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Author Topic: Legacy of the Aether  (Read 70359 times)
Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #60 on: January 20, 2018, 09:08:34 PM »

Thanks guys, it will be a tragedy, but for everyone involved...glad I got the sadness and the mess of the decision across!
I re-read it, and I find myself wishing that Odjina's tolerance and the actual actions of the Mak'Tor had weighed a little heavier on Millea's decision making.  The irony I am finding is that the actual guide to her decision making is the rigid legalism of the Kimar-led Jedi.  She's doing what she thinks is right based on the teachings of the Jedi.  Which are leading her to commit mass murder.

How's that for irony.  Awesome touch, LSG.  :-)

That is spot on...I imagine Milaea is caught between the unstoppable force and the immoveable object, trying to keep them apart for as long as she can...but she's only Aethan...I think looking back I probably should've played a bit more on her choice being influenced by the simple fact Sofa and Soryu are temple Jedi so she can't 'betray' them by turning on the temple...hence she feels she has to toe Kimars line. So her solution is in the end fall back on her Grand masters wisdom...for a young Jedi I don't think she can be blamed much for that...but yeah a difficult thing to write precisely.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Karmack
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« Reply #61 on: January 20, 2018, 10:50:55 PM »

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to blame her either.  She's really just taking Kimar's policy to its logical conclusion.  Especially since Kimar is already using his "enforcer" Jedi to do this in other situations.  Or so the rumor mill goes at any rate.

And don't worry about the choice being to subtle.  It was there and the interplay between Milaea and Valens, the factors involved and her struggle to find a workable solution within the framework of their mission is well done.  A part of this is her feeling that she's not really a part of the Jedi Order, either.  It both makes her decision harder - she identifies with the Mak'Tor in a way - and easier, as it shields her from the cognitive dissonance of doing an essentially evil act "for the good of the many".  :-)

Though you dealt with her justification of the choice as well.  "Sometimes even Jedi had to kill." 

But yeah, she's really in between a rock and a hard place.  And a well-crafted point of decision.  Well done, my friend.   :-)
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #62 on: January 21, 2018, 01:18:02 AM »

Chapter 17
Milaea
Corpses littered the ground, she stood atop a wrecked ship of some kind slicing apart red sabred shadows that approached…the sky was an orange and yellow inferno…she killed and killed and killed…still more came…they were at her, dead hands clawed at her feet…dragging her down, the shadow in front of her would not die…but fire - blue fire erupted from her hand, incinerating it…she burnt more and more, she turned her hand to the sky…ships…dreadnoughts rained hell upon her planet, she met fire with fire…the screaming fracturing black hulls hurtled down toward her….

Today

Her eyes opened to the cool dark blue stone wall of her room on Vyth.  She sensed it..Knew it...again

Today

As the dream faded her sense of the real world coalesced…there were more Gray Jedi here…some must’ve arrived from their ‘missions’ doing who know what with no guidance or control from the Republic…another reason they had to be stopped.

She spun out of bed, she would eat, shower just like usual…it was just another day. Then she would visit the Andis which Valens had set down in the Mak'tor hangar to get what she needed, and then…then it was just following her duty as a padawan.
**********************************************************************************************
By the time she reached the training rooms, a large circular cavern well-lit with a white padded floor, all six Teidowans were already in groups sparring, Holly was there even Ty back on his feet.  Eight…half their numbers…but only a third of their strength…

Holly looked over at her, eyes widened in surprise,

“Cute outfit Milaea!” Ty said jovially whilst absently parrying a Teidowan’s Soresu strikes, his injuries hadn’t been great, he seemed more wounded she had taken him by surprise.

Milaea smiled, she was wearing her new armour. It put a physical barrier between her and the others as much as she had built a mental one to detach herself from her feelings as she executed her…was It really hers…judgement.

“ha, thought I would train wearing it today, Master Valens says it helps you learn new ways to move, as you’re forced to adapt to the weight,”

Holly nodded, “Master Valens is full of unique ideas…I like it, please join in, Ly’Al partner up,” the odd Teidowan stood to spar with her.  Milaea came up before and they bowed.  Like mirrors they went into shii-cho defensive stances, like mirrors they drew on the force, and like mirrors they tuned into a battle song.

As she spun, slashed and parried in graceful arcs with the Teidowan she let her mind expand to take in the battle songs of all around her…all in harmony, ebbing and flowing into each other…though opposing they melded through their similarity nature…perhaps it might even be a thing of beauty to some…

She recalled the fight on Korriban…Valens had watched her to learn her weakness…she had done the same for the last two weeks since her decision was made…the taste of betrayal when Valens had attacked her…the stench of death in the force amongst the rotting Sith corpses…the cloying decayed feel dragging you down…all this she added to the rhythm of her song. 

