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Author Topic: Hide and Seek  (Read 31570 times)
Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #90 on: October 19, 2017, 07:05:42 AM »

Oh, and now there's a prophecy too. It's just one thing after another. One cliffhanger to the next. One curse to One Prophecy. How do you do it? How can you make something so deep and powerful, with so much meaning, yet at the same time annoy us all to death? It is amazing, and really cool to see you do everything. Just when you think something may actually go right, some little thing happens to set of a chain reaction ruining everything we thought we knew. You truly have a great gift for writing, and I cannot wait to read more. Carry on. Cheesy
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
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« Reply #91 on: October 19, 2017, 11:54:04 AM »

IN-credible!  The shift from Karm to Arbor was well done.  Now we need to learn more about her  Wink

And Kage Pollar (or what's left of him  Wink)?!  I want to know more about this ancient Mak'Tor shrine!  Especially now since it is not lost under the Sith defilement.  And what is Armor's connection to this new Song?   Hmmm, "prophecy" indeed  Cheesy

Until next installment friends  Smiley
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
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« Reply #92 on: October 19, 2017, 06:30:48 PM »

Ha!  Glad you guys liked it.  I wrote that LATE last night, and like many of my posts it took on a bit of a life of its own and I didn't quite end up where I wanted to be.  But after re-reading it, I guess it works.  :-)

Now I am in that great dilemma of authors: I know what happened and why: how do I let you guys know in the context of the story? 
Hmm....

Definitely more to come!

Karm
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Karmack
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« Reply #93 on: October 20, 2017, 06:59:02 PM »

We didn't get far.

Getting out of the foundations of the Palace/Temple wasn't particularly hard.  A little force-assisted leap and we were back into the droid service area.  The only problem being the area was no longer occupied by droids.

I was igniting my saber before the threat really registered.  A squad of storm troopers, white armor gleaming, were advancing cautiously down the hall, no more than 30 meters away.  "Jedi!  Blast 'em!"

There wasn't really room in the tight area  for my saber to spin unrestricted through the blast-deflection patterns I was using, but the walls around me were thin.  The saber tip sliced through them effortlessly as I wove a golden shield around myself and between the troopers and Arnor, only now emerging behind me.  "Arnor!  Replace the plug and seal it!" I shouted, then surrendered to the renewed battle song I felt in my chest.  A solid sheet of red energy hammered toward us, and I deflected it up, down, left and right ... and back the way it had come.  One by one the troopers were hit by their own fire and fell, armor cratered and bodies broken by their own blaster bolts.

The last trooper fell and I ceased my pattern.  "Arnor?"

"Done!"  She joined me.  "We need to get out of here..."

Arnor saw what I was looking at.  The fire had ripped the corridor around us apart.  The floor in front of us for nearly 20 meters was all but gone, and the walls and ceiling were almost as bad.  The structure was already beginning to creak and groan with imminent collapse.  "Oh..."

"Yeah."  I pointed up and to the right, through one of the larger fissures.  I could see what appeared to be a dimly-lit gallery through the man-sized hole.  "Do you think you make that leap?"

She grinned.  "Easily.  You?"

I grinned back.  "Well, its either that or go back down under with our sith friends."

Her face sobered.  "And your back?"

I smiled to reassure her.  "There is pain, but the song is masking it for now. I will be fine for a while more."

She nodded, seeing through my smile but accepting my reassurance.  In truth, the pain was growing again and I knew my time was limited.  We needed to get out of this place now...

"Be right behind me, love!" Arnor said.  She turned, stepped, and threw herself into a diving leap through the hole.

I was right behind her.

Arnor's leap was perfect.  She passed through the jagged hole and did a graceful shoulder role on the smooth floor beyond the rent, coming up into a fighting stance, her saber alive and ready.  My effort was ... less ideal.  And far more painful.  As I pushed off, the floor gave out under me ever so slightly, throwing my trajectory off.  Where Arnor passed through the middle of the ragged opening, I scraped along the side.  Sharp metal ripped into the flesh of my left bicep and cut bloody furrows across my ribs under my left arm before finishing their destructive work by tearing my left thigh open. 

I landed in a heap, suppressing a scream of agony.  I could see nothing but white-hot agony.  The song was lost.  Instinctively I rolled into a ball, my left hand clamping down on my thigh, my left elbow pulled tight in against my side, my right hand clamping over my left bicep, my whole being trying desperately to staunch the blood loss and quell the agony...  I was peripherally aware of Arnor bending over me, picking up my dropped saber, applying dressings and spray-sealer all while reaching out to me in the force in her best attempt to help me on every level.  I could feel her, caressing me physically and in the force.  Singing to me...

