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Author Topic: Invictus  (Read 14578 times)
Golden Fedora
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The Grey Prophet


« Reply #30 on: December 04, 2018, 07:08:33 AM »


Tyr pushes the button, holding it away from his body.  For long seconds nothing seems to happen....

<<<  BOOOOM >>>


   *****

"What was that?"

"Probably just out-gassing.  I read a report about it last week."

knowing my editors, it would be more like, "Sorry, those beans have been messing with my stomach for a while now."

my "editor" is one of my friends at school.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #31 on: December 04, 2018, 07:10:25 AM »

knowing my editors, it would be more like, "Sorry, those beans have been messing with my stomach for a while now."

my "editor" is one of my friends at school.

LOL

Gotta be careful about those editors...  ;-)
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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

Golden Fedora
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Force Alignment: 564
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The Grey Prophet


« Reply #32 on: December 04, 2018, 07:13:25 AM »

LOL

Gotta be careful about those editors...  ;-)

yes. I ended up taking away edit access from him about 2 months ago. he is now restricted to commenting so he doesn't replace my story with memes. I think he did it 3 times before I took away his access  Tongue

fortunately he is becoming more serious about this and I have gotten some cool ideas from him.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
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Lord of the Force


« Reply #33 on: December 11, 2018, 07:13:07 PM »

I really really liked this chapter. Not sure why, but it was just really well done. Showed how young the character is in a good way without making his seem immature. He may be young in years, but he has been through quite a bit. I'm also liking where you are going with his skills and equipment. It's going to be a fun ride that's for sure. Keep it up, and don't worry about posting chapters daily or weekly or whatever. Just post them as you get them written. Right now I'm about 3 months between chapters. So don't feel too bad. Grin
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Golden Fedora
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Force Alignment: 564
Posts: 1565


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #34 on: December 12, 2018, 12:45:02 PM »

I really really liked this chapter. Not sure why, but it was just really well done. Showed how young the character is in a good way without making his seem immature. He may be young in years, but he has been through quite a bit. I'm also liking where you are going with his skills and equipment. It's going to be a fun ride that's for sure. Keep it up, and don't worry about posting chapters daily or weekly or whatever. Just post them as you get them written. Right now I'm about 3 months between chapters. So don't feel too bad. Grin

Thanks Taegin! I have a few Ideas for the next chapter and it should be up sometime in early to mid-January. Can't wait to post it!
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

TheDutchman
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« Reply #35 on: December 13, 2018, 05:04:18 PM »

Thanks Taegin! I have a few Ideas for the next chapter and it should be up sometime in early to mid-January. Can't wait to post it!
And we can't wait to read it GF!

You post when you're ready  Wink
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My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Golden Fedora
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The Grey Prophet


« Reply #36 on: December 13, 2018, 08:13:42 PM »

And we can't wait to read it GF!

You post when you're ready  Wink

It is happening sooner than you think, I had a big burst of inspiration in Bible class today and somehow managed to get Chapter 5 finished in the 2-3 hours since. so without further ado,

CHAPTER V
   68 A.B.Y.

     With a deep electronic snap, a brilliant green beam sprang into existence at the end of the shaft. Tyr was confused at exactly what he was looking at until he remembered an old holofilm he watched with his parents as a child.
     In that holo, there were great warriors from an ancient time called Jedi, and they wielded weapons called lightsabers. This thing he was holding bore a striking resemblance to a lightsaber, although he didn’t remember the sabers in the holos having jagged bolts of lightning racing up and down the length of the blade.
     He would have stood there for hours, mesmerized by the brilliant green blade and the deep hum of his new weapon, but it was not to be. Only a few minutes after finding this new treasure, his gauntlet started beeping. His gauntlet was showing a dark blue map of what he assumed was the nearby corridors with a room a few corridors away highlighted in yellow and a timer in the upper left corner counting down from ten minutes. Tyr decided he should get going, so he attached the saber to his belt and, after a moment's thought, grabbed the other saber out of it’s compartment and attached it opposite the longer hilt. He then grabbed the cloak out of it’s compartment and stepped out into the corridor and started towards the highlighted room on his map.
     He was almost immediately stopped by two stormtroopers who began questioning him.
     “Who are you?” One of them asked.
     “My name is Tyr Invictus.” Tyr said, trying to put some amount of authority into his voice.
     “Tyr Invictus, huh? Hold out your gauntlet.” The second one said, pulling out a portable scanner. Tyr didn’t want to cause a scene so he held out his arm. The trooper pulled a cord out of the scanner and attached it to a port on Tyr’s gauntlet. After a few moments, the trooper detached the cord and said;
     “Tyr Invictus, you are cleared for passage to all areas of this vessel available to those with the rank of lieutenant commander and below. Have a nice day.” The two troopers stepped out of the way and beckoned him to continue.
     “Thank you troopers” Tyr said. He took a quick look at the map on his gauntlet then headed towards the yellow room.
     Less than two minutes later he was at the door marked on his gauntlet. He looked for a keypad to open the door but the only thing he could see was a small port next to a small red light. He noticed that the port looked like the one on his gauntlet so he examined his gauntlet and found a fold away tab on his gauntlet that a little cord came out of. He plugged the cord into the port and then the red light changed to green. The door slid open with a metallic hiss revealing a pitch black room. He stepped into the room, pulling one of his sabers from his belt and igniting it bathing the room in deep green light.
     When he looked around the room he saw that he was in a large, open chamber with one door on the far side. But he wasn’t alone, there were three other people in the room. The tallest of the three stepped forward, pulling a metal rod off of his belt.
     “Tyr Invictus, we have been expecting you.” The man said, igniting the dark red lightsaber in his hand.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #37 on: December 13, 2018, 03:00:47 PM »