Ly’Al stumbled, Milaea took advantage, with a force charged strike she slammed her practice sword into the side of her face, crushing her skull in.  Blood spurted out into a hideous stain on the girls white raining robe, it blended seamlessly on Milaea’s Bloodstone armour.   

She released practice sword and pivoted her sabre rising into her hand as the other Mak’Tor stumbled, she let her song of death explode into the battle rhythm like a dam bursting, the younger ones clasped their ears in vain to keep it out. 

Her shikkars flew from their sheaths, Holly was moving toward her with a face of utter confusion and strain, the first shikkar stuck her neck blood trickling beside the glass daggers end as the hilt snapped off. 

Before the pair beside her could even disengage from their own combat she had decapitated them both with a wide slash of her amethyst blade. 

“What are you…urcck…” Ty choked out his last word as another shikkar flew into his throat.  She felt a disturbing satisfaction at killing her failed suitor…The glass was forged with a shadowy echo of the force…near impossible to sense unless you had experience with them…no Mak’Tor did. 

Ty’s opponent leapt forward, but seemed to have forgotten he only had a training sword, she cut thought his blade and into his chest, the smell of burnt meant rose from the charred canyon. 

The next pair had regained their senses, dropping their training sword they scrambled to summon their sabres as she approached, one diving toward his gear beside the training mats she sent flying into the wall with bone crunching strength. 

The other managed to ignite their blade, Mialea struck fast and pulled the Teidowan off their feet, ten centimetres in the air…the frantic legs movements were quite funny a detached part of her observed, she threw her sabre, the Teidowan deflected it, but his distraction let her try out a technique Odjina had mentioned, she tore at his spine.

She must’ve over compensated, his chest and stomach erupted in viscera as jagged bone stuck out from his blood and vitae soaked training robe.   Her sabre boomeranged back to her hand and she let him drop and eased off her force dirge. 
In the currents of the force she could hear another…a clawing empty song…Valens had followed her lead. He had left it up to her when to move against the Mak’Tor, she had delayed it only long enough to be sure she knew enough of their techniques that there was nothing more to be gained.

A part of her told her she had gone too far, what she was doing was not the Jedi way…it was wrong…these were her friends…she had trained, ate, talked, laughed with them….but they were fanatics, using violence to serve a false god…weren’t their good works tainted by their lack of oversight and religious delusions…exiled once already for being a threat and still training for war in this very room?

A threat

She pivoted into a tight flurry from a golden blade…Holly was alive…the shikkar hadn’t hit the artery and her healing abilities compensated for the rest. 

Holly kept at her, partially recovered and determined, she parried and spun out, firing her hip blasters with her mind, but Holly was too experienced for such a trick and countered easily. 

They trampled over the bodies, sending training staffs and swords flying at each other, Holly even igniting and sending lightsabres at her, she managed to deflect those and even turn some on her using the force momentum Holly had provided and just giving it a new vector with a light touch. 

She could sense the pain reeling off of Hol’Li’Mack…the disappointment, the fear, the sense of betrayal…she felt it in herself too…she wanted to stop…but the battle was upon her now and she knew she had to see this through.  Holly tried to speak, but it only came out as gargled blood and spittle, Milaea couldn’t bear to hear her anyway…

Holly was slowly failing, the Shikkar in her neck wasn’t fatal but incredibly painful…as Holly attempted to pull at her throat Milaea stuck on an idea…she concentrated on the shard of glass…Holly pressed closer…then she did it…she teleported the glass out of her neck and into the air nearby…blood seeped out and Holly stiffened and shook at the strange sensation, it was all the opening Milaea needed. 

She grasped her in the force and pulled her straight into her sabre.  Their faces pressed against each other and Milaea brushed her lips against the beautiful red haired woman’s…

A part of her was revolted at that - to kiss a woman she had just killed…another part regretted not having thought to keep her alive to serve her own pleasure.

Pushing the thoughts aside she twirled to the left and swung through her friends back.

The force was awash with the death she had unleashed…a part of her told her she shouldn’t enjoy it…and she didn’t really…she looked at the bodies lying about her, especially at Holly…

The Jedi were the Guardians of Peace and Justice…could this truly be the price of that peace…was killing you’re friends the path to justice…she sighed deeply, Jedi were taught to trust in the wisdom of the council and the masters…she felt that trust ebbing out of her as with Holly’s blood as it matted her lovely red hair.
**********************************************************************************************

The Koawan raced down the dark blue stone corridor toward her, white sabre lit, he fired off blasts of force energy and tried to grasp at her spine, but the force concealment techniques Valens had taught her gave him no target…the force simply flowed straight through her as it did the air.