Sing ...  the ...   song .....

With a gasp I locked eyes with my wife.  Blue met green, and suddenly I heard it.  I locked onto the melody ... our melody ... and dragged it back into my mind.  Sing!  Sing with her...

The melody, simple, beautiful.  Our melody, two-parts intertwined into one with the ever-present song of the Maker.  White-hot pain...  pain... 

No.  Sing.  Sing, Karm!  Sing!

Sing the song.  Always the song...


I felt my ragged breathing slow and become more steady.  The white-hot pain dulled and partially receded as I sang.  I sang as one deaf and dumb...  I all I could hear was Arnor, her simple melody.  But the Song was there.  So I sang ... and slowly opened myself to the song...

And suddenly it was there.  Like a symphony suddenly unleashed, deep and broad and powerful.  The song flooded me, and I gathered it to myself.  The hot, white noise of pain and injury were pushed back ruthlessly until they were only background noise.  The song was center stage.

I blinked.  "Thank you..."

"Don't thank me yet." Arnor replied.  "You do ... what you do.  I'm not half the healer you are.  Let me get the blood flow stopped and take care of this leg..."

I nodded, swallowed.  I could connect to the song, feel the force, but I also knew that the damage to my arm and especially my leg was severe.  The fact that it was essentially self-inflicted only made it worse.  "Guess I kinda missed that jump..."

Arnor barked a tight laugh.  "You think?  Hang on, this is going to hurt."

I hissed as she tied off the bandage.  Despite the analgesics and the healing energy I was marshalling to my body the pain was ... severe.  I was more than a little afraid to even flex the muscle, let alone stand.  But...  "Help me up."

Arnor stood and used the force to assist me in gently rising to my feet.  As I had feared it hurt.

A lot.

"Well, this should make things interesting..."  I looked around.  "So, where are we exactly?"

Arnor pulled the schematic Two had given her from her belt and activated the small hologram.  "We're in ... the ancient tower." She said.  "According to the map, this is one of the oldest sections of the Temple."

"Makes sense.  Its directly over the oldest shrines and holy places established on the Spire."  I took a limping step forward.  Pain exploded up my leg and through my side and I hissed again.  "Oh, this is not good..."

Arnor studied the map for several seconds, then put it away.  She took my right arm and slung it over her shoulder, supporting most of my weight.  "Come on, old man.  Lets get out of here."

"Do you know where we're going?" I asked, suppressing another hiss as pain assaulted me again.

"Yes.  We're going up."  Arnor moved slowly but confidently.  "There's a bit of a maze before we get there, but there are lifts in this section that go to a meditation garden on the roof.  Palpatine redecorated and removed the Jedi iconography and relics, but he didn't destroy the architecture itself and apparently he enjoyed the gardens as much as anyone else.  They're private and they're open to the sky.  The Wayfarer should have no problem picking us up there.

I nodded, not trusting my voice, and did my best to help as my wife used the force to help carry me through the most ancient parts of the old Jedi temple and finally up to a beautiful green meditation garden on the roof.  There were signs of more troops all around, apparently hunting for us, but the ancient sections were a labyrinth even novice force users could get lost in.  I lost track of our location myself more than once, but Arnor took us unerringly through and before the pursuit could close on us our ship swooped down and picked us up.

The shock on Talia's face when we came up the ramp was priceless. She simply stood while we struggled up the ramp, her hand over her open mouth at the sight of my blood-soaked and tattered form.  She finally managed to stammer "Master Karmack!  Are you ... alright?"

I couldn't help but laugh out loud.  "No, Talia, I am most DEFINITELY not alright."  I said.  "Arnor..."

"Agreed."  my wife grunted back, straining now with the effort.  The two women steered me into a bunk and I managed to land with a groan.  "Arnor, tell Illian to head for M'Tzigon.  We need to .... report..."

My last view was of Arnor's nod of agreement as she wiped my blood off of her hands.  My last sensation was that of the Wayfarer shifting into hyperspace.

Home....   A song I had not heard in some time....   The four-part fugue of our small band was suddenly joined by two more voices.  One was familiar and welcome.  The other...

The other was ancient ... the song of the past...

Home.  And maybe ... finally ... some answers...




