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Author Topic: A Tarnished Knight  (Read 21932 times)
TheDutchman
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #60 on: October 25, 2017, 08:26:03 PM »

“Gaetana.  A High Inquisitor.”  The Kage’s voice echoed throughout the dome, a collective gasp of disbelief coming from the assembled Gray Jedi.  Again, the Kage’s eyes shown bright, this time with anger.  Controlled, true, but anger nonetheless.  So, she didn’t know everything.  “Yet I find it difficult to believe that she would embark in a subterfuge that would directly lead to the deaths of her confederates.”

“Forgive me, but you don’t know Gaetana.  Or rather, you didn’t have the…experience with her that I did.  When our minds joined, I saw not only the immediate events prior to her trap; I saw EVERYTHING.  She was one of the architects of the razing of the Temple at Kewda. With Astar, she’d instructed her Inquisitors to “keep him alive, just short of death.”  And when Jorya had thought she heard Gaetana say “Take care,” she’d really been telling her Inquisitors to “Take her.”  She had left instructions for the two cells of Inquisitors to ambush us: capture, if possible; kill if not.  With Vader, she helped to orchestrate this entire incident.” Having said it aloud, I felt ashamed.  I had fallen for her ruses; lead into confrontation after confrontation.  I was the dupe, Gaetana, the chessmaster.

“And how do you know all of this?”  The Kage’s question was monotone.

Involuntarily, I sighed.  “Simple.  She told me.”

            __________________________________

“And so, you’ve been my puppet all this time and I, your marionette.”  Her melodious laugh was incongruous with her evil nature.  “But, I always knew that you would come before me.”

Still dazed, I fought to regain my faculties.  Slowly, I was recovering.  I had to keep Gaetana distracted, keep her talking.  “Me?  How?”

Her lidded eyes looked amused.  “Zearic, you forget: I KNOW you.  Quick to anger, somewhat arrogant, and prone to strike out.  Overly-reliant on your strength to overpower opponents.  Intelligent, yes; but easy to manipulate.  How D’Aylanna married you is beyond me.”  Her last came out as a laugh.

“Is this what you’re about?  Jealousy?  Really Gaetana.”  Stronger now, my mind almost free of cobwebs.

At first, Gaetana looked bewildered, then she laughed.  Loudly.  “Oh my.  Zearic, you poor deluded fool.  I have no such…romantic designs with you.”  She kneeled by Jaim, checking his pulse.  Whatever she found, she seemed satisfied when she stood.  “No, you wouldn’t understand.  The Dark Lord only wants the strongest to serve him.  In that, I know you will prevail…at least with…instruction.  Then: you will serve him, strengthening the Dark Side and our Empire.”  She lazily paced towards me.

But I still wasn’t recovered enough.  Stall, delay.  I laughed.  At that, Gaetana stopped, a questioning look crossed her face.  “‘Strengthening the Dark Side?’  How can you say that when you’ve caused over a DOZEN Inquisitors’ deaths?!  Or did you ‘foresee’ that as well?”

Again, the tall woman smiled, voice filled with amusement and contempt as she spoke.  “I did, or rather, I had—how do you say—hedged my bets?  Again, your lack of perception illustrates my point: you are a fool.  I already told you: the Dark Lord wants only the STRONGEST to serve him.”

She was still too far from me.  “All of those Inquisitors?  They were nothing but…but a metric by which to gauge us?”

Gaetana’s smile deepened.  “Chaff among the wheat.  And not ‘us’ Zearic, just you.”

Closer now.  “So Vader would applaud Avvon’s death?  Really, a battlemaster?  Or is it because he was more powerful than you and you feared his position above you in the Inquisitorious?”  At that, I grinned.  “And—like you said—the Dark Lord wants ONLY the strongest.”

