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Author Topic: Invictus  (Read 2471 times)
Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 164
Posts: 1104



« Reply #45 on: June 19, 2019, 07:45:04 PM »

So Tyr won in the end...but it was a close run thing...and I am certain will not be without consequences later on, and not just in terms of his current consciousness stealing injuries.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 547
Posts: 1552


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #46 on: June 19, 2019, 08:55:12 PM »

Very close run at that. And it definitely will have consequences down the road. And now that you mention it he has had an unusual amount of those recently hasn’t he. I need to break that habit before every chapter ends with “then his vision went black.” I think 2 is enough of those for now lol.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 547
Posts: 1552


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #47 on: June 23, 2019, 10:11:14 PM »

I've had a lot of spare time on my hands recently so I was able to get this one written pretty quickly and Chapter 10 is well on the way by now. 10 should be out late this week or early next week.

CHAPTER IX
69 A.B.Y.

     Tyr woke to the cool white light and soft hum of a New Order medcenter. Looking around he saw Dargus in a bacta tank, his arm missing the unnatural bend that it had had back on Hoth. He also saw Aradyn in a chair across the room staring out of a window into what looked like a raging thunderstorm.
     With a slight groan, Tyr sat up in his cot and felt a strange pain in his abdomen. Looking down he saw that the only coverings he wore on his torso was a wide bandage covering everything between his hips and his rib cage.
    “You’re awake.” Aradyn said, walking over.
    “I can tell.” Tyr replied. “What happened? How did we get here?”
    “Well, we all survived, if that’s what you’re asking. After I was thrown, I blacked out for a few minutes. When I woke up I saw Dargus on the hovercart and you on top of the old man with your dagger in his chest and a hole in yours. After a few minutes I was able to get my composure and I got you on the hovercart and got both of you and those weird crystals back to our shuttle, just letting you know, that trip sucked. But I was able to send a message out to command and they were able to send help. After treating my leg on their ship they brought us to their main medcenter on Kamino, that’s where we are now. They fixed Dargus up the third day we were here, you were their main focus. He’s in bacta now just to rest and regain some of his strength. You were a different issue. Almost as soon as we landed a team came and whisked you off. We heard almost nothing about your condition. Now we know. Apparently that old mans lightsaber has punctured one of your lungs, and the heat alone damaged many of your other organs. It was a full week before we were able to see you. Right now the doctors are saying that you may have some abdominal pains for a few days, but other than that you should be good to go.” Once she finished she went back to her window to get her chair and brought it over to Tyr’s bed. “And once Dargus is out of there we can report back to command and see if we can get the briefing for our next mission.” She added.
     “Sounds good. Hey, did you manage to get our weapons?” Tyr said after a moment's thought.
     “Yeah. Dargus’ are on the table by his tank. Here’s yours.” She said reaching over to the table by Tyr’s bed, grabbing his lightsabers first then his dagger.
     “Thanks.” He said, putting his lightsabers down at his sides and twirling his dagger between his fingers.
     “Are you feeling good enough to walk?” Aradyn said after a few seconds.
     “I guess so. Where are we going?” Tyr asked.
     “To the hangar. Something that I’m told we’ll need for our next mission.” She replied.
     “Alright, lets go.” Tyr said, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. As he was standing up, he realized something.
     “You know, I may need to be wearing a bit more than this.” He said. Pointing to his bandage and a pair of short white pants.
     “Oh yeah, your clothes are over there.” She said pointing to a small pile of black fabric on a table just over a meter away.
     “Thanks.” Tyr said walking over and sliding his tunic and trousers on. “Alright let’s go.”

