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Author Topic: Lost Jedi  (Read 1938 times)
jsierra.ronin
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« on: May 30, 2020, 11:01:16 PM »

Lost Jedi
Part 1



The Republic has FALLEN. The newly formed EMPIRE, ruled by the cunning Emperor Palpatine, has scattered all forms of light and hope throughout the galaxy.

Darth Vader, formerly Anakin Skywalker, destroyed the Jedi Temple and Order-66 ruthlessly dispatched nearly every Jedi serving in the Clone Wars. Those who survived, remain lost.

Hunted by agents of the Empire, Jedi knight Djaf-Rae remains on Tarin-Kaut, a moon in the outer rim and far away from the Empire’s reach….




Prologue

The Battle of Coruscant was a decisive victory for the Republic, but the fighting was far from over. Once Djaf-Rae received the news of Count Dooku’s death, he and his clone troopers were almost certain of the war’s end. Serving in the Tarabba sector, they were tasked with finding and destroying all separatist factions in the outer rim planets. Intelligence came in showing that General Grievous had established a sizable force on the Utapau system and Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master and General in the Grand Army of the Republic, was dispatched. Grievous was defeated in single combat; signaling the end to Separatist resistance.

Djaf-Rae was leading a platoon into Utapau’s main spaceport when his Clone troopers turned on him. It wasn’t until he heard the voice of the platoon leader, Commander Fox, did he believe the Clones were  trying to kill him. It happened so fast he almost didn’t realize that blaster fire came from all directions. Hearing Commander Fox give the order, an order that wasn’t meant to be “heard”, was heartbreaking.

The Jedi Code discouraged personal attachment, but combat seemed to bring it out anyway.

The barrage of blaster fire was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The blinding lights of a thousand soldiers hailed down on him and he deflected what he could before running for the nearest ledge. He’d rather have taken his chances falling than fight his own men. But before he could reach the edge, a Clone trooper tossed his blaster aside and ran to intercept him.

He was quick and powerful, holding his standard-issue knife in his right hand. The way the Clone moved told him it was Corporal Lance and he knew he was in for a real fight. The two clashed and collided, wrestling forward in a dance of hand-to-hand combat. Djaf-Rae didn’t want to die, but he wouldn’t kill his men. He kept his focus on the ledge and kept advancing with defenses. They remained locked at the wrists when Djaf-Rae managed to break Lance’s concentration.

“Why?” he struggled to ask the Clone, but only silence followed. The two continued to struggle and the next thing he remembered he was falling, with Corporal Lance’s lifeless body alongside him. Landing in the river below, they were carried out and away from the fighting.

Djaf-Rae hid himself under the lifeless body of the Clone trooper as he swam. It wasn’t long before he found a nearby starship and was able to escape.


*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *


Tarin-Kaut proved to be a safe place, at least for the time he’d need. It turned out though, he didn’t know how much time that was. Arriving on the small moon was uneventful. No military campaigns were being carried out there and the Separatists hadn’t seemed to influence the crime-lords who controlled it. Nearly three months had passed since he escaped Utapau and just as long since he’d felt anyone through the Force. Looking outward felt empty.

He’d been accustomed to hearing the voices of his comrades throughout the Galaxy, but now there was nothing. Pain filled his chest and he stopped meditating. He saw no point in continuing to search when there was nothing out there-

“No,” he interrupted his thought. “I’ll try again later. Someone’s out there,” he hoped.

Remaining nameless on Tarin-Kaut wasn’t difficult. It was outside the Republic, even before the Clone Wars. Preferring to deal with the Hutts than any diplomat, Crime lords held a sort of shadow government and acted as the Overseers. If you kept your head down, you got by just fine. Taking the name Daron, Djaf-Rae found a mechanic shop to begin working and keep a low profile.

Jinn Farrow specialized in repairing all sorts of mech and he was eager to have another set of hands to help with the work. He was a heavy-set Gungan, with large eyes and the longest ears Daron had ever seen. Curiously, Jinn spoke without the typical Gungan accent they were known for; though traces could still be heard. The shop had plenty of work to do, much of it centered around fixing broken cooling systems and rerouting power couplers. The jobs were easy and kept Daron busy throughout the day. He walked into the shop and found that his bench was already filled with new projects, accumulating overnight it seemed.

“Daron!” Jinn said. “What took ya’ so long? Work’s buildin’ on ya’ desk. It’s not gonna fix itself!” It was the same story everyday and had become a sort of greeting by this point.

“I’ll start now,” Daron replied. He sat at his workbench and began working with his tools on the nearest tech. A genset for a Corellian Dual Fuel System. Normally, he’d just order a new part from the logistics unit, but that was impossible out here. There were no supply lines and no replacements. He’d had to learn to fix things the old-fashioned way, even without using the Force.

He’d spent his entire life freely able to use the Force. As the war grinded on and each mission blended together, he regularly found himself relying on his connection with the Force to hold his composure. A subtle shaking had developed in his hands and without his connection to the Force to help him, he often felt clumsy.

And alone.

The back door opened and someone walked in from the wreck lot. She had spare parts in each arm and set them down on her workbench with a plop.

“Well, it’s good to see you again,” she said with a smile. Kell was the only other employee that worked for Jinn and she was good at her work. She was the first Kessurian Daron had ever met, which she found hard to believe. She walked over to his desk to inspect his project.

“How’s the work goin’?” she asked.

“Not really sure, just started. It looks like it’s just a bent tube. Nothing too complicated.”

“Not for you, no.” She continued to watch as Daron worked on the genset. While he didn’t need her help right away, he found himself enjoying her company.

“You’d better get back to work,” he said, with a smile. “Before Jinn sees you over here again.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said. “I’ll see you in a bit.” Leaving his side and walking to her table, Daron pretended not to watch her walk away. She sat at her table and began to work, briefly looking up to catch Daron’s eyes darting down to his table. He felt his heart begin to thump as he tried to focus on the work in front of him.

His mind raced and he thought about his life as a Jedi, which only seemed to make things worse. Forbidden to have any personal attachments, this was the first time he’d had to confront feelings of desire like this. The war made it easier to distract himself and not develop a love interest.

"You’re no Jedi," he thought to himself. "Not anymore, they’re gone...all of them." He tried not to think of his friends, but it was impossible. He thought of all the faces he’d never see again. He thought of all the voices crying out as their men betrayed them and gunned them down on the battlefields they’d fought together on-

“Daron!” Kell’s voice cut through his thoughts. She stood in front of his workbench again with a smile on her face.

“Would you like to go out for drinks with me tonight?”

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

They agreed to meet at Rimdall’s, the local hot-spot, and the largest cantina of the city. It’s what passed as respectable in this part of the Galaxy. Daron arrived a bit early and wanted to get a nice seat before too many people arrived. Though only just after sunset, the catina was already busy. The band blared on the main stage and serving-droids bumbled around with drink trays for paying clients. Smoke hovered at just above head level and gave the entire place cloud cover.