And ever deeper into the rabbit hole he goes...lieutenant commander though seems odd, perhaps just convenience of access but convenience for whom....
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Taegin Roan
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Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #38 on: December 13, 2018, 10:11:44 PM »

I like the description of his blade. Reminds me of some old fan art I saw a long time ago.
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 564
Posts: 1565


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #39 on: December 14, 2018, 12:17:32 AM »

I like the description of his blade. Reminds me of some old fan art I saw a long time ago.

I got the idea from a light-side Kylo fanart a few months back. I saw it again earlier today and that gave me the inspiration to get Chapter 5 out so fast

And ever deeper into the rabbit hole he goes...lieutenant commander though seems odd, perhaps just convenience of access but convenience for whom....

That was more convenience for the Officer. apparently the Officer didn't like having to take him through so many security checkpoints. or something like that  Wink
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Golden Fedora
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Force Alignment: 564
Posts: 1565


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #40 on: January 22, 2019, 04:09:52 PM »

Hey everyone! In case anybody is wondering, my google account is having some issues and I have not been able to work on Invictus in a while, but I think I almost have the issues all resolved so I can hopefully have the next chapter out by the end of this month.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Golden Fedora
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Force Alignment: 564
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The Grey Prophet


« Reply #41 on: February 05, 2019, 07:25:02 PM »

without further ado... Chapter 7!

CHAPTER VII
          69 A.B.Y.