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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #94 on: October 20, 2017, 07:21:52 PM »

I am getting the sense that this part of the story is coming to an end. It is sad, but also cool that you finally finished what you had started. Karmack may not yet have the answers to all the questions he has, and he may never get them, but that is the way of life. Once again, you completely destroy Karmack. And this time, I can personally relate. A few years ago, I ripped my arm up pretty bad too. Not half as bad as Karm just did, but still, it wasn't fun. I was hoping that it would at least leave somewhat of a scar, so that I could prove it really happened, but it didn't.  Cry That's alright. Once again, great job. This is one of my favorite posts you've done to date. And the reason why, is because even though it's not full of action, it is important to the growth of the characters. These characters have grown so much up till now, that you don't think they could grow much more, but his constant reminding himself to trust the Song, and sing the Song, is great to see. Especially when someone like Arnor who is can't quite hear the Song like Karmack is the one who brings it back to him, and makes him remember to Sing. You keep using the phrase "Always the Song", I like that. I like that you keep bringing it back in, that you keep using that as a way for Karm and Arnor to remember to Sing. But mostly, I like how you use it in a way that makes it seem both comforting, and annoying. Comforting, because it is something constant, and reliable, but annoying it that it seems to them that it is the most important thing in the galaxy, so they can't ignore it even if they wanted to. Great writing, and great job.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Karmack
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« Reply #95 on: October 20, 2017, 09:27:59 PM »

Hmm...  Winding down?  Maybe....

Maybe not.  ;-)

Yeah, Karm gets ripped up pretty bad.  Again, that wasn't what I started out intending to do, but somehow...  LOL

And there's still something hiding... 
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

TheDutchman
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« Reply #96 on: October 21, 2017, 02:43:22 AM »

I am getting the sense that this part of the story is coming to an end. It is sad, but also cool that you finally finished what you had started. Karmack may not yet have the answers to all the questions he has, and he may never get them, but that is the way of life. Once again, you completely destroy Karmack. And this time, I can personally relate. A few years ago, I ripped my arm up pretty bad too. Not half as bad as Karm just did, but still, it wasn't fun. I was hoping that it would at least leave somewhat of a scar, so that I could prove it really happened, but it didn't.  Cry That's alright. Once again, great job. This is one of my favorite posts you've done to date. And the reason why, is because even though it's not full of action, it is important to the growth of the characters. These characters have grown so much up till now, that you don't think they could grow much more, but his constant reminding himself to trust the Song, and sing the Song, is great to see. Especially when someone like Arnor who is can't quite hear the Song like Karmack is the one who brings it back to him, and makes him remember to Sing. You keep using the phrase "Always the Song", I like that. I like that you keep bringing it back in, that you keep using that as a way for Karm and Arnor to remember to Sing. But mostly, I like how you use it in a way that makes it seem both comforting, and annoying. Comforting, because it is something constant, and reliable, but annoying it that it seems to them that it is the most important thing in the galaxy, so they can't ignore it even if they wanted to. Great writing, and great job.
Yes, yes, YES!  TR is right: the character development was fantastic with this chapter!  As with TR, I suffered a debilitating injury many years ago but have nothing outside showing...but it is those inner scars that can truly run deep and long (a fact I imagine that Karm can empathize with  Wink).

I really like learning more about the Song, and not just as a literary device but as a fundamental force for Karm and Co.  To me it seems only natural that the Gray Jedi would...use isn't the right word, neither is follow (although both are applicable).  Embrace?  Probably the closest that I can articulate  Smiley

Regardless, I hope that we keep reading about Karm's adventures for a long time  Cheesy

Until next installment friends  Smiley
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

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« Reply #97 on: October 23, 2017, 07:05:23 PM »

I awoke to waves of red, hammering pain.  "ow..."

I sat up carefully, using my right arm and side and avoiding flexing the muscles on my left, particularly those in my thigh.  The lacerations there had been bone-deep, and despite four days of nearly constant healing trances in conjunction with top-notch medical technology the pain was still ... considerable.  I had found over the years that natural sleep was required for the healing songs and medical therapies to have maximum effect, which unfortunately meant drugs to block the pain were NOT an option.   So my options were simple: endure the pain and heal quickly, or block it and heal more slowly and less completely.

On reflection it wasn't much of a choice.  Besides, the pain was a potent reminder that we all make mistakes.  A reminder that I apparently needed applied far to often.

The pain is good for you.  Maybe next time you'll think before you jump!

The echo of both Master Chillum and my wife's voices rolled through my head and I couldn't help but chuckle.  Since my own days as a head-strong Taedowan I had fought a tendency in myself to favor quick, decisive action.  I knew it was partly because I could so clearly 'hear' the song of the force, and partly because I was also very gifted in applying the force.  Master Chillum had spent literally years beating that tendency toward arrogance out of me before letting me test for my first rank.  And her willingness to call me on it today was one of the things I most cherished in my relationship with Arnor.  In fact, it was one of the reasons I had fallen in love with her at all.  She had never, even as a fresh-faced young Gray, hesitated to tell me I was being arrogant or to quick to judge a situation.  Now, after years of marriage, those challenges tended to come as subtle glances or hidden in code phrases.  But the arguments in the first years of our relationship had been ... impressive.

