catch, he was not sure, but he knew he could not return empty handed. He had seen too many fellow Inquisitors and other “Jedi Hunters” return to face Vader’s wrath. Why Vader wanted to sabers so bad Rowahn wasn’t sure, but neither did he care. Never once had he failed, and he wouldn’t this time.

“Fan out, see if you can pick up here trail.” He yelled to his men. He had been here most of the day, and was getting tired. Even the Force could only do so much to keep you going. Taking the saber pike off his back, he sat down. He would rise in another minute or two, but for now he needed to meditate. Not as the Jedi did, using it to calm his mind, but rather to beat the Force back into submission. It was a powerful tool, but one that seemed at times to have its own mind. At times sounding like a beautiful song, trying to bring him back to his earlier self. This could not happen. He would not allow it. Hammering it with rage and fury, the song died down again, into the rhythmic thump. Consistent, and dark.

Rising and placing the saber back on his back, he was about to follow his men, when one of them came running back.

“We’ve found her, she’s about five-hundred meters north of here!” came his metallic voice. “She has not seen us yet, and we are waiting on your order to fire.”

“Hold your positions, don’t let her see you, I will face her myself.” Rowahn replied. Then remembering that the Jedi often would sense the Troopers before they got to them, or else sense the Dark Side, they would often try to escape. “If she moves, kill her. We don’t want her to escape.”

With that, he strode off into the gathering darkness. He soon came upon the site where the troops had said the woman was, but she was already gone. Fleeing into the night, hoping to avoid the fire coming from the Stormtroopers. As Rowahn began to give chase, he was soon amongst the troopers, and gaining quickly on T’Risha. He could see her now, running through the woods, deflecting bolts with her bright green saber.

What a great way to be seen and followed. Ignite your saber so that everyone has an exact location of where you stand. Rowahn thought to himself. He would never do such a stupid thing, but he wasn’t complaining. No, this was fine with him. He could easily see her, and follow her through the nighttime woods.

As he quickly gained on her, he could see where she was running to. There was a ship in a clearing not fifty meters away. If he did not do something now, she would escape, and he would have to track her through space again. Not something he enjoyed doing, especially after doing it three times already. Pulling his saber off his back, he used the Force to fuel his jump. As he fell, he ignited his crimson red blade. He landed about ten feet in front of her, making her pull up short. The Troopers had stopped firing, knowing that Rowahn preferred to kill the Jedi himself. He just stood there, waiting for her to do something. She was good, he could tell that just by watching her. Soon she put her saber into a defense position, readying herself for the inevitable attack. Something wasn’t quite right about her, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint it. As they stood there staring at each other the tension was growing. It was so thick now it almost felt as if you could actually cut it. Then Rowahn moved.

Almost faster than the eye could see, he struck. Thrusting and then slashing with his pike over and over again. The only reason why the girl was still alive was because the Force had sharpened her senses and lent speed to her limbs. As she tried to Force blast Rowahn, he quickly sidestepped before the blast hit him. Spinning as he did so to give his saber extra momentum, he struck at about her shoulders. She blocked the attack, but because of its power and height of the attack, she was left undefended in her lower midsection. Rowahn quickly spun again in the opposite direction, and hit her in the stomach with the pommel of his longer hilt before she had a chance to recover from the first swing.

As she stumbled backwards, Rowahn lowered the saber. He was sweating under his mask now, and longed to open the visor. Even after years of practicing with both the customary Inquisitor saberstaves as well as his saberpike, the weight of the hilt, as well as the crimson blade still tired him quickly. Supposedly the blade got lighter as you used it, but he had never found that to be the case. Still, he had learned and adapted. Using spins to get the momentum and strength he required, rather than brute strength. True, he had plenty of that as well, but he liked to save that for the end of the battle. All of these factors combined caused him to overheat much too fast. This too he was used to, but it was still annoying.