Now Gaetana faltered, her smile gone.  And with it, her casual attitude.  But before her thought could become action, I attacked.  Igniting my lightsaber, the blue blade threatened to impale the High Inquisitor.  But even distracted, Gaetana was a master.  Quick as thought, her orange blade sprang into existence, easily blocking my assault.  But, I’d anticipated that she would; having gone low, I was able to connect solidly with my elbow to her face.  Stunned, she retreated backwards.  Seeing the opening in her defenses, I fought furiously, utilizing Djem So.  Orange and blue blades crossed, many times coming close to their target but never connecting once…

…Until I noticed that despite the concerted attacks against her, Gaetana was smiling, and had been doing so almost the entire time.  Switching tactics, I shifted to Juyo, thinking of D’Aylanna’s training.  And I knew that I was good, very good.  My blue blade sliced through Gaetana’s sleeve, exposing the skin underneath.  But, still, she smiled.

Looking at the cut sleeve and seeing her arm undamaged, her stance…changed.  As I said: I was very good.  Gaetana was a master.  Faster than thought, she took the fight to me, attacks like lightning, yet precision unlike anything I’d ever seen.  She was even better than D’Aylanna.  It was all I could do to keep my defense between myself and Gaetana’s deadly blade.  Sweat began to pour onto my face.  Gaetana hadn’t even begun to perspire.  And still she came: her orange blade faster than any Kodashi viper.  Pressed, I clumsily switched to Soresu, trying with everything that I had left to keep Gaetana’s blade at bay.

But it was only a matter of time.  Blinding pain erupted along my arm where the High Inquisitor’s lightsaber cut effortlessly though my right-forearm below the wrist, my blue blade extinguished as it fell from my severed hand.  On her recovery, she swept her blade through my extended left leg, bisecting through the calf.  Falling, I hit the floor hard.  I saw the trauma of my amputated extremities and fought myself from going into shock.

Almost lazily, Gaetana closed down her lightsaber.  Her smile was still on her face.  “Well.  I am sorry to say that I hadn’t foreseen that.  But you should not have threatened me, Zearic.  Avvon WAS favored…but only by the smallest of margins.  And certainly not as a result of his saberwork, as evidenced by your victory over him.  Still, even a…HINT of impropriety can be fatal, even for a High Inquisitor.  The Dark Lord can be…changeable with his favorites.  It would do no good if I had a…former candidate try to denigrate my position, even before he was accepted into the Inquisitorious.”  Her eyes had a dangerous look, mirrored by the contortion of her mouth.  She ignited her saber and raised it above me.  Gaetana, High Inquisitor.  Executioner.  “Such a waste,” she intoned.

Before her orange blade fell, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.  Gaetana must have also seen it because she arced her lightsaber to intercept a green blade, locking both opponents for a moment.  Standing toe to toe with her, G’av barely came up to the High Inquisitor’s chin.  Gaetana’s smile slowly widened before separating from the blade lock.  Both opponents said nothing as they stared at one another.  And then it began.

G’av’s Ataru was unmatched, his form infallible.  Each of his strikes was faster than the last.  And each time, Gaetana deflected.  Both combatants circled one another, orange and green blades too fast to track; strike, parry, riposte.  Even if I wasn’t fighting my body’s efforts to go into shock, I would have been unable to follow the intense dual.

But Gaetana’s skill with the saber was better still: her attacks savagely beat at G’av’s diminishing defense, his saber swinging in tighter circles around him, coming near to striking himself.  The tall woman struck, feinted, and feinted again.  G’av responded accordingly…unfortunately creating an opening in his right flank.  It was miniscule; I doubt most saber practitioners would have noticed it.  Gaetana was not “most.”  Knocking G’av’s green lightsaber aside, her next cut arced upwards through G’av’s back.  The small koawan fell hard, unmoving on the ground.  Letting out a breath, Gaetana finally relaxed.

I used the pain to focus, fighting off the shock.  G’av.  Grief as bad as my physical pain hit me.  Jaim.  The loss threatened to overwhelm me.  Gaetana.  Rage, bordering on hate, begin to rise.  A thought, not even a plan, began to form.  Again, I must stall.  What was that name?  I focused on Gaetana.