Undeterred he raced on, five metres apart she used the force to pull her blasters beside her head and fire, as he deflected the bolts, she dropped into a kick slide, keeping the blasters at his head level and firing, she slid toward him, sabre out, he quickly moved to block her attack but it only grazed her shoulder armour as she sliced through his left knee. 

She immediately turned into a defensive stance in time to meet his counter attack.  He used the force to balance himself, but struggled with the pain and stress of fending off her light slashes and the blaster bolts.  He went for the kill and unleashed a force blast straight toward her, she staggered back, he used the pause to crush one of the blasters with the force. 

The distance had given her room to move, repositioned on his leg-less left side she hammered at his left shoulder, using the force to tear at his right shoulder, her blows were quick and numerous, her force grasps constant.
Overwhelmed with threats he let slip his balance just for a moment. She instantly reacted, pivoting into a low kick that connected with his stump, he arced in pain and she rose into a slash that severed his left arm at the shoulder. 
The cringing form fell back against the wall, she finished him with a heavy blast of the force…it was stronger than she had intended, the man smashed into and cracked the rock wall, bone, muscle and blood trickled out from the wreckage of his body.

She ran toward the fulcrum of force energy in the main chamber keeping her presence in the force small.  Valens distraction in the Song had died down, the Maenowans and Kage had reasserted control over the force after the surprise attack.  She could sense them straining in the force against the echo like presence of Valens.

She came to an intersection just as a Silver ran past her – the energies of the Kage and Maenowans were so vast she hadn’t sensed Milaea. 

She rapidly struck out and planted her amethyst blade between the Silvers shoulders, still moving forward she stumbled over into the ground, rapidly turning and igniting her orange sabre in spite of the pain, Milaea came down on her, to her credit she kept fighting, but it was inevitable, after three blocks her movements became sloppy…the Silver fired off force blasts into Milaea’s solid repulsive field. 

Milaea retreated a little, but only to stamp down on her thigh, the muscle resisted and the bone fractured beneath her boot, the Silver arced up and thrust her sabre forward in one hand, a crushing grip that caught Milaea’s chest in the other…she felt the armour tighten around her cutting off her breath…the pain arced into a reflex of energy she barely had time to consciously direct into the Silvers direction.

Once again the strength of her blast surprised her, the Silvers head suddenly seemed to vanish and it flung back with a wet crack, bone tight against the stretched skin of her neck. 

She paused for a moment shocked at the brutality of her own actions…she had killed six Teidowans, two Koawans, a Silver and a Maenowan….she was only a Padawan…she shouldn’t be able to do that. 

It was the same terror at herself she had felt after Cygrat….after her vision of the three dark figures….

She had to push on - this was life and death hear and now…she could fear herself later.
**********************************************************************************************
By the chambers doors was the corpse of the other Silver, his right arms severed by a lightsabre, an imperfectly cauterized blaster hole in his abdomen slowly leaking a red black fluid, his face…smashed in as though struck by an industrial mining hammer…a mess of bone, teeth and muscle. 

She pushed open opened the doors to the main chamber, a vast natural hollow with a meeting area built into the centre, a large light grey circle of three steps into a central area with a large circular holo-projector. Natural blue Permafrost crystal formations dotted the columns of rock around the chamber issuing their own light and resonating with the combat song of the Mak’Tor, the echoes of their Dirge lost to Odjina’s harmonies. 

Along the rim of the circle were blacked, mauled corpses, burnt by…some kind of blue flame, flickers remained in the eye sockets of one.  .

At the far end of the circle Valens was holding off the Kage and two Maenowan’s.  Yellow, green, blue and white sabres twirled in a kaleidoscope of colour, the force was pushed and pulled between them, confused thoughts of mental attacks bounced off the walls. 

An odd thought entered her mind…the Gray’s powers was amplified by the Crystals…to heights she had never seen…yet somehow Valens was, though hard pressed to be sure…managing to survive and even land some blows.  Something about that wasn’t…natural.

She had to intervene…she reached out and grasped at the Kage, in a similar way she had done on Cygrat…but the Kage turned and glared at her, her attack petered out against a shockwave of defensive energy, she fired her blasters beside her.  The Kage disengaged from the fight and came at her, batting the red bolts aside before reaching out with his free hand to crush them. 

She surged forward to meet him, she could feel the force building in her just like it had on Cygrat…she sent her last two shikkars at him in long arcs around to either side, he sliced them apart with his sabre almost dismissively.

