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Author Topic: Interludes  (Read 147135 times)
TheDutchman
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« Reply #30 on: November 13, 2017, 07:20:47 PM »

This is fantastic!  I love learning more about Karm's past and while this provides some answers, it also raises questions!  Is this the same ancient crystal belonging to the Mak'Tor Kage?  Is the pedegree of the crystal able to intuit that only a Singer can fully appreciate (and utilize) it?  I really like the fact that what Karm has produced is--in effect--a legacy weapon  Smiley. Admittedly, now I want to know more about Karm's parents!  And the cathedral...or is this the Mak'Tor Spire?!  Enquiring minds want to know  Grin

I am really enjoying these Interludes!  Great job Karm!
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
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« Reply #31 on: November 13, 2017, 07:22:11 PM »

The Ancient One

What a beautiful scene. Really shows how much Karm's father loved him, but also the concern that comes with that. Karm was fully expecting to have his saber taken away, yet it wasn't. The relief, and pride he felt there must have been incredible. Great entry.

This is fantastic!  I love learning more about Karm's past and while this provides some answers, it also raises questions!  Is this the same ancient crystal belonging to the Mak'Tor Kage?  Is the pedegree of the crystal able to intuit that only a Singer can fully appreciate (and utilize) it?  I really like the fact that what Karm has produced is--in effect--a legacy weapon  Smiley. Admittedly, now I want to know more about Karm's parents!  And the cathedral...or is this the Mak'Tor Spire?!  Enquiring minds want to know  Grin

I am really enjoying these Interludes!  Great job Karm!

Yes, exactly. Great choice on giving the mom a Pink saber. Grin
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #32 on: November 13, 2017, 09:50:58 PM »

interesting the connection to his song at such a young age goes part of the way - I think - to explaining just why Karm is so abhorred by the concept of Dark Singer. Such a strong connection to his song is obviously a great strength of his, and based on the fact you note his parents blades don't sing in the same way a potentially unique advantage...but every strength can be turned to weakness and I suspect reflecting on Chapter 6 of wind chimes that is why the crystal beneath he floor had such a strong effect on him.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

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« Reply #33 on: November 14, 2017, 03:33:40 AM »

interesting the connection to his song at such a young age goes part of the way - I think - to explaining just why Karm is so abhorred by the concept of Dark Singer. Such a strong connection to his song is obviously a great strength of his, and based on the fact you note his parents blades don't sing in the same way a potentially unique advantage...but every strength can be turned to weakness and I suspect reflecting on Chapter 6 of wind chimes that is why the crystal beneath he floor had such a strong effect on him.

That's pretty much the way it plays in my mind, LSG.  The Mak'Tor "discovered" what amounts to an underlying carrier in the force, something that can be an amplifier or aid in prediction, but most only hear it peripherally.  Karmack is one of a few that can hear it clearly and even "sing" in a way that bends the force - actually "change" the song.  But he rarely does it.   In Karmack's world-view, the song is set into motion by the Singer, the Maker aka God.  He sees it in much the same way a Christian or Jew might see Divine Providence.  So changing that or corrupting it?  Yeah, bad deal.

And his connection did "hurt" him when the crystal was destroyed.  Deeply.  Very much like getting run over by a force-truck...
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #34 on: November 15, 2017, 01:29:52 AM »

Interlude-
Curricula: School of Hard Knocks


“Jorya!  Come with us to the Apadana for sonic billiards!” one of the Twi’Lek teidowans, Tenten Keepsala yelled at me.  “Maenowan Bal We is among the finalists!”

I smiled but shook my head.  “Sorry Ten; Father pinged my comm.  He wants me to meet him at the Tactical Training Hall.  ‘Bye!”  Before Ten could get another word out, I darted away.  I knew she’d want ALL the gossip but I couldn’t keep Father waiting.

I was almost to the Hall when my comm chimed.  It was Father again.  That wasn’t like him.  Now I was a bit worried so I started running.  I almost ran into Master Tarash Noko but somersaulted just before I ran into him.  “Sorry Master Noko!”  The Chistori Gray Master said something in his reptilian language that it was probably better I didn’t know.  Oh well; Father had me practice Djem So but told me never to become overly reliant on it…so I doubt that Master Noko would ever be my saber instructor.