     In the one year that Tyr had served on the Insurrection a lot had happened; The Officer had truly made good on his promise to help Tyalos. The Order had brought refugees from other worlds to help repopulate the devastated world. The Order had also supplied finances enough to get the economy back to where it had been and farther.
     In his own life, Tyr had already gone on multiple missions for the Order and he had learned that the two other people in the room with the Zabrak had turned out to be Dargus and Aradyn from all those years ago, from the time before the Order arrived. He was never told exactly what, but he knew that the Order was searching for something that was far above his pay grade.
     His current mission, though it sounded interesting, was turning out to be quite uneventful.
     “Does anyone have eyes on the target?” Tyr said into his comm. He, Dargus and Aradyn were on a mission deep into the heart of the Hoth System. They were looking through the remains of the Rebellion’s Echo base. It was rumored that a small group of Gray Jedi had hidden here after the Order had taken power. Tyr and his group were sent to look here for some kind of crystal that they may have left behind. But the only thing he sees is a lot of empty crates and a few old pieces of equipment.
     “Negative Tyr. scanners aren’t picking up outside what we saw on the way in.” Dargus said.
     “Keep looking, if the scanners saw something then that means that there is something here.” Tyr replied.
     “What are these crystals supposed to look like?” Aradyn asked.
     “Like crystals I assume.” Tyr replied sarcastically. “I think the briefing said they were yellowish.” he said with a bit more seriousness.
     “Well the only thing I see is ice.” Dargus said kicking at a protrusion of ice sticking out from the wall.
     “Hold up!” Tyr called, “I’m getting some readings from that crate over there.” pointing to a dark grey crate half covered in snow. He walked over to the crate and dusted the snow off the lid. Studying the crate, he noticed that this crate was the only one so far that had a lock on it.
      “Should I…” he said, reaching for his saber.
     “If you think that’ll work. Just let me and Aradyn step back a bit.” Dargus said, him and Aradyn going to stand behind a nearby pillar.
     “Wuss.” Tyr said, he ignited his saber and rammed it through the lock. The lid on the crate popped off to reveal hundreds of yellow crystals. He instantly felt a powemanatingenating from the crystals and he knew he was looking upon something that he would likely never understand.
     “Dargus! Come out of there, you need to see this.” Tyr said looking in awe at the huge amount of power before him.
     “What is it?” Dargus asks walking up, Aradyn right behind him.
     “Woah!” Aradyn exclaimed, reaching into the crate and pulling one of the crystals out of the crate.
     “What are these things?” she asked. Tyr was about to say he didn’t know, but then, a word popped into his head. He didn’t know what it meant or if it really meant anything, but it seemed to fit these crystals like a key to a lock.
     “Kyber” Tyr said.
     “What the heck is a Kyber?” Aradyn asked.
     “These crystals are what power our lightsabers.” he replied, not really knowing how he knew this. Picking up one of the crystals, he noticed that they seemed to emit a light of their own. He brought it close to his face and saw… what was that? It looked like… himself. He suddenly felt a rush of power entering him from the crystal, a river of ice and fire running through his body, burning his insides until he couldn’t feel anything but pain! But then, empowering, rejuvenating the fire replaced with an internal warmth that even the icy winds of Hoth could not quench. Then a voice, speacking from the warmth
     “Tyr Invictus, bring these crystals to Tyalos! Do not return to the Order, they will destroy us, take us to the great temple under the Northern mountains.”
     “Who are you?” Tyr called out.
     “All will come to light when we are returned to our proper place under the mountains.”
     Tyr’s vision slowly started to go dark,
     “Wait, wait! I need to know more! Don’t leave me!” he called as his vision went black.
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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

Lord_S_Gray
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Force Alignment: 428
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« Reply #42 on: February 05, 2019, 09:56:45 PM »

So the Order kept its promises...for its own reasons no doubt....probably to keep the Tyalos agents loyal...and now this Crystal.  What does Tyr do, listen to the talking - very possibly manipulative-  crystal, simple hand it over to the Order as...erm...ordered, or something completely different...look forward to finding out.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

Taegin Roan
Knight Commander
*

Force Alignment: 2066
Posts: 6245


Lord of the Force


« Reply #43 on: February 09, 2019, 10:22:43 PM »

Yes, interesting development. Looking forward to what you have planned. Talking crystals ehh? Sounds like something I might've seen somewhere else. Wink
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"I am the Outcast's Shadow" - Taegin Roan
"Confronting fear is the Destiny of a Jedi" - Luke Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause." - Padmé Amidala

Golden Fedora
Knight Commander
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Force Alignment: 564
Posts: 1565


The Grey Prophet


« Reply #44 on: June 20, 2019, 12:47:01 AM »

well, after more than 5 months, here it is!

CHAPTER VIII
          69 A.B.Y.