Momentum behind her, she struck, her sabre bearing down onto his blue, brightening his face with a pale purple, they did not stay locked for long, with a mastery that would put Soryu to shame he pivoted out and the fight truly began. 

Compared to the brutal power of the Sith of Cygrat Odjina was an elegant fighter, he kept moving, used subtle force attacks, patterned on his battle song that guided and strengthened him.  Milaea pulled all the power she could to her just to keep up, high left, then low right, she was on the defensive, his song flowed into his force attacks, precise and in rhythm with his sabre…the force grasped at her throat, her spine, her eyes as his blade targeted her legs, breast, hands…she was hard pressed to deflect anything let alone retaliate with her own. 

For all this she could feel a reluctance in him…he didn’t want to be doing this…had she made a terrible mistake?

His strength and speed pushed her down the steps into the circle, she back flipped away, she did not want him having the high ground, unleashing a blast as she landed, he waved it away and replied two fold.   

What was she thinking…how could anyone defeat a Kage empowered by a mass of crystals that Sang power into his every cell….but the way he looked at her…sadness, confusion…resolve…and concern?

He closed the gap easily, leaping down at her, she twirled aside and parried the rain of blows, she was losing, she was pulling all she could from the force but it wouldn’t flow…the song….the crystals…all the force energies in the room seemed to flow to the Mak’Tor…She could see it…luminous lines pulsing out of the crystals in harmony with the tune Odjina had created….

She fell back further, now solely on the defensive…she tried to copy him...harness her own song…of strength of determination…but he countered…almost wave for wave, melody for melody he negated it….she couldn’t draw anymore force into her…

Within!

The thought suddenly crossed her mind…from Valens…another slice, she rolled to avoid, she couldn’t dare look in his direction…

She pushed back against another force blast…perhaps that was her problem, she was drawing the force from without…perhaps she should unleash the force from within herself…

That quiet part of her told her not to, but it was becoming ever smaller, she unleashed.  She didn’t just parry, she pushed, she went mid, left, high, high, low, putting the stunned Odjina on the defensive.  Her attacks came thick and fast, it was not any one style but an amalgam of all of them and some moves she didn’t even know she had learnt.

She could swear her arms had purple flecks of energy coming off them for a moment.

No…this was wrong…she saw the strain start to appear on the Kage’s face and instantly her own doubt started to slow her…

Odjina..why was she fighting Odjina…because he didn’t follow the life sucking Jedi dogmatism of Kimar – a dogmatism that her own master flaunted with her sexual relationship with Valens and vanity?

Was it worth killing Holly because she refused the oversight of a corrupt Republic…as the flush of battle faded it just didn’t make sense anymore…he kept a strong defence, and a steady draw on the force…she was being slowed by her own uncertainty and he knew it. 

She was doubting…he started launching probing attacks as her energy dwindled…the Permafrost strengthened his Song as her doubts overwhelmed her….
Was this what it was to be a Jedi, to obey the council to the point of fighting a man who had accepted her, comforted her, trained with her?

She was flagging, he increased the pressure, she was failing, he pushed her down toward the centre of the circle…

She was exhausted, tired of the war in her own mind, she only just deflected as he twisted into a downward slash, but it scored a dark line into her chest armour...

She was done, his sabre attack had been one handed, she hadn’t noticed, his body rounded with the other fist straight into the side of her head.
**********************************************************************************************
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

TheDutchman
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« Reply #63 on: January 21, 2018, 02:22:40 PM »

And that's why you don't mess with the Kage!  Cool

Ahem, sorry.  That was intense!  Tight, incredible action, pangs of regret, drama, and conviction... Just...wow  Shocked

Well, Milaea has finally gone over that moral event horizon, at least as we see it.  I know that one of the tenets that Aethans share is an insular concern that doesn't translate to human mores... BUT, Mlaea was raised with such a moral compass; but the Goddess was not.  THIS is the dichotomy that makes her such an intriguing character...and frightening.  Regardless of genetic imperative, her's was a choice.  Made all the more terrible considering the fact that the Mak'Tor were acquaintances if not friends, friends who had taken them in.

Superb writing LSG.  And haunting.
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My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
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« Reply #64 on: January 21, 2018, 11:26:39 PM »

And that's why you don't mess with the Kage!  Cool

Haha, exactly what I was thinking. There is a reason why Odjina is the highest person of authority in the Mak'Tor. But this is seriously great writing. Your battles are intense, and have a very "mystical" almost feel to them, but at the same time, they are completely realistic (for the SW universe anyways). Can't wait to see what comes next.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Karmack
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« Reply #65 on: January 22, 2018, 03:11:28 PM »

LSG, that was intense.  Wow... 

