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Author Topic: The Burned One: A Templar’s Path  (Read 3051 times)
TheDrunkenConsular
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« on: March 25, 2018, 09:04:29 PM »

In 25 ABY, Jedi Kyp Durron and his Dozen-and-Two Avengers stumbled across a new threat to the galaxy at a barren planet called Helska IV.  Durron was the only survivor of the ensuing skirmish, which would be the prelude to a war that consumed the entire galaxy.  The Yuuzhan Vong would not be defeated until 29 ABY, and they left behind a very different galaxy than the one they found.

Among the survivors of that conflict, none were left untouched.

CHAPTER ONE: An Unwanted Task
32 ABY

     The Templar Archive on Oros was a beautiful place by any standard.  Tucked into a beautiful valley, the low but sprawling complex was constructed from blocks carved out of natural stone.  Numerous fountains, statues and gardens dotted the top level of the complex, which was, in a way, deceptive.  The Archive itself was hundreds of feet underground; this beautiful stone structure housed only the living quarters, training area and guest facilities, along with a few token libraries, a sprawling workshop and the ‘public’ council chamber.  This Archive was home to over a hundred Templars, with dozens more coming and going and usually a dozen or so Jedi and Vhal’dan visitors. 
      One of those visitors was Edda Veek’s reason for coming to Oros, and her destination at the moment was the Council Chamber.  Unfortunately, she was now hung up at her least favorite place on the planet; the entrance.  A great stone wall encircled the Archive, and a massive arch made up the entrance.  Standing in the middle of the arch, a forty foot statue of Rakham Crescentfall, wearing solemn hooded robes, but nonetheless grinning around a great stone pipe clenched in his teeth.
     He would hate this.  Edda thought with a small smile to herself as she pictured the giant man learning that the Order had seen fit to build an enormous statue in his honor.  The little smile vanished as the droning of the guard brought her back to reality.
     “...your Identity chip isn’t working, Madam.  Would you like to apply for a visitor’s pass?”  He intoned, attempting to hand an ID chip that appeared to have been stepped on by a Rancor back to Edda.
     “Would I like to apply for a visitor’s pass to the Archive I founded?”  Edda asked, almost dumbfounded.  “No.  No I would not. I would like to go before the council as I’ve been ordered to-“
     “Madam, I cannot allow you to enter the Arch-“  The guard attempted to cut her off, which only served to anger the already frustrated Templar even further.
     “No!  You listen to me, whelp!  I was wearing the crystal before you were born!  I fought the Revenant at the side of Rakham Crescentfall, then I fought the Yuuzhan Vong beside him again!  I am the Scourge of Yuuzhan’tar, the Valkyrie of Dantooine, I am the Burned One, Yuuzhan’s Bane, and you will not prevent me from entering MY Archive!”  She stepped closer to him with each shout, the rasp in her voice turning it to a snarl as she marched down the taller man.  He worked his jaw, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to think of a response, but before he could, the scarred Hapan stepped around him, straightened her robes with a sharp tug, and marched inside the wall.

