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Author Topic: The Collected Works of Illyiss  (Read 2960 times)
Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #75 on: June 11, 2018, 03:48:35 PM »

Common theme in these four seems to be this Queen...and wow that's a lot of dedication wrapped in a amazing set you your simple (i don't think any one line gets past four words!) yet absolutely startling imagery and metaphors - especially "brilliant soft points" which is full of color (blue white, red, green) and the oceanic parallels strongest in "This moment suspends".  Maybe its just me but this is like the kind of thing I imagine a darker Tristan/Lancelot writing to Isolde/Guinevere.   
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Taegin Roan
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« Reply #76 on: June 11, 2018, 07:25:28 PM »

Common theme in these four seems to be this Queen...and wow that's a lot of dedication wrapped in a amazing set you your simple (i don't think any one line gets past four words!) yet absolutely startling imagery and metaphors - especially "brilliant soft points" which is full of color (blue white, red, green) and the oceanic parallels strongest in "This moment suspends".  Maybe its just me but this is like the kind of thing I imagine a darker Tristan/Lancelot writing to Isolde/Guinevere.   

Very good parallel here. I didn't think about it when I first read them, but after reading your comment, I whole-heartedly agree.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the first order down." - Poe Dameron

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Illyiss
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« Reply #77 on: June 15, 2018, 11:52:28 PM »

All alone
Not one soul
Giving face
Voices echo
Screaming,screaching
Whispers, murmers
Shouts and yells
Cacaphonic overload
Thousands of thousands
Tales and tells
Advice and critique
All eternity
Fractured infinite
Laughing void
Tender nirvana
Swirling slicing
A mind unhinged
Connection complete
Download or delusion
Pain from the flood
Or loss from the first
Is murder our only forever...
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Peace is a lie...

Jedi Council of Ohio

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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #78 on: June 16, 2018, 07:51:35 PM »

Took a few reads but i think i get this one now..the start bit sounds like someone who is subject to sensory overload of some kind experiencing an overload from all the sounds...yet still alone...then it seems like 'advice and critiques' basically send them in a swirling madness it resolves back to the start with "Pain from the flood/Or loss from the first" - is the apin from the flood of sensory information or the isolation ending is a chilling but pertinent question, are these two things both fleeting and the reality of the abyss the only true forever thing.  Complex but so succinct and as always thought provoking.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Illyiss
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There are shadows darker still...


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« Reply #79 on: July 15, 2018, 12:01:35 PM »

I'm not okay.

Except I am.

That's what you see, the face I wear.

Inside it hurts, it forges me hard.

The passion, the fire, the love so strong.

Apart, away, with no word, just faith.

Despite the flame, dark cold edges in.

I battle the ill, the flaw of soul.

I trust, I love, I hold belief in us.

Caught between love and depression.

I cry, I struggle, I fight to tread water.

I believe in you, I believe in us.

Every day as well, I believe in me, though that is the struggle.

You with I, one day shall be, I know my heart in glee.

I am okay.

Except I'm not.
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Peace is a lie...

Jedi Council of Ohio

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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #80 on: July 15, 2018, 06:51:22 PM »

I'm not okay.

Except I am.

I am okay.

Except I'm not.

That is a genius mirror start and finish.  Has a very kind of 'Not Waving but drowning' feel about it, i don't think there's anyone that isn't doing this in some way, covering up something that cutting inside, but its okay in a way, but its not. As always you speak to common experiences that one doesn't really reflect one is or has (or will) experienced in such an eloquent way.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

TheDutchman
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« Reply #81 on: July 16, 2018, 05:15:57 AM »

Superb poignancy as always Illyiss.  I believe that most (if not all of us) can empathize with this, and so much more than "duality of man" labels.

A sword may appreciate the fires of the forge as necessary but that doesn't translate as liking them.  So too with adversity.  What's ironic is that through progressive resistance do we become stronger.

But I don't have to like it.
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Karmack
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« Reply #82 on: July 16, 2018, 08:17:50 AM »

Thank you Illyiss.  Powerful and poignant.  With any love comes pain, we are all flawed and end up hurting those we love the most.