As I was reading it, though, the main emotion that it evoked in me was sorrow.  This is a truly tragic scene.  Milaea has certainly turned a corner, but I don't agree that she's crossed an event horizon.  This wasn't like someone selling out to one side or the other.  It was a girl choosing and only after she's launched into her chosen course of action, once the consequences are unavoidable, does she realize that she didn't have all the information and she doubts her choice.  Regrets it even.

Powerful writing.  So much sorrow.  Milaea.  Odjina.  Valens.  Holly.

And its not over.  We see Milaea go down with a non-leathal blow to the head.  Even in this, Odjina is merciful.  But...

Valens.

The fight isn't over.

LSG, this is great narrative.  I find myself wishing you'd written the story for the fall of Anakin Skywalker.  This kind of struggle, this kind of sorrow and pathos - this is what was missing in Ep 2 and 3.

And... One 'structural' note...   Hol'Li'Mack was the holder of the Ancient One.  Just a note everyone, in case it comes up later.  Seems the crystal has a thing for Clan Mack.  :-)
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #66 on: January 22, 2018, 04:46:53 PM »

LSG, that was intense.  Wow... 

As I was reading it, though, the main emotion that it evoked in me was sorrow.  This is a truly tragic scene.  Milaea has certainly turned a corner, but I don't agree that she's crossed an event horizon.  This wasn't like someone selling out to one side or the other.  It was a girl choosing and only after she's launched into her chosen course of action, once the consequences are unavoidable, does she realize that she didn't have all the information and she doubts her choice.  Regrets it even.
While I agree that you are right with almost everything else, I respectfully disagree about her "moral event horizon."  It was her decisions that led to those actions, even with her doubts filling her.  True, she does regret it but that doesn't stop her from continuing.  Just my opinion  Smiley
Quote
Powerful writing.  So much sorrow.  Milaea.  Odjina.  Valens.  Holly.

And its not over.  We see Milaea go down with a non-leathal blow to the head.  Even in this, Odjina is merciful.  But...

Valens.

The fight isn't over.
Again: SO TRUE

Quote
LSG, this is great narrative.  I find myself wishing you'd written the story for the fall of Anakin Skywalker.  This kind of struggle, this kind of sorrow and pathos - this is what was missing in Ep 2 and 3.
OMG Yes!  THIS is the kind of pathos that Anakin SHOULD have felt/experienced.

Quote
And... One 'structural' note...   Hol'Li'Mack was the holder of the Ancient One.  Just a note everyone, in case it comes up later.  Seems the crystal has a thing for Clan Mack.  :-)
Yeah, I can't WAIT to see what you (Karm) do with the Ancient One and Mellichae!
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
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« Reply #67 on: January 22, 2018, 09:40:26 PM »

While I agree that you are right with almost everything else, I respectfully disagree about her "moral event horizon."  It was her decisions that led to those actions, even with her doubts filling her.  True, she does regret it but that doesn't stop her from continuing.  Just my opinion  :)Again: SO TRUE


So much speculation guys! I'm glad I succeeded in making the situation, the motivations, the emotions so ambiguous! What I always loved in Star Wars was Obi-Wans talk about 'a certain point of view' that changes how you see a particular event, and by extension interpret its meaning, this is how i want Milaea and the Aethans to appear, both the bad guys, the good and the all too fallible guys, going too far or not far enough depending on your point of view!
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Lord_S_Gray
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 428
Posts: 1903



« Reply #68 on: January 22, 2018, 09:52:11 PM »

Chapter 18
The Song of Vyth

Her body flew back and crumpled against the holo projector in the centre of the circle.  The poor confused girls head drooped into unconsciousness, more from emotional fatigue than his blow.

Odjina could feel the fight behind him…the hideousness of the betrayal still echoed in painful rhythms in his song…but worse…much worse was to come…he opened himself to the Permafrost crystals, allowing their resonating rhymes to fill his body to the brim.
********************************************************************************
He had struck Milaea….

HE HAD STRUCK MILAEA

He had to die.

Valens held no antipathy toward Odjina until now, he was just another Jedi on Kimars hit list, had Milaea chosen otherwise he’d have happily assisted the Mak’Tor by killing Kimar.

But the audacity to strike Milaea could not be forgiven...whilst he knew intellectually this was not the first, nor the last time someone would harm her…the fact he saw it meant he could NOT allow it to go unpunished.

His mouth twitched with rage, his free hand clenched into a fist causing the Maenowon he was fighting to suddenly crumple inwardly, blood spurting from every orifice. It hadn’t even been conscious attack on his part…the suddenness of the rage filled attack taking her off guard.   

Now there was just the Kage and himself…the other Maeonwan having gone on an accelerated trip into the sudden stop of a rocky pillar half a minute earlier.