     To one side of the path, a group of young apprentices meditated in a circle, under the watchful eye of one Sahka Tekk.  Edda nodded at her old comrade, who returned the gesture with a toothy smile.  On the other side, a groundskeeper droid was carefully tended to beds of flowers.  As soon as one passed through the wall, an aura of tranquility settled in.  Edda shook it off.  She wasn’t ready for tranquility just yet.  She marched into the Archive with purpose, the hard soles of her heavy black boots making a distinctive sound on the stone floor as her black robes and cloak flowed behind her.  She didn’t even slow down as she reached the tall wooden doors to the Council Chamber, instead flinging them open with the Force and stomping in with the air of a conquering queen.
     “Kepressa, I’m beheading the next one of your guards that asks me for a starsdamned ID chip!”  She said angrily, drawing the attention of the masters gathered there in the once-peaceful room.  Facing the door was a half circle of chairs in a round room that was cover floor to ceiling in bookshelves.  In five of the seven chairs sat Templar Masters.  Faradi, who had an amused expression on his face.  Rawbacca, who was examining his claws uninterestedly.  Koryn Stykes, who was shaking his head and staring at his feet, trying to hide a grin.  Dala Crescentfall, with a slight expression disapproval and concern, a Rodian woman who Edda recognized but could not name, and finally, Tasrii Kepressa, who stared evenly at Edda, locking her gaze on the Hapan’s sharp green eyes.  She glared for a moment before cracking a grin.
     “Alright Edda, I’ll warn them of the danger.  It’s good to see you in one piece.” 
     Edda’s hardened facade fell away almost instantly, and she suspected Tasrii of calming her through the Force, but she couldn’t bring herself to be angry.
    “It’s good to see you too, Tas.”  She said with a defeated sigh.  “I apologize; I’m always on edge this time of year.”
     “I understand, more than anyone.  There’s someone here you should meet.”  Tasrii replied, and gestured to the fifth person in the room, who Edda had failed to notice.
     It was a human man, wearing the traditional robes of the Jedi Order.  He had shaggy, jet black hair and a graying beard, with narrow, angular brown eyes.
    “Templar Veek, meet Knight Bollin.”  Tasrii said, and the Jedi responded with a slight bow and wide smile.
     “Happy to make your acquaintance, Mistress Veek, But please, call me Jorn.”
     “The pleasure is mine, Jorn.  My first name is Edda.  I’ve heard that you require my assistance, but details have not been forthcoming.”
     “I believe I should allow your Masters to explain that.”  He said with a concerned look.  “They tell me you aren’t going to like it.”
     “Of course I’m not.”  She said quietly, and sighed again.  “Let’s hear it then.”
     “We need you to take him to the old Archive.” Tasrii said.
     “No.”
     “Please?”
     “Hell no.”
     Edda turned around and headed for the door.
     “Coruscant. The second time.” Tasrii’s voice made Edda stop in her tracks.
     “You know you only get to use that once, Tas.”
     “I do.”
     “And now’s the time?”
     “It is.”
     “Pack your bags, Jorn, we’re leaving in half an hour.”

...

     Edda’s ship was small and sleek.  It was technically a luxury yacht, but she’d somehow managed to squeeze it into her operational expenses.  Equipped with such tactical resources as hardwood floors, adjustable mood lighting, spacious living quarters, an enormous bath and a full kitchen complete with a culinary droid.  In addition to the culinary droid, Edda kept two YVH-1 Battle Droids on board, just in case.

    As the Templar and the Jedi approached the ship, both of these droids could be seen flanking the off ramp, glaring around menacingly.  Edda ascended the ramp wordlessly, entering the ship’s luxurious common area.
     “Alright Jorn, bedrooms are down that hallway.  The master at the end is mine, the other two are open.  Cockpit is in the front, guest refresher is over there.  Kitchen is through the door to the left, the droid can cook just about anything.  Make yourself at home.”  Edda said, pulling off her cloak and tossing it over a chair as she made her way towards the cockpit.

...