By the time I made it to the doors, my comm had pinged a third time.  Instead of answering it, I opened the doors to the main Hall in the Training wing.  “Father, I know that you’re not fast now that you’re old but even I need ti…”

I could tell immediately that something wasn’t normal.  Father was wearing his formal gray maenowan robes.  Across his barrel chest, his tabard marked in Aurabesh with his Water Warrior rank was stretched tight, his robes clean, and business-like.  His big arms were crossed in front of him.  Father had always been a large and intimidating man but he always had a smile for me.  Not now, his frown turned his beard downward.  The muscles in his jowls rippled across his smooth cheeks as he gritted his teeth.  Beside him, Mother was also dressed in her silver and burgundy robes.  Worse: Kage Chan’dn was here in her formal silver and gray mantle.  But…I was just dressed casual; not even in utilities.  What was going on?

Before any of them spoke, I remembered the forms.  “Kage Chan’dn.  Master D’Aylanna.  Maenowan Zearic.”  I bowed to each in turn and stood silent.  I wouldn’t let Father or Mother down.

“Teidowan Fah.  I’ve summoned you here for a Final Test.  This will determine if you are ready for the Trial of the Dragon Cave.”  Father’s deep voice was all business.  I knew that my Gray Trials were coming but…this?  I had no idea what was going on… “Are you prepared?”  Father’s booming voice startled me.  I could hear his voice in my head: Remember, the most potent weapon that you possess is your mind.  Always use it first and foremost.

“I am, maenowan.”  I knew that I sounded more confident than I felt, but I wanted my parents to be proud.  Still…I had NO idea what was coming.

Father’s face looked impassive.  “Very well.”  He began to remove his hooded dark gray surcoat and fold it up.  What the…?  Once he straightened—By the Maker he looked…BIG—he took his lightsaber off his belt.  “Ready yourself, teidowan.  Your Final Test begins.  NOW.”

As he spoke his last word, he ignited his lightsaber, the blue blade made his face look ominous as it cast a shadow across his cybernetic left eye.  But…wait…

“But Master…we’re using…real lightsabers?” I was afraid, as I was always shy when it came to questioning him.  It just didn’t seem…right.  After all, he’d saved my life all those years ago.  He’d trained me, he’d raised me, he’d made me his family, and he loved me.  It…it wasn’t…well, right.  But…still…?

“Are you questioning me, teidowan?  Or are you saying that you forfeit your Final Test?” Father’s voice was actually angry; no, not angry, cruel.  I’d never heard him speak like this.  What was going on?  But…still…I said nothing.

“No, maenowan.”  I grabbed the saber from my belt—the newest saber I’d just built all by myself—and ignited it.  The violet blade, in honor of Mother, sprung up with a snap-hiss.  I still wasn’t sure what was going on…maybe I had to beat Father one-on-one in saber combat?  But…I had never beaten him…

“Come at me, teidowan.  You must defeat me.”

I paused. Defeat…him?  Does…he…with live sabers?  But as I stood there, Father…attacked.  I barely had time to block with my blade.  I could feel the hit in my arms.  That…that was a full power strike!  I gritted my teeth, pushing away his blade.  I adopted Soresu to defend.  Besides, Father’s Water Warrior training allowed him to see exploits, or so he always said.  And I’d wasted enough time doubting.  I would be worthy.

Father’s blue blade came at me, again and again.  Each time I blocked, my arms quivered from the hits on my lightsaber.  But I was doing it: he couldn’t hit me.  I knew it was time to attack.  Changing to Ataru, I used my speed to power my offense.  Father had always told me that I was faster…yet, I could not seem to beat him.  Every time I saw an opening, I would strike…only to have Father block it.  He didn’t seem to move faster; he just always was able to block my blade.

And he wasn’t holding back, either.  I’d sparred with Father—and Mother—many times and I knew the difference from when we were in “practice” and…whatever this was.  No, not “whatever,” this WAS my Final Test.  My Ataru was doing good against Father…but he had yet to really engage in a more…aggressive form.  Like the Vaapad that he’d been practicing for a while now. Pay attention!  My purple blade barely blocked a particularly quick riposte.  I made myself focus totally on the Test at hand.