Daron found a small table in the back corner, away from the other patrons. He had a clear view to the front entrance to flag down Kell when she arrived. His heart began to race again, thinking of what he’d say. With everyone talking and the band playing so loud, he’d figured he’d have to yell for her to hear him.

"Or we could just sit closer together," he shrugged, trying not to feel nervous.

Cutting through the noise and straight into his mind, he heard a voice calling his name. His true name.

"Djaf-Rae," it called, getting louder with each echo. He looked around to see who could be calling out his true name but saw no one. Confused, he decided to reach out with the Force, when a man sat at his table.

“I wouldn’t do that,” he said. “That kind of thing could get you killed nowadays.” He had broad shoulders and was at least a head taller than Djaf-Rae. Piercing through the tan blast-helmet’s removed eye-shield were a pair of ice-gray eyes. He removed his helmet and sat down.

The man was bald, with a close-cut beard and a small scar over his left eyebrow. He was formidably big and looked impossibly strong. His hands looked like they could crush Djaf-Rae with no problem whatsoever. He had a power, though, that was beyond the physical; carefully concealed with a kind face. Djaf-Rae couldn’t help but feel disarmed at how familiar he felt, even though they’d never met.

“Who are you? What do you want?” he asked.

“My name is Shar-Na Dinn,” he said, quietly using the Force. It was a whisper in his mind, but louder than the music. “Jedi Master and former member of the Council. There isn’t much time. I’m leaving shortly and would like to ask you for help.”

“My help? For what?”

“Finding other survivors,” he said, using his voice. The statement hung in the air as he waited for Djaf-Rae to respond.

Moments passed before Djaf-Rae looked up at Shar-Na Dinn and agreed to go with him. The two men stood up without saying a word and proceeded to the back of the cantina. Looking over his shoulder, Djaf-Rae could see Kell entering the bar and start to search for him. He wondered what drink she’d order for herself while she waited for him to show up, but he pushed away the thought with difficulty.

Stepping outside, the streets were silent compared to the cantina. The sun had fully gone down and night set all around the two Jedi, heat dissipating off the streets and shops.

“It’s a shame,” Shar-Na Dinn said. “She was very pretty.” He gently smiled a ‘thank you’ and began walking to the spaceport.

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

Master Shar-Na Dinn’s ship, Ghoster, was deceptively large. Outside, it looked like a small cargo ship, designed for carrying intra-sector goods between systems. However, with some reinforcements and upgrades throughout the engine, Shar-Na Dinn had modified it into a fast-runner.

After exiting the moon’s atmosphere, they jumped to Hyperspace and within the safety of the cockpit, Shar-Na Dinn felt comfortable enough to tell him more information.

“We’re traveling to the Adega system,” he said. “To find a Jedi Master named Mykl Anthon.”

“What makes you think he’s still alive?”

“Master Mykl Anthon exiled himself and took the Barash Vow, just before the Clone Wars began. But to be honest, I don’t know if he is still alive. I hope he is.” The uncertainty of their mission sank in, growing silent between them.

“Why would he take the Barash Vow?” Djaf-Rae asked, hoping to break the silence and learn more about what was ahead of them. “I don’t know of any living Jedi who’s done it.”

“There are a few throughout the Galaxy,” Shar-Na Dinn said. “But the Order liked to keep them quiet. Mykl Anthon was considered one of the best teachers in the Order and his leaving was a major blow to us all. His many padawans did great things and contributed greatly to the glory of the Jedi and Republic alike. Each one was simply fantastic, whether it was knowledge of the Force or their lightsaber skills. He’d put all of his energy and focus into each one of his students. Even a few of the Jedi Council members were once his pupils. He was truly a remarkable teacher, until his last padawan.”

“What happened? Who was his last padawan?”

“Jaecel Ashara,” he answered grimly. “She was taken on by Master Mykl because many of the other Jedi Masters would not teach her. As an Initiate, she was unremarkable in her abilities and showed almost no promise. Some even think she was accepted into the Order by mistake. It seemed only natural for her to end up with Master Mykl. So, when she continued to show no progress in her training, Master Mykl devoted more of himself to help her. Years went by, much longer than it should have taken and she still remained a padawan.

“Then, seemingly overnight, her power grew exponentially. She became quick as lightning and her ability to use the Force was astonishing. Truly, it was as if she’d completely transformed overnight, reborn with the spirit of fire. To many of us, it was a testament to Master Mykl’s greatness as a teacher. But we were all proven horribly wrong. It turned out that Jaecel Ashara had been turned to the Dark side and accepted the teachings of a nameless Dark Lord. Sadly, Master Mykl volunteered to hunt her down and defeat her since he’d taught much of what she knew already. The cost, though, was much greater than he anticipated.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know exactly,” continued Shar-Na Dinn. “He defeated his former student and he removed the Darkness from her lightsaber. Upon his return to the Jedi Temple, he relinquished his title to the Council and took the Barash Vow. He immediately left the Order, keeping his padawan’s lightsaber instead of his own.”

Djaf-Rae wondered what that must have been like. He’d never had a padawan, but the loss sounded painful. He’d experienced loss before, on the battlefield with his Clone troopers, however, he also knew that the bond shared between Master & Apprentice runs deeper than comradery. He thought of his own Master, Plo Koon, when Shar-Na Dinn interrupted his thoughts.

“We have some time before we arrive at Adega,” he said and ignited his lightsaber. “I haven’t dueled in a long time and it would be good to practice before we land.”

The cargo hold filled with a fire-orange glow, the familiar humm radiated off the walls as Shar-Na Dinn took a fighting stance. The heat of the saber permeated around them and the air began to warm Djaf-Rae's face.

“I wish we could,” he said, feeling somewhat embarrassed. “But my lightsaber was destroyed during my escape from the Clones.” His voice trailed off as he unwillingly remembered the fall and the lucky blaster shot that hit his lightsaber instead of him. The lucky shot that sent them both over the ledge and into the river.

“I'm sorry,” Shar-Na Dinn said, turning off his lightsaber. His hand then pulled at something around his neck, breaking the leather strap that secured it. When he brought it up to his face, he lowered his hand but the item stayed suspended in the air. Shar-Na Dinn sent it over using the Force and Djaf-Rae held out his hand to receive it.

“A Yellow Kyber crystal!?” he exclaimed. “How did yo- Where did-?” He fumbled with his words, barely able to finish a question before the next one was out of his mouth.

“An old keepsake,” he said with a smile. “From my early days. I was a Sentinel, tasked with protecting the inner-sanctum of the Jedi Council’s meditation chambers. The Clone Wars changed that, though. I grew tired of being a guard and wanted to help end the war in any way I could. I resigned from my post and constructed a new lightsaber, but kept my old crystal. Leaving the Temple Guard, though, has its consequences.”

“Consequences?”