     The deep, rhythmic thumping and shouting vocals of Mandalorian street music filled the cockpit as Edda’s hands worked the controls.  She didn’t understand the Mando’a lyrics, but she’d picked up a taste for the beats from a Hit Squad commando.  As the ship broke free of Oros’ gravitational pull and the autopilot kicked in, she leaned back in the seat and kicked her feet up on the console, closing her eyes and letting the music wash some of the stress out of her mind.
     It was a short lived moment.  The door behind her slid open, and Jorn appeared. 
     “I didn’t know the Templars were at the Battle of Dantooine.” He stated.
     “Who said Templars were at the Battle of Dantooine?”  Edda reached over and increased the volume of the music, but Jorn refused to take the hint.
     “It’s that time of year.”  He replied.
     “Yeah, well, we all did our part for the war effort.”
     “I’ve heard you did more than your part.”
     “Aren’t you a bit nosy for a Jedi?”
     “Perhaps, but it’s important to know who’s flying me around and watching my back.”
     “I’m not watching your back, I’m letting you into a building.”
     “Things change.”
     Edda sighed again, and turned the music back down, swiveling her chair to face the Jedi.  “Alright, fine.  You go first; why do you want into the old Archive?”
     “A Jedi was inside when it was sealed.  He was carrying a map, and I need to try and recover it.”     
     “What does the map lead to?”
     “Old Jedi temples.”
     “Oh.  That map.”
     “You’re familiar?”
     “We recovered it back in the day, before Skywalker brought the Jedi back.  I’ve seen it.”  Edda replied.  “My turn.  Whatever you want to know, ask.”
     “Well, are the stories about you true?”
     “I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”
     “They call you Yuuzhan’s Bane.  They say  that when we retook Coruscant, you felled a hundred Vong by yourself.  They say that the Burned One has never been bested in battle.”
     “I’ve been bested many times.”  She answered with a dark look as Rakham Crescentfall’s last lopsided grin flashed in her mind.  “No one fought the Yuuzhan Vong without losing something.”
     “True enough.”  He nodded grimly.  “I was at Dantooine too, you know.  What were Templars doing there?”
     “Observing.”  Edda said honestly.  “We had yet to officially contact the new Order, and my Master and I had been following Skywalker from a distance for some time.  When it became clear that there would be a battle, we called in a Templar strike team led by Master Kepressa that was tailing us.  Of the Templars there, only Tasrii and me made it out.  They called me the Valkyrie of Ithor afterwards, because I spent the entire battle trying to drag the wounded to safety.  Most of them were dead by the time I got them out, but I kept going.  I had fought before, in squabbles between Force sensitives that retained a certain nobility despite their barbarism, but that battle showed me what war really was.  Is that enough of my life story for you?”  The words came wearily, as though she were describing a bad dream.
     “You were the Valkyrie?  Do you know how many lives you saved that day?”  Jorn asked in astonishment, mouth agape.
     “Not enough.  Now, again, are you going to keep pestering me for war stories like an irritating nephew, or are you going to leave me in peace?”
    Jorn merely nodded and backed out of the room, a newfound respect in his eyes.

     As the door closed, Edda turned her music back up and resumed her relaxed position, hands clasped behind her head.  This time, however, the bearded, sad eyed but always grinning face of her master haunted her rest.
     “I’ve got this, Edda.”  His voice echoed, sharing space in her head with the sounds of apocalyptic battle.

CHAPTER END
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2018, 10:13:22 PM »

Wow, that is quite a different setting, albeit a really creative one! does it spoil Brothers knowing they end up on Orso though?  Perhaps not, who is to say what is/isn't canon.  Will be fascinating to see how this plays out.
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Lord_S_Gray

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Karmack
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« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2018, 06:54:34 AM »

very interesting!  I've been looking ahead of late and wondering whether to follow more of the "Legends" canon or official canon.  This may be the deciding factor.  I love the setting and these characters.  As LSG said, you'll have to be careful about spoiler but this has the makings of a wonderful new tale...
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TheDrunkenConsular
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« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2018, 06:58:51 AM »

There won’t be any plot spoilers for Brothers, don’t worry!  That story will be wrapped up by around 10 ABY, and this one is concerned only with what happens after 25 ABY.  There are minor things like the new Archive, but that’s already been started, in a small way, in Brothers.

I’m really happy you guys enjoyed it!  I’m excited about this one myself.
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Taegin Roan
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« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2018, 11:06:57 AM »

Cool. I like this story already. I am interested to see why Jorn wants the map, but we'll find out soon enough I suspect. Not knowing much of the Legends between ROTJ and TFA, I am hoping to stay out of it for the most part. The way I write, I make sure that everything fits with Canon even if it does touch the Legends. But that is just because I wouldn't mind seeing my stories become part of SW Canon sometime. Still, an interesting premise. Good job.
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Illyiss
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« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2018, 12:42:35 PM »

Oh this looks delicious already.  Headstrong individualist who seems mostly intent on staying away from all the reminders of parts of her past, forced to take an overly curious, if respectful Jedi back to one of those very places.  Hints and tales of bits of that very past she seems to want to leave in the past, yet she has s sense of fairness.

