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Author Topic: Children of the Aether  (Read 28786 times)
Karmack
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« Reply #90 on: November 02, 2017, 01:51:45 PM »

The Jedi had some strange rules around intimate relationships, they were hermit like, restricted in their view of the force as much as their interactions with the world.  To protect them from the ‘dark side’.

“Nonsense,” Andis commented from somewhere…all around him

Yoda had been assisting in ‘guiding him to the path of the Light’, Sofa’s memories had assisted him in that.  His grandfather would never have tolerated such pontificating on morality and philosophy, the aether was just the aether…a word he hadn’t spoken in a while.  That saddened him.


I think you encapsulated the view of the Aetherian's right here.  Valens isn't trying to become a Jedi, he's learning about them and learning from them ... but not accepting their core beliefs.  I love the way you're building this.  I don't know if I can or would agree with Valen's ethics, particularly since his memory extraction method appears to put his targets (victims?) into a deep and nearly permanent coma.  So far one Jedi Master has pulled one Jedi out of it ... with great difficulty.  The native power of the Aethens though is amazing!  Far beyond what most Jedi possess.  This is more like what Anakin in his "raw" form might have been capable of...

...Anakin...

Hmm....

Ahem.  Anyway.  Sorry, mental side-track...

Another thing that struck me about Valen's view: it is consistent with tribal peoples on a very basic level - We are People.  Everyone else (not of the tribe) are ... less than People.  One thing I learned many years ago that interested me was that nearly every Native American tribe's name meant "The People" in their native language.  If you were part of the The People you were treated with respect and consideration.  If you were not...  Now, they didn't generally restrict membership in "The People" to blood ties, you could be adopted in, but you still had to become a part of The People to gain the rights of those People.  Others could be treated as you wished with little regard. 

Valens seems to be taking a very similar view.  He's out to preserve his People.  Everyone else is just a tool to use to that end.  And since you've paired him with Yoda, I'm starting to feel a tension build.  I know Yoda will survive whatever comes, because he's Canon.  He HAS to.  LOL    But right now I cannot see this resolving without conflict between them.  And since they're BOTH very powerful (I suspect Valens may be underestimating Yoda's strength because of the perceived limitations of his philosophy) that conflict could be very interesting indeed.

At any rate...  Excellent entry!  I am SOOO looking forward to the next installments!  :-)

Karmack
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #91 on: November 02, 2017, 10:02:58 PM »


I think you encapsulated the view of the Aetherian's right here.  Valens isn't trying to become a Jedi, he's learning about them and learning from them ... but not accepting their core beliefs.  I love the way you're building this.  I don't know if I can or would agree with Valen's ethics, particularly since his memory extraction method appears to put his targets (victims?) into a deep and nearly permanent coma.  So far one Jedi Master has pulled one Jedi out of it ... with great difficulty.  The native power of the Aethens though is amazing!  Far beyond what most Jedi possess.  This is more like what Anakin in his "raw" form might have been capable of...


Karmack you are spot on about….pretty much everything.  No other way to say it ,the example of the Native Americans people concept is exactly what I had in mind, there are Aethans and there are objects.  I’m stoked that I’ve been able to get those concepts and personalities, and the way they clash, the moral ambiguities of Valens actions in particular (hero of his people?), across in my story exactly the way I wanted to!  There is just one piece you're missing from the puzzle that will be coming in the final chapters (planning to release  part 5 all at once next week sometime). till then.....



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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #92 on: November 02, 2017, 10:08:57 PM »

Interlude
[/b]

As this has been a long story, some little hints earlier on about something important might have been forgotten, so I would recommend having a look over Andis first chapter, Shilea’s first chapter for her vision toward the end, the Lyssia interlude for her vision, and Melrons chapter to refresh on some threads about the Aethans that will be important at the end…some Mysteries from the start will be revealed others…This should at least solve the mystery of something from the vey start of the story...partially!

PS I do have other interludes to add to Dutchmans excellent Interlude specific thread in the future, this particular one is specific for building up to the end of this series though so wanted to keep it together.


NOTE This occurs immediately after Part 1 Chapter 2 – Valens
[/b][/size]

The sensations were overwhelming, he couldn’t still himself, and perhaps he didn’t want to.  In the centre of the perfect flat top of the stone was a single blemish, an indented crystal as big as his thumb, the sounds grew louder as he stared at it, the emotions flooded the aether and mingled with his, the line between himself and the visions blurred.  He didn’t know what would happen to him if he touched it, it was sickening in its darkness, the only clear thought was the choice - to touch and know, to turn and wonder.  Indecision was his weakness.

He made his choice….

.He grasped the altar

Everything stopped.  

Light, sound, emotion, the aether itself.

His mind, or his perception of his mind was all there was, was that anything.  

Gradually his body was there, then the altar, then Her.  

He knew Her, knew her so well it was as if he looked through her back onto himself.  

Yet she was so far away on the other side of the altar, why wasn’t he with her? Or she with him.  

Her white, refined features bordered by flowing long hair, an elegant feminine body were suffused by a gentle red glow.  She spoke, no she thought meaning into his mind.

Here, return, life, remember

He almost spoke, but such a form of communication seemed like an insult to her, he thought back to her,

Who, why, love, desire


The last thoughts seemed to slip out, unfiltered from his very soul  

Remember, Remember, Remember
She pleaded, he knew her, but he couldn’t…it was right there, just at the edge of his consciousness…

Remember, Remember, Love, Remember
[/size]

It came slowly, like a glacier advancing, aeons passed but the movement was unstoppable.  

His past, his true past, his true life, before this, disruption…his knowledge, his feelings, they had always been there, he had always been himself, Valens…no not quite..Valas..Valan…

Valance

Her voice echoed through to the edges of a universe that encompassed only them.

Yes that was his true name, he knew now, he had returned, his mind, his memories, his power intact, no not just intact enhanced beyond imagination, beyond all their hopes.

How, Why,
[/size]

He called out to her!

But her face shifted, the red darkened,

Free Me,

Her tone, her essence her was firm uncompromising

Free Me

More insistent, with a sharp edge of desperation.

The world crackled with red lightning, she grew and burned in black fire as she screamed with a voice that was sound, light, aether…existence itself.

FREE ME, FREE ME, FREE ME

**************************************************************************************
He awoke lying on the altar, his hand closed around the crystal, the skin of his palm cut from gripping it too tightly.