“Yes, sort of." Shar-Na Dinn said. "You see, when I left I wanted to be on the front lines, leading troops into battle. My skills, however, were needed in...other ways.” He paused before beginning again. “For much of the war, I was conducting espionage for the Republic.”

“You were a spy!?” Djaf-Rae exclaimed. “I didn’t think Jedi could be spies. It’s against our way.”

“I said the same thing to the Council when they asked me to do it. ‘Terrible, War is’ Master Yoda said in reply. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and it always stayed with me. Once I agreed to the work I was sent far into the Galaxy, beyond the front lines, with only two Clone troopers as support. When Order-66 was executed, I was able to get away without injury. Honestly, though, I regret my decision to leave.”

“Why would you regret it?” Djaf-Rae asked.

“If I’d have stayed,” Shar-Na Dinn replied. “Maybe I could have stopped him. If I were still guarding the Temple, maybe I could have stopped the massacre. I could have saved them! Maybe I would have even stopped the entire-” he trailed off under grinding teeth. He took in a deep breath to recenter himself.

“We’re here now, alive,” Shar-Na Dinn continued. “And we have each other. I kept this crystal for a reason, that’s all that matters. I’d like you to have it, please.”

Djaf-Rae rotated the crystal in his hand and admired its beauty. He could feel its age carried in its weight. Clear rutilations shot out from deep within it’s core, dancing in the light when he turned it in his hand.

“I’ll let you get to work,” Shar-Na Dinn said. “We have some time before we arrive. Feel free to use any tech you find throughout the ship.” He climbed the ladder that led across the bay to the crew’s quarters and looked over his shoulder.

“It’s good to have you here, brother,” he said, before leaving the bay.

Djaf-Rae wasted no time and set himself loose on all the equipment in the cargo hold.

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

To be continued...
« Last Edit: June 01, 2020, 01:07:36 PM by Karmack » Logged

TheDutchman
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« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2020, 05:06:51 AM »

Wonderful beginning!  This definitely has the feel of Star Wars, delving deeper into the back story of exactly what happened to the Jedi that survived Order 66.  

I love all of the continuity nods (Kessurians, the Barash vow to name a few  Wink) but the main thrust of the story is your characters: not only can we relate to Djaf-Rae but also his pathos, even before he meets Shar-Na Dinn.  Compelling narrative; I can't wait to see what they'll do if\when they find Mykl^^

On a technical note: may I suggest that you keep your chapters together in the same thread for continuity's sake?  Maybe a mod can help with combining your two disparate threads into this one  Smiley

And if you like good SW stories I HIGHLY recommend that you read any and everything from Karmack, Lord_S_Gray, Taegin Roan, TheDrunkenConsular, and Lady Revan.  Excellent reading (superior to much of the EU books IMO).  You won't be disappointed  Wink

Good job and welcome to the fan fiction forums!
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

jsierra.ronin
Knight Aspirant
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Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 19


« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2020, 10:37:46 AM »

Wonderful beginning!  This definitely has the feel of Star Wars, delving deeper into the back story of exactly what happened to the Jedi that survived Order 66.  

I love all of the continuity nods (Kessurians, the Barash vow to name a few  Wink) but the main thrust of the story is your characters: not only can we relate to Djaf-Rae but also his pathos, even before he meets Shar-Na Dinn.  Compelling narrative; I can't wait to see what they'll do if\when they find Mykl^^

On a technical note: may I suggest that you keep your chapters together in the same thread for continuity's sake?  Maybe a mod can help with combining your two disparate threads into this one  Smiley

And if you like good SW stories I HIGHLY recommend that you read any and everything from Karmack, Lord_S_Gray, Taegin Roan, TheDrunkenConsular, and Lady Revan.  Excellent reading (superior to much of the EU books IMO).  You won't be disappointed  Wink

Good job and welcome to the fan fiction forums!



Thank you so much for your reply. This is my first Fan Fiction story and my first online community and I am honestly so thankful to be joining the group. I've been able to browse a bit and I absolutely agree on the Authors you mentioned. I cannot wait to read more and see the different creative approaches everyone chooses.

This story was actually written to accompany a surprise gift of custom lightsabers for my brothers. They don't know it's coming yet and I wanted to give them a story as to where their lightsabers "originated". What started as just a fun project, exploded into inspiration and turned into a great writing exercise!

Thank you again for your feedback and for reading. I look forward to checking more out and contributing to the community.
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jsierra.ronin
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Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 19


« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2020, 10:44:00 AM »

On a technical note: may I suggest that you keep your chapters together in the same thread for continuity's sake?  Maybe a mod can help with combining your two disparate threads into this one  Smiley

Yes, thank you. Parts 1 & 2 are actually meant to be together, I just ran into character/word limit in the post. I'd love to find a way to link them together. Is there a way to do that after the fact, or will they just kinda float around since I couldn't post it together initially?

Thanks for your help.
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2020, 03:47:23 PM »

Agree with Dutch a great start.
On a technical note to combine your thread just basically 'reply' to your own first post, if you check out any of the other stories here you will see what we mean quickly. You may have to split into multiple sections for the character limit e.g. if you have a loot at some of Dutch's or Karmacks chapters (or mine) you will notice Chapter 1- Part 1 then a post for Chapter 1 Part 2 et.c if they are longer, a little fiddly but keeps the story in one thread.

Anyway to the story a good start, good pacing, taken straight into the Order 66 betrayal and then a quite sad moment as one potential future is lost and Djaf-Rae quickly returns in a sense to his old life.
Anyway welcome to the forums, make sure to check out the Forumverse reading guide for where to start with some of our series if so inclined http://www.saberforum.com/index.php?topic=39981.msg677669#msg677669

I would strongly recommend as a great 'starter' story The Gray and the Unchained The Gray and the Unchained: The Cost of Freedom ; http://www.saberforum.com/index.php?topic=37226.0 it's a solid action adventure about two young Gray Jedi and a band of abolitionists in Hutt Space.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

jsierra.ronin
Knight Aspirant
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Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 19


« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2020, 05:37:44 PM »

Agree with Dutch a great start.
On a technical note to combine your thread just basically 'reply' to your own first post, if you check out any of the other stories here you will see what we mean quickly. You may have to split into multiple sections for the character limit e.g. if you have a loot at some of Dutch's or Karmacks chapters (or mine) you will notice Chapter 1- Part 1 then a post for Chapter 1 Part 2 et.c if they are longer, a little fiddly but keeps the story in one thread.

Anyway to the story a good start, good pacing, taken straight into the Order 66 betrayal and then a quite sad moment as one potential future is lost and Djaf-Rae quickly returns in a sense to his old life.
Anyway welcome to the forums, make sure to check out the Forumverse reading guide for where to start with some of our series if so inclined http://www.saberforum.com/index.php?topic=39981.msg677669#msg677669

I would strongly recommend as a great 'starter' story The Gray and the Unchained The Gray and the Unchained: The Cost of Freedom ; http://www.saberforum.com/index.php?topic=37226.0 it's a solid action adventure about two young Gray Jedi and a band of abolitionists in Hutt Space.



