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Author Topic: Script idea currently in development  (Read 306 times)
DCE Digital Studio
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« on: April 19, 2019, 01:28:24 PM »

So, I wanted to bounce a story idea that I'm planning on putting into production this year. I'm open to suggestions, and more importantly advice on finer details that I may have over looked.

During/after Order 66 a Jedi (gray or temple acolyte?) who was protecting a special artifact escaped when hearing about what happened. While being chased got sucked into a black hole. Because of his hyperdrive, he stabilized the gravity fields and landed late 1970s and settled on earth. Feeling safe, started a family and blended in. Now, 40 years later, his son/grandson is starting to develop force powers, and the empire/new order/sith have found them on earth.
Some of the details are still flexible. But that's basically the plot summary. I have some key scenes already written out, and character descriptions. Just need to finalize it, fill in the script holes/set locations, then we cast and shoot.
Thoughts?
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Karmack
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« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2019, 06:56:40 AM »

A couple of points:

First: The original character - assuming he is dead?   Maybe has left his son/grandson a holocron?   OR is he alive and we're looking at father/son as Master and Apprentice?
Second: The artifact....   To aid in your plot could it be a Sith weapon designed to harness the energies of a black hole to bend space and destroy planets?   It would fit with the idea of Sith creating 'planet killer' terror weapons that has been around since the first movie (Death Star!) and it would give your Sith something to come after beyond just hunting a Jedi who got away.  A single Jedi so far removed from their sphere might not be worth it.  But a weapon like that?   It gives both sides motivation - the Sith to recover it, the Jedi to prevent that.  Might also set up a big finish where the kid destroys the artifact to prevent it's loss or misuse.

I would avoid any direct references to "The First Order" or any other direct mentions of known political entities in the SW franchise, just to avoid any copy write infringements.
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« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2019, 03:46:54 PM »

Thanks for the points. So, the jedi who has escaped is either a grandfather and who's grandson is now coming to age. I have a scene where they are all sitting having a family dinner and in conversation they talk about an image taken showing something shooting out of a black hole and the grandfather drops his fork and plays it off as if he is just losing his grip/getting old.
I like the artifact being a planet destroyer, and yes they sensed its power (not the jedi). But I intentionally wanted to leave it as just a mysterious item (think pulp fiction and the briefcase).
After having a conversation about this with a friend of mine, we decided that with a worm hole/black hole, there was no set time limit for the sith to come chase it down. Maybe 1000 years past the death of Luke? Maybe during the Old Republic. Maybe a whole other sith faction never explored. Still need to flesh out that, which is why I brought it the the experts (you all).
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Current Sabers:
Spectre - Violet Amethyst
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2019, 07:16:48 PM »

interesting concept for sure.

Hmm given there is no time limit in terms of when this JEdi comes from could be cool if he's from the 'Golden Age of the Sith' when they had kind of almost steampunk like technology (chek out wookipedia for pics of Odan-Urr, Naga Sadow and Empress Teta for an idea) but that is purely my aesthetics idea.

A further angle to the tale could be the Sith that come for the artefact are NOT from his own time, but have sought it from a different time period altogether so there is a double 'fish out of water' moment - possibly with better technology that he had or worse technology but better force abilities and sabre skills.

As to the tale i would love to see a kind of moment where the old JEdi is opening up a locked box or something where his lightsabre is kept.
Another angle to consider is the differences in technology, perhaps the Jedi reflects that earth as it is is in fact as technologically regressed as outer rim dumps and would be swamped by any organised for in the galaxy e.g. Hutts or Black Sun.

Another thing could be due to the different upbringing your main Jedi could be unnaturally young or old, e.g. in Star Wars the health care/Jedi training was much better so he could either be young/strong despite his years on earth (would make a scene dropping his fork and claiming he's getting old highly ironic) or due to lack of the more advanced health care ageing unnaturally.  Perhaps an angle on the different diseases he might encounter in earth as well

Sorry if that all sounds random, just tossing ideas out there so you can expand your considerations. But yeah so much potential good luck with it. 
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« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2019, 06:45:39 AM »

I've been tossing around the sith from a different time and/or universe. And to really throw a twist, the artifact was kept safe from the jedi, brought to earth, stolen by a sith from the old republic, obtained by the jedi and kept secret in a temple, and then repeat. And if the cycle is broken, the paradox unfolds. There are lots of ways to go with this.
Like any story teller, they have big plans for their tales. Could a 30 min short film lead to a kickstarter full length movie (i.e. Turbo Kid, Kung Fury) or a short story adapted into a full length movie (i.e. Memento)? Maybe.  The only thing I'm sure of is  I dont want it to be sloppy saber work or dippy material. I know this will never be accepted as canon. I just am aiming to be more accepted than Jar-Jar.
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May your saber always be within your reach, and your opponent's luck and skill be less than your own.
Current Sabers:
Spectre - Violet Amethyst
Initiate V4 - Sunrider's Destiny
Dark Apprentice V4 LE- Blazing Red
Sentinel V4 LE - Guardian Blue
Dark Sentinel V4 - Sunrider's Destiny
Chosen One v3 - Consular Green

Karmack
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« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2019, 10:23:53 AM »

All you need to do to be more accepted than Jar Jar is tell a decent story with decent characters.   :-)

As for length...   My daughter makes films, she made a short a while back called "Haughty Saber" which you can probably find on youtube if you're interested (or linked in the video section or on this board, IIRC) but my point was not to expect to get anywhere with a kickstarter for a full-length feature.   Unless you're going to pitch this to Disney as a "Star Wars Story" they'll shut you down.  There's to much proprietary SW material here for you to get away with anything but a good fan-fic film. 

So, make the best fan film you can!   