     Aradyn then led him out of the medbay and down multiple corridors until they arrived at the hangar. A quick glance around revealed pretty much exactly what he expected. Multiple transports with the Order’s medical logo on them. Then he saw something that surprised him. Three brand new, state of the art, pitch black TIE Suppressors. They were the newest of the TIE line from Sienar and came with all the bells and whistles. A total of four laser cannons on its kite-shaped wings, 2 proton torpedo tubes below the cockpit, highly advanced deflector shields, and each one has a prototype cloaking device that renders the ship invisible to scanners and the naked eye. Combined with an experimental class 0.7 hyperdrive, they are the fastest and most powerful starfighters in the New Order’s arsenal. Each one is rumored to cost in excess of 5 million credits.
     “Are these ours?” Tyr said in astonishment.
     “Here.” Was her only response.Tyr looked at her in confusion and saw her holding out a small holodisk. He took the disk from her outstretched hand and pressed the disks single button. The image that showed was a very surprising one. It was the Officer. Midnight blue cape and crisp black uniform impeccable as ever.
     “Tyr Invictus. I’m glad you were able to survive your most recent mission. Your next one should be slightly easier. We have been receiving reports that the planet Tulanar has plans to leave the Order and start a campaign of resistance against us. You, Free, and Rush will be sent to Tulanar and will either verify or disprove these rumors. If they are proven true, you are to kill everyone who is a part of these plans and anyone associated with them. These TIE Suppressors are yours as a tool that I expect you will use to the best of your ability. Report to Commodore Braegan once you reach Tulanar. He will be in his Star Destroyer Incinerator in orbit. He will brief you further.”
     “As you say, it will be done sir.” Tyr replied, clicking off the holodisk. “Let’s go get Dargus and we’ll be on our way.”
     “I’ll stay here actually. There’s something I need to take care of.” Aradyn said back.
     “Alright. I’ll get Dargus and be back here soon.” Tyr said walking off.

     Once he had left, Aradyn reached into her pocket and brought out a small holodisk. After pressing multiple buttons and providing a retinal scan, the image of a tall, cloaked Zabraki man appeared.
     “Hello Aradyn, been a while, hasn’t it.”
     “Cut the pleasantries Skye, we have work to do.” Aradyn replied curtly.
     “So callous. May want to show a bit more respect. I don’t want to have to remind you of what happened last time your arrogance got the better of you.” As the Zabrak said this, he gave a slight tug on his cloak revealing the lightsaber hanging on his hip. Discomfort evident on her face she said:
     “No sir. You don’t. You’ll be glad to hear that Invictus and Free both trust me completely. Phase 2 is almost ready to be implemented. I’ll report what more I learn about our next mission to you once we reach Tulanar. Is there anything else I should do?”
     “No. You are doing perfect. Continue the good work. Brenx out.” The Zabrak, Brenx, ended the transmission. Aradyn decided she probably shouldn’t be in the exact same place as when Tyr left so she went over to her starfighter and began to try and look busy.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Lord_S_Gray
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 164
Posts: 1104



« Reply #48 on: June 25, 2019, 03:21:34 PM »

Well that added an extra dimension...multiple agenda's at play here for certain...and will Tyr really suppress an uprising so violently...given what happened to his own world? could be very interesting dynamic...
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 547
Posts: 1552


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #49 on: June 26, 2019, 08:39:07 AM »

Well that added an extra dimension...multiple agenda's at play here for certain...and will Tyr really suppress an uprising so violently...given what happened to his own world? could be very interesting dynamic...

Well, for one, his planets wasn’t rising up. And for another, remember, he does what the Order says to help Tyalos these next few chapters should help you determine what his loyalties lie.

As for multiple agendas, well, I have to keep it interesting somehow
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 779
Posts: 3136


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #50 on: July 01, 2019, 12:05:34 PM »

Just caught up on my Invictus reading and I have to say: I really enjoyed the last few chapters, GF!  A few things that stand out (for me at least) was the Gray Jedi that you introduced.  I like the fact that you've kept them as this unknown variable; there's plenty of mystery here, one that you could certainly use in your upcoming chapters.  Even better: you have a new antagonist whose motives aren't necessarily "evil" yet counter to your antagonist.  Nice job, that.  Plus: I have to wonder just what about those kyber crystals are worth protecting, even up to killing those looking for them  Wink

Another great plot point: Aradyn's questionable loyalties.  Just how this plays out with her relationship to Tyr can certainly become a driving force that can call into question his own convictions; after all: betrayal is such a personal matter regardless of the conflict.

Good job with keeping your main character sympathetic, despite his current affiliation.  If you haven't already, I would suggest looking at LSG's and Taegin Roan's stories as they deal with similar issues and character arcs and are done VERY WELL.