He was shaking, his body flooded with stress hormones.  He tried to shake it off, but it was difficult.  Memories of lives once lived slowly trickled into his mind, it could take month. years perhaps to fully recover them all.  

But as he rose even the knowledge he could grasp slipped back from his conscious mind…but it would remain, working its way out slowly, quietly, in him over time.

He replaced the crystal then levitated to the centre of the pool and stared up at the chasm, the aether flowed strongly from the altar helping him recover, its warm darkness seeping into him.  

He flew back up the shaft to return to his grandfather, his brother, and in a few months his new bride and family…..
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Taegin Roan
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« Reply #93 on: November 03, 2017, 07:22:48 AM »

I am intrigued. Who is this person he is supposed to free? And what will happen when everything comes back to him? I feel there is still more to this story, and I hope that you plan to answer it soon. But if not, then at least before the book is over. Anyways, great job. I didn't get a chance to reply to the last one, but that also was amazing. I also thought of the "People" thing, but I'd have had no way to put it into words, so thanks Karm for doing that for me. Wonderfully written both of these, and I can't wait for more.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
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« Reply #94 on: November 03, 2017, 11:37:33 AM »

Congratulations to Karm!  As TR stated, his articulation of the "People" dynamic is perfect!  But that's also testament to your writing LSG.  "There are Aethans and there are enemies" seems to be the maxim, at least with our characters (not that I blame them: abducted, absconded, and abused; yes, the parallels are telling).

LSG, you're a prolific writer; like you said: I have to go back, reread to fully appreciate the nuanced storytelling you've conceived!  My writing is episodic; your's is EPIC!  That's why I appreciate the feedback I get from you guys: you've all made such incredible narratives, I enjoy learning to progress and improve.

And thanks for the "heads up," now I can go to the necessary chapters and fill in (a little) of the mystery you've hooked us with  Smiley

On a completely serious note, have you thought about publication for this incredible story?  As I have said before, it's better than most of the published SW books I've read!  Just a thought, my friend   Wink

Until next installment friends  Smiley
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Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #95 on: November 06, 2017, 09:43:04 PM »

LSG, that was a great post!  Its enigmatic and mysterious and I am SURE it will make sense once we get more from Part 5, but right now?  LOL

AS for who needs to be freed....  I'm thinking its the crystal itself...  But I'm biased.  :-)

Looking forward to more! 
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #96 on: November 06, 2017, 10:22:12 PM »

Thanks for everyone who has had a read of my story, it’s been fun to write, I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Especially thankful to (in no particular order apart from Gray…) Dutchman, Karmack and Taegin for your comments and support, keeps me inspired to keep writing, and the stories you guys are producing yourselves have given me new ideas and set a high standard that pushes me to improve.

Below is the final Part with all chapters in one hit so you can read the full course of events in one sitting if you like.

- - Part 5 Chapter 1 - -
[/b][/b]


Jarys
[/b]
When he arrived back at the Falleens mansion after hiring a ride with a full stolen purse as payment, the captain of the guards was calling frantically for information on his commlink.  He had looked confused as Jarys walked up the steps toward him - he had looked terrified when he had blown through the transparent doors with the aether.  He had looked like a scared child when Jarys had taken his head.

He went through the mansion finishing off the Falleens remaining guards and unlocking the rest of the slaves.  There were far more than he had imagined, all species all genders, all with the same downcast look of having been inured to Xixze’s depredations so thoroughly they had no idea what to do when freed.

He had found Tiiko, a short orange thing, his eyes huge due to strange magnifying glasses, his bulbous head had a number of ugly looking scars and small slivers of metal, mechanical devises implanted and removed in a rough, non-consensual way.

The slaves looted the place before scurrying off into the darkness.  The news holo was filled with the Beast of the Arena slaughtering over six hundred, and a sickeningly false eulogy of Myzm the Hutt by his brother Mrma, who wept at the loss of his beautiful generous brother.

The silver haired girl he had…been with…left with a male twi’lek hand in hand. She hadn’t said anything as she left, just looked at him sadly and nodded.  He hoped it was of forgiveness.  Her name he learned from Tiiko was Mayghan…he had never asked her himself.

“We go now, all others go, we go we go we go!” Tiiko screeched, his back overloaded with sacks full of what looked like decrepit machines and a few bits of plunder.  Jarys sat staring at the corpses of the guard he had piled up, go where he wanted to ask.

As if in answer Tiiko went on, “We hide, many dark hole to hide, many many, wait, wait, wait, Tiiiko find way off world, we sell trinkets, go, go home,” his eyes glistened with childlike exuberance, “Home!”.  

Home…he had no idea where his home was in the galaxy…and what was there to go back to for him…a dying world now finally dead…
No…he had survived perhaps they had too.  He stood up and threw a heavy robe around him, he would find what others he could, he was still a Guardian.

He had forgotten that for too long.  

“Let’s go”
*****************************************************************************************************
It had taken less than an hour in the under levels of Nar Shadda for Jarys to realise why Tiiko had stayed with him.  A bunch of wheezing Gan thugs had tried to rob them barely a few klicks into the black streets where the sun never reached and the stench never died.  

Jarys, armed with weapons and equipment from Xixzes’ armoury had dispatched them easily enough, but before they reached the ‘safety’ of a bar they had been set upon twice more.

They sold some of their loot for just over 12,000 credits, enough to get off world, but they needed to lay low first, as Tiiko explained half of Nar Shadda wanted Jarys dead, the other half wanted to “make big kissing and licking, lots of lots of hate brown slug thing, lots of lots of kissing kill-man-beast!”

The bar had a few floors of rooms, little better than the first cage Jarys had been put in when first captured, to hide out in.  Tiiko spent most his time tinkering with his various machines, Jarys tried to learn from him but Tiiko…Tiiko was Tiiko, frantic, obsessive and deranged even for an alien.  He wished he was better at memory absorption.

Jarys turned his thoughts to finding other Aethans.  At first he had tried to sense them, but the aether here was so confusing, so turbulent it was impossible.  He had used the holonet to try and look up slaver stores to find records of sales but had little success, he didn’t understand how things worked here.

After two weeks of boredom and horrid food he had to get out, robed and masked he stalked along the streets and lifts to the mid-levels.  The sheer number of beings astounded him, he could hardly believe that he hadn’t known about it all that time on Aethas, how could such a huge city be kept secret…only by the vastness of space.