“Looks like you’ll lose standing in front of your master, Ja’ce Yiaso.”

She slowed, turning her head slightly while her eyes narrowed.  “What do you know of the Grand Inquisitor?”

Grand Inquisitor?  Interesting.  “You all bicker like children to the most powerful member of your order and think that you’ll still be in good graces.”  Yes, Gaetana, come closer.

Walking sideways, Gaetana’s smile turned into a wry grin.  “‘Most powerful?’  The Grand Inquisitor IS powerful, but he’s not the ‘most.’”  She began to casually inspect her fingernails.  When she began speaking again, it was in an almost conversational tone.  “The most powerful Inquisitor of our Order is a man to be feared, almost as much as the Dark Lord himself.  In fact, he alone has been awarded the affectation ‘Darth,’ same as our Sith Lords.  The Emperor knows why he isn’t Grand Inquisitor, but Darth Rowahn could take the mantle from Grand Inquisitor Ja’ce Yiaso.”

Even half-listening, I made a mental note.  Darth Rowahn.  Feared even by a High Inquisitor.  And Gaetana had defeated me easily.  But, knowledge was power.  Not that it would matter.  Only another meter, Gaetana.

“Who knows?  Maybe, in time, you could have attained the power that Rowahn possesses.”  Her smile vanished.  “Instead, here you die.  But, don’t worry.  I shall take care of D’Aylanna myself.”  Then she smiled, a rictus grin full of teeth.  “Open your arms wide, Zearic.”  And as she swung a killing blow down on me, she stepped forward.

Just as the orange blade descended intent on cleaving my head, I brought up my left hand, catching the blade in my glove.  My cortosis glove.  Gaetana’s lightsaber immediately deactivated, pulling her off-balance.  Before she fell on top of me, I saw a look of pure astonishment fill her face.  Wrapping her in my arms, I reached out with the Force to the stanchions overhead.  Using ALL of my effort, strength, and willpower, I PULLED.

As the metal ceiling, framing and electrical all, came crashing down upon us, I whispered to Gaetana, “Open your arms wide.”

The last thing I saw was a five-meter length of ceiling collapse.

Then there was pain.  And, blessedly, darkness.
Logged

Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #61 on: October 25, 2017, 10:52:29 PM »

These last two chapters were awesome. An awesome twist and surprise. Intense fighting. Anger, hate, revenge, trickery. So much going on, but still making perfect sense. Like Karm said, the fight scenes are exceptionally written. Not to fast, not to slow, but really showing what it would be like in that kind of a battle. Barely holding your own against a superior swordsman (swordswoman in this case). All tying in to make a great narrative. Not to mention the Easter eggs to Karm and my own stories. Very well written, and you were right. I did like what you did with my character. Gives me something to think about as I continue writing. I think I also just figured out how to incorporate your world into mine (even more so). I'll have to figure out the details, but I have some ideas. Anyways, great job. Can't wait for more. I'm wondering though, what Zearic (and the Kage) will do with this new information about Rowahn. Wink
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #62 on: October 25, 2017, 11:38:26 PM »

These last two chapters were awesome. An awesome twist and surprise. Intense fighting. Anger, hate, revenge, trickery. So much going on, but still making perfect sense. Like Karm said, the fight scenes are exceptionally written. Not to fast, not to slow, but really showing what it would be like in that kind of a battle. Barely holding your own against a superior swordsman (swordswoman in this case). All tying in to make a great narrative. Not to mention the Easter eggs to Karm and my own stories. Very well written, and you were right. I did like what you did with my character. Gives me something to think about as I continue writing. I think I also just figured out how to incorporate your world into mine (even more so). I'll have to figure out the details, but I have some ideas. Anyways, great job. Can't wait for more. I'm wondering though, what Zearic (and the Kage) will do with this new information about Rowahn. Wink
Awesome TR!  Glad that you liked it   Cheesy  As far as Rowahn, heh, you kind of anticipated a future thought that I'd had (merely in the conception phase as of this moment but, GOOD catch my friend  Wink).  As far as details, PM me and I'll be MORE than happy to oblige  Smiley
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Lord_S_Gray
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #63 on: October 26, 2017, 12:38:57 AM »