Thank you LSG, that means a lot, honestly. I actually just started The Gray and I'm highly anticipating my reading session tonight.  Btw, your collab with Kam sound epic and I can't wait to see more!!

On the story note, I may just post part 2 in another reply. It was meant to be read together and I'm a bit bummed on my mistake. No worries, though, as I look forward to contributing more someday.  I honestly appreciate your feedback. I've wanted to commit to creative fiction for such a long time and I was over-joyed finding this community.

Thank you and I look forward to talking more with you.

Respectfully,
Jeff
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Lord_S_Gray
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« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2020, 06:33:39 PM »

Thank you LSG, that means a lot, honestly. I actually just started The Gray and I'm highly anticipating my reading session tonight.  Btw, your collab with Kam sound epic and I can't wait to see more!!

On the story note, I may just post part 2 in another reply. It was meant to be read together and I'm a bit bummed on my mistake. No worries, though, as I look forward to contributing more someday.  I honestly appreciate your feedback. I've wanted to commit to creative fiction for such a long time and I was over-joyed finding this community.

Thank you and I look forward to talking more with you.

Respectfully,
Jeff

Yep exactly just put part 2 in here as a reply with the appropriate heading and go from there.
Speaking of I really liked how you did 'Vader' in part two, seen as a droid until they sense his hate, and a narrow escape, one on one they would've been crushed, they were lucky they had numbers and - at that point only a few months after order 66 - Vader still has much to learn about the darkside no doubt. Though the intervention at the end seemed almost too convenient...

You are most welcome, we are a small but friendly group, always very encouraging, we would in turn love to hear your thoughts on any of our stories.  Feedback and discussion helps everyone improve not just the technical aspects of writing (though I always encourage people to just find a style they enjoy writing and hone that) but also enriches our stories with new ideas and perspectives on your own characters and events.
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Lord_S_Gray

Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

TheDutchman
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Force Alignment: 1026
Posts: 3842


Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth


« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2020, 10:34:48 PM »

Thank you LSG, that means a lot, honestly. I actually just started The Gray and I'm highly anticipating my reading session tonight.  Btw, your collab with Kam sound epic and I can't wait to see more!!

On the story note, I may just post part 2 in another reply. It was meant to be read together and I'm a bit bummed on my mistake. No worries, though, as I look forward to contributing more someday.  I honestly appreciate your feedback. I've wanted to commit to creative fiction for such a long time and I was over-joyed finding this community.

Thank you and I look forward to talking more with you.

Respectfully,
Jeff
LSG is perfectly on point: I have to admit that "The Gray&Unchained" is a fantastic stepping-in story for the Forumverse.  From LSG's phenomenal storyboarding to Karm's outstanding writing (and the input that they both offered me), that collaboration was amongst my favorites.  Without a doubt, working with the two of them helped make me a better writer; you will NOT be disappointed  Smiley
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub

Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

Karmack
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Light side points please.


« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2020, 01:06:19 PM »

*** Originally posted by jsierra.ronin.   I just moved it here.  -Karmack ***

Lost Jedi
Part 2



The Republic has FALLEN. The newly formed EMPIRE, ruled by the cunning Emperor Palpatine, has scattered all forms of light and hope throughout the galaxy.

Darth Vader, formerly Anakin Skywalker, destroyed the Jedi Temple and Order-66 ruthlessly dispatched nearly every Jedi serving in the Clone Wars. Those who survived, remain lost.

Hunted by agents of the Empire, Jedi Master Shar-Na Dinn and Jedi Knight Djaf-Rae search desperately for other survivors. On Adega, a moon in the outer rim, the two continue their search and try to stay below the Empire's radar....

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

Adega’s cold jungle completely surrounded the planet. Impossibly old, the trees grew together into massive vines that acted as roadways. The canopy was thicker than anything Djaf-Rae had seen before, covering the forest floor in acute darkness throughout most of the day.

“There’s an ancient Jedi Temple,” Shar-Na Dinn said, flying his ship into orbit and descending into Adega’s atmosphere without issue. “We should start there. With any luck, we’ll be the only one’s looking for him.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Djaf-Rae said.

Shar-Na Dinn piloted his ship directly into the canopy, breaking through the barrier of branches that stretched across the sky. A pillar of light followed their ship through the ceiling and illuminated the temple below.

“There we have it!” he exclaimed. He brought the ship around and landed it in the main courtyard.

Djaf-Rae and Shar-Na Dinn exited the craft and could immediately feel the loneliness of the world they’d come to. A cold wind quietly howled in the distance and the air was choking with density. It wasn’t too difficult to breathe, however, it wasn’t too comfortable, either.

The temple was a simple stone structure beset upon a tall mountainside. The entrance was shabbled and dusty, looking like it had gone without care for a long time. The two Jedi looked at each other and immediately ignited their lightsabers. Orange and yellow light burst out and spilled over the surrounding area.

“It looks abandoned,” Djaf-Rae said. “Do you think-

“I don’t know what to think, yet,” Shar-Na Dinn cut in. “This only means the temple is empty, nothing more.” The two walked throughout the grounds to find any clues that could helm them.

“We should split up,” Djaf-Rae said. “We can cover more ground that way.” But before they could agree, an eruption white light burst from behind them. The familiar humm of a lightsaber joined the chorus of theirs and a man stood upon the edge of the temple wall. His face was emotionless as he looked down upon the two lost Jedi.

“Who are you?” he asked. “Why have you come here?”
Shar-Na Dinn looked to Djaf-Rae, signalling for them to put away their weapons. Once they did, white light engulfed the three men and flared outward into the shaded world.

“My name is Shar-Na Dinn,” he began. “We’ve come to see if you’d still be alive out here. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to find you. I’ve begun searching throughout the Galaxy for any and all Jedi I could find. This is Djaf-Rae and he is traveling with me.” The man looked back at them with cold eyes.

“Not long ago,” he said. “I felt a great disturbance in the Force. As if suddenly countless voices cried out in pain. I felt betrayal running rife throughout the Galaxy, as darkness surrounded all connections I shared with distant friends. Since that day, I’ve felt nothing,” he trailed off.

“That’s why we came.” Shar-Na Dinn replied. “A lot has happened since you went into exile, Mykl Anthon, and I’m afraid we need all the help we can get if we hope to survive.” The impact of the statement hung in the air, as the memory of betrayal ran through his mind.

“You’ve said all I need to hear,” Mykl Anthon said. “Come with me, my home is not far from here. I have some supplies we can take with us.” He put away his weapon and began running up the mountain behind the temple. Djaf-Rae and Shar-Na Dinn followed quickly behind.