It angered him, why would such a vast civilization, with such technology and buildings go out of their way to enslave and destroy his people.  He hated them all.  As many as he had killed in the arena, he wished he had killed more.  

He stalked through the slave markets, species of all kinds in chains, behind transparent windows, some raging, some depressed, he imagined Cilina, Shilea or Valens in one of those cages and could barely keep from tearing up.  The sight of the buyers, dressed in fine clothes, some in mining outfits, others little better than the slaves themselves, stoked his rage further.

The trade was winding down for the day when he approached a floating blue thing, Toydarian they called these aliens, who oversaw one of the larger stores.

“Hey, What you looking for, buy or sell,” came the ugly accented voice

It rankled him to speak to such filth, “Just inquiring,”

“Inquire, fine inquire quick,”

“I’m looking for Aethans, have any come through recently,”

The Toydarian looked at him blankly, “What’s an Aethans,”  Jarys realised none of the slavers knew the name of the peoples they had terrorized…they didn’t care,  

“People who use the aeth…the …what is it, Power, Focus…Force the force,”

The Toydarian didn’t look very interested, he was now typing things on his datapad, he obviously thought Jarys was some kind of idiot. “Force sensitive, no not for long time, can get, Gotal, Ikotchi,” he replied absently engrossed in his data pad.

“No human, human force sensitive,”

“Human…human rare…, some ages ago, all sell, hah,” he chuckled, “Yeah almost a year ago, bunch sold by that dead Hutt, big problems though, lots of em crazy, killing other slaves, masters and themselves, had to be put down some.  Some say they even burst into flames some times, but I don’t believe ‘em. Eh Just a bad batch,”

Jarys tried to control his anger but it was building, he could feel it seeping out of his pores, “Do you know where they were sold,”

“Eh upper tiers, Myzm old place, hey you don’t look so good,”

That was enough information, he lightly held some of the creature’s organs in the aether and walked away.  As he turned down a street he noticed a strange snouted creature, a Rodian, watching him.  Another damn mugger he thought, but it didn’t follow him.  A few levels down just before he lost the stream in the ocean of the aether he squeezed the organs till they popped.

Somewhere in the slave markets above the Toydarian had just dropped dead in an oozing stinking mess of his own fluids.

******************************************************************************************************

As soon as he entered the bar he knew something was up, it was too quiet, the aethers waters were tense, the waves of emotion controlled but trembling.  

There were eight others, the owner, two Rodians, a Twi’lek, three burly Chagrain, and a hooded humanoid in the corner.  

By instinct he rippled his concentration through the aether to lock each of them as a target, ready to inundate them with crushing telekinetic blows should he be able to match them in normal combat.

He proceeded with measured steps to the turbo lift to his room, halfway there the fight began.  He spun and lurched back to dodge the missile, green bolts whose heat he could feel as they passed. The aether brought his pistol to his hand, guiding his arm as he dived to the ground loosing a bolt that hit a Rodians shoulder.

Dull thumps echoed and electro nets flew toward him expanding out in crackling arcs, they wanted to keep him in a small a space as possible, rolling under a round table he fired at the legs you could see scoring one hit.  

The nets landed either side, he had a wall and tables 5 metres behind him and the rest of the bar in front.  He should’ve dropped back.  He charged forward rising and firing, he hit the second rodian between the eyes, the Chagrain behind an upturned table fired more green bolts and he made hi way toward them twisting to avoidthe blasts.  

A hiss signalled a rocket from the side, the Twi’lek, without looking he used the aether to twist its course toward the Chagrain, he was about to mentally crush the twi’lek when its aura vanished…the Humanoid had shot it.

The Chagrain dived out of cover to avoid the missile.  The explosion was small but enough to catch one in the leg, two rolled to the left, the other to the right.  Jarys came up before the one on the right and landed a heavy kick into his face smashing bone.  He pivoted toward the others and saw red bolts from the humanoid hit one of them as Jarys dodged a bolt and shot the other.

Only the Rodain he had hit in the shoulder remained alive.  The cloaked humanoid was over him, blaster pointed down, without any fanfare he fired.

“Slaver scum,” came a gruff voice.

Jarys had his blaster trained on him, and the aether primed to rip him to pieces.  He threw back his hood revealing heavily scarred bald human face.

“Well met brother” he said, Jarys couldn’t sense any malice or ill intent, but remained wary, he increased the distance between them.

“I’m not your brother,” he replied curtly,

The humanoid chuckled,

“Anyone who was a slave, is a slave, or kills slavers is brother to me and all the Sons of Kessel,”

He hit the cooler on his blaster, flicking it open and making it inoperable as a weapon till he reset it, Jarys could sense he was trying to build trust and calm.

“One of our men noticed you in the market,” the Rodian there Jarys thought, “You’re a famous man, a strong warrior, the Sons would be happy to help you out,”

“And what would these Sons want in return?”

“Free slaves and kill slavers, that’s all we do and all we ask.” He stretched out his hand  “So how bout it ”
If he was to find what remained of his people…this was his best chance…
He took his hand, “Let’s get out of here,” he said
******************************************************************************************************----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #97 on: November 06, 2017, 10:22:54 PM »

Part 5 - Chapter 2
Yoda

“This is not acceptable…You had no right entering Hutt Space!” Kimars fury came across the hologram vibrantly

“More Jedi to die before finding out who was responsible were there?” Yoda replied irritated

“That is not the point, we cannot risk upsetting the Hutts they…”

“Beholden to the Hutts are we now, the Republic and our fellow Jedi I thought we served!” Yoda was tired of tiptoeing around the crime lords, and even more tired of the Republic and Jedi like Kimar who turned a blind eye to their activities.  

“Your…information has proven….useful, but we do not approve you going to Nar Shadda in pursuit of this ‘Quarren’…The council will prepare a formal request to the Hutt…”

“Request the Hutts to deliver a wealthy thief to us, doubtless comply they shall, such good citizens of the Republic they are,” Yoda was surprised at his own sarcasm. Yoda was well aware of the need to plan a co-ordinated response to these attacks, that was why he had contacted the council, but to avoid acting now would only put more Jedi at risk.

“And what would you suggest instead Master Yoda,” Kimar oozed annoyance

“To Nar Shadda I will proceed, investigate this Quarren then report, with other Jedi determine a method of reclaiming the Artefacts we shall,”

If the Quarren was willing to hire Mandolorians to steal off Jedi he would not part with the items peacefully. Yoda knew Kimar realized this, as much as Kimar did not want to antagonize the Hutts, he knew it was too dangerous to allow anyone possession of some of those objects, and even more dangerous to let such blatant attacks on Jedi pass without a firm response.