And loud.  Very loud.

My smile turned to a fresh grimace of pain as I shifted my leg.  The song of healing had healed most of the damage, but the internal injury could only truly heal through movement and time.  The muscle was essentially whole now, but the newly knit edges were raw and untempered.  Only through exercise could the muscle finish its healing process.  Unfortunately at this stage every movement felt like getting stabbed again, until the muscle invariably began to cramp, which felt worse....

I rubbed the muscle, feeling the slight knots and catches that I knew would never totally disappear no matter how well it healed.  Yes, this one would be a fitting reminder not to leap to quickly.  Probably for the rest of my life...

"Look before you leap ... and make sure of your footing."  I said to no one, still rubbing my thigh, almost savoring the waves of pain that radiated out from the wound.  The physical pain would fade with time.  As would the other pain from the other wounds.   I brushed my back with the finger tips of my right hand.  That wound was totally healed, but I shuddered inside as I though about how close I'd come to death with that cut.  Two more inches, and the spinal chord would have been cut, and I would have been killed moments later by the follow-on blow.  Two inches between life and death.  Next time...

Next time?  Why should there be a next time?

No echos of my past there.  I knew the voice of self-doubt when I heard it.  I'd been offered a position, a promotion even, to the rank of Master Maenowan as a Sage and member of the Council.  It was a great honor.  I hadn't known the Council was considering me seriously until just before we left for Coruscant, and when we set out I had not been seriously considering accepting the role.  Being on the Council would mean being tied to M'Tzigon.  Yes, I would have the joy of training the younglings and even the older knights.  Yes, there was great prestigue in the position and title.  Yes, it would be being able to establish a permanent home and seeing Yelena and Karmon more.  It would mean stability.  Peace.  Serenity.  It was a tempting offer.

Now now, not so hasty.  Look before you leap...  Arnor's voice.  Chiding...

Arnor.  The offer would mean seeing HER far less.  Perhaps losing her entirely as she continued to go on missions for the Council.  Sending Yelena and Karmon out as well, first as Taedowans then later as Grays themselves.  Seeing their melodies in the force, and perhaps the end of those songs ... and being able to do nothing.

No.  The offer was tempting, and one day perhaps would be the calling I would choose.  But not today.

I flexed my leg, accepting the pain and pushing it back.  I had to work the muscle, but I needed something else as well.  Something for my mind to work on while the body ached....

There.  Pollar's lightsaber.

I called the saber to me from where it lay on a shelf.  I knew Arnor had run diagnostics on it while we'd been aboard Wayfarer and found it to be in near-perfect order, with very little deterioration considering how long it had sat unused.  She'd replaced the power cells just to be safe and attempted to activate it, but to no avail.  Everything appeared in good working order, but the blade would not appear.  Instead the plasma gate safeties activated every time and cut the power, almost as if the crystal was simply not there to attenuate and focus the blade's plasma stream.

I ran my fingers over the outer casing again.  The faint etching on the casing proclaimed this weapon as the possession of Kage Pollar in the runic text the Order had used when they first came to M'Tzigon.  The runes had been present in the inner sanctum on Coruscant as well, though the outer chapel and shrine had long been dismantled, first by Sith, then Jedi, then Sith again before the Jedi finally closed over the whole and walled it off, bodies and all.    The runes were not a true alphabet, but rather a syllabary of the original dialect of the Mak'Tor.  Very few still spoke it: none below the rank of Sage even knew it existed...

... except me.  Though I hadn't know it, deciphering the ancient language had been a key component in the Trial I'd unknowingly faced before being offered the position on the Council.  Maybe it was only my own doubts, but I simply could not accept the position or the promotion.  But learning the language had been both interesting and rewarding.  Deep down I loved history, almost as much as I loved gadgets. Maybe that was why the saber intrigued me so much.  How often did a person get to hold a piece of ancient history in their own hands?

I runes were not deep, more like an acid-etch than a stamp or tool mark.  I scanned the runes again, translating as I went.  The Light of Pollar - the path to knowledge lies within.   I smiled.  Typical Kage, enigmatic and obscure even in this...

My fingers stopped moving.  Without my gauntlet my right hand was weak and lacked fine control, but the fingertips were extremely sensitive.  There was a difference in the runes.  The first part of the phrase, "The Light of Pollar", were stamped in the metal.  The stamping had been largely polished away, probably from handling, and the runes had been acid-etched to make them visible as the stamping itself was lost.  The rest of the phrase, however, was only etched into the metal ... and as I examined it further I realized that it wasn't true acid etching, but rather the work of an abrasive.  Fine work, but something done by rubbing a tool rather than applying a chemical. 