I knew that defense never won a battle so I switched to offense.  And several of my strikes were close.  But I knew the problem was that Father had specifically trained as a Water Warrior.  He would use a “formless form” (he called it) against an opponent.  And then, he would crash.

I could feel the saberwork in my arms.  Not necessarily from fatigue—well not ALL from me being tired—but each time my blade hit Father’s it…vibrated down both of my arms.  Yes he was much, much bigger than me…but also he made use of ALL of his strength.  I should know; he taught me as much.  I knew I needed to remember that and use it.  And, at first, I did.  I could tell that it made a difference…but not enough.

Suddenly, over two-dozen missiles—practice orbs that the younglings used—were thrown through the air at me.  I got distracted and, suddenly, found myself on my back.  Father had used a leg sweep while I'd been preoccupied.  And now: I stared straight at the tip of Father’s lightsaber blade.  

“Teidowan, you have failed the Final Test.”  Father’s voice boomed again, like he was pronouncing sentence on a criminal.

I got up unceremoniously.  “B…but…I…the test…it’s not—”

“Are you complaining, teidowan?” Father’s voice cut me off.  I had never been rude to him…but this test…it…it wasn’t…

“…No, maenowan.”  This wasn’t…right.  I wasn’t scared, well, per se.  I was more…mad.  But…surely Father MUST have a reason…

“Then leave.  Leave the Hall, teidowan.  You are censured.”  Father’s face was not just angry, he was furious.  And…disappointed.  “Censured?!”  But this isn’t…

I…didn’t know what to do.  Father was always fair.  ALWAYS.  But…this?  It’s just…

I saw that Father had turned his back to me and he was talking to Kage Chan’dn.  Mother…she was staring at me.  I’d always thought her dark eyes kind, if…intense.  Still, she was…STRONG.  And now, how she looked at me?  Was it…expectantly?  What did she want?

I turned to leave.  

Wait.  Mother reminded me…and something Father had told me a long time ago…

“No.”  The sound of my voice startled me.  It had echoed throughout the Hall.  And I found myself staring straight into three sets of eyes.  They were…penetrating.  And intimidating.  But… “No.  This is not a fair test.”  I held my head up even if my stomach felt like it was tied in knots.  

“What did you say, teidowan?”  Father’s voice was still hard.  The harsh tone was no longer there; but he WAS serious.  Well…I’d come this far…

“This is not a fair test.”  I kept my composure.  I remembered Mother telling me to stand up for myself against “tyranny” and “injustice” and Father showing me how to carry myself, my shoulders squared, head held high, and body straight.  I hope…  “And…it is against the rules to use telekinesis for projectiles.”

Father looked to Mother and then to Kage Chan’dn.  He walked over to me, slowly.  By the Maker his eyes are…hard.  I was proud of myself: I didn’t gulp but instead looked right into his strange hazel eyes.

And before I knew it, he was crushing me as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.  “I TOLD you she was ready!”  Releasing me, his big hands grabbed my arms as he held me at arm’s length, his face full of pride and love.

“My Shakal is correct.”  Mother’s regal voice glided through the air.  “Jorya is prepared.  She is ready for the Trial of the Dragon Cave.”

Before I could think, I blurted out, “What?!”  Remembering who was in front of me, I almost stammered, “…That is, pardon Master D’Aylanna?”

But it was Kage Chan’dn who spoke, “Teidowan Fah.  You are deemed prepared for your Final Gray Trial.  Are you ready?”  Her orange eyes looked harder than even Fathers.

“I am, Kage.”  My voice was clear, self-assured. Like Mother’s. I noticed that I was standing straight like Father had taught me.

Kage Chan’dn gave a small, almost imperceptible smile.  And…did she nod?  “So be it.  Tomorrow, you undergo the Trial of the Dragon Cave, Teidowan Fah.  You have tonight.  May the Force be with you.”  And she left.

I turned to both Mother and Father.  “What…what was that about?”  I could hear the confusion—and anger—in my voice.  I knew I shouldn’t but…

“Jorya.  This is a graphic example of the wisdom inherent…” He stopped, grinned and when he spoke again, it was in the voice that I’d come to know and love for so long.  “Dear One, you’ve learned two very valuable lessons: to stand up for yourself when you know that you’re being treated unjustly.”