Here's to Chapter 10!
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Maenowan Nexu Master of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 1833
Posts: 6078


Lord of the Force


« Reply #51 on: July 01, 2019, 12:23:49 PM »

Just caught up on my Invictus reading and I have to say: I really enjoyed the last few chapters, GF!  A few things that stand out (for me at least) was the Gray Jedi that you introduced.  I like the fact that you've kept them as this unknown variable; there's plenty of mystery here, one that you could certainly use in your upcoming chapters.  Even better: you have a new antagonist whose motives aren't necessarily "evil" yet counter to your antagonist.  Nice job, that.  Plus: I have to wonder just what about those kyber crystals are worth protecting, even up to killing those looking for them  Wink

Another great plot point: Aradyn's questionable loyalties.  Just how this plays out with her relationship to Tyr can certainly become a driving force that can call into question his own convictions; after all: betrayal is such a personal matter regardless of the conflict.

Good job with keeping your main character sympathetic, despite his current affiliation.  If you haven't already, I would suggest looking at LSG's and Taegin Roan's stories as they deal with similar issues and character arcs and are done VERY WELL.

Here's to Chapter 10!

Thanks for the plug there TD. Grin

Like the others have said GF, this story is really building into something unique. I didn't think I would like the point of view of the FO very much, but it is actually causing for a very interesting story. Can't wait to see what you have coming next.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the first order down." - Poe Dameron

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Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 547
Posts: 1552


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #52 on: July 01, 2019, 06:12:42 AM »

Thank you all so much for the support. It really means a lot to me.

This has been a lot more fun than I ever could have imagined and I’m glad you all like it. I’m kinda busy right now so I can’t go into all the details as much as I’d like to but I do want to say that chapter ten should be out sometime soon and eleven will follow not long after.

After all this time I’m finally starting to build up to where I wanted it to bro all along and I cannot wait to share it with you all.

Till next time!
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 547
Posts: 1552


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2019, 09:03:58 AM »

Hey all, Sorry it took so long but without further ado, here's Chapter ten

     Chapter X
         69 A.B.Y.

     Tyr walked into the medbay to find Dargus just getting out of his bacta tank and getting dressed.
     “You’re awake.” He said.
     “And your arm isn’t broken. That’s good, we have a mission.” Tyr replied.
     “Where to?” Dargus asked.
     “A small Inner rim world called Tulanar. Should be fun. Come on.” Tyr said back, turning around to walk out of the door.
     “Hey! Don’t forget these.” Dargus called after him, pointing to the lightsabers still laying on Tyr’s bed.
     “Thanks.” Tyr said, picking up his weapons. “Are you ready to go?”Tyr asked.
     “Yeah. Let’s go.” Dargus replied walking out the door next to Tyr. They entered the hangar a few moments later to find Aradyn lying down on a hover sled, under her starfighter, forearms covered in grease, tinkering with one of the torpedo tubes below the cockpit.
     “What are you doing down there?” Tyr called.
     “Just thought I’d oil down the torpedo tubes on our fighters.” She said standing up and rubbing the grease off of her arms.
     “Did you do mine and Tyr’s as well?” Dargus asked.
     “Yup. I’m just about done here. Are you guys ready to head to Tulanar?” She replied rolling her sleeves back down.
     “I’m ready when you are.” Tyr replied.
     “Let’s go already. I’m tired of this place.” Dargus said, walking towards his fighter.
     “Alright. Rendezvous at the Incinerator above Tulanar. Meet up in the main hangar and we’ll go meet Commodore Braegan together.” Tyr issued the orders with the precision that a year of highly intensive training gave him.
     “See ya then.” Dargus said. And then, to Aradyn,”50 creds says Tyr is the last one there.” To which Aradyn replied:
     “I’ll give you 50 more if you can beat me there too.”
     “Deal!” Dargus said, turning to walk the remaining few meters to his starfighter.
     “Bye Dargus!” Tyr called from his cockpit. Just as Tyr was ducking into his cockpit he saw Dargus turn and sprint to his fighter.
     With a slight chuckle he lifted his fighter off the ground and slowly maneuvered out of the hangar. Once he was clear of the city, he pushed the throttle up and shot through the clouds and into the deep black of space. After pressing a few more buttons he felt the deep rumble of his hyperdrive powering up, and then, Aradyn and Dargus right behind him, he was shot into the mesmerizing world of hyperspace.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

TheDutchman
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 779
Posts: 3136


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #54 on: September 09, 2019, 09:34:25 AM »

Glad that you continued this, GF!

Nice transitional chapter, bit of a "calm before the storm."  And given our suspicions about Aradyn's questionable loyalties...I wonder what she really did with Tyr's torpedo tubes...

I'm looking forward to Ch.11  Smiley
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Maenowan Nexu Master of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

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