I have to say, there was at least one spoiler, we know Rakham survives the current conflict in the Brothers tale.  There is still lots and lots of room for drama, and story building, even knowing that, though. 
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Darth Pandæmis

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Karmack
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« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2018, 01:18:42 PM »

Hmm..     A Jedi was ... buried alive in the Archive?  With this map? 

Oy....   So we're starting with a classic "Indiana Jones" or "Tomb Raider" kind of scenario.  And maps that people die for generally don't lead to good things....  ;-)
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« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2018, 02:25:00 PM »

Hmm..     A Jedi was ... buried alive in the Archive?  With this map? 

Oy....   So we're starting with a classic "Indiana Jones" or "Tomb Raider" kind of scenario.  And maps that people die for generally don't lead to good things....  ;-)

Depending on your perspective, they might lead to VERY good, useful things.  *grin*
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Darth Pandæmis

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« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2018, 03:03:23 PM »

Depending on your perspective, they might lead to VERY good, useful things.  *grin*


Like Ahch-To.
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2018, 06:11:35 PM »

This story is truly a remarkable departure from what we've been writing about and already I'm hooked! It's fascinating to see an established character having matured, changed, for better (hopefully) or worse (we've yet to see...).  But now what consequences have occurred that we have to catch up on...?

Where is Rakham?  What's happened to the Templars?  I doubt that everyone is alive after the Vong War... Keep it up TDC!
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TheDrunkenConsular
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« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2018, 09:45:54 AM »

So, the next chapter of Brothers is finished and the next War Journal is halfway done, however, due to technological skullduggery, I can't access either of them.

So, have some Edda, and remember, the next chapters of my other stories are coming soon!

CHAPTER 2: Ghost

     The Archive landing panding pad, once home to some of the finest custom starships in the galaxy, was now no more that a graveyard for rusting hulks of twisted metal.  The Vong had destroyed most of the ships on the pad in their initial bombing run.  The mountain bore the scars of that attack as well, with craters and blast marks dotting it's surface.  Sitting alone amongst the wreckage was one pristine NV-2000 luxury cruiser, and sitting crosslegged on the that cruiser's ramp, one Jedi who was either very deep in meditation, or very bored.  Edda and Jorn had landed before the sun rose, and now it was high in the sky.  She'd said something about 'the mountain sleeping' and wandered off, occasionally stopping at different places to run her hands over the stone and mutter to herself.  She'd been at it for hours, and suddenly, the peace was broken.  There was a long string of curses from behind a cratered Corellian freighter, followed by the sound of solid stone being kicked savagely and then another, higher pitched string of profanity.  Before Jorn could stand and go check on the Templar,the ground began to shake and a rumbling grew below the Earth.
    "Edda?"  Jorn called nervously, rising unsteadily to his feet and stumbling down the ramp.  He made his way around the destroyed Corellian freighter blocking his view of Edda as quickly as possible, and found her collapsed on her rear before a gaping black maw in the mountain, ruefully rubbing her foot.  As suddenly as the shaking began, it stopped.
    "I got it open."  She shouted back over her shoulder, and dragged herself to her feet to peer inside.  "Go ask one of of the droids for my Mountain Kit."
   