…Of course, how did I not see it?  Wait…  “Father, you said ‘two’…?”

He smiled wider.  “The second—and you must ALWAYS remember this—is that life is not ‘fair.’  Do not expect an opponent to be ‘fair.’  Do not expect that matters will go your way just because it is ‘fair.’  And do not ever, EVER think that others will treat you as you would treat them…because it would be ‘fair.’”  He put his hands on my shoulders and his smile turned bittersweet.  “But, Dear One, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t at least ‘try.’”  Looking into Father’s eyes, I could see compassion.  And I understood.  

Feeling Mother behind me, she and Father hugged me between them.  Tomorrow was my Final Gray Trial.  And I would do them proud.
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
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« Reply #35 on: November 15, 2017, 02:32:27 AM »

Dutchman, this is a great scene.  :-)  As a martial artist I have trained with and sparred with my own daughters many times.  This reminds me very much of a match I sparred with my elder daughter.  She is a 2nd degree, I am (still) a 1st degree but we've been training for the same length of time.   (I was injured during our 2nd degree test.  Its a long story.  LOL)

The point is, we were in a tournament and by the luck of the draw we were facing each other competitively.  She's very fast, but she's MUCH smaller than I am.  :-)   But for the first time we fought "for real".  It was still not really really real, but it was full speed, full power, no holding back.  What I remember most was when she came in with a very strong kick but came right into me - and I caught her kick and picked her up and physically threw her out of the ring.  Two points. 

She came back in and came after me with a fast round kick, which I blocked.  She had a bruise on her leg for two weeks.

I won the match easily.  It wasn't fair.  At all.  But it was a great match and we had a lot of fun.  But this scene really resonates with me because of that experience and the talk we had afterward about how even when everything is "fair", it really isn't.  :-)

Thanks for the peek into their past.  Now if only someone had documented what goes on in that Dragon Cave...    LOL
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

TheDutchman
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« Reply #36 on: November 15, 2017, 02:44:07 AM »

Dutchman, this is a great scene.  :-)  As a martial artist I have trained with and sparred with my own daughters many times.  This reminds me very much of a match I sparred with my elder daughter.  She is a 2nd degree, I am (still) a 1st degree but we've been training for the same length of time.   (I was injured during our 2nd degree test.  Its a long story.  LOL)

The point is, we were in a tournament and by the luck of the draw we were facing each other competitively.  She's very fast, but she's MUCH smaller than I am.  :-)   But for the first time we fought "for real".  It was still not really really real, but it was full speed, full power, no holding back.  What I remember most was when she came in with a very strong kick but came right into me - and I caught her kick and picked her up and physically threw her out of the ring.  Two points. 

She came back in and came after me with a fast round kick, which I blocked.  She had a bruise on her leg for two weeks.

I won the match easily.  It wasn't fair.  At all.  But it was a great match and we had a lot of fun.  But this scene really resonates with me because of that experience and the talk we had afterward about how even when everything is "fair", it really isn't.  :-)

Thanks for the peek into their past.  Now if only someone had documented what goes on in that Dragon Cave...    LOL
OK...first off: what an AWESOME story Karm!  I had NO idea!  And you've obviously got a great family my friend  Smiley

I have to admit that I wrote this as a window into Jorya's perspective.  I figured she would be a good counter-balance to Zearic in that regard  Wink

And you're right about the Trial of the Dragon Cave^^  But, for me, I'll keep it as the "UN-reveal"  Grin
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #37 on: November 15, 2017, 03:00:15 AM »

Interesting how Jorya’s perspective has a different feel from when you write Zearic…she seems a little more focused on the people and emotions than concepts…but maybe it’s just the scene.  Always solid combat as always, as good lesson too, no test is ever fair, though perhaps she should’ve been more prepared to fight at any moment by that stage in her training?   Kryat Dragon Cave maybe...sounds interesting!
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
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Lord of the Force


« Reply #38 on: November 15, 2017, 04:33:17 AM »