The hovel Mykl Anthon called home was small, but comfortable. The one room structure was round with small windows that looked out in every direction. Walking inside, Mykl Anthon started immediately digging through a footlocker at the base of his workbench. He tossed bits of tech aside and filtered through a stack of what looked like untraceable credits, sticking some in his pockets and throwing others away. Shar-Na Dinn and Djaf-Rae stood in the kitchen area while they waited for him to finish.

Mykl Anthon stopped suddenly almost freezing in place.

“Darkness is coming,” he said. “I can feel it.”

The air in the hut grew impossibly cold and a chill ran through each one of them. It felt as if all hope had departed and a distant cry was all they had left to hold on to for their survival. Hopelessness ran through their very bones and the ground looked evermore comfortable to lay down upon.

“I can feel it as well,” Shar-Na Dinn said.

Djaf-Rae felt it, too, and it was terrifying. The shape that formed in his mind was faceless and terrible. A formidable power was coming their way.
“We  have to hurry,” Djaf-Rae said. “If we move quickly, we can jump to lightspeed unnoticed.” He ran to Mykl’s side, grabbing a shoulder bag on a nearby chair. There was a blaster on the table and he stuffed it into the shoulder bag before finding two power couplings that would come in handy in a pinch.

“It’s too late,” Shar-Na Dinn said, stopping the two. “It’s already here.”

As he said the words, the wind began to swirl into every window. The scream of an Imperial TIE fighter grew louder as it came closer. Taking shape on the horizon, it's black wings were somehow darker than the sky it flew in. Shar-Na Dinn turned to his brothers, putting a hand on each shoulder.

“Is there a way out?” he said and Mykl Anthon nodded.

“There’s a back door. It leads up through the mountain on a small trail I’ve cut.”

“Good,” Shar-Na Dinn replied. “Take Djaf-Rae and get to my ship. He knows the launch codes. Find Jocasta Nu and help her restore the Order. You must take a different path. All our hope lies with you now.” There was no time to debate and they all knew it. Shar-Na Dinn was sacrificing himself so they could escape.

They said nothing as he turned and walked out the front of the house. The wind whipped through the windows as landing struts could be heard unfurling and touching down. Djaf-Rae stood motionless as his newest friend walked out of his life and into the darkness. Mykl Anthon grabbed his shoulder, gently breaking the trance and urging him out the back door.

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

Stepping through the door, Shar-Na Dinn was assailed with a rush of exhaust. The engines whirled to a stop and the dust began to slowly settle around him. A brief moment passed before the pressure released from the entrance bay and the ramp extended to the ground. There were no lights coming from within the ship and a shadow filled the doorway, breathing steadily.

Krissshhh-Hhhwooo. Krissshhh-Hhhwooo. Krissshhh-Hhhwooo.

Walking down the ramp with heavy, deliberate steps came a dark figure under a billowing cape. The shine from it’s black helmet reflected what little light there was with a dark and sinister shadow. Reaching the end of the walkway and standing before Shar-Na Dinn, it spoke.

“It was foretold you would be here,” it said. The voice that came from the mouthless creature sounded more mechanical than organic, but Shar-Na Dinn could feel that there was a man under it all. With whatever heart was left, it was filled with hate and suffering. “You would be wise to surrender.”

“You stink of darkness,” he said defiantly, igniting his lightsaber. The orange glow illuminated the face of the dark machine-man; the face of evil. “But even through the stench, I know who you are....Skywalker.” The name barely escaped his lips before he launched forward.

“Fool.” it said and effortlessly stopped the advance. Shar-Na Dinn was stopped frozen, held in place by a strength he’d never encountered before. Overcome with struggle, he began fighting an invisible snake in the darkness, coiling around his neck and closing his windpipe. He choked on his own efforts, realizing that his feet were being lifted off the ground from beneath him. Violently, he was tossed from side to side, in a hideous display of control and power. He flailed helplessly in the air as every muscle in his body began to atrophy with pain.

His world closing in, darkness enveloped him in a fatal grasp. In the distance, he thought he saw a white comet streak across the sky; it’s brilliant coma shining bright against the shadow of the world. The light made it almost peaceful as he faded to black. The last thing he heard was the masked voice.

“You are mine.”

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

The back door connected to a small tunnel, exiting to a foot trail that led up the mountain. Mykl Anthon and Djaf-Rae came out of the cave a short distance away from the home itself and could hear the engines whirl down to a stop. Yet, instead of running for the ship they looked back to their friend.

“We can’t leave him,” Mykl Anthon said.

“No, we can’t,” Djaf-Rae said. “What should we do?”

Without an answer, they both made their way back to the home, crawling up the backside onto the roof. What they saw filled them with terror.

Shar-Na Dinn was being held in place, suspended in the air and flailing from side to side. He was being violently thrown around by a dark figure, standing at the base of the TiE fighter. The sheer power that came from the figure was intoxicating.

“Is...is that some kind of droid?” Djaf-Rae asked, near speechless. The thing looked like a droid, but Djaf-Rae felt rage pouring from every inch of it. It was angry at the sight of Shar-Na Dinn and it was taking great joy in seeing him suffer.

“No,” Mykl Anthon said, gripping his lightsaber. “That’s no droid. Droids don’t hate.”

Mykl Anthon was quick. Faster than anything Djaf-Rae had seen before. Without moving from his place, he launched himself from his position in a dizzying exertion of Force energy. Soaring into the sky, he ignited his lightsaber and filled the world with white light. In that moment, he shone brighter than any star that had ever existed. He flew through the air like a comet in the night and possessed the strength of every Jedi that came before him. Time seemed to stop as Mykl Anthon, for the briefest of moments, held the hope of the Galaxy in his hands.

Djaf-Rae ran under his contrail with everything he had, hoping he’d catch Shar-Na Dinn before the strike landed.

Mykl Anthon came down upon the creature with the force of nature itself, but a beam of red shot up to meet him and they erupted with molten plasma. The two clashed and began the dance of death, violently striking at each other as sparks erupted around them. The dark figure was fast, but Mykl Anthon was faster.

As the two met, the connection to Shar-Na Dinn was severed and Djaf-Rae barely caught him and he dropped to the ground. After tumbling for a moment, they landed safely and Djaf-Rae breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friend was still alive.

Mykl Anthon landed strike after strike and the dark figure met each one. The whirling humm and crash of their sabers filled the air with conflict and terror. The power had shifted and Mykl Anthon was driving the fight away from the others. His lightsaber crashed down in an incredible display of balance and resolve. He pushed the creature back with each horrific blow, parrying delicately around the inhuman strikes of his adversary. It was growing tired against Mykl’s use of the Light, straining to hold ground and desperately defending against each attack. Another strike and Mykl caught the creature’s left shoulder. Spinning quickly to his right, he severed the beast’s right hand.

“Aaagghh,” it let out, as the red lightsaber fell to the floor. The dark figure stumbled and gave way, giving Mykl Anthon a clear strike to end this struggle. One final blow to restore peace throughout the Galaxy.  Wasting no time and striking quicker than lightning, Mykl Anthon drove his saber down on the defenseless creature.