    As Jorn hustled back to the ship, Edda steeled herself.  When she'd sealed the Archive five years ago, she'd never intended to open it again.  This place was tomb, both for friends and for enemies.
    "Got it!"  He shouted as he rounded the wrecked freighter, dragging a bulging rucksack.  "What's in this thing?  It feels like a ton of rocks."
    "Gear."  She said brusquely, and began digging through it. She grimaced and paused for a moment as she realized that her hands were shaking, then furiously went back to work.She produced two web harnesses first, and handed one to Jorn.  "Put this on."
    He inspected the piece of gear.  It was an old tactical harness.  Each of the shoulder straps bore a patch; one was in the shape of a coffin with a trident in the middle, the other bore the words 'Hit Squad' in stylized letters.  Jorn shrugged and put it on, tightening the belt to fit his slender frame and moving his lightsaber to it.  It was covered in pouches and holsters.  There was a battered, outdated but still powerful DL-44 blaster pistol on the belt, a rugged utility knife, a set of flares, several back-up torchlights, a climbing pick and half a dozen other explorer's tools.  Edda had already clasped hers on and was producing more gear from the sack.  Two long coils of metal-reinforced climbing rope, which went around their shoulders, two grappling hook launchers and a large torchlight for each of them.
     "Do we really need all of this?"  He asked incredulously.
     "We probably need all this to get across the threshhold.  I don't know what we'll need to reach the Vault."  She answered, and flicked on the beam of her light, shining it through the door. It revelead a chasm fifty feet wide and, as far as either of them could tell, bottomless.  "I tore the floor out from under the Vong who were chasing us..."  Edda said quietly, her mind flashing back to that day. 

     The smell of smoke filled her nose, and the din of battle rang in her ears.  She heard the screams of the dying, the war cries of the Yuuzhan Vong warriors and the shrieks of blaster fire mixed with the hum of lightsabers.  For moment, instead of standing beside Jorn, she was leaning against Tasrii Kepressa, her back bleeding in a dozen places and her head swimming, and with a wave of her bloodsoaked hand, the floor under the charging Yuuzhan Vong warriors crumbled away into a bottomless pit.  At the will of the Burned One, walls collapsed, ceilings fell in and chaos reigned as the ancient keep destroyed those who dared invade it.

     "Are you okay?"  Jorn asked, laying his hand on her shoulder and dragging her back to reality.  She shrugged off the contact.
     "Of course I'm okay."  She snapped at him, and shouldered her grappling hook launcher.  She fired it at the ceiling halfway across the gap, hooked the line through a loop on her harness and, without warning, leapt across the gap, swinging safely to the other side and reeling her hook back in.  Jorn followed the same steps with competence and landed beside her.
     This was what remained of the great hall.  The long, finely made wooden tables had been turned up on edge to be used as cover by the Templar's mercenary forces, and then smashed by the attacking Yuuzhan Vong.  Most of the defenders were still here, armored skeletons scattered behind their makeshift barricades, mixed with those of Yuuzhan Vong fighters and their Voxyn hounds.  Edda crept quietly, respectfully across the floor, until her feet crunched on broken glass and she stared up at the broken window to Berra's office.

     She was standing inside the office, now.  Looking through the window at the mercenary defenders as they were overrun, sweat dripping down her brow as she struggled to regain her breath, her lightsaber still activated in her hand.  The hilt was sticky, and she looked down to see blood, her own blood, running down her arm.  She turned to speak to Berra, to check on the blind Miraluka who could not see the Yuuzhan Vong attackers, but instead of the Templar master, she was face to face with Vong fighters as they rushed in through the door. A Voxyn launched itself at her, and she buried her saber in it's guts, but the eight-legged hound's momentum carried them both through the glass, and they landed in the middle of the melee below. She smacked her head against the floor, and her vision began to fade in and out as shards of glass dug into her back.  By the time her mind cleared, the fight was all but lost, and Tasrii was dragging her to her feet and towards the entrance.