Those are the best two chapters yet, unbelievable…the combat brutal, the deception crushing, the struggle against himself against Gaetana…and perfect timing too, as enjoyable as hearing about them following the trail of Gray Jedi was, more chapters like it would’ve started to feel too drawn out. Really brought the A game to both these Dutchman, exceptional work.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #64 on: October 26, 2017, 01:14:15 AM »

Those are the best two chapters yet, unbelievable…the combat brutal, the deception crushing, the struggle against himself against Gaetana…and perfect timing too, as enjoyable as hearing about them following the trail of Gray Jedi was, more chapters like it would’ve started to feel too drawn out. Really brought the A game to both these Dutchman, exceptional work.
*blush*
Much obliged my friend  Smiley
Coming from writers of your (Karm, LSG, TR) caliber, I am thrilled and honored  Cheesy
Logged

Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #65 on: October 26, 2017, 01:37:17 AM »

*blush*
Much obliged my friend  Smiley
Coming from writers of your (Karm, LSG, TR) caliber, I am thrilled and honored  Cheesy

Well if I'm a good writer, it is completely by accident as this is my first ever story. But thanks nonetheless. Wink
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Karmack
Forumverse Loremaster
Master of Ceremonies
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
************

Force Alignment: 1152
Posts: 5602


Light side points please.


« Reply #66 on: October 26, 2017, 02:14:26 AM »

Wow!  Awesome!  The glove!  I totally forgot about the glove!  Nicely done!

Poor Teagin, though!  I thought I had beat up Karmack pretty bad, but that's just brutal.  Definitely going to leave a mark.  ;-)

And I love the fact that your evil, arrogant bad guy just CANNOT help but monologue.  They always do that!  I love it!

This is quality work. Great writing, my friend.  This is a great story.  I know you're wrapping up now, coming to the end, but I look forward even to that.
I mean, if you don't end it, you can't write the next one, right?  ;-)

ONWARD! 
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signature picture by DarthScrub

Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #67 on: October 27, 2017, 06:14:59 PM »

“It was only when I awoke from the third bacta treatment that I was told what happened afterwards.”  I paused, looking at each assembly member.  “Jaim regained consciousness  just in time to see the ceiling crash down.  While he was in considerable pain, his injuries weren’t as serious as I’d feared.  Jaim grabbed G’av and took him back to our ship.  After he’d set up G’av on the bacta table, he returned to see if there was anything that he could do for me.  After inspecting the wreckage, Jaim was able to detect my beating heart.  Carefully extricating me using both his hands and the Force, he dragged me back to our freighter, set course for the nearest Grey Healer after Prakith, and placed me on the other bacta table.  Jaim ended up doing triage on himself and then entered a Healing Trance.  Once he landed at the Grey Healer’s manse, we were there a week.  I’d been lucky: Gaetana had taken the brunt of the ceiling crashing down upon us; I imagine it’s the only reason that I’m alive…” My eyes teared up.  “G’av…succumbed to his injuries en route to the Healer.”  Comporting myself, I continued.  “Once it was safe enough, Jaim piloted us back to Zenoma Sekot.  Between bacta treatments, I was surgically grafted with a cybernetic leg, but my arm…” I held up my right arm, showing the stump ending below where my wrist would have been.

The Kage’s orange eyes looked inquisitive.  “And what of Gaetana?  Did Jaim find her body?”

My stomach tightened.  “No, Kage.  Of Gaetana, only a trail of blood remained.  But the High Inquisitor was not found.”  And regardless of the blood, I was sure that Gaetana had survived.