     Tyr’s eyes snapped open and he sat up with a start. Looking around he realized that he must have blacked out when the crystals spoke to him. He was on the floor of the hangar, Dargus and Aradyn standing a little ways away talking into their comms, the crate on a repulsorcart between them. Aradyn saw him sit up and walked over to him.
     “What’s going on?” he asked dazed.
     “Dargus is talking to Command about what to do with the crystals now that we have them.” She replied.
     “Well hurry up. I have a bad feeling about this.” Tyr said, shaking his head to clear the fog.
     “Why? This place has been uninhabited for more than 40 years.” Dargus said, having finished talking to command.
     “I don’t know. When I blacked out... I don’t know. Nevermind. Let’s just get out of here.” Tyr said, trying to remember what gave him this weird feeling.
     “Let’s get back to the ship.” Dargus said, walking towards the door at the end of the hangar.
     “Lets double time it. I have a really bad feeling about this.” Tyr said, standing up and walking to the door, dusting off his cloak as he did so.
     “Uh, guys, who is that?” Aradyn said pointing to an old man in tattered grey robes blocking the door.
     “ How should I know?” Tyr whispered. ”Who are you?” he called out to the man.
     Ignoring Tyr, the man said;
     “Our sanctuary has remained untainted by your foul Sith ways for almost 50 years. Why are you returning now?”
     “Sanctuary? Sith? We don’t know what you are talking about.” Dargus said. “All we know is that our mission told us to come here, get these crystals, and take them to our CO.”
     “I cannot let you do that” the man said reaching into his robe and pulling out and igniting a brilliant white lightsaber, just as four hooded men, their robes slightly less ripped and tattered than the first’s, dropped from the rafters and ignited their own lightsabers.
     “Well kriff.” Tyr said, drawing and igniting his lightsabers. Then, Aradyn and Dargus stepped up next to him and ignited their own sabers, Aradyn with a saberstaff with pale purple blades, and Dargus with two aqua colored blades. Even seeing the almost even fight, the old man looked just as confident.
     “We will be leaving with these crystals, and you will not stand in our way.” Tyr said with as much conviction as he could put into his voice.
     “We have guarded these crystals for more than 50 years, we will not allow them to be taken by some Sith child such as you.” The man said. As he said this, the other four began to move in, trying to encircle them.
     “Dargus, don’t let them take the crystals back. Aradyn, with me.” Tyr said, moving to face two of the hooded men, Aradyn facing the others.
     Tyr’s opponents saw this as their opportunity and moved in, one swinging his saber high and fast towards Tyr’s neck, Tyr caught that one on his blade easy enough and sent the man stumbling away with a flick of his wrist. The second man came in with a high overhead strike aimed to split him in two. Tyr dodged this with a quick sidestep, using the shorter of his two blades to deflect a blow from the first man. Pushing him away, he stepped back towards the second man, using his shoto to get inside the man’s guard and driving it through his chest. Without a second thought, Tyr spun and brought both of his blades back to bear onto the first man.
     His opponent was obviously new to combat, whereas Tyr, with almost a decade of sword and street fighting under his belt and more than a year of highly specialized training under the Order, quickly overpowered the young man and dispatched him with two swift thrusts through the abdomen.
     Tyr noticed two things when he turned around; one, Aradyn was just finishing off the last of her opponents, the remains of the first in half a dozen pieces on the floor. The second man’s defences were crumbling under her swift and unrelenting blows, and then, almost faster than the eye could blink, Aradyn had relieved the man of both of his arms and his head soon followed his arms on the short trip to the floor.
     The second thing Tyr noticed was that the old man had not moved, but had remained standing in the same position that he had held when the fight broke out, lightsaber still unused in the mans grasp, and eyes unfocused on any of the three. Curiosity soon got the better of Tyr who slowly began to walk towards the man, lightsabers raised in case the man tried anything.
     “Its over old man. Your people are dead, and we are taking these crystals. You can either let us by, or we’ll go through you.” Tyr said. Aradyn and Dargus walking up behind him to enforce his threat. When the old man didn’t move, Tyr decided to take matters into his hands and after two quick steps, raised his lightsaber to strike down the old man.
     His blade was within centimeters of the old man’s neck when a brilliant white beam as strong as duracrete blocked Tyr’s strike. Tyr quickly withdrew his weapon and spun back to stand next to Dargus and Aradyn. When he looked back at the old man, instead of seeing him in a combat stance as he expected, he looked the same as he had the entire time, lightsaber low at his side, eyes still unfocused on any of them. Determined to finish what he started, Tyr lunged in again, this time with a straight stab towards the man’s chest, but just as he was about to impale the man’s heart, the old man spun with speed that should not have been possible for someone of his apparent age. Once Tyr recovered from his attack, he spun towards the old man, who just gazed at Tyr, indifferent as always,
     “How did you do that?” Tyr asked.
     “You would not be able to understand even if I told you.” The man replied
     “You want to be that way then, Aradyn, Dargus, Take him.” Tyr said, lunging forward with Dargus just behind him, Aradyn had stepped backwards and attempted to get behind the man. When Tyr and Dargus got within striking range of the man they spread out to try and split the man’s focus. The man’s look of indifference didn’t change. By now Aradyn was straight behind the man’s back. Dargus made the first strike, his shotos swinging at the man’s neck and ankles.
