Friends: Team Ross or Team Rachel?

I just so happen to be rewatching the show on Netflix when the break-up episode came on.

Before I talk about the break-up itself, I want to focus on something Phoebe brings up later in the series. She says that Ross is particularly emotionally damaged from his split up with Carol (his first wife). Before that, he was very trusting and not at all jealous. However, once Carol left him for Susan then all his trusts issues were shattered. He even admits to Rachel that he thinks he loves her more than he did Carol.

So, focussing on his relationship with Rachel. From the moment Rachel meets Mark at her new job, Ross’s jealousy rears its ugly head. Yes, Mark may have been interested in Rachel (even though at this point Mark is in a relationship of his own) however, neither Mark nor Rachel exhibited any interest in the other.

Ross cannot help being jealous, but he should trust that Rachel would not do anything with Mark, even if Mark wanted something to happen.

What particularly enraged me about Ross was when he went with Rachel to the fashion lecture and fell asleep. An argument was made that it was boring (to him) or he was tired. But what cannot be excused it when he belittles the lecture in a conversation afterwards.

Everyone knows how passionate Ross is about dinosaurs and, while they may make fun of him for it (in a friendly way), they never belittle it. It’s clear to all that Ross doesn’t think of dinosaurs as “just as a job”. However, that is what he calls Rachel’s job; he basically doesn’t think she should take it seriously as it’s not something he himself is interested in. It's also long been established how important fashion is to Rachel. That is in no way being a supportive boyfriend. I

Now, on the subject of the break-up itself, yes Rachel said the words "maybe we need to a break......a break from us", but it was clearly out of frustration of having just had the same argument again over nothing. Ross’s jealousy has been going on for weeks, if not months, so it is understandable that she would say something like that out of frustration and exasperation. But what about Ross’s actions? Were they justified?

If Rachel was serious about them breaking up, regardless if it was in the heat of the moment, does that excuse Ross from going out and having sex with someone else mere hours later? No. That’s a d*ck move.

If Rachel was not serious about them breaking up, and she said something she shouldn’t in the heat of the moment, does that excuse Ross from going out and having sex with someone else mere hours later? No. That’s a d*ck move.

So let’s examine Ross’s actions the next day. He gets the voicemail from Rachel and realises the horrible mistake he has made. Rachel still wants him, but he has another woman in his flat. Obviously he needs to get her out, but should he tell Rachel? Maybe it’s wrong of me to say, but I can understand his reaction of trying to cover up the whole incident (I’m not saying it’s right, but I can understand it).

I think, even if he had confessed to Rachel rather than covering it up, she would have had the same reaction as when Gunther told her.

Taking all this into account, I would say that despite Rachel saying they should take a break out of frustration, Ross is in the wrong and was directly responsible for the entire situation in the first place due to his major trust issues. It’s one thing not to trust other men. That’s totally fine. But he should have trusted that Rachel would turn them down. Even Monica says as much to Ross a few episodes before when Ross was complaining about her working so much alongside Mark.

If he had trusted Rachel, there would have been no arguments or fights. Then the “hot girl with the belly button ring from the Xerox place” wouldn’t have been a factor. However, he didn’t trust Rachel (due to the situation with his ex-wife) and he is solely responsible for sleeping with someone else. Rachel had Mark over in that episode and she managed to keep her pants on.