Yet, instead of slicing through, his weapon stopped dead in its place.

Hovering just above the dark figure, Mykl Anthon’s lightsaber was met with an unbelievable Force. He’d never seen someone who could stop a saber before it’s strike, and it was all he could do to resist the fear that came when he realized what was happening.

The Force bent the dark figure’s will, even against Mykl Anthon’s influence over it. With considerable strain, the dark figure then pushed hard against his lightsaber, casting it aside and throwing it to the ground. The dark figure raised its hand to push against him, but Mykl’s rose to meet it. Their hands came closer together and the Force between them buckled under the pressure, as if two oppositely charged magnets were forced to touch.

The air between them wound in tension to a near breaking point as Mykl began to feel the immense power before him. He thought of his brothers in that moment, and if he failed them now, then they’d all die. A bubble formed around the two as Mykl struggled with all his might to hold back the dark figure. The air completely stopped between them, but the wind all around the two began to pick up speed and a cyclone erupted high into the sky. Rocks floated in weightless suspension as the ground beneath them buckled under their pressure and snapped.

Like a thunderclap, they were sent hurling in opposite directions through the sky. The energy under the cyclone dissipated, but the rain stayed. Mykl was moving almost too fast for Djaf-Rae to see, but he ran after his brother with all the strength he could find, rushing to meet him in a desperate attempt to save his life. His final steps hurled him into a leap of faith, shooting through the raindrops and into the air. His hand stretched out for his brother and he reached as hard as he could, hoping he’d judged the distance correctly and didn’t miss him altogether.

His fingers gently brushed against Mykl’s shoulder, but that was all he needed to grab hold of him. He tightened his hold on his shirt and he pulled his brother close as they spun and tumbled to the ground.

The rain continued to fall, softly landing on Djaf-Rae’s face. The night sky quietly rumbled in the distance and a gentle breeze brushed against his skin as he closed his eyes in exhaustion.

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

Shar-Na Dinn opened his eyes and breathed in the familiar smell of his ship’s life-support system. Rising from the medical bed, he struggled to subside the pain that throbbed in his head. He stood and saw that Mykl Anthon laid unconscious in the other bay.

The floor of the ship vibrated gently and Shar-Na Dinn knew they were in hyperspace. He walked up to the cockpit and Djaf-Rae sat in the pilot’s seat, both hands on the monitor in front of him. He turned in his chair, a relieved smile crept on his face.

“You’re okay,” he said. “I hoped you’d be.”

Shar-Na Dinn sat in the co-pilot’s seat to rest. The walk was not far from the medical bay, but he was tired already. He knew he’d have a long road ahead to recover fully.

“What happened?” he asked.

“It’s hard to explain,” Djaf-Rae finished.

“How did we get back to the ship?”

“After I’d caught Mykl-”

Footsteps came from behind them that startled Shar-Na Dinn. In the doorway stood a woman with short brown hair and a green lightsaber on her hip.

“I found you all,” she said. “I’m Jennif Zarr.” The look on her face was deadly, but not unkind. Shar-Na Dinn felt a distinct power coming from her, unlike anything he’d felt before.

“You’re a Force Witch,” he said.

“Was,” she cut in. “But times have changed.” The statement hung in the air between them as Shar-Na Dinn felt uncertain of their new comrade.

“Yes,” Djaf-Rae said, cutting in. “Times have changed, and we need all the help we can get.” He looked over to Shar-Na Dinn and nodded with reassurance, encouraging the inclusion.

“The Force works in mysterious ways,” Shar-Na Dinn said. “Thank you for finding us and saving us.”
Jennif Zarr nodded, with strength in her eyes and face of resolve.

“What do we do now?” she asked.

“We survive,” Shar-Na Dinn said. “We’ll find more survivors, and with luck a New Hope will emerge to deliver us from this darkness.”

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *
« Last Edit: June 01, 2020, 02:38:23 PM by Karmack » Logged

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Master Singer of the Mak'Tor

TheDutchman
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« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2020, 02:19:44 PM »

Three cheers for Karm!!!

(It's good to have friends in high places 
Grin)
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

jsierra.ronin
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« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2020, 05:25:53 PM »

Three cheers for Karm!!!

(It's good to have friends in high places 
Grin)

I agree with you wholeheartedly! It was a delightful surprise to have his help and it's been a fantastic introduction to the community.

Everyone has been wonderful and I feel so grateful to have found this forum. I'm looking forward to reading/writing more!! The Gray has been epic so far and I'm beyond excited to read more from the rest of the community. Everyone's writing has been so awesome and I feel like I could learn A LOT from everyone's talent here.

Thanks again for reading and responding. 
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jsierra.ronin
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« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2020, 09:48:53 AM »

I'd like to start by expressing my gratitude for everyone's feedback so far. I've just received notification that my sabers are on their way and I am very excited to have them arrive soon.

Reflecting on the story and getting it ready to be printed and sent with my brother's sabers, I find myself wanting to remove the last section entirely (with the group waking in the ship, being found by Jennif Zarr). If I'm honest with myself, this section was thrown in the last minute and it kinda breaks the vibe that was built up through the journey of the three brothers. Plus, there is a bit more suspense if I cut this out and will give us a bunch of things to talk about after they're done reading it.

Everyone's encouragement really has given me a renewed sense of inspiration. If I decide to continue their journey, would you all suggest I post more replies in this thread, or start a new one? Just want to stay within the protocol. Smiley

As the sabers arrive, I'll send pictures of each one that belongs to the Jedi in the story.

Thanks again. Y'all are fantastic.
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TheDutchman
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« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2020, 10:13:13 AM »

I'd like to start by expressing my gratitude for everyone's feedback so far. I've just received notification that my sabers are on their way and I am very excited to have them arrive soon.

Reflecting on the story and getting it ready to be printed and sent with my brother's sabers, I find myself wanting to remove the last section entirely (with the group waking in the ship, being found by Jennif Zarr). If I'm honest with myself, this section was thrown in the last minute and it kinda breaks the vibe that was built up through the journey of the three brothers. Plus, there is a bit more suspense if I cut this out and will give us a bunch of things to talk about after they're done reading it.

Everyone's encouragement really has given me a renewed sense of inspiration. If I decide to continue their journey, would you all suggest I post more replies in this thread, or start a new one? Just want to stay within the protocol. Smiley

As the sabers arrive, I'll send pictures of each one that belongs to the Jedi in the story.

Thanks again. Y'all are fantastic.
You're right: everyone here is great, they're support, suggestions, and feedback outstanding!  I can tell you unequivocally that the constructive criticism of my fellow writers has helped me immensely!  And on that note...