    It was with the pain of broken glass cutting into her knees that she snapped back to the present.  She cursed and stood up, shooting a glare at the very concerned looking Jedi behind her.
    "Come on, Jedi.  Through here."  She pointed to the door on the back wall, that led to their old meeting and dining room.  She pulled the door open slowly.  The walls had closed in her, and they hadn't fully reopened.  A corridor had been formed that wasn't more than ten inches wide.  The floor was cluttered with bones, and the walls were stained with blood.  Halfway down the corridor, the tables and chairs had been turned to a splintered mass that blocked any hope of passage.  Edda placed her hands against the walls and attempted to move them, but the mountain refused to budge.  She gave a frustrated groan, and Jorn placed a hand on her shoulder.
    "Please, allow me."  He said quietly.  Edda took a step back and gave a go ahead gesture.  He reached into the gap and closed his eyes.  The shattered furniture levitated off the floor and drifted towards them.  He aloowed it to fall gently into a heap outside the door.  "After you."
     Edda nodded in response and began to squeeze into the corridor, attempting to suck in her chest and shuffle sideways down the narrow path.  There was a time when rubbing against the dried blood would have sickened her, but now she didn't even notice, and the crunching of bones beneath her boots was miles away from her mind.  What worried her now was the visions.  She thought that they'd stopped for good, but they were worse than ever here, and as she came out the passage and into a roomier hallway, she half expected another one to trigger.  She could remember very clearly the last time she was here.  Tasrii was shouting that they were under attack, the mercenaries were rushing through the dining room and her first thought had been that she had to reach Berra and help her escape.  By that time, the Vong had broken through, and she fought them all the way up the stairs to Berra's office.  One of their razor sharp amphistaffs opened up her arm from shoulder to elbow, but in the heat of battle she never noticed it, and by the time she reached the top, she believed all of her pursuers to be dead.
 
     "Come on, Jedi.  The Archive is down here."  She pointed down the hall and set off.  The hallway was littered here with Vong corpses, and the walls were scored by lightsaber cuts.  Faradi had cut through them like a demon, and with Tasrii's help had been solely responsible for the survivors' escape.  As they drew closer to the Vault, the bodies and cuts grew thicker, and eventually the floor vanished into another bottomless black chasm.  Edda dropped down to one knee and peered into the darkness, the beam of her light dissapearing into it.  "The Mountain was protecting the Vault."  She said, mostly to herself.  The hallway ahead of them took a sharp right turn, and the floor had dropped at least to that point.
     "What do we do now?"  Jorn asked, shining his own light into the darkness.  "Is there another way?"
     "Not to the Vault.  See those ledges?"  She pointed to narrow, jagged edges running down each wall where the floor had crumbled away. At their widest, they only protruded a few inches from the wall. "We'll use those."
     "Use them for what?"  Jorn asked in alarm.  Edda did not answer, instead pressing her back against the wall and beginning to shuffle down the ledge on her heels.  Jorn watched incredulously as bits of stone crumbled away under her feet and vanished into the chasm.  She stopped after ten feet or so and looked back at him.
     "Do you want your map or not?"  She shouted, her raspy voice echoing.  Jorn gulped and began to follow her, shuffling down the opposite side of the hallway until they were face to face.  "See? It's not that hard."
     "It actually is."  Jorn said, bead of sweat shining on his brow.
     "Don't worry, Jedi.  If you fall, I'll probably catch you."

     Progress was slow, but fortunately, after making it around the bend in the hallway, there were only a few feet left until the floor came back.  Jorn, in his haste to find solid ground again, moved too quickly and very nearly fell into the blackness, and certainly would have if Edda had not reached out with the Force and stopped him.  He thanked her, and she said nothing, but made her way off of the ledge and over to a door twenty feet down the hall.  She grasped the handle and tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge, so with a savage kick she knocked it down.  Jorn caught up quickly and shined his light inside.
     The Vault had been mostly empty when the attack happened, and it was in the process of emptying it that they'd uncovered the map they were now looking for.  However, a mostly empty Templar vault is a room brimming with treasures to the average person, and Jorn'seyes went wide as his light uncovered the dusty artifacts.  The beam also uncovered something else leaning against the far wall; a skeleton in hooded robes, surrounded by slain Vong and still gripping a lightsaber.  In it's other hand the datachip holding the map rested, covered in dust.
     "There's your map.  He was down here with Faradi when they attacked.  Our defenses only lasted for a few seconds, there were just too many of them."  Edda said.  Jorn walked over to the bones slowly and knelt down.  He took the lightsaber first, and held it in his hand for a moment before hanging it on his belt.  Then, the map went securely into a pouch on his harness.  When he stood and turned to face Edda, there were unashamed tears in his eyes.
     "Did you know him?  She asked, her demeanor softening to the Jedi for the first time since they'd met.
     "He was my brother."  Jorn replied, wiping the tears away from his cheek.  "Nett Bollin."
     "I'm sorry, Jorn."
     "Don't be.  The Vong took something from us all."  He replied, with a smile that never reached his crying eyes.
     "Why did they send you here to do this?"  Edda asked, her tone compassionate.
     "I volunteered.  It seemed right that I should be the one to visit my brother's tomb.  Why did they send you?  It's obviously very painful for you to be here."
     "Me and Faradi are the only ones left who can manipulate the stone here, and Faradi is the warden of the Oros Archive, he only leaves it if there's an emergency.  The Masters most likely felt that our Order owes yours a debt after your brother died on our watch, and this is how they repay it, so it was worth a little suffering."
     "I'm sorry, Edda." 
     "Don't be.  This isn't the hardest thing I've ever done by a long shot.  Now, let's go home."  It was Edda's turn to smile sadly now.
     "Agreed." 