“Very well, but you are not to engage this Quarren directly in any way, be as discrete as possible,” Kimar paused, “I will dispatch a task force to assist,” to make sure Yoda toed the line more like, “Soryu and a few others perhaps.  Any other matters?” he asked uninterested,

“Good progress my apprentice is making,” Yoda knew Kimar disliked Valens, but couldn’t resist the stab.

Kimar sneered, “May the Force be with you Master Yoda,”

“And You Master Kimar,” the connection terminated.

******************************************************************************************************
It was difficult to find a disguise that fitted properly, even amongst the polyglot crowd of Nar Shadda docks.  The best they could manage was an Urganaughts jump suit cut to size and smeared with even more grease than they had found on it.  Valens wore the Mandolorian armour they had taken on Klatooine, with his hair messed up and some ash on his cheeks he looked convincingly the part of a young Mandolorian mercenary.  He certainly acted it very well and had a surprising command of Mando’a for only studying it for three days.  

Valens never ceased to amaze with the rapidity with which he learned things, Jedi force techniques, lightsabre combat, piloting, slicing, ship repairs and now Mandolorian language and customs.  It seemed unnatural in a way, there was something to it Yoda couldn’t quite work out…something that unnerved him.  Perhaps a Guardian force technique.

Yoda stayed in the corner with a fluoro blue drink that smelled more than a little acidic while Valens spoke to some Mandolorians in black and yellow armour across the bar.

Collecting information on Nar Shadda was difficult, one couldn’t simply walk around asking ‘have you worked for the Quarren, know where to find him’ you had to build a rapport, skirt around general issues like delays on different runs, complaining over bad contracts, and pick up titbits along the way.  

So far he had discovered only that the Quarren was known by no other name, lived in a mansion outside Nar Shadda proper had an interest in the occult, money to burn and did deals with the Hutts.  It wasn’t much to go on.

He heard Valens laugh out loud, it was an odd sound to hear from his usually taciturn student.  Yoda reflected on that word, he was understanding, more than with any other apprentice he had had what the saying ‘to be able to teach one must be willing to learn’ meant.  The difference in having a student trained in another tradition he felt would only make him a better teacher in the future.  Valens pointed in Yodas direction, the Mandos chuckled at something then waved goodbye.

Valens dropped heavily into the seat beside him,

“Anything of interest discovered have you,”  Valens slapped him lightly on the back and burrowed heads, not just to overcome the noise of the crowd but to keep up the appearance of a rough and ready Mandolorian out on the town.

“Confirmed it was Hunik, a Hutt who was killed recently acted as a go between, this Quarren isn’t a crime lord, what you learned seems consistent with the story I’m getting about him.” He looked around then drew in closer,

“Hunik is here on Nar Shadda, doing some other work on the upper tiers… “Schoomzing at Ylorens” but apparently he was raging drunk last night when he found out about Klatooine, feels like this Quarren has brought the Jedi down upon him,”

“hrrmmm…” Yoda thought, “perhaps from this Quarren he will seek compensation,”

Valens nodded,

“Find this Ylorens we will, track him, see if this Quarren he visits,”

******************************************************************************************************
Yorlens was an upper tier restaurant full of what passed as high society on Nar Shadda, mostly Hutts and a conglomerate of other characters that Yoda had no doubt was also a who’s who of the Republics list of Corrupt business men that companies should avoid doing deals with.  

There was no way to get in such a place, but they didn’t need to, Yoda looked down from his idling rented hover car through the tall glass windows.  Below Valens in a black jump suit was stalking along the parked speeders and pleasure skiffs on an open landing pad.  He came out from behind them and round beside a valet. The valet turned startled but soon settled down, they started chatting.  

Yoda had no doubt he was using force persuasion on Valens, but one thing he had noticed was unlike most force users Valens never used his hand or gestures when using the force.  It often helped provided a physical focus for Jedi, but it seemed absent in him, perhaps due to his peoples innate connection to the force.

After a few moments Valens slunk away and the Valet drooped as if half asleep.  He proceeded along the transports.  Then Yoda noticed them, three black figures loping up onto the platform from beneath…he reached out in the force and sensed greed, desire, desperation…thieves.  They stalked quickly and with intent –experienced thieves, directly toward where Valens was heading.

He hoped they were not heading to the same vehicle.  Yoda flashed a warning in the force toward Valens….there was little more he could do, suddenly dropping onto the platform would give them away…he needed to trust his apprentice.

The three dark shapes stopped, each beside a different vehicle, the middle one started working on it, the other two were look outs.  Valens paused, he was looking at the nearest lookout who stood behind the most boxy utilitarian vehicle there….Yoda should’ve guessed that would be the Mandolorians by the simple look of it.

Valens edged closer, Yoda wasn’t sure he could do it…perhaps if he waited…but if the thieves set off an alarm…

What happened next shocked Yoda Valens stood taller and went straight toward the lookout who promptly pulled a blaster, Valens had his hands in the air and started to mouth words.  The other thieves looked at him.  Yoda felt the entire operation on a knifes edge.

Then the lookout nodded, Valens approached and the two of them set to work on the boxy transport.  The finished placing their equipment, a tracker for Valens, a tracker and a control override for the thieves then went their separate ways

When they met up Yoda asked, “How with those thieves did you deal,”

Valens shrugged, “on Aethas they say gormins always lick gormins…say you’re a thief and a thief will help you out…with a little help from the force.

Yoda nodded, he knew Jedi knights who wouldn’t do as well as that.

******************************************************************************************************
It was one of the darkest dankest hangars Yoda had ever seen, barely used on the mid-levels, perfect for meeting up with the Jedi Kimar had sent.  

The bronze angular craft jetted in slowly.  He felt a quick flicker of distaste from Valens as he used the force to scan the occupants.  Only when the ships ramp descended did he realise why.

Kimar had come himself, along with two of his more loyal supporters and Soryu.

He looked annoyed but determined.

“Well Master Yoda,” he stood hand on hips dominating the space around him “what do you have to report to me,”
******************************************************************************************************
Yoda hadn’t really been outside the main city of Nar Shadda before. It was quite mountainous out here past the industrial zones, dotted with isolated fortresses.  They had obtained two light skiffs, Kimar and his men on one, Yoda Soryu and Valens on the other.  