Jsierra, your story is going well!  If I might make a suggestion (or two  Wink): keep the chapters coming!  Also, I'd keep any subsequent chapters within this thread; and to correct what you would like to rewrite, repost your second chapter but only the part that you wish to keep/work forward from.  I feel confident in speaking for us all in that not only would we like for you to continue, enjoying future installments, but also that we'll be able to follow your redirect without any adverse effects  Smiley

Another point: congratulations with your sabers!  Here in the forums we love pics (if you're able to/feel so inclined^^)  Smiley

Looking forward to seeing where you take us with your narrative!
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Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'Dan

My sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY

jsierra.ronin
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« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2020, 04:35:25 PM »

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *
Lost Jedi
Part 2a - rewrite

Adega’s cold jungle completely surrounded the planet in a thick canopy of leaves and branches. Impossibly old, the trees grew together into massive vines that acted as roadways. The canopy was thicker than anything Djaf-Rae had seen before, covering the forest floor in acute darkness throughout most of the days. 

“There’s an ancient Jedi Temple located here,” Shar-Na Dinn said, flying his ship into orbit and descending into Adega’s atmosphere without issue. “We should start there. With any luck, we’ll be the only one’s looking for him.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Djaf-Rae said.

Shar-Na Dinn piloted his ship directly into the canopy, breaking through the barrier of branches that stretched across the sky. A pillar of light followed their ship through the ceiling and illuminated the ground below, with the Jedi temple illuminated in the distance.

“There we have it!” Shar-Na Dinn exclaimed with a smile. He brought the ship around and landed it in the main courtyard.

Djaf-Rae and Shar-Na Dinn exited the craft and could immediately feel the loneliness of the world they’d come to. A cold wind quietly howled in the distance and the air was choking with density. It wasn’t too difficult to breathe, however, it wasn’t too comfortable, either.

The temple was a simple stone structure beset upon a tall mountainside. The entrance was shabbled and dusty, looking like it had gone without care for a long time. The two Jedi looked at each other and immediately ignited their lightsabers. Orange and yellow light burst out and spilled over the surrounding area. 

“It looks abandoned,” Djaf-Rae said. “Do you think-

“I don’t know what to think, yet,” Shar-Na Dinn cut in. “This only means the temple is empty, nothing more.” The two walked throughout the grounds to find any clues that could help them.

“We should split up,” Djaf-Rae said. “We can cover more ground that way.” But before they could agree, an eruption white light burst from behind them. The familiar humm of a lightsaber joined the chorus of theirs and a man stood upon the edge of the temple wall. His face was emotionless as he looked down upon the two lost Jedi.

“Who are you?” he asked. “Why have you come here?”

Shar-Na Dinn looked to Djaf-Rae, signalling for them to put away their weapons. Once they did, white light engulfed the three men and flared outward into the shaded world. Behind the glow of his saber he could be seen more clearly now. His long, dark hair draped over his brow, barely obscuring the scar across the left cheek. His eyes were deepened in a mix of age, exhaustion and sadness, drinking in the light around them and showcasing the terrible things he’d seen.

“My name is Shar-Na Dinn,” he began. “We’ve come to see if you’d still be alive out here. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to find you. I’ve begun searching throughout the Galaxy for any and all Jedi I can find. This is Djaf-Rae and he is traveling with me.” 

“Not long ago,” he replied, coldly. “I felt a great disturbance in the Force. As if suddenly countless voices cried out in pain. I felt betrayal running rife throughout the Galaxy, as darkness surrounded all connections I shared with distant friends. Since that day, I’ve felt nothing,” he trailed off.

“That’s why we came.” Shar-Na Dinn said. “A lot has happened since you went into exile, Mykl Anthon, and I’m afraid we need all the help we can get if we hope to survive.” The impact of the statement hung in the air, as the memory of betrayal ran through their minds.

“You’ve said all I need to hear,” Mykl Anthon said. “Come with me, my home is not far from here. I have some supplies we can take with us.” He put away his weapon and began running up the mountain, showing them his trail behind the temple. Djaf-Rae and Shar-Na Dinn followed quickly behind. 

The hovel Mykl Anthon called home was small, but comfortable. The one room structure was round with small windows that looked out in every direction. Walking inside, Mykl Anthon started immediately digging through a footlocker at the base of his workbench. He tossed bits of tech aside and filtered through a stack of what looked like untraceable credits, sticking some in his pockets and throwing others away. Shar-Na Dinn and Djaf-Rae stood in the entrance while they waited for him to finish.

Mykl Anthon stopped suddenly, freezing in place. He dropped the gear in his hand and stood slowly.

“Darkness is coming,” he said in a cold voice. “I can feel it.”

The air in the hut then grew impossibly cold and a frozen zephyr ran through each one of their hearts. It felt as if all hope had departed and their only hope for survival was a distant cry at the edge of hearing. Hopelessness ran through them and darkness shrouded their minds.

“I can feel it as well,” Shar-Na Dinn said. 

Djaf-Rae felt it, too, and it was terrifying. The shape that formed in his mind was faceless and dreadful. A formidable power was coming their way.

“We  have to hurry,” Djaf-Rae said, trying to hold back feelings of panic. “If we move quickly, we can jump to lightspeed unnoticed.” He ran to Mykl’s side, grabbing a shoulder bag on a nearby chair. There was a blaster on the table and he stuffed it into the shoulder bag before finding two power couplings that would come in handy in a pinch.

“It’s too late,” Shar-Na Dinn said, stopping the two. “It’s already here.” As he said the words, the wind began to swirl into every window. Taking shape on the horizon, it's black wings were somehow darker than the sky it flew in. The scream of an Imperial TIE fighter grew louder as it came closer to land in the temple courtyard. 

Shar-Na Dinn turned to his brothers, putting a hand on each shoulder.

“Is there a way out?” he asked and Mykl Anthon nodded nervously.

“There’s a back door. It leads up through the mountain on a small trail I’ve cut.”

“Good,” Shar-Na Dinn replied, with calm resolve in his voice. “Take Djaf-Rae and get to my ship. He knows the launch codes. Find Jocasta Nu and help her restore the Order. I’ve left a holocron on the ship with everything I know and what you need to continue my work.” He paused, looking at his two brothers. “You must take a different path. All our hope lies with you, now.” 

There was no time to debate and they all knew it. Shar-Na Dinn was sacrificing himself so they could escape.

They said nothing as he turned and walked out the front of the hut. The wind whipped through the windows as landing struts could be heard unfurling and touching down. 

Djaf-Rae stood motionless as his newest friend, his brother, walked out of his life and into the darkness. Mykl Anthon grabbed his shoulder, gently breaking his trance and urging him out the back door.

*          **          **          **          **          **          **          *

Stepping through the door, Shar-Na Dinn was assailed with a rush of exhaust. The wind pushed him hard and a normal being would have fallen to the floor with the blast, but Jedi Master Shar-Na Dinn used the Force to hold him steady. Like a pillar, he stood tall against the coming evil. The engines whirled to a winding stop and the dust slowly settled around him. A brief moment passed before the pressure released from the entrance bay and the ramp extended to the ground. 

