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Author Topic: Ripples in the dark: A beginning.  (Read 12218 times)
Illyiss
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« Reply #30 on: February 25, 2018, 12:37:48 AM »

Illyiss your story is so much fun to read!  Thank you for sharing.  I had not picked up on the Scandinavian/Finnish connection but I greatly appreciate the effort!  But beyond that, your narrative abilities and lyrical style with the language are just so much fun to read!  Awesome!



Thank you, good sir, I am glad to share what swims in my head.
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #31 on: February 25, 2018, 01:26:22 AM »

Very perceptive.  Yes, there are some definate influences of the far Northern Europeans, and the language is borrowed and made slightly more SWarzy from Finnish.   

Thank you, and I hope everyone is enjoying reading as much as I am writing.
Enjoying you say? 

Most definitely!!

I am eager to read more of your excellent narrative!
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Illyiss
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« Reply #32 on: February 25, 2018, 01:40:12 AM »

Enjoying you say? 

Most definitely!!

I am eager to read more of your excellent narrative!

Thank you good sir.  That my writing gives entertainment, is my most sincere hope in penning it.
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Peace is a lie...

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Illyiss
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« Reply #33 on: March 10, 2018, 02:47:40 PM »

My apologies for the delay, I have been fighting my own demons.  I hope you enjoy this next snippet. 

Chapter 6

************************************************************************************

"Finally!" thought Var'jo, as he sat at his assigned workstation, having sat through the lectures on lightsaber construction (for the second time for all of them, but the Masters insisted they have the full length refresher before starting), and having gathered his materials, he would finally be able to construct his OWN lightsaber.  He could feel similar levels of excitement from all the other Padawans in the work area, the Force in the room a swirling carnival of thrill and fervor.

Recognizing the imbalance in himself, he set down all his parts, sat up straight, closed his eyes, and took several deep, calming breaths, entering into a meditative state that allowed him to calm his feelings, and commune with the Force, seeking to allow help guide him.  At first he could still feel the cacophony of the room, though he slowly pulled back from it, and he could feel, for a few moments longer, La'ulu, entering her own serene meditation, as he drifted deeper into the calming familiarity of the Force.

As he flowed further into the state, he could sense the Force more deeply, feel the pulsing rhythm of it, like the drums of his people.  First, heavy and fast, and all jumbled, as though all the drummers were pounding their own racing tempo; but slowly, as he sank deeper and deeper into the meditation, the cadence slowed, one drum, which he knew was his own essence took lead, slowing, calming, and the rest fell to first the background, then to a distant, barely perceptible din.  Finally, reaching what looked roughly like an ice and crystal lined cave, which he knew to be his mind's construct within the Force, his essence settled, and he opened himself even more, inviting the Force to guide him, offer him wisdom in constructing his saber.  As well as his own, soon he felt the pulse of his crystal, which he had named Si'elu Ta-onta, or "soul fire" in the speech of his people, joining him in his seeking.

Within the cave, deep in the Force guided vision, Var'jo could see all the parts he had collected, more than he would need, though options were worth having, and he could see his crystal, perhaps more clearly than the inert parts, as distinct as he himself appeared, for certain.  Within the meditation, he allowed the Living Force to guide him, to flow through him as he gathered first the parts for the crystal chamber, building a strong, reinforced chamber, that was yet crafted with beauty, imprinting his essence into the work, as well as that of the crystal to call it home, which seemed to glow and pulse strongly as it seated within.  From there, he crafted carefully the power field conductor, and inserted the extended power cell he had selected, seating them securely to the aft of the crystal chamber.

Next, he aligned and installed the focusing crystal lenses he had found, secretly pleased when Huyang, the Jedi's prime lightsaber designer and engineer, a driod of considerable knowledge and experience, remarked at his "advanced choice".  Carefully tweaking the positions and alignments, as the guiding rhythm of the force, and Si'elu Ta-onta, flowed through him, he felt the satisfaction flow gently through him as the positioning became just right.  He continued through the rest of the precise and important inner workings, and then checked the alignment twice over, to both make sure it was all correct, and commit it to memory.

For the exterior, he had chosen segments of dark metal, smooth polished, with several machined grooves fore and aft.  The metal had resonated strongly with him, and he had recognized it as the same type of alloy he had learned was from his home planet, made strong by the process by which it was forged.  Taking his time, he went over every centimeter of the body, inside and out, over and over, smoothing any blemish, the thrumming drumbeat of his essence suffusing the casing, filling it with his purpose, his essence, connecting to it within the force.  This was not something he had learned, but allowed himself to be guided by the Force, the crystal, as to how and what he was doing.  he paid careful attention, doing everything he could to commit the process to memory, so that he could recreate it again.

That seemingly complete, he levitated the inner chassis and the body, containing them both in a sphere of his Force energy, allowing the thrumming beat of each element to synchronize, with one another, and his own Force presence.  Only then, when the parts and he were in harmony, did he slide the inner assembly into the body, aligning the position carefully, joining the switch in the body to the workings of the chassis.  He marveled at the sleek, solid design, and the very agreeable heft and balance in the hilt as it came to his hand naturally.  With a smile, he began to withdraw from the meditation, thankful of the guidance of the Force, and of Si'elu Ta-onta, eager to put into application what he had learned and accomplished in his meditations.

********************************************************************

With a slow stretch, Var'jo leisurely allowed his senses to return to the present, though he was met immediately with the distinct, unexpected sensation of his posterior coming into contact with his seat.  Next, he realized that his right hand was gripped comfortably around a cylindrical object, and object which felt familiar, though he was certain he was just about to construct that item.  Opening his eyes, he confirmed, with a touch of a startle, that he was, in fact, holding the lightsaber that he had constructed in his meditation.  Blinking several times to verify his vision, he tentatively reached out with the Force, and felt the warm, familiar presence of Si'elu, and the careful construction of his saber.