With details on the mansion they had obtained from an information broker called Rgnal the plan had been set.  Valens would be dropped off near the base of the cliff to enter through the tunnel network, Soryu and Yoda either side of the mansion, whilst Kimar and his men landed on the main pad.  

The hope was Kimar could negotiate with the Mandolorians and the Quarren for a peaceful hand over, but if not, then the others would be ready to deal with them from the back and sides.  

The slid in quietly taking a long loop around to avoid the Mandolorians spotting them, they stopped near an alcove on the cliff face the opened to a hidden hangar, Valens force leapt across, Soryu then dropped Yoda off on the decaying eastern wall before heading for the west side.  As he moved into position as best he could – it seems the map they had been given wasn’t up to date for some of the more recent additions and seemingly abandoned construction platforms, he switched on his commlink to listen in as he saw Kimars skiff land.

“We’re here to see the Quarren,”

“Go frell a nerf Jedi scum,” replied a Mandolorian without missing a beat

“I have no quarrel with you Mandolorian, do not make one,”

Yoda may not like Kimar personally, or agree with him often, but he respected him nonetheless.

“You’re Jedi, you have a quarrel with everyone who doesn’t wear white robes and live like a monk,” the Mandos laughed, this was worrying Kimar was no fool, but didn’t take well to affront to the Order.

“Step aside,”

“Or what cast a spell on me like you did on Klatooine,” Yoda heard the dull thump of someone pushing Kimar

“I warn you,”

“Eat my barrel Jedi,”  

He heard blaster shot, the snap-hiss of igniting lightsabres.  The fight had begun.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Logged

Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #98 on: November 06, 2017, 10:24:00 PM »

Part 5 - Chapter 3

Lyr'Ca'Njo
An unhappy Mandolorian was not a pretty sight, though Lyr couldn’t decide if the anonymity of the helmet made them more or less threatening…depended what was under it he supposed.

Hunik stood hand on his hips towering over Lyrs desk,

“Where’s your new damn boss you snake, I want to see him now, he owes me big time!”

“Ah you mean the Quarren,”

“No I mean the bloody Queen of Hapes, of course the Quarren!  I’ve got damn Jedi on my tail because of him, and you.  You said the Jedi would only go after the Quarren, you tell that to my brother, unconscious for weeks now after some Jedi cast a spell on him!”

“You see the Quarren isn’t my employer or the owner here anymore…he passed away recently…”

“Cut the kriff, someone owes me and I want my losses recouped, you arranged the deal, you’re responsible!”

“Well if you’ll refer to the contract Myzm only provided administrative services, and as his…company is now….closed down….”

“Don’t try and fob me off, we both know how deals work around here, Myzms dead, Quarrens dead and I’m out of pocket, that leaves you Lyr, you can wave around all the contracts you want, I’ve got twelve of my best men here more than happy to debate you on it.”  He slammed his fists into the table…Lyr hoped it didn’t leave a dent…..

“Now are you going to pay up, or do I have to loot the place….your choice,”

Lyr sighed, better to make this just go away, “how much,”

“1 million,”

“Oh that’s ridiculous, the Jedi didn’t kill anyone did they, surely we can….,”

BOOM. An explosion rang out through he room,

“What the frell,” Hunik turned and muttered into his commlink

Lyr slowly started to move his chair away from his desk reaching for his blaster,

“Jedi, frelling Jedi!” Hunik yelled and turned to storm off, before he left the room he spun around faster than Lyr though possible in that much armour and pointed an accusing finger at him,

“Stay right there, price just went up!”

Lyr had no intention of obeying.

******************************************************************************************************
The holo feeds from the security cameras showed the Mandolorians holding three or four Jedi at bay, just, on the main landing platform.  He should’ve listened to Rgnal and never gotten involved with the Quarren…but still that wouldn’t have saved Myzm…

He tentatively opened the audience chamber door, Sevra sat cross legged before her bizarre assortment of candles, antiques and two stasis medical pods, one with a young woman’s corpse in it.  She looked like Sevra, he thought, though the bruising made it hard to tell. 

“Uh…Mistress a moment if I might,”

“What is it,” she said softly with the voice of nice Sevra, over the two months he had worked for her he had noticed three distinct tones in her voice, aloof, nice and psycho.  Oddly he preferred the aloof one. 

“Two minor issues, one a Mandalorian Hunik came by asking for money…he was the commander of the Mandalorians you previously…worked with…and also it seems some Jedi are outside fighting with Hunik and his Mandalorians,” he paused expecting a response but none came for too many beats

“Likely they will be after some of the artefacts the Quarren had you…acquire,” he glanced at the lightsabres arranged on the floor, collected from Jedi he had seen her kill, and more he hadn’t.

He straightened up, “Perhaps I could arrange something with them,”

“Perhaps you could…but the Jedi are not here to make deals….I suggest you leave quickly Lacryn Keeshaw, this will not end peacefully.”  She turned just enough he could make out half her face, it seemed sad…

“She won’t let it,” she finished and turned back.

He was more than a little flabbergasted she had spoken his real name…he hadn’t even told Rshi that….but he didn’t need to be told twice.  He could already hear the crisp sounds of blaster fire and the hum of Lightsabres drawing near. 

He was out of there.
******************************************************************************************************
The tunnels beneath the mansion were confusing and only dimly lit by old emergency lamps with half dead betteries, but Lyr made a habit of studying all escape routes very carefully, it never failed to come in handy.  He should’ve gone back for Rshi, or the child…but he had no desire to risk getting in between Mandolorians, Jedi and Sevra.

The rooms to the sides of the halls he was traversing were full of torture devices, and more than a few withered body parts.  He had a sickening feeling this was where some of the slaves he had sold the Quarren over the years had met their end.

He rounded a chipped stone corner then stopped dead.  There was a Jedi in a brown robe right in his face.  If ever he needed to talk his way out of something it was now.

“Uh…so good to see you fine Jedi, finally someone to save me from that insane woman, I’ve been here for months…”

He wasn’t buying it, he was just staring at him.  The Jedi seemed unusually young, human, male and felt somehow familiar.

“I know you,”  he said quietly

“uh…have you ever been to Nxana’s place on Ryloth?”

As he continued to stare, Lyr felt slightly faint, his eyes starting playing ticks on him, thin lines appeared all around him, then thicker ones, all converging on him as though he were the centre of some strange map of star lanes.