He would not allow him to touch her again.  All restraint was lost…He poured lighting straight at the Kage.
********************************************************************************
As he caught the arcs of pure blue energy on his blade Odjina finally realised.

He could see him now…see him for what he truly was….the crystals let him see through the force…Valens bled black light… And behind him the shadowy spectre ancient evil…the song…the crystals, the very force itself provided a name for what this wretch represented…

Sith

 “Sith Demon!,” he screamed through the crackling air as though the words themselves were a curse.

What else could he term this…abomination but a Demon… the product of hideous science and sorcery that used flesh as material, the force as mere ingredient to twist the Makers creation in defiance of all natural laws intent on breaching a Divine one. 

Their blade spun in a furious dance as the storm of Valens lightning and the blue glow of the Permafrost lit the cavern around them.  Not a single blow or parry was anything less than perfect, precise and utterly deadly, a millimetre off and the humming sabre would kill the other.

“I can see you” Odjina seethed, the hate, the power…the manipulation, the shocking, utter psychotic lack of empathy for anyone but his own people…

Valens represented the most egregious mirror Odjina could imagine to the Mak’Tor, who had accepted him, embraced him a bedraggled orphan of Ryloth…had taught him how to express the truth his heart always knew, that there was a power that combined all the seemingly random strains in the Universe, that cared and guided all…the Maker.   

Valens seemed to ignore his words, maintaining the fatal conflagrations of green blade and blue lighting whilst also dragging stray rocks, crates - and in intentional acts of defilement - the bodies of the Mak’Tor he had slain at him.

No respect for the dead…for anything ...Whilst they strived to understand and serve the Maker, these Sith sought to make themselves Gods through horrendous, unrestrained dark technology and sadistic arts.

Valens cut off his stream of lightning pressed forward - their blades clashing and flickering white in a lock. 

The force surged between them, each pushing at the other, rocks and crystal shards tore from the wall.  Valens tried to teleport out the Odjina’s saber from his hand, the song saturated energy that flowed through him rippled and repelled the attack. 

They spun out of the lock with reverse blows, their blades kissed in the air.
********************************************************************************
The fool believed he was a Sith lord and Milaea his apprentice...he could hardly blame him, they had just killed his entire order in the space of ten minutes. 

The Song…the damn song and the crystals were granting the Kage unnatural strength and a steady flow of high level force energy…it negated the advantage he and Milaea would normally have in wearing their enemies down by forcing them to use the force in an extreme, physically damaging way…the song gave the Kage strength and preserved his body from buckling under the exertion of such power.

He kept his defence up, moving gradually backwards as he gave into his annoyance and rage to set lighting coursing over his body, a shield that flickered to burn the Kage when he got too close…it was of no use the song shifted - a rise in tempo ate the arcs before they could hit. 
********************************************************************************
He kept the pressure on the creature…a true Demon.

Everything Valens had said was true…Kimar was killing Jedi…but Valens was the assassin…he felt pity for Kimar, something he never imagined he could feel…Kimar, Grand Master of the Jedi, the Orthodox, the Inflexible, was himself a pawn of this atrocity.

He backtracked from the arcs of energy, they change their wavelength to score small burns on him, he adjusted the song to neutralise them in turn, the permafrost crystals and the living force performing the slight calculations his conscious mind had no time for.

And worse…far worse was this things plans…he could see it all…  Not content with his own detestable existence he sought to pervert Milaea into a bloody abomination of unceasing lust and violence – a Goddess created in the image of a Xenophobic, paranoid and unashamedly carnal race.

He had to destroy this creature.  Whatever losses suffered by the Mak’Tor…his grief was turned to resolves as he saw how even Holly’s death paled into insignificance compared to what this vile lich would do if he could control the raw power of Milaea.
********************************************************************************
In every fight…every war between evenly matched opponents there is a point…a pivotal moment when any one can win and the ending just depends on who will go further in that moment…who will take the greatest risk.

This was that moment.

The room was a swirling hurricane of energy, debris, bodies, the very stone buckling under the strength they were unleashing against each other.

Odjina stood infused with the Song…a song of battle, of hope, of fear, despair, betrayal, resolve…a hundred emotions as his every cell beat in time with the permafrost that fuelled him, an indelible trace of this moment etched into the fabric of the crystal lattice and even the dead stone that held it. 

Valens burning with the despair and gnawing drive to survive, the phantoms of his dead people screaming into his ear, a relic of a civilization long dead trying to hold itself together, empowered by generations of horrific uninhibited self-experimentation.

Milaea…alone…unconscious, the pivot upon which the fate of the galaxy rested.