Looking around, he noticed that several of the other Padawan had gathered, as well as Huyang, with looks of wonder upon their faces, though he noted that from her work station, Ch'rianna sneered derisively at him.  He only smiled back at her, before looking up to the droid, moving forward to inspect his work before allowing him to test it.

"What... why is everyone staring, Sir?"  Var'jo's voice was already deepening, and he was still getting used to that, but the confusion in his voice was clear.

"Well, young Padawan, you entered a meditation, within which you levitated first yourself, then all of your parts, and over the better part of eight hours, telepathically assembled your saber."  The warm, if mechanical voice responded, as the long time instructor and engineer inspected the boy's work carefully, turning it over several times in his appendages.  "Interesting, how did you learn the technique to infuse the material with the force?  That technique has been lost to the Jedi for some time."  Huyang's voice conveyed his excited curiosity, and his appreciation for the workmanship.  Handing the saber back to Var'jo, he intoned with great interest, "It seems stable, give it a try."

"EIGHT HOURS!"  He thought to himself.  He could scarce believe he had been in meditation so long, let alone that he had ACTUALLY been constructing his saber as he was doing so.  It was then that he noticed several things;  he was ravenously hungry and thirsty, and that he was covered in sweat.  Ignoring all that for now, he accepted back his prize creation, filled with pride and anticipation.

Pushing down his excitement, confidence in his work filling him, he slid into a beginning guard position, saber held before him, and angled toward where his opponent would be, Var'jo pressed the ignition button for the first time, and grinned as the strong orange blade screamed to life, deep, pulsing thrum filling the room as he moved it confidently through several dulon, before deactivating the blade, his grin still prominent on his face.  From within the saber, he could feel Si'elu thrumming in time with his own satisfaction and sense of accomplishment. 
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TheDrunkenConsular
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« Reply #34 on: March 10, 2018, 05:20:32 PM »

That was an EXCELLENT saber building sequence!  Inspires me to want to write another one myself!
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Illyiss
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« Reply #35 on: March 10, 2018, 05:29:56 PM »

That was an EXCELLENT saber building sequence!  Inspires me to want to write another one myself!

Thank you good sir.  It was fun to write, and research some of the specifics as well.  I am tempted to write another construction sequence, but am letting the story decide if it wants to tell itself or not.
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Karmack
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« Reply #36 on: March 10, 2018, 09:27:28 PM »

Illyiss, that was an amazing sequence!  I've often imagined what saber-building would actually be like.  I've written a couple of sequences myself, but they were never that detailed or beautiful.  Thank you, that as AMAZING!  I'll take this kind of scene over a good action sequence any day!  :-)
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Illyiss
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« Reply #37 on: March 10, 2018, 09:35:21 PM »

Thank you all. Smiley
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #38 on: March 10, 2018, 11:19:24 PM »

As have TDC and Karm, I've written a saber construction sequence but certainly not with them depth of detail nor enjoyment in reading it as you've provided.  The serenity of the scene was perfect.  I remember reading Kevin J Anderson's "Jedi Academy" trilogy (meh) and one of the characters built a sophisticated, advanced saber.  That scene is a pale comparison with what you've written in this chapter  Smiley

I'm eager to see what happens to Var'jo next!
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My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Illyiss
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« Reply #39 on: March 10, 2018, 11:27:45 PM »

As have TDC and Karm, I've written a saber construction sequence but certainly not with them depth of detail nor enjoyment in reading it as you've provided.  The serenity of the scene was perfect.  I remember reading Kevin J Anderson's "Jedi Academy" trilogy (meh) and one of the characters built a sophisticated, advanced saber.  That scene is a pale comparison with what you've written in this chapter  Smiley

I'm eager to see what happens to Var'jo next!

Thank you, good sir.  I am curious as well. Wink
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #40 on: March 11, 2018, 01:04:44 AM »

As the others noted, a great sequence...one thing i liked was the slightly factory nature of the setting - at an 'assigned workstation' with droid overseer amongst the other padawans...but yeah this crystal of his...its got a strange hold on him...
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« Reply #41 on: March 11, 2018, 01:10:50 AM »

Like the others, I have written a saber construction scene (well, technically a saber repair scene), and even though I did the research to know the correct names of pieces and how they went together and such, it was not nearly as beautiful as yours. Wonderfully done. One of the prominent things in that chapter was how long he was meditating for. That I think was my actual favorite part of the chapter, because (in my mind at least) it should take someone an extremely long time to connect with their saber. Well done. Plus, it's Orange. Grin
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Illyiss
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There are shadows darker still...


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« Reply #42 on: March 11, 2018, 01:18:41 AM »

As the others noted, a great sequence...one thing i liked was the slightly factory nature of the setting - at an 'assigned workstation' with droid overseer amongst the other padawans...but yeah this crystal of his...its got a strange hold on him...

Thank you.  Interesting that you find that the crystal has a hold on him.

Like the others, I have written a saber construction scene (well, technically a saber repair scene), and even though I did the research to know the correct names of pieces and how they went together and such, it was not nearly as beautiful as yours. Wonderfully done. One of the prominent things in that chapter was how long he was meditating for. That I think was my actual favorite part of the chapter, because (in my mind at least) it should take someone an extremely long time to connect with their saber. Well done. Plus, it's Orange. Grin

Thank you as well.  I was trying to convey that he had lost track of time, in addition to not realizing how much he was connecting with the physical world in his meditation.  I am glad that came across noticeably.  I think he still has some time ahead of him to fully connect with the saber, but there was a lot of invested energy...
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