He started to feel a probing in his head, it was similar to how he felt when evil Sevra made him tell the truth, but this was somehow both less brutish and more distressing at the same time.

“If you weren’t the centre of a shatter point…” the young Jedi said with an eerie detached voice, “I would make you suffer a long, long time…be thankful I can use you,” 

Lyr was trembling, he suddenly fell to his knees as the force in his mind became even stronger, it was both pushing commands in and pulling knowledge out, his consciousness on a torture rack, the middle of the psychological tug of war.

“You’re going to work for me from now on Lyr’ca’Njo,”
Logged

Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #99 on: November 06, 2017, 10:25:13 PM »

Part 5- Chapter 4

Soryu
Soryu raced through the labyrinthine corridors trying to get to Kimar and the other Jedi, he could sense the rage polluting the force, he hope he could get to them in time.

He had overheard how quickly the situation had escalated…it sadden him that this would end in a fight…but then given this Quarren had likely killed dozens of Jedi already perhaps he had been too optimistic.

Oddly he had found no doors locked with anything more than basic security, perhaps due to the isolation, but the dank air stank of neglect.  He finally came across a main corridor that was not filled with dust, along the sides were various display cases with strange objects, on the falls tapestries and rotten banners that had a dark air…in fact as he paused to take in his surrounding the whole place had a sick feel to it…

He opened himself to the force to feel its flow, but it had a repulsive feel, he struggled to centre himself amongst so many competing energies…if there was any doubt before, there was none now that the artefacts had been brought here.

Through the dark haze  was Kimar and the Jedi, fighting with dropping Mandolorians, there Yoda to the east, a few other life forms about…he couldn’t sense Valens, but then even when he was right next to him he found it difficult to, and there deeper…

A sick, twisted presence, light and dark wrapped around each other…cutting and tearing…it was like nothing he had felt before…and then nearby a frightened presence, and another, a light one, small but strong…a child?

He had little time to investigate, doors crashed open behind him and three Mandolorians charged toward him.  He barely had his sabre switched on before the first bolts reached him, they fanned out taking cover in doorways.  He could tell from the speed of their movements these were veterans, they knew better than to face a Jedi close together, and the grenades that sailed toward him confirmed they knew how to fight Jedi too. 

He used the force to catch the two explosives, open a door to the side and send them in, smoke and electrical flashes billowed out as he jumped from door way to door way closing the distance.  It left him with a sticky feeling, as though something amongst those objects was trying to latch onto him…he had to be careful and only open himself fully to the force when absolutely necessary…it would make the fight harder…but the risk of being infected by the dark energies was too great.

He rolled and flipped, bouncing back the odd bolt, he needed to get closer.  But as fast as he moved they did too, switching places, falling back behind each other’s cover fire down the long hallway.   He couldn’t try to flank them he didn’t know the layout well enough, his major worry was if Kimar was beaten he would have more coming in behind him. 

Another grenade lobbed toward him, again he sent it trailing into an empty room, the oily feel stronger this time, he heard glass shatter and wood crack as it went off.  He rolled out of cover low and sprang up green sabre forward he bounced bolts back then sent a surge of the force toward he nearest Mandolorian, the door way cracked and splintered with his telekinetic blow, but missed the entrenched Mandoloiran, but the disorientation gave him time.  He came round and landed a high kick into the stunned Mando’s helmet, followed by a bone cracking stomp on his back and kicked his rifle away. 

Danger!

Almost too late he turned to deflect three well placed shots at his back from one of the Mandos across the hall, but where was the third?

The door crashed open and he flew back, only just managing to regain his balance, the third Mandolorian was far better equipped, but his brutal hit had knocked Soryu out of seconds firing line.  Third had two electro surge gauntlets glowing blue ready to pummel him, Soryu formed up and met his charge.  Third went high, mid, mid, low, high, each Soryu with the gluggy force was able to deflect, interspersing it with deflection of occasionally red bolts from second who showed high skill to fire that accurately into a melee. 

He was strongly pressed, this Mandoloiran was powerful, he could end this quickly with the force but to expose himself anymore to whatever was around him….

A cry and the hum of another lightsabre solved his issues, second was flat on the ground as Yoda came in blade glowing, the Mandos rifle split in two pieces bubbling where it had been cut.  Third payed little mind as Yoda raced up behind him.  The Just as Yoda leapt off the ground, Third spun and electro fist slamming into his friend sending him flying.  His spin carried him around and smacked Soryu in the side of the face, only that Soryu was already pivoting prevented the twisting of his neck going too far.  He rolled back tasting blood  Third headed toward Yoda,

“You’re the little scum that cast a spell on my brother.”  He yelled pulling a blaster,  There was little choice, Yoda struggled to right himself and Soryu let fly, his sabre arching into Thirds shoulder , followed by Soryu himself, charged with the force slamming his knees into his back. 

Even on his face the Mandolorian pushed to get up but Yoda was on him, tugging off his helmet as Soryu pinned him.  They pushed and struggled, bolts flew randomly smashing cabinet before Soryu disarmed him, he and Yoda both took glancing blows from the gauntlets before the helmet was off and Yoda pommel struck him unconscious.

******************************************************************************************************
“You alright,” he asked

“better I have been,”  Yoda looked around, “difficult here to fight,”  referring to the force here

“Very…I think we should meet up with Kimar before we face,” he gestured in the general direction of the swirling conflict in the force, “whatever that is,”

“Agreed we…”  A scream interrupted Yoda’s sentence, a woman, nearby, they rushed toward it. 

In an empty room a red skinned twi’lek was crouched hiding something as a Mandolorian grabbed at her,

“Hand it ov…,” he saw them and loosed a stream of bolts, Yoda deflected while Soryu flanked him, he tried to pull out his vibro-sword, but not before Soryu had landed a hard kick to the back of his knees, followed with a pommel strike to the top of his head.

He approached the crying Twi’lek,

“It’s alright, I’m here to help,” he placed what hoped was a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she turned and he opened himself a little to exude some warmth in the force, oddly the riot of dark energies was somehow stilled here…she turned and in her arms was a small grey bundle with a white tiny face…the child he had sensed.

Yoda came close, he could sense it too, the child was putting out by instinct alone a barrier of force energy protecting itself from the confusion of powers around it, creating a small island for itself. 