A silence fell in the Dome.  Listian, the Arbiter, stood and looked at the Kage.  Her face remained impassive.  But when she spoke, her voice held the full authority of her position.  “Koawan Zearic.  You stand before the Council of Balance, the Arbiter, and your Kage.  Are you prepared for judgment?”  

That last wasn’t proper form.  Curious now, my brow furrowed.  “Yes, Kage.”  There was really nothing else to say.

“Koawan Zearic.  You disobeyed a direct command from Maenowan D’Aylanna and, indirectly, the Council.  For that, you shall be sanctioned.”  That was…not unexpected, if somewhat odd.  So I was to be restricted, planet-bound?  Before I could finish my ruminations, the Kage continued.  “However, as a direct result of your actions, the Gray Jedi know of Gaetana’s duplicity and can counteract to thwart her.  Furthermore, you personally saved Teidowan Jorya Fah.  Without your exploits, she would have perished under COMPNOR interrogation.”  Now I was truly perplexed; where was this leading?  The Kage continued.  “Koawan are given freedom absent masters for a reason.  As such, they are entrusted to utilize their own prerogative; they are not automatons.”  Orange eyes looked directly into my hazel eyes.  “A failing in the Jedi Order is a preponderance of Knights—even Masters—that know only to obey.  We Gray Jedi encourage our Knights to THINK.  To ACT.  In this, Koawan Zearic, you have acted true to spirit.  Consequently, it is for these reasons that I, Kage Oyuna Chan’dn, confer upon you the title and station of Silver Knight.”

Stunned, I stood silent.  I shook my head.  “Kage, I am not worthy of promotion.  I refuse.  G’av’s death is my fau—”

“SILENCE.”  The Kage’s voice didn’t change; her entire demeanor transformed.  “Koawan G’av gave his life in exchange for Koawan Jaim’s…and for yours.  You will not diminish his sacrifice by absconding accountability away from him.  Just as you claim ownership of your actions, so too are Koawan G’av’s actions his own.”  Her eyes softened, as did her bearing.  “Zearic, we all mourn the loss of our brother.  But we must also realize that his deeds saved both yourself as well as Jaim.  Let such grief act as homage to G’av’s character…and, if you must insist on punishment, then also as a stark reminder of the ramifications of your actions; that is, ACTIONS WITHOUT PROPER CONSIDERATION.”  At this, the Kage assumed the mantle of her position, again adhering to the forms.  “I, Kage Oyuna Chan’dn, recognize Silver Knight Koawan Zearic Vih-Torr and, by my authority, appoint unto his custody as padawan, Teidowan Jorya Fah in apprenticeship.”

I had not noticed, until now, that the assemblage had parted, creating a path which led to the inner sanctum.  A place all Gray Jedi knew well; it was a room for introspection and preparation.  When a padawan was assigned a master, they adopted the title of “teidowan” and were formally recognized.  Walking deliberately, a lone hooded figure garbed in white robes approached, stopping beside me.  Looking at the Kage and removing her hood, I saw Jorya’s face cast a sideways smile towards me.  I was so happy to see that she was recovered, her lekku having been cybernetically restored, that I heard none of her words.  It was only due to rote, that I was able to provide the formal responses.

Finally, the Kage performed the closing ceremony, calling upon Listian, the Arbiter, to write into the Book of Balance Jorya’s apprenticeship to me.  The forms observed, the assemblage was then dismissed.  D’Aylanna and Jaim joined Jorya and I in the center, patiently waiting while I thanked the Council.  Gathered together, I hugged my family to me, if awkwardly without my right hand.  After some time, I stepped back intent on talking to them all in turn; but unbeknownst to me, the Kage had approached.  

D’Aylanna motioned behind me and stepped back, pulling Jaim and Jorya with her, leaving me alone in the center of the Dome with the Kage.  “Yes, Kage?”