So the phrase "the path to knowledge lies within" had been added...

A hunch filled me.  I laid my hand on the saber and opened myself to listen, straining for the echoes of the crystal's song...

...and heard nothing.  Nothing at all.  Even over this much time Kage Pollar's song should echo through the kyber crystal of his saber!  Unless the crystal wasn't "his" crystal at all...

I probed with the force, disconnecting the new power cell and disabling the internals before pulling the saber apart, exposing the crystal chamber and the crystal within.  Extracting it took a few more seconds of work, longer due to the clumsiness of my right hand, but soon enough the small, blue crystal was in my palm.  A kyber crystal to be sure, but not a saber crystal.

A data crystal.

"Arnor!" I called, standing up.  I took one step toward the door...

... and landed on my face as white-hot pain radiated up my left leg.  "Ow..."

Arnor burst into the room.  "Karm!"  She saw the pieces of the saber scattered by my fall.  "What happened?"

"Help me up."  I took the weight mainly on my right leg and showed her the data crystal as she helped me rise.  "We need to get to a data terminal.  I think Master Pollar may have left us more than a mystery."
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

TheDutchman
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« Reply #98 on: October 24, 2017, 12:32:12 AM »

A mysterious, archaic message from an ancient sage?!  Shocked  I LOVE where you've taken us Karm; but...but what knowledge is embedded in the crystal!?!  CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!

On a serious note: I can COMPLETELY relate to Karm's pain (sadly  Undecided).  I love the "healing" facet to the Song!  Once again, I have to consciously slow my reading, not only to appreciate the nuances of the narrative but so as not to finish too soon  Wink. And IIRC, TR once stated that the "exposition installments" were his favorites in that the character development is TOP notch.  He's damn right  Cheesy

Oh, and Gray Jedi to Gray Jedi: there's ALWAYS a "next time"  Wink

Until next installment friends  Smiley
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #99 on: October 24, 2017, 01:59:27 AM »

LOL  I was inspired by researching holocrons on Wookipedia.  Turns out there was a kyber data crystal stolen that had all of the force-sensitives listed on it during the Clone Wars TV show.  So ... why not?

;-)

Some answers coming soon.  And maybe ... another adventure?  Hmm....

hang in there! 
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #100 on: October 24, 2017, 03:43:55 AM »


Some answers coming soon.  And maybe ... another adventure?  Hmm....

yes! Yes!! YES!!!

 Grin
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

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« Reply #101 on: October 24, 2017, 05:53:42 AM »

Poor Karmack seems to get injured at regular intervals, its a hard thing to hurt your characters like that, but seems its with definite purpose.  Interesting how things restabilised in the force after replacing that crystal, almost like a final step in a path Karmack and co. have been walking for a while now on Coruscant or even before...but with the data crystal only 'almost' the final step...
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

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« Reply #102 on: October 24, 2017, 01:23:13 PM »

Poor Karmack seems to get injured at regular intervals, its a hard thing to hurt your characters like that, but seems its with definite purpose.  Interesting how things restabilised in the force after replacing that crystal, almost like a final step in a path Karmack and co. have been walking for a while now on Coruscant or even before...but with the data crystal only 'almost' the final step...

LOL  You're getting ahead of me!  But you're right.  That was the "plan" if you will, the reason they went there, though Karmack and Co. didn't really know that.  The crystal will hold some answers.  Hopefully it doesn't come out as to Duex ex Machina...  Smiley
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« Reply #103 on: October 24, 2017, 03:42:18 PM »

Hopefully it doesn't come out as to Duex ex Machina...  Smiley
I don't think that you need to worry about that Karm^^  In this instance, you've been referencing the crystals throughout this story.

...NOW say you'd had Exur Kun show up, saying something like "AHA the Sith that I lead have become Gray Jedi and they used their belt buckles as storage devices--by the way, yours is one such device--for answers!"  Now THAT would come off as a Dues ex Machina  Wink

But that's just a random thought  Grin 

No Karm, none of your writing is cliched, etc; that's what makes it so enjoyable  Cheesy
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Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #104 on: October 24, 2017, 04:11:36 PM »

LOL  Thanks.  :-)

I think I do need to figure out a way to get poor Karmack through a story without getting torn to shreds, though.  :-) 

Just for the record: I do NOT have any injuries in RL that are so catastrophic.  Though I did break a couple of bones when I was in High School...   :-)
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