“A child of the Aethans this is, the mother near I hope,”  He turned to Soryu, “With the child stay, assist Kimar I will,” he gave the child another thoughtful look then left.
Logged

Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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Posts: 1903



« Reply #100 on: November 06, 2017, 10:26:37 PM »

Part 5 - Chapter 5

Sevra
She didn’t know why she had made the shrine.  It consisted of the babies mothers body in her medical pod, an empty medical pod next to it, she had no idea why she placed that there, surrounded by various candles and the lightsabres of all the Jedi she had killed in a row in front of the pods. 

She had no clue why she would bring the baby in here sometimes, but she did it anyway.

Her disorientation was only getting worse, she watched with calm detachment as she had less and less control over her body.

It seemed to her there were three ‘people’ in her.  First this part of her that knew what was going on, second was some violent angry person who killed things for no reason, obsessed over force artefacts, ordered the Twi’lek about and did all the talking, and a third that seemed more reasonable, but scared and confused, full of memories just out of reach and doing queer ritualistic things like making a shrine and visiting the baby.

It didn’t matter now, the violent side of her had taken control of her body and her voice, as soon as it had sensed the Jedi.  It knew no restraint, and this time she wouldn’t win, the Jedi had come for her, by now they likely knew what to expect from her. Of the four she could sense, one had been killed by the Mandolorians and three were not like the others she had faced, these were far stronger, far more controlled, potent precise hurricanes that could be aimed at her.


She had her claw, ten lightsabres and two tremor swords, and the aether….
That word again, it kept creeping up on her…
The force…she had the force
But she had no name….

It was very subtle at first, and even when she noticed it she could be forgiven for ignoring it, the probing in the force from the Jedi behind her…it was tentative even gentle…affectionate?

She stood, her back to the intruder. 
“Well here you are Jedi,” she used the force to lift and ignite nine of the sabres, another flicked into her hand glowing yellow, the tremor sword spun in the air beside her.

Without further preamble she sent the sabres flying at her enemy as she spun around. 

Immediately she could feel a surge in the force, the gentle air became a cyclone in an instant, battering the sabres she had launched on different vectors, she tried to realign a few, but he batted them off with his own green sabre, following through with clean cuts through the hilts.

As she charged toward the brown robed male human she launched her next attack, her claw raised spewed lightning, her eyes blazing, and firing overpowering fears and terrors toward his mind.

But as suddenly as he had surged into the force he vanished leaving her mental attack with no target, the lightning twisted form and caught it on his blade turning it a bright white and energies clashed.

The light let her see his face more clearly, and he hers, he looked somehow familiar, and she saw a sudden shock on his features, as if she had turned into a rancor before his very eyes.

“Shil….”before he could finish speaking she was on him, her claw lashing him he ducked, her sabre cutting low he rolled back, coming up with a high guard to meet her next blow.  She lunged forward to catch his sabre in her claw and let the kurtosis disable it, but he seemed to sense her intent and telekinetically knocked her claw to the side, she had to bring her sabre in to protect her exposed torso.

She pushed back with the force, but it met a protective field she hadn’t even sensed he was there…This one was a cut above the other Jedi she had faced

“Stop we don’t,” he spoke, perhaps the conscious part of her would’ve stopped to listen, but that other part of her that longed to kill was in control of her actions.

She slashed ferociously, and tried to get her claw at him, but he used the force to kept it pinned outstretched.  There were three fights all at once, Lightsabre against lightsabre on her right, that she was winning driving him toward the wall, force push against force push on her left, that was deadlocked, and will against will in their minds.  There he was trying to calm her, delay her, her resistance was half hearted, but even as he won it did no good, the mind he tried to calm had no control of the body.

High, high, low, mid, high she struck with the sabre, his back was to the wall now, only a metre away, she diverted her power from unnecessary mental defence to regaining control of her claw, it did the trick it was almost free.  Suddenly he seemed to realise his mental efforts were no use, he cut the attack and simultaneously released her claw.  Suddenly free her claw swung forward uncontrollably with pent up moment unleashed in an instant, he ducked down and around cutting into her unarmoured arm pit, severing the muscles on the front of her shoulder.

She felt the pain, it was light, but the effect was devastating, it had cut into her teres muscles rendering them useless, the heavy claw sank…she could no longer raise her arm.

As he came up she smashed her sabre forward in a vertical strike down to his left, but he raised his horizontal to catch it.

She held the sabre parallel to her, holding back her enemies that ran perpendicular.  They pressed ever closer as she drove him into the wall, they were so close she could smell his sweat, his tears.
He wept, “Don’t make me do this Shilea,”
Shilea.
That was it
That was the word
Her name.

Shilea
The seal was broken, the winds of the aether coursed through her, what she was, what she is, what she might be all blew through her mind.  She finally recognised the face pressed so closely to hers, once in love, now in war.

She wanted to fall back into his arms, to sleep, to awaken from the nightmare…but she couldn’t, her body would not obey, she could feel it, the dark tendrils from the claw controlled her body if not her mind.  But it was trying, trying to seep back into her head. 

“Valens…” she whimpered…”It…” she glanced down at the claw, then back into his eyes.  She could feel his understanding, he pushed her back with his sabre giving himself more room, her body surged forward recovering from the disorientation her name had caused sabre ready to cut him down.
Before she could reach her left arm flew up and outstretched, and with a furious primal power he used the aether to tear the claw from her arm shattering it to pieces.  Skin and muscle ripped off with it.

“NO!” he yelled. At what she thought…she shuddered and looked down, a yellow glowing blade pierced out from between her breasts.

Her eyes widened as she stared at her husband, his despair blew through the aether like a tornado. She tried to speak, but fell instead.

Logged

Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #101 on: November 06, 2017, 10:28:44 PM »

Part 5 - Chapter 6

Valens
Shileas body flopped to the floor, behind her stood Kimar yellow sabre a glow.  Valens fell trying to get to her,

“What are you doing” the Ikotchi yelled,

He cradled her, poured the aether into her trying to heal her, small parts of the cauterized wound around the skin started to repair…but…it would never be enough…he could not regrow a heart and half a lung with the aether…

He slumped over her, staring into her ever more vacant eyes, they faded from yellow to their natural green as the last of her life left her body.