I have never done any form of martial arts, but I have often thought about how it would be if I were to have to fight someone bigger, stronger, and more skilled than myself. More than likely I'd lose, but there is a chance that because I was not taught the "forms", or the correct way to fight, I might have a chance because of my spontaneity. Once again, you have done wonders in your training scenes. Once more giving us a look into the characters and their lives, but also through a different view. I agree with LSG that this one has a completely different feel then those from Zearic's POV. You did really well at capturing the difference between the two of them, as well as the similarities. Very well done, and I can't wait to figure out what happens in the Dragon Cave. I get the feeling that this will have some major importance in the coming Shadow Etude entries.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

TheDutchman
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« Reply #39 on: November 15, 2017, 04:53:15 AM »

Interesting how Jorya’s perspective has a different feel from when you write Zearic…she seems a little more focused on the people and emotions than concepts…but maybe it’s just the scene.  Always solid combat as always, as good lesson too, no test is ever fair, though perhaps she should’ve been more prepared to fight at any moment by that stage in her training?   Kryat Dragon Cave maybe...sounds interesting!
I have never done any form of martial arts, but I have often thought about how it would be if I were to have to fight someone bigger, stronger, and more skilled than myself. More than likely I'd lose, but there is a chance that because I was not taught the "forms", or the correct way to fight, I might have a chance because of my spontaneity. Once again, you have done wonders in your training scenes. Once more giving us a look into the characters and their lives, but also through a different view. I agree with LSG that this one has a completely different feel then those from Zearic's POV. You did really well at capturing the difference between the two of them, as well as the similarities. Very well done, and I can't wait to figure out what happens in the Dragon Cave. I get the feeling that this will have some major importance in the coming Shadow Etude entries.
THANK YOU both!  I was REALLY hoping to get a different "voice" in writing Jorya vs. Zearic; thanks to your feedback, I feel like I succeeded!  I think a few more installments with Jorya are coming up; really don't want to say TOO much and ruin anything  Wink

And the Dragon Cave...I might have to get together with Karm and come up with something; there's actually nothing written about it other than the "Trial of the Dragon Cave"  And that's it!  Grin.  Just a thought  Smiley
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
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Master of Ceremonies
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************

Force Alignment: 1152
Posts: 5602


Light side points please.


« Reply #40 on: November 15, 2017, 05:25:36 AM »

I have never done any form of martial arts, but I have often thought about how it would be if I were to have to fight someone bigger, stronger, and more skilled than myself. More than likely I'd lose, but there is a chance that because I was not taught the "forms", or the correct way to fight, I might have a chance because of my spontaneity. Once again, you have done wonders in your training scenes. Once more giving us a look into the characters and their lives, but also through a different view. I agree with LSG that this one has a completely different feel then those from Zearic's POV. You did really well at capturing the difference between the two of them, as well as the similarities. Very well done, and I can't wait to figure out what happens in the Dragon Cave. I get the feeling that this will have some major importance in the coming Shadow Etude entries.

LOL.  Those of us who are black belts and instructors at my school talk about the new students at times, and the challenges of testing days.  We all agree: the new students sparring for the first time are the most dangerous (in the sense of someone getting legitimately hurt) because they don't know the forms and techniques very well.  So they're utterly unpredictable.  When the black belts spar, we can hurt each other sometimes but it almost always comes from someone jinking when they should have jagged.  And NEVER walk into a spin-back-fist!  *shudder*

As for fighting someone bigger....  My advice - kick them in the knee-cap HARD, then in the gonads HARD, then RUN AWAY!  ;-)
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Taegin Roan
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« Reply #41 on: November 15, 2017, 05:33:31 AM »

LOL.  Those of us who are black belts and instructors at my school talk about the new students at times, and the challenges of testing days.  We all agree: the new students sparring for the first time are the most dangerous (in the sense of someone getting legitimately hurt) because they don't know the forms and techniques very well.  So they're utterly unpredictable.  When the black belts spar, we can hurt each other sometimes but it almost always comes from someone jinking when they should have jagged.  And NEVER walk into a spin-back-fist!  *shudder*

As for fighting someone bigger....  My advice - kick them in the knee-cap HARD, then in the gonads HARD, then RUN AWAY!  ;-)

Luckily I've never had to fight someone, but that is the same type of advice I have been getting all my life, and I intend to follow it. Cheesy
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #42 on: November 15, 2017, 05:49:13 AM »

As promised in my Teaser, mid November is today!!! 