...

    The trip back to Oros was uneventful.  By the time they reached the Archive, Edda and Jorn had established a friendship that would last for the rest of their lives, but he was to return to the Jedi Order, and Edda was given a new assignment.  They said their goodbyes outside of the council chamber.
    "Take care of yourself out there, Jedi."
    "You too, Templar."
    "Edda!"  Tasrii's voice rang out from the other side of the door. 
    "Duty calls, it sounds like.  I'll see you around, Veek."  Jorn said with a grin.  Edda clasped him on the shoulder, and without a word turned around and swept into the council room.

     Most of the masters had left.  Only Tasrii still stood within, wearing her crimson robes and turning over her lightsaber in her hands as she gazed out of a huge window at the setting sun.
     "What do you need, Tas?" Edda asked, taking a place beside her.  She was in an uncharacteristically good mood.
     "I have another job for you, it should be simple, just smash and grab. Exactly the kind of job you like.  A Hutt Cartel has has recovered something of great value, and we need it."  Tasrii paused for a moment.  "There is a catch.  The something that we need is more of a someone.  A Force-sensitive child.  The Hutts have this idea that they're going to turn him into a weapon."
     "Alright.  Send me the coordinates, and I'll go scoop him up. What's the planet?"
     "Just like that?"
     "Just like that."
     "He's on Tattoine.  I'll send the exact location to your ship.  Take care of yourself out there, Edda."
     "I always do."

     
CHAPTER END
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Who says red is only for the bad guys?

Karmack
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« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2018, 09:17:41 AM »

interesting.   I love how Jorn goes from a wide-eyed groupie to having his own anchor there.  And they become friends.

And very nicely written.  The aftermath of a battle like the one the Vougn would have fought with the Templars would be nasty.  Skeletons everywhere...  As you describe.  And how would a veteran from that fight react to re-visiting it years later?

Rather like a member of the 20th Maine standing on the ridge at little round top on the 20th anniversary of Gettysburg... 

Nicely done.
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« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2018, 10:00:45 AM »

Edda and Jorn are wonderful protagonists.  Added to the backdrop of the aftermath of the Vong War, this has some SERIOUSLY oppressive ambience for our heroes.  But, moreover, I can't wait to read more about what has transpired to the Templars during the interim of years...

And TDC, take your time^^  We're not going anywhere  Wink
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« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2018, 12:45:28 PM »

I agree with Karm and TD, and while I haven't read any of the books on the Vong wars, I did wookieepedia them a while back, and they do not sound like an easy battle. Anyways, I really liked this chapter because it felt almost like the Fellowship's trip through Moria. Well done, and I'm excited to see who this child is.
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Karmack
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« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2018, 01:07:45 PM »

The Vong and their tech come from outside the known galaxy, and it is all force-invisible.  And they have some pretty amazing biotech.  In fact, they see what we would consider normal machines as an utter abomination.  They were utterly alien and incredibly tough.

What happened on Coruscant...   Wow....
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