“Let us dispense with etiquette.  Zearic.”  The Kage showed one of her rare smiles.

Looking down at her face, I grinned.  “I understand.  Oyuna.”

She nodded almost imperceptibly.  “Zearic, I know you blame yourself.  Do not.  Without your efforts, the Gray Jedi of the Vhal’Dan Order would be imperiled due to Gaetana’s machinations.  As such, Zenoma Sekot shall relocate.  We are secure.”  Again she smiled.  And then, shockingly, she laid her hand on my arm, holding the stump of my amputated hand.  “Obligation is not a yoke easily divested of.  Let this—” she nodded to my arm, “—act as reminder of the consequences of your actions…and G’av’s sacrifice.  But do not forget the convictions that led you to these outcomes.”  

The Kage released my arm and turned to move away.  “Oyuna.” I called after her.  “What of the two datadumps that G’av performed, at Kuat and Byss?”

The Kage’s face adopted a look I’d never seen her wear: apprehension.  “The amount of information that G’av downloaded from Kuat was… colossal.  It will literally take years to decipher the data.”  Her face turned downward, looking pained.  “Unfortunately, the datadump from Byss was…corrupted.”  The Kage’s eyes met mine, sympathetic.  “When Gaetana killed G’av, her saber cut into the datapad, destroying much of the data transfer.”

Closing my eyes, I fought hard to hold back the tears.  All for nothing.  No; no, I forced myself to repeat, to HEAR, the Kage’s words: remember.  But then I focused on what Oyuna had just told me. “‘Much?’”

The Kage nodded, approval evident on her face.  “Yes.  We were able to glean a few phrases and equations from the data.”  She looked at me intently.  “Zearic, have you ever heard of ‘Project Stardust?’”

Shaking my head I answered, “No.”  Feeling exasperated, I added, “Was that absolutely everything?”  The last came out almost pleadingly.

Compassionately, the Kage reassured me, “We’ll continue to do everything we can, Zearic.  But it will take time.”  She nodded to me and departed.

Again, grief threatened to overcome me.  But then, I felt D’Aylanna’s arm around my waist; Jaim’s left hand clasping mine; Jorya’s hand soothing my right forearm.  My family.  I closed my eyes, smiled, and cried.

I thought of G’av.  And remembered.

*****************************************************************************************************************
THE END
Logged

Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
Forumverse Loremaster
Master of Ceremonies
SaberForum.Com Moderator
Knight Commander
************

Force Alignment: 1152
Posts: 5602


Light side points please.


« Reply #68 on: October 27, 2017, 07:46:36 PM »

And well ended.  :-)  I like the Rouge One tie-in.  Nicely done.  :-)

So, your order is THE Gray Jedi order on Zenoma Sekot!  Somehow I missed that along the way.  I like it! 
I was pretty sure G'av was not going to survive.  We'd seen Jaim in the opening scene, but I really didn't want to assume.  Well done with that one!  Its very hard to craft a good character like G'av and then kill him.  I don't know about you but I always feel a little guilty when I do that.  Survivor's guilt I guess.   But then my wife always tells me I identify to closely to my characters anyway, so maybe that's the problem. :-)

At any rate, well done!  I am looking forward to the next adventure!  :-)

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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 1106
Posts: 4131


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #69 on: October 27, 2017, 08:15:08 PM »

And well ended.  :-)  I like the Rouge One tie-in.  Nicely done.  :-)

So, your order is THE Gray Jedi order on Zenoma Sekot!  Somehow I missed that along the way.  I like it! 
I was pretty sure G'av was not going to survive.  We'd seen Jaim in the opening scene, but I really didn't want to assume.  Well done with that one!  Its very hard to craft a good character like G'av and then kill him.  I don't know about you but I always feel a little guilty when I do that.  Survivor's guilt I guess.   But then my wife always tells me I identify to closely to my characters anyway, so maybe that's the problem. :-)