********************************************************************************

Valens divided his attention…it was risky…but Aethan reflexes were superior enough to let him keep Odjina’s blade at bay…for a few seconds…

He lowered the shields within him to divery some energy to create a small aetheric void just infront of him, it was small, but the dead patch was just enough to distract Odjina and take he edge of his power by negating the Song.

He focused on his targets saw the lines…the faults, the fractures…

He let the rocks and rubble bruise and slam into his body, the Kage sliced a cold burning line in his left side. He repointed his aetheric energies

He fired.

A howl of pain erupted in the song as his aetheric lances pierced and shattered half a dozen crystal formations, he quickly used the lapse in the Kage concentration to shatter four more...but Odjina recovered in time to block another two.

The Kage began to reassert his song…but its volume could not reach the same peak as before.  Incensed the Twi’lek battered down even harder, he took the risk to parry one handed and shot an arc of blue lighting into another cluster…it was a bold move and the Kage immediately pivoted round and managed to glance his blade through several layers of skin before he could bring his arm back….

It had worked, the lighting cracked the cluster and chained into three...four…five more before dissipating…all the crystals were channelling energy into the Kage with such a precise balance driven by the perfection of his song that the unnatural energies forced into their lattice caused them to overload.
********************************************************************************

Now the tide turned…bereft of half the crystals power Odjina was on the defensive, Valens reignited his lighting shield and pressed forward.  Even without the ocean of power to lift him Odjina kept his blade in firm defence, his blows consistent. 

But even as he kept Valens at bay, the abomination got off more shots, shattering more clusters in the rock…each one a searing psychical pain, the crystals were now as much a part of his body as his own cells, their pain was his…his song, his connection to the crystals was both strength and weakness.

He drew forth the sabres of the dead and added them to the swirled of rocks and detritus that flew about them, he was running low on strength and concentration…he recalled Holly’s analysis of Valens and Milaea…they would only last 2 or 3 minutes before they were exhausted against the super humans.  With the Permafrost power cut in half, and Valens drawing on energies Odjina could not consciously comprehend, he had perhaps another thirty seconds. 

He diverted all the conscious effort he could into the extra sabres, his song flowing into his fallen friends crystals, heeding his call to fight, the air around Valens was filled with half a dozen blades, blue, yellow, green, white a veritable kaleidoscope all trying to break through…only his super human reflexes kept him from being overwhelmed. 

He pushed hard at the Sith, he could see the strain on Valens face, a mirror of his own exhaustion…each second using this much power without the crystals healing him was ripping him apart…

He was in an impossible situation…he needed the crystals power to both keep the attack up and keep him energized…whilst he had the full power of the crystals he had half powering his blows, half keeping his body from rending itself asunder under the sheer weight of energy pouring through it…now it was all dedicated to matching the Sith while his body slowly decayed, to divert any energy to healing would leave him at a slight disadvantage that Valens would undoubtedly punish.

He grasped and clutched in the force, trying to find fatal purchase…but he just couldn’t…he threw blast after blast but Valens burned through them, his body an electric fire…an ancient God of Thunder and Storm come to life - and sworn to destroy him.

********************************************************************************

He pushed a mid-blow back hard to open space, the Kage could not long sustain this kind of power raw without the healing power, Odjina started dropping the flying sabres one by one.

Valens immediately grasped at them, sending them back, Odjina deflected, shattered and deactivated them, only to be struck in the chest with Valens next lighting blast before he could catch it. 

He flew back but rolled into a low guard as Valens closed, they clashed and spun, but his strength was waning…the death song had begun…he caught the fraying thread of the music -he could never have done this at the height of Odjina’s song - and started adding his own song - the dirge of his peoples suffering …its hollow depths soaked up and morphed the empowering highs of the battle song into a dying rhythm of pain and loss, his peoples and the Mak’Tor’s…

********************************************************************************

This was the Song of Vyth, an overture of warmth and welcome, that turned increasingly sour and sharp as Milaea realised she could not bridge the gap between the Jedi and the Mak’Tor – a deep and sorrowful resolution followed by a sudden sharp note of betrayal.

A crescendo into a clashing battle, a dip as Milaea’s theme fell from the song, replaced by the peaks of the battle between the two force vergences of the force over the chance to be the one there to comfort her when she awoke.

The denouement - the dour tones of the fallen Mak’Tor, an ironic echo of the devastation of the Aethans, flowed into the requiem Odjina’s defiant end.