Interludes 1 and 2 are set Before the "Collapse" mentioned in Children of the Aether.  Trying some different things with my writing but should still feel familiar, as always love to hear any feedback.

Basically none have a 'name', trying to be more anonymous and focus on events and concepts.

However interludes 3-8 (coming over the next couple of weeks, have the plan just have to write them...) will be characters from CotA point of view, points if you can guess who they each are!


Interlude 1 - The Scientist
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-Aethas – Before the Collapse
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Helixes twirled in the monitor, the two strands combining to form a full sequence…it was proceeding perfectly, each matching pair lighting up blue…but then…red…an error…damn…

Even the Prime Director of Genetic Sciences could make an error…it was to be expected…redesigning Aethan genomes was a long term task.  They were ahead of schedule anyway…first trials of 13th generation adjustments were underway.  Once confirmed and approved by the Technocracy every couple would submit their genetic material for editing, then at the next appropriate time in her fertility cycle they would implant the 13th generation embryos into the mother…in this way over the course of 3-4 years every fertile couple would have a 13th generation child…free of dozens more genetic errors…and most importantly adding biological efficiencies.  13th generation research had focused on increasing lung capacity, resilience and oxygenation efficiency…they would be able to survive in extreme altitudes with no loss of blood oxygen, their muscle uptake of oxygen was also 25% more efficient than generation 12’s like herself.

She stood and stretched out…it was important work…but it paled in comparison to Project Aethenaea…across from her desk on the wall were holographs of the Prime Directors of the Genetic Sciences since it had been established centuries ago…in the fight against disease and death they were the vanguard…the heroes one might say…developing genetic improvements rolled out to the population at intervals…improving life for every future generation…all with a view to completing Project Aethenaea…the true Goal…a perfect Aethan..as strong and healthy as could possibly be short of ceasing to be a carbon based life form. 

Each generation built of the progress on Project Aethenaea, and as they devised a more prefect Genetic code, they rolled out some to the population at large…steps toward a perfect race. 

It was an ironic name, she mused as she packed up for the day, slipping her mobile computer in her pack, and casting a warm glance towards the small white and gold statue of Aethenaea on her desk – a gift from her wife when she had been promoted.

Aethenaea was the ancient Goddess of Wisdom, the patron of the Aethan peoples, the full name was Athena ‘a ‘aether, the “’a” an ancient joining word that signified joint identity and ownership…Athena was the Aether, the Aether was Athena.

The irony was that the goddess had long since ceased being an object of worship, the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge for which she was named had inevitably lead them to conclude there were no Deities, but still the concept lived on, an ideal wise and powerful being…all Gods she knew were simply reflections of the minds which created them – yes woman made God in her mind….but through project Aethenaea…one day…woman would make a goddess.
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She placed her pack down on the entry way door as her daughter ran up to her, she bent and scooped her up, “Mili…how are you,” she kissed her warm little cheeks “did you have fun day!”

“I chased a Voynk,” 

“You chased a Vorynx! Wow was it a big one, what colour was it,”  she asked as she walked her toward the main room where her father was finishing their evening meal,

“It was blue and bwack,”  her father had obviously taken her to one of the nearby parks that had small mechanical animals for the children to play with.  Mili was only four but already showing great promise, a 12-3 generation child – Milis grandparents had been amongst the first 12th generation children born, 12-1’s, they in turn birthed her, a 12-2, and she and her wife had created Mili a 12-3 via dual egg reproduction.  Mili’s children would certainly be 13-1’s in turn - by the time she was fertile the 13th generation rollout would be well underway. 

“Cilinaea will be late,” her father noted, that wasn’t uncommon, she was Director in the Aethan Defence force,

“Well we’ll just have to start without her then, come on Mili..ooh look your favourite Gormin sticks!,”
Her petite green eyes lit up, and she had to tighten her grasp as Mili let go of her neck to clap excitedly.
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The mood was tense, the faces fallen after the Prime Director of Defence had delivered her report. 