At any rate, well done!  I am looking forward to the next adventure!  :-)


Glad you caught that easter egg Karm  Cheesy  I also left a few more threads that I can incorporate in future stories  Wink

Yeah, when I began, I'd originally intended for G'av to die.  But then, especially as I continued to write, I vacillated between him being in a coma...and back to sacrificial hero.  So I can DEFINITELY empathize, Karm; I DO feel guilty but once I'd written the last installment, I knew for Zearic's character arc to progress, it would require an event like G'av's death to galvanize him.  Thanks so much Karm, from encouragement to continually reading  Wink

BUT, as you say: onward to the next adventure!
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
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« Reply #70 on: October 27, 2017, 08:44:51 PM »

I hate endings. But the one thing I can say, is at least there will be a next adventure. Grin And I have a feeling this one's gonna be good. I'd been seeing the hints the the Death Star throughout the story, but then with "Project Stardust", you really did it. I feel sad about G'av dying, because he was one of my favorites. Especially once he started fighting Gaetana, and using Ataru (seeing as that is my favorite fighting style). I was also wavering between whether G'av would die or not. I feel like I could sense it through your writing. I'm glad you did it though, as well as did not replace Zearic's hand. And the reason why is because with something like that, the possibility of surviving that type of thing is not high. And leaving Zearic's hand off as a reminder to what happened was a great idea.

Until the next story. Grin
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
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« Reply #71 on: October 28, 2017, 04:41:59 AM »

I hate endings. But the one thing I can say, is at least there will be a next adventure. Grin And I have a feeling this one's gonna be good. I'd been seeing the hints the the Death Star throughout the story, but then with "Project Stardust", you really did it. I feel sad about G'av dying, because he was one of my favorites. Especially once he started fighting Gaetana, and using Ataru (seeing as that is my favorite fighting style). I was also wavering between whether G'av would die or not. I feel like I could sense it through your writing. I'm glad you did it though, as well as did not replace Zearic's hand. And the reason why is because with something like that, the possibility of surviving that type of thing is not high. And leaving Zearic's hand off as a reminder to what happened was a great idea.

Until the next story. Grin
Thanks buddy!  Yeah I had a hard time deciding if G'av was dead or not...but I wanted a bit of realism AND what I have in mind for Zearic's trajectory is a direct result of G'av's death.  Same thing with the hand (GREAT catch!): part of adversity is the it motivates growth and (hopefully) progress  Wink
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #72 on: October 28, 2017, 04:43:15 AM »

Thanks buddy!  Yeah I had a hard time deciding if G'av was dead or not...but I wanted a bit of realism AND what I have in mind for Zearic's trajectory is a direct result of G'av's death.  Same thing with the hand (GREAT catch!): part of adversity is the it motivates growth and (hopefully) progress  Wink

We will see where it leads him, and if he has to change how he thinks and fights now that he has only one had to wield a saber with.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
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« Reply #73 on: October 28, 2017, 01:54:06 PM »

We will see where it leads him, and if he has to change how he thinks and fights now that he has only one had to wield a saber with.
Most definitely^^  Zearic will work at training with his left hand exclusively to help break him of the habit to use power ONLY; instead this will teach him precision.  That's one of the reasons Oyuna had him sanctioned to Sekot  Wink

It's only when(or IF) he learns this that he'll get the cybernetic right hand  Wink

...And he'll need ALL his training to survive in future encounters, especially against powerful opponents  Grin
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #74 on: October 28, 2017, 07:40:43 PM »

Most definitely^^  Zearic will work at training with his left hand exclusively to help break him of the habit to use power ONLY; instead this will teach him precision.  That's one of the reasons Oyuna had him sanctioned to Sekot  Wink

It's only when(or IF) he learns this that he'll get the cybernetic right hand  Wink

...And he'll need ALL his training to survive in future encounters, especially against powerful opponents  Grin


Ooh, that sounds mysterious... Wink
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

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