********************************************************************************

The largest of the crystals were shattered, the song drowning…the Kage cut a noble figure fighting against Valens superior strength,

Determination still in his eyes as Valens pierced through Odjina’s thigh with the tip of his green blade

Defiance in his scowl as Valens severed his left hand

Pride and honour beat out in the song, even on the ground as his sabre was ripped from his hand by the aether - Odjina tried to fight back with his bare fists, laid low by a kick to the face, his legs cut off at the knee then his other arm at the elbow. 

A final stream of lightning crashed him into the holo projector, leaving a heavy dent that propped the Kage up in a sitting position.

He was just beside Milaea, her quiet breath a song all of its own. 

Valens stared into the Kage’s eye as he brought his blade to his throat. He could feel Odjina with his last ebbs of life trying to sense him, to find a way to fight back.

The betrayal - “You…are no Jedi” Odjina rasped

The aimlessness of killing those who posed no threat and whose deaths offered no gain - “No Sith…”

The deathly echoes of Valens song subsided – “no…balance…no grace…no respect…” he stammered on whilst trying to right himself in defiance.

Deactivating his lightsabre he gripped the Kage’s face in his hand and closed almost nose to nose.

“There is nothing to respect, no balance, no Maker, no right and no wrong - there is death,” he spat in his face, then pointed to the corpses around them,

“And there is life,” he pointed to Milaea, her chest slowly rising and falling with each breath, “Nothing more,”

The Kage coughed blood as he sputtered…”only death you see…only death you’ll find,” his bloodied eyes looked around the cavern, “my song…the M..Maahhk’Tor…live…”

Valens gave him a spiteful smile as he plunged into his defenceless mind with less precision than he usually would, ripping out what knowledge he could brutally, crushing cherished memories, leaving only the pain of seeing his friends and students massacred.

“Now you can truly see,” Valens taunted.  Odjina looked at him with tear filled eyes. As Valens crushed his skull between his bare hands the Twi’leks body dissipated into the force, leaving his hands empty yet still smeared with blood…

He stared at his dripping fingers…

Was this all he was.
********************************************************************************

Logged

Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

TheDutchman
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« Reply #69 on: January 22, 2018, 10:52:06 PM »

...Wow.

Just...wow.

This was your best yet LSG.  Odjina reminds me of the ancient samurai lord that defends his family, lands, and self from a powerful ronin and--despite his death--is the victor.  Unfortunately, the Kage's end is not so...poetic.  

Is Milaea--and by extension, Valens--objects of scorn or pity?  I doubt any of us would completely agree.  But, as you said, that's the beauty of interpretation: "point of view."  

Regardless, now having "seen" the Tragedy of Odjina, this was truly an incredible piece of artistry.  Which is why I believe that our collaborations are truly wonderful; I KNOW that my own writing benefits from all of us working together like we have been  Wink  And seeing the Vyth Mak'Tor succumbing to Valens' and Milaea's assault... Again: wow.

Superlative writing  Cheesy
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« Reply #70 on: January 22, 2018, 11:09:19 PM »

Yes, like TD said, this was your best chapter yet. Seeing the strength of a Master of Song such as Odjina, is incredible, but the fact that his strength is also a weakness, that was beautifully done. Valens is scary. I know we have talked about this in other stories, but his utter disregard for the life of anyone but the Aethans, that is what makes him so dangerous. Milaea at least was raised with the morals of the Jedi code, and even with its many flaws, it still upholds what is right. Valens doesn't have that. He was raised as to be a Guardian. Someone who would do whatever it took to survive, and protect their loved ones. And we still see him doing this. I am interested to see how you end this one, because I don't think it is something that Milaea will ever recover from. Anyways, great job. I only hope my story can be 1/4 of as good as yours.
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« Reply #71 on: January 22, 2018, 11:38:22 PM »

I have to run, I'll have more later... 

That as amazing. 

I wonder when Valens will realize that in the ways that matter ... Odjina won?  ;-)
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« Reply #72 on: January 23, 2018, 04:34:35 AM »

LSG, I wanted to add...  Your descriptions of the song, especially as Odjina faided, the death song, and then adding his own, the Song of Vyth.  That was epic.  Thank you for that excellent treatment, my friend. 

*bows*

But the most intriguing thing, on reading it again, was Odjina's final statement. 

And if Karmack ever meets one of these guys, I SOOOO have to work in the phrase: "I find your lack of faith ... disturbing."  ;-)
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #73 on: January 23, 2018, 05:25:04 AM »

Thanks guys glad it lived up to the 'Tragedy of Odjina' you sprinkled in your own stories on my behalf that has given it a true 'legacy' in the minds of the Mak'Tor (even if by Karmack's time it has been mythologized a bit) and other Gray Jedi.  But its not quite over yet....
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #74 on: January 23, 2018, 07:34:02 AM »

Yeah.  I am looking forward to the ending.  :-) 
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