One nice thing was his hilt, It was comfortable, and had a much longer reach than a normal saber would. Besides this, he could use the hilt as a weapon, just as much as he could the blade. He didn’t like having the dual blades, because it was too much of a hazard. One wrong move and you could cut off you head. He much preferred his pike to the staves that he was originally trained on. They did have their advantages, like their auto-spin mechanism, but the disadvantages far outweighed the advantages in his mind. Still, something was not right about her.

As he paced around the girl, she quickly recovered. “I remember you.” The girl was saying, “You were once known by a different name.” But before she had a chance to say more, Rowahn said “You are mistaken. Though I have tracked you for years now, you have never seen me, nor I you.” She once again raising her saber into a ready position, though this time, it was not one of defense, but rather attack. And attack she did. She had speed, Rowahn gave her that, but she was also sloppy. He easily parried or blocked her attacks, even with his saberpike which was not always the greatest defense weapon. Than he realized it too late. She wasn’t sloppy, she was sizing him up, testing his skills. Than the fight was really on. It was all he could do to keep up with her flurry of stabs and strikes. Coming from all different angles and positions. Quickly she maneuvered his blade out of the way, then grazed his leg and blasted him with a strong force blast. Rowahn slid across the ground. He was still able to move, but the pain was intense. The troopers did take the initiative and start blasting as soon as Rowahn went down, but she was already gone. Running through the trees once again, heading towards the ship.

As Rowahn let the pain flow through him, allowing it to fuel his anger, it slowly subsided till all he could feel was numbness. That is when it hit him. He realized what had seemed so wrong about their battle. She is a supposed telekinetic, but not once during our battle did she show prowess in that area. He thought. Not until that last Force blast. Normally I would have avoided it or blocked it, but I couldn’t see it coming. She is good. Then one other thought occurred to him. She said she had seen me before, but I didn’t remember it at first. Now I do. It was so long ago that I had completely forgotten about it. But then she had only been a strong telekinetic. How did she become such a competent swordswoman? This thought was troubling, but he had no time to dwell on it further. The chase had begun again, and it was back to space for him.



Well, hope you guys enjoyed chapter one. It is slowly (very slowly) coming together. Maybe some of you will catch some of the other references that I threw in there.  Wink This is still pretty much the first draft, so I will be adding and changing stuff as I continue to write. Mostly just little details, like setting and stuff, but this is a pretty go look at what you will be getting. Wink

Anyways, until next time...
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
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Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2017, 03:51:59 PM »

YES! Awesome TR; your scenes are vivid, the action fast-paced and immediately engrossing, the questions that arise need answering  Wink. I enjoy the world-building that you have done. The perspective from Taegin's time as a Sith can really allow for pathos to organically to develop^^  I am really looking forward to the trials that I know must be forthcoming  Cheesy

Until next time, friends  Smiley
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
Forumverse Loremaster
Master of Ceremonies
SaberForum.Com Moderator
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************

Force Alignment: 1152
Posts: 5602


Light side points please.


« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2017, 12:47:37 AM »

*munches popcorn*  Oh yeah!  Loving it!
I am intrigued.  As Dutchman said, the action pulls you in and there's enough mystery to fuel more than a little speculation and suspense.  :-)  I am looking forward to more!
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2017, 09:42:36 PM »

YES! Awesome TR; your scenes are vivid, the action fast-paced and immediately engrossing, the questions that arise need answering  Wink. I enjoy the world-building that you have done. The perspective from Taegin's time as a Sith can really allow for pathos to organically to develop^^  I am really looking forward to the trials that I know must be forthcoming  Cheesy

Until next time, friends  Smiley

*munches popcorn*  Oh yeah!  Loving it!
I am intrigued.  As Dutchman said, the action pulls you in and there's enough mystery to fuel more than a little speculation and suspense.  :-)  I am looking forward to more!

Thanks guys. This story is actually kind of hard to write. I have no idea where I am going with the next chapters. I know the beginning and the ending, but I have no idea how to get there. It may be a while till I get chapter 2 written. I'm glad you like it though. Hopefully I can continue to keep you intrigued.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

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