And I want to echo LSG: the use of mirror images beginning and end is excellent construction.  :-)  Nicely done!
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« Reply #83 on: July 16, 2018, 11:54:37 AM »

Damn. Well done Illyiss.
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The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine. - Nikola Tesla

Illyiss
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« Reply #84 on: July 19, 2018, 08:10:06 PM »

When you meet someone and fall
By inches and degrees
Step by spoken word
Quietly the heart of you
Beats to now another
The space within you grows
All of you, to each of them
Never growing cold
Even when they've gone away
Or never feel the same way
So leaps and bounds
Pile on deep inside
The love, which fills
Beside the ache that chills
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Peace is a lie...

Jedi Council of Ohio

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Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #85 on: July 19, 2018, 11:29:47 PM »

Illyiss, this is a beautiful look at and description of a relationship.  The initial pass and I wanted to think it was in reference to a romantic relationship, but this goes so much deeper than that.  This is real love, real relationship, the kind of connections that expand our lives and make it worth living - even when we know they're not permanent.  The imagery of hearts beating together, of lives filling  the nooks and crannies of each other's existence...   

Thank you, sir.  This is awesome.   
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #86 on: July 20, 2018, 02:46:14 PM »

Illyiss, this is a beautiful look at and description of a relationship.  The initial pass and I wanted to think it was in reference to a romantic relationship, but this goes so much deeper than that.  This is real love, real relationship, the kind of connections that expand our lives and make it worth living - even when we know they're not permanent.  The imagery of hearts beating together, of lives filling  the nooks and crannies of each other's existence...   

Thank you, sir.  This is awesome.   

Agreed there is also a sad edge at the end in my reading "even when they've gone away / or never feel the same way...the love which fills besides ether aches that chills" once they are gone it becomes a hideous absence all that connection you had (or thought you did) rebounds all the more painfully....but maybe that's just my personal experiences read into the poem...but then that is what poetry is all about - saying what you feel in ways you can't articulate yourself - time and again Illyiss has done this for all of us.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Illyiss
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Force Alignment: -421
Posts: 865


There are shadows darker still...


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« Reply #87 on: July 20, 2018, 02:35:32 PM »

It is a strange joy of poetry, for the poet, that the words, with such strong and specific meaning when penned, can mean something different and unique to each reader.  Even at times a reader may find different meaning when at different points in their life.  Many other forms of written work, to have the original intent not conveyed clearly to each reader, is a consternation, perhaps even a failing, yet poetry, most like painting in this way, draws forth meaning through perception.

Thank you all for your praise, and for indulging my prose.
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Peace is a lie...

Jedi Council of Ohio

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Illyiss
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Posts: 865


There are shadows darker still...


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« Reply #88 on: July 20, 2018, 02:48:42 PM »

Forever alone
Inside this skin suit
Wether crowded room
Or solitude complete
As though a passenger
Traveling through this life
Longing to love
Connections not quite
When so near at hand
I feel light years away
So more like the sun
I send out my light
Burning inside
My heart's furnace bright
Yet never knowing a moon
Unreflected
My light
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Peace is a lie...

Jedi Council of Ohio

Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR

TheDutchman
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Guardian Blue is my life


« Reply #89 on: July 21, 2018, 08:10:53 AM »

Forever alone
Inside this skin suit
Wether crowded room
Or solitude complete
As though a passenger
Traveling through this life
Longing to love
Connections not quite
When so near at hand
I feel light years away
So more like the sun
I send out my light
Burning inside
My heart's furnace bright
Yet never knowing a moon
Unreflected
My light
When you meet someone and fall
By inches and degrees
Step by spoken word
Quietly the heart of you
Beats to now another
The space within you grows
All of you, to each of them
Never growing cold
Even when they've gone away
Or never feel the same way
So leaps and bounds
Pile on deep inside
The love, which fills
Beside the ache that chills
BOTH of these REALLY spoke to me.  Since my childhood, I'd suffered from a gut-wrenching loneliness that was a constant for my first 20 years of life.  Then, I met the woman who became my wife, more than filling the emptiness and banishing the pain.  I won't go into more particulars here but...suffice it to say, the weight of imagery is so much more sublime than even words alone can convey.

Thank you, Illyiss.  Prose truly moving and altogether entirely personal.
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Maenowan Nexu Master of the Vhal'Dan Gray Jedi

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG

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