     While the man’s expression didn’t change, his body and lightsaber moved with near mind blowing speed to intercept every one of Dargus’ strikes. Aradyn and Tyr, both realizing that this wasn’t going to be as easy as they thought, moved to support Dargus. Tyr on Dargus’ right side, reinforcing him and beginning to push the old man back towards Aradyn, who, staff whirling in a deadly flourish, struck at the man’s exposed back.
    To her surprise, before her saber struck the man, he extended one arm and sent Tyr and Dargus flying into the far wall as he used the hand with his saber in it to block her strike with surprising strength. She then launched into a wild series of strikes that had actually overwhelmed both Tyr and Dargus in their practices, but the man continued to surprise her, and he blocked every strike almost before she thought to deliver it. With a snarl she pressed her attack swinging her staff furiously to try and breach the old man’s seemingly impenetrable defences, but for all her efforts, she couldn’t even dent the steel wall of his defence. Tyr had recovered enough to stand by this time and noticed that Dargus was still unconscious, after closer examination Tyr saw that Dargus had broken his right arm when he had been thrown and had apparently hit his head pretty hard.
     “Aradyn! Dargus is down, we have to go now!” Tyr called across the room. He decided the best course of action would be to put Dargus on the hovercart next to the crystals so he could pull him along with the crystals once this annoying old man was dealt with.
     “I can’t really help that right now!” Aradyn yelled as Tyr put Dargus down. Tyr then noticed that he had dropped his lightsabers when he was thrown. A quick glance around showed them half buried in the snow. He ran over to pick them up, as he was collecting his shoto he heard a yell from Aradyn, looking over he noticed that the man had landed a solid strike on the inside of her calf, which was starting to bleed and drip down, staining the snowy floor red.
     “Mind helping me out here Tyr?” Aradyn called out in agitation. In response Tyr activated his blades and charged over. Tyr was beginning to see that the old man was beginning to push Aradyn back towards the far wall. Aradyn was now limping noticeably and her defences were beginning to falter. With a quick lunge, Tyr was able to distract the man from Aradyn and give her a few seconds to breathe. The downside to this was that now the man was focused completely on Tyr. Tyr completely immersed himself into the duel, his mind slowly giving itself over to the reflexes he had gained from more than a decade of combat. For a short time, the fight was almost evenly matched, Tyr’s wild and unexpected attacks meeting against the old man’s steel defences. Then, after a slightly overextended stab from Tyr, the fight was no longer as balanced, the man changed from having impenetrable defences to attacking with the speed and ferocity of a cornered nexu. Tyr, not noticing the change until it had already happened, was barely able to defend himself, Aradyn saw this and tried to come to his aid, but the man reached out his hand and she flew backwards to slam into the wall a few meters behind her. She crumpled to the floor in a heap. With a scream of rage, Tyr tried to regain the offensive, returning the old man’s powerful strikes with quick thrusts of his own, but after a few seconds Tyr realized he wasn’t going to win that way and returned to defend himself from the man’s furious strikes. Dargus chose this moment to wake up and try to help. Noticing him, Tyr was about to yell to stay back, when the old man took advantage of his momentary distraction to blast through Tyr’s guard and send his sabers flying into the snow a few meters away. Tyr, now not concerned about Dargus in the least, leapt backwards to avoid the old man’s lightning quick blows. He quickly got back to his feet and, from within his cloak, drew a dagger that was given to him by an armorer on Insurrection. The dagger was made of Beskar, often called Mandalorian steel, and was resistant to lightsaber strikes.
     The old man, either not noticing or not caring, lunged forward and took a stab at Tyr’s chest, but Tyr was able to deflect it off the edge of his dagger, although the man’s lightsaber still sliced off a small sliver of his cloak. Not expecting this, the man had accidentally overextended and allowed Tyr to land a cut on his wrist and send his lightsaber falling to the floor . With a triumphant grin on his face, Tyr advanced again swinging the dagger in a mad attempt to finish the man off. But the old man would not go out so easily and with a few deft parries was able to defend himself from Tyr’s dagger for almost a full minute before Tyr quickly switched his grip and sliced a long gash along the man’s forearm. Now Tyr had a distinct advantage and, with a well practiced spin, was able to duck down and land a deep cut on the back of the old man’s knee. With a cry of pain the man fell onto his back. Tyr then stood over him and prepared to drive his dagger through the man’s heart, when he saw the man reach out to his fallen lightsaber, but the fact that it was over three meters away made Tyr decide to ignore him, but as Tyr was about to drive the dagger through the old man, the lightsaber flew across the floor and into the old man’s hand, and with a flash of white light, sent a beam of brilliant energy through Tyr’s abdomen. Although this didn’t save the old man from his fate and Tyr, now powered more by gravity than force of will, drove his dagger through the old man’s heart. Tyr had a mere moment of satisfaction before everything went dark.

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"Easy is the path to wisdom for those only not blinded by themselves."

-Broadside

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