“Why would you try and save a wretched thing like that?” Kimar asked nonchalantly,

He remained silent for a moment then looked up at Kimar.  The Jedi looked bored, as if he had just swatted an insect.  He could feel the hate raging within him, his breathing faster…all he had to do was…

“Not now…not yet,”  He heard his mother’s voice beside him, Kimar obviously sensed something as he went back on alert,

“There will another time, another place, you know this,” Lyssia pleaded. He did know it, but it didn’t make it any easier.

By the Aether I will see you and every one of your people suffer for this he thought

“Show them what becomes of those who harm an Aethan,” his grandfather’s voice added.

He had barely noticed Yoda and Soryu arriving, both looking a little worse for wear, and in Soryus arms…

“A child of the aether” his mother’s voice whispered descending back into the aether.

******************************************************************************************************

He had placed Shileas body in the empty medical pod, beside Cilina…he had no idea what had made Shilea make the shrine, and could only guess in her disturbed state she had somehow forseen the need for a second pod.  The claw lay shattered on the floor, its dark powers slowly seeping into the void.

Yoda sat beside him - after seeing Cilina’s bodies and recognising the similarity to Shilea he had quickly realised what Valens had just lost. Soryu attended to the child whilst Kimar and his surviving knight searched the mansion to collect the artefacts and called in a transport to begin ferrying them back to Coruscant

“No words such grief may relieve,” Yoda said his hand on Valens shoulder, “One with the force now, at peace she is….little consolation now but in time….”

Valens stared at the wreck of his wife.  He hadn’t recognised her at first, even in the aether, the sith device had overwhelmed her presence, and the cut hair and gaunt features made her face barely recognizable compared to when he had last seen her…long brown hair, full cheeks…

He looked toward Soryu who held Cilinas baby, Milaea, attended by a female twi’lek slave who had brought a bottle for her.

“Master…” he turned to Yoda….”Please can I,” he could barely say it through his tears,
“please let me take them back, to bury them according to our peoples ways…and the baby…to bless her birth in the waters, air and earth of her home world as her mother would’ve according to our traditions….”

Yoda nodded, Valens knew Kimar would object, but Yoda would prevail on compassionate grounds.  “Once rested…depart for your home we shall, than to the temple we can return….strong in the force your niece is, with the other younglings raised she can be,”
******************************************************************************************************
He stood at the foot of the Black Altar, over his  left shoulder his dead wife, in his right arm his baby niece, and behind him his sister in law.  His face was set in stone between utter rage and utter despair.  

He had found Melron waiting for him at the entrance to the cave, he hadn’t spoken, just sorrowfully embraced him and helped him get the bodies down.  He didn’t know how, it didn’t matter, but Melron knew the truth of it, the truth of all of them.  

He lay Shilea and Cilina’s naked bodies upon the altar, he had cleaned their bodies as best he could.  Milaea was half asleep, her consciousness shutting down to protect itself from the strength of the aether here.  He placed the child upon her mother’s breast.

He placed his hand on either side of the altar and felt the energies in it surge once more.  

In a cracking voice he called, “These are the last, the last of your children…..bring them back!”

From the echoing darkness, light of the Aether began to gently suffuse the cavern, the ghosts of his grandfather Andis, his adoptive mother Lyssia, all those he had known throughout his life on Aethas crowded behind him, waiting for the answer.

Slowly on the other side of the altar she appeared…the Lady, the Phantom, The Goddess.  A red vision of female perfection, her gaze settled upon him.  With his hands upon the altar he knew her, knew her secrets, even if his memory had not fully returned without the altar to boost it, still she was crippling in intensity.

Free Me

It was half demand half request, he looked at Milaea.  She was the last child of the Aethans…their survival rested upon her…she was so small and vulnerable…in this galaxy…he alone could not protect her…

“We have an agreement,” he replied, the ghostly red figure nodded slowly, the spirits of the Aethans glowed in grim agreement.

Red lightning crackled from his fingertips.

Once again before this altar…He made his choice.

********************************* Children of the Aether **********************************************
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.....
.....
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“Master Yoda, you can't die.” Luke said, half in jest not wanting to believe it himself

“Strong am I with the Force,” Yoda replied “but not that strong.”

Logged

Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

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« Reply #102 on: November 07, 2017, 12:54:18 PM »

Part 5, CH.1 Jarys

To do justice to this incredible story, I'm commenting on them one chapter at a time as I read them  Smiley

After months of planning (and 1-2 years of slavery) I wonder if Jarys best course of action is to get in with the Sons...but, then again, without Valens' skill at memory absorption, he's literally left to his own devices.  "Stranger in a strange land."

I remember LSG and Karm discussing the "non-shock" of the many deaths.  Again: Jarys has just killed 600.  I am reminded of a saying: "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."  LSG, you deftly avoid this by creating an atmosphere of decadence, villainy, and people of I'll repute. More like "laser-guided karma" or that's just my take  Wink. Still: I'm not trusting the Sons, either.

Until next installment friends  Smiley
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« Reply #103 on: November 07, 2017, 04:03:30 PM »

Whoa....

I read through them, and I am a little overwhelmed, but the ending... 

What is striking me right now is that you didn't really end the story.  :-)  This feels like a "back-story" more than a story, a massive set-up for another story that you want to tell.  I am reminded of Tolkien.  (Yes, I just compared you to Tolkien.  Favorably.  ;-)  )  Anyway...   If you're familiar with JRR Tolkien, you know that his two works, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are backed up by MILLIONS of words of back-stories and supporting stories.  The Simmarillion is only part of it.  And a lot of it is like this - the story of a people, struggling to survive and somewhat failing, but putting forth a single thread or ember that is destined to have a huge impact in the future.

A future that you jumped to with your final cut scene between Yoda and his last powerful student - Luke Skywalker, a student he must have felt was much like Valens had been.  Much as his father had been as well. 

A child of the Aether...

I am not implying that the Skywalkers are Children of the Aether.  But that is definitely a possiblity.  :-)

No. I think Milaea is still alive.  And I think we'll be hearing more about her soon. 

LGS, this was a great story!  Very dark, very forboding, and certainly not in the normal "happy ending" mold that we generally like to fit into.  But it is tight, it is true to the canon characters you touch, its plausible, and it is a great read!  Well done! 

It would be fun to gather all of these stories up and publish them.  But I think we'd get sued to oblivion...  :-)

And I REALLY hope I'm right and there's a sequel coming! 
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« Reply #104 on: November 07, 2017, 04:38:04 PM »

And I REALLY hope I'm right and there's a sequel coming! 
This, so much^^
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