I like the idea of the different time-lines.    If your Jedi is from the "future" (after the time of the movies, for example) and the Sith are from the past, the Sith "Golden Age" then an angle might be that the artifact originated with the Sith in the far past, no one knows where it came from or what it really is, just that it emanates power and has been passed back and forth by the Jedi and Sith for millenia, never in the hands of one or the other long enough for it's secrets to be unlocked.   And now you have a future Jedi defending it from a past Sith, implying that the artifact is in fact caught in a time-loop of some kind.

And then the question becomes - let it go with the Sith (and start the cycle over again), open it (maybe the kid stumbles on the way to unlock the box, as it were) and risk unleashing a "Pandora's Box" of unknown force energies on the universe, or destroy it, ending the cycle....

Starting to sound like a Dr. Who episode...   Moffatt!    We need Moffatt!  And maybe a Dalek or two....  ;-)
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« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2019, 10:33:37 AM »

First off DCE, let me begin by saying that I think your idea is fantastic!  Myself: I'd never once considered writing about Jedi/Sith/the Force in a contemporary setting.  SO much potential and appealing ideas immediately spring to mind...

Perhaps the time-displaced Sith are responsible for some of the myths of the past; since you're involving time travel, your imagination is the limit  Smiley  Perhaps the Grandfather is somehow incapacitated and the Grandson has to fumble his way through his abilities OR go the opposite where the Grandfather/son can (at least at first) follow the mentor/student paradigm...only to have it thrown on it's head (SO many ways to do this--and I don't mean as a "chosen one" motif but rather--where the Grandfather finds that he is unable to completely train his Grandson as his skills in the Force are somehow...different...perhaps as a result of growing up in an "alien" galaxy; anyhow, just one possibility).

I have to echo LSG: having the Sith come from their "Golden Age" could add in extra flair whereas their main sources of intel instead comes from a far-flung past.  Again, this could work in mythology easter eggs (at your discretion  Wink).

I would avoid any direct references to "The First Order" or any other direct mentions of known political entities in the SW franchise, just to avoid any copy write infringements.
In addition to Karm's already excellent points, I canNOT agree with him more concerning the above^^

And from just reading your own ideas (I had to smile at the comparison with Memento; wonderful!), I have to say that I can't wait to read/hear/see more of your work!

Regardless: you're in good company here (I HIGHLY recommend you read Karm's, LSG's, and Taegin Roan's stories; not only are they excellent in their own right but I find that they are superior to almost all of the SW books that I've read).  Good luck  Smiley
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« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2019, 12:06:32 AM »

Hey DCE!   I just wanted to add my encouragement!  I hope your project goes great and if we helped in some small way that's awesome!   Keep us in the loop, I'm sure we'd all love to see the finished product when the time comes! 
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« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2019, 09:06:04 AM »

Thanks. And yes, some of my 'writers block's has cleared and I think we have a good solid story. Costumes are being collected, dialog is being developed to match the story line, and principle cast is almost finalized. Still need to work on a few details. I've got an idea on how to tell the story pre-earth. Need to collect needed software plug ins and graphics, but I'm hoping to start shooting starting in may/June. As I said, this is a aimed release of May 4th 2020. No need to rush. Must do it right. And I'm excited to premiere it here before anywhere else..

Hey DCE!   I just wanted to add my encouragement!  I hope your project goes great and if we helped in some small way that's awesome!   Keep us in the loop, I'm sure we'd all love to see the finished product when the time comes! 
Smiley
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May your saber always be within your reach, and your opponent's luck and skill be less than your own.
Current Sabers:
Spectre - Violet Amethyst
Initiate V4 - Sunrider's Destiny
Dark Apprentice V4 LE- Blazing Red
Sentinel V4 LE - Guardian Blue
Dark Sentinel V4 - Sunrider's Destiny
Chosen One v3 - Consular Green

JNovaarii
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« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2019, 05:38:56 PM »

This movie sounds awesome.  I love the outside the box idea of it taking place partly in our real-life universe.  I look forward to seeing the finished product.
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« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2019, 09:50:05 AM »

Our primary shooting is happening next month and going most of the summer.  I'm hoping to have only some voice work to do over the winter.  Then after effects/editing, we should have it ready by next May 4th (atleast that's the hope).  I'll be sure to post a link for it when we are done.
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May your saber always be within your reach, and your opponent's luck and skill be less than your own.
Current Sabers:
Spectre - Violet Amethyst
Initiate V4 - Sunrider's Destiny
Dark Apprentice V4 LE- Blazing Red
Sentinel V4 LE - Guardian Blue
Dark Sentinel V4 - Sunrider's Destiny
Chosen One v3 - Consular Green

JNovaarii
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« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2019, 10:10:46 AM »

I stoked my interest in perhaps doing a fan film someday of fanfiction that I am currently working.  The story basically involves an individual receiving an invitation to come back to his people after having been removed from his home planet and people through no fault of his own by his parents.  His parents, mostly his mother had a falling out with the queen.  Being the queen's sister and therefore a member of the royal family, she was forbidden to become romantically involved with whom she had chosen to be with.  She fell in love with and wanted to be joined to one of her Elite Royal Guards.  This, of course, was strictly forbidden.....More on this later
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current saber : Initiate v4 with fire orange blade, soon to have Obsidian v3 sound and av switch installed

wishlist dream saber:  Dark Initiate v5 with gold claws, with most of the black anodizing removed to create a custom look

"I am neither a servant of the light or the dark, but a servant of the balanced will of the Force. and serve the greater good of the galaxy"- Jeskaaro Nova'arii, Suva'arii Knight and Elite Guardian of the Fi'arii Empire

Light or dark points appreciated as warranted, My alignment will remain more or less neutral

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