“Options,” High Director Varens asked the room…all twenty five Prime Directors of the Aethan Technocracy were assembled, along with the High Director who acted as the mediators of such gatherings, overseeing the Technocracy like a President in a Republic.

“We knew it would happen eventually…”  Agriculture said,

“But not this soon…that’s was why our ancestors settled here…this deep into the core…” Education replied

“It is prime ground for miners though…the gravity creates minerals found nowhere else…in some ways we’ve been lucky to avoid detection for so long,”  Astro-cosmology added

“We can’t risk direct confrontation…I suggest infiltration...in the meantime we refocus our efforts on military production,” Social affairs suggested

“What use is military production if our weapons are technologically inferior…I say we infiltrate, steal their technology and adapt it…” Geology proposed, general agreement suffused the aether.

“Hopefully the rest of the galaxy still has low percentages of aetheric ability…that will be our greatest advantage,” Varens said then turned to her,

“Genetics,”  they didn’t use names in formal meetings, it kept personalities out of discussions and focused on areas of expertise, “If we were to create Project Aethenaea as it currently stands what would we produce, in broad terms,”

She nodded, “I would estimate the equivalent of four of generations of improvements above 13 which we are currently finalising,”  Project Aethenaea never ended, it was the quest for perfection, but always several steps ahead of what could be rolled out to the population at large. 

“Approximately generation 17…maybe 18, although we could incorporate some additional components being researched to push it to 20,”

“any progress on the Y chromosome issues,”  Project Aethenaea focused almost exclusively on a female ideal, the Y chromosome threw up too many difficulties,

“We could manage it, it wouldn’t be quite as strong overall…but it would have a differing set of strengths that would be useful,”

“Aetheric Sciences…the infusion methods?” Varens turned to the Prime Director of Aetheric Sciences, who advanced and researched the use of the aether

“Are ready…depending on the level you wish to achieve…”

“Maximum possible,”

“that would require quite a…blood sacrifice to use an archaic term…”

“how many,”

“three of four hundred at least,”

“Social Affairs could we manage it with volunteers?”

“If the people understand the threat…I think so,”

Varens eyes hardened, “Defence, how long do we have,”

Defence shifted in her seat, “If we pull back from the surrounding systems immediately…the Tri Nova Passage should prove a significant barrier for them progressing any further…given the average time it would take to populate the systems perhaps a decade, maybe two if they are not a unified force.”

“This is a dangerous time for us….we need to use every resource to protect ourselves…Genetics, begin production of a Project Aethenaea female immediately, co-ordinate with Aetheric Sciences and Social affairs I want it fully powered…if possible prepare a male as well,”

She nodded…she couldn’t contain her excitement, no doubt it flowed openly into the aether about her…so much to do…finalise the sequences, find mothers to carry the children, arrange for families to rear them…

Funny she thought, that science would birth the closest thing to a real goddess that had ever existed…Aethenaea might yet live one day 
Logged

Lord_S_Gray

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Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Karmack
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« Reply #43 on: November 15, 2017, 06:33:43 AM »


Funny she thought, that science would birth the closest thing to a real goddess that had ever existed…Aethenaea might yet live one day 


So the Children are the product of genetic manipulation! Serving ... the goddess!
Hmm.
I won't pretend to really understand how this is all tying together, but the threads of connection I can see are intriguing!  This is beginning to feel much like a post-apocalyptic kind of scenario. 
As for the writing itself, nicely done.  :-)  I like the flow and tenor of the piece.  It feels a LOT like a cold-war story at this point. 
You can see the beginnings of the threads of your story here.  And it gives a lot more impact and meaning to the title as well.  :-)  These are not just children of the force, they are the offspring of a deliberate genetic project designed to enhance them, especially in the area of force usage, sensitivity and power.

Nice.  I am GREATLY anticipating this next story!  :-)
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« Reply #44 on: November 15, 2017, 07:04:08 AM »

Yes, everything that Karm said. I am honestly a little confused, but I think you will clear that up soon. One thing I really liked, was the hints to the names of the characters from CotA. Cool way to tie it all together, even if I don't understand it all.
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