There were no lights coming from within the ship and only a shadow filled the doorway. Darker than anything Shar-Na Dinn had seen before, the power that flowed from the being was disorienting. Beneath the engines and under the darkness he heard a steady breathing. It felt mechanical and amplified through some sort of respirator.

Krissshhh-Hhhwooo. Krissshhh-Hhhwooo. Krissshhh-Hhhwooo.

It repeated over and over again at a relentlessly regular pace. Walking down the ramp with heavy, deliberate steps came a dark figure under a billowing black cape. A machine-man with a black helmet that reflected what little light there was with a dark and sinister shadow. Reaching the end of the walkway and standing before Shar-Na Dinn, it spoke.

“It was foretold you would be here,” it said. The voice that came from the mouthless mask sounded more mechanical than organic, but Shar-Na Dinn could feel that there was a man under it all. “You would be wise to surrender.” 

A silent wind whipped the machine-man’s cape up and behind him in a wild frenzy, yet the figure stood still as stone.

“You stink of darkness,” Shar-Na Dinn spat defiantly, igniting his lightsaber. The orange glow illuminated the face of the dark machine-man; the face of evil. “But even through the stench, I know who you are....Skywalker.” 

The name barely escaped his lips before he launched forward. Mustering all the strength he had and funneled it through the Force, he jetted forward with the speed of a rocket. Dashing left and right, he launched himself forward and brought his lightsaber above his head in a blazing display of elegance and fury.

“Fool,” Darth Vader said. He raised his left hand and brought his thumb and forefinger together in a pincer motion. Shar-Na Dinn felt an unbelievable sensation throughout his entire body and was held in place by a strength he’d never encountered before. His advance was stopped immediately and he was overcome with struggle. He began fighting an invisible strangle in the darkness, coiling around his neck and closing his windpipe. He choked on his own efforts, realizing that his feet were being lifted off the ground. He then felt a sudden throw from his left, sending him hurling violently in the other direction. He was tossed from side to side, in a hideous display of control and power. He flailed helplessly in the air as every muscle in his body began to atrophy in pain. The orange from his saber disappeared and the night sky filled his mind.

His world began closing in. Darkness enveloped him in a fatal grasp and he felt helpless in the wind. He thought of his two brothers, hoping they were far away from this pain and agony. Hoping against all hope that they’d continue his mission and bring peace back to the Galaxy. The dark side was strong now and closed his mind from all thought and time, filling his heart with a fear so terrible that he was frozen still beyond any kind of emotion. 

Choking on his own air, he floated above the ground and looked into the night sky above him. In the distance, he thought he saw a white comet streak across the sky; it’s brilliant contrail shining bright against the shadow of the world. The white light made it almost peaceful as he faded to black. 

The last thing he heard was the masked voice.

“You are mine.” 
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jsierra.ronin
Knight Aspirant
*

Force Alignment: 0
Posts: 19


« Reply #14 on: August 10, 2020, 04:36:56 PM »

Lost Jedi
Part 2b - rewrite

The back door of the hut connected to a small tunnel, exiting to a foot trail that led up the mountain. Mykl Anthon and Djaf-Rae came out of the cave a short distance away from the home and could hear the engines whirl down to a stop in the courtyard. They began to climb the mountain, bristling against the thorny bushes that lined the small trail cut by Mykl.

“I didn’t think you meant it was this small!” Djaf-Rae said, half in jest and half in frustration.

“I don’t manage this trail often.”

“Then what do you do here!?”

The two reached the top of the hill above the courtyard in time for the engines to go silent. A quiet wind rustled in the trees, bringing a slight chill with it. They looked to their right and saw their ship, ready for take off. Yet, instead of running for their escape, they looked back to their friend. Their brother. 

“We can’t leave him,” Mykl Anthon said.

“No, we can’t,” Djaf-Rae replied. “What should we do?” 

They both looked at each other and without an answer, they both made their way back to the hut. Once they reached the hut, they crawled up the back side and on to the roof, overlooking the courtyard. They could see the Imperial TIE fighter below, yet it looked somewhat different. It felt more sinister. The ramp was extended and a tall, dark figure stood at it’s base. 

An orange light erupted in the courtyard and engulfed the two men. Shar-Na Dinn charged forward but was suddenly stopped a moment later. Mykle Anthon and Djaf-Rae’s hearts began to fill with horror as they witnessed their brother being held in place, suspended in the air and flailing from side to side. He was being violently thrown around by a dark figure, a machine-man standing at the base of the TIE fighter. The sheer power that came from the thing was intoxicating. 

“Is...is that some kind of droid?” Djaf-Rae asked, near speechless. The thing looked like a machine, but Djaf-Rae felt rage pouring from every inch of it. It was angry at the sight of Shar-Na Dinn and it was taking great joy in seeing him suffer.

“No,” Mykl Anthon said, gripping his lightsaber. “That’s no droid. Droids don’t hate.”

“What should we do?” Djaf-Rae asked. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” Master Shar-Na Dinn was much more powerful than Djaf-Rae, he felt it the moment he met him. And for how much he spoke well of Mykl Anthon’s power and skill, he was surprised when they met him that his power was much less than Shar-Na Dinn’s. 

But for a being to be able to do this to someone as powerful as Shar-Na Dinn sent a visceral fear down the spines of both Mykl Anthon and Djaf-Rae. 

A thud ran through Djaf-Rae’s chest, interrupting his thoughts. Mykl Anthon used the Force to leap into the air and toward his friend. Without so much as taking a step, he flew up and into the night. Without a word of coordination, Mykl Anthon sprung into action and into the fight.

He was quick. Faster than anything Djaf-Rae had seen before. Exploding into the sky, he soared through air like a comet in the night. He ignited his lightsaber and white light filled the sky, leaving a contrail in his wake. In that moment, he shone brighter than any star that had ever existed. Time seemed to stop as Mykl Anthon, for the briefest of moments, held the hope of the Galaxy in his hands. 

Without thinking, Djaf-Rae ran as fast as he could under his contrail and hoped he’d catch Shar-Na Dinn before Mykl Anthon landed his strike. He breathed hard and pushed himself with the Force to give him speed. It took almost everything he had to keep pace.

Mykl Anthon came down upon the machine-man with the force of nature itself. But a beam from Vader’s red lightsaber shot up to meet him, erupting with molten plasma sparks. The two clashed and began the dance of death, violently striking at each other as white-red sparks landed all around them. Mykl Anthon was fast, but Vader was faster.

As the two met, the connection to Shar-Na Dinn was severed and Djaf-Rae hurled himself into the air. Shar-Na Dinn’s bone-limp body tumbled to the ground and Djaf-Rae reached for his brother, barely catching him before he hit the ground. After rolling for a moment, they stopped safely and Djaf-Rae breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his brother was still alive.

Mykl Anthon continued to land strike after strike only to have Vader meet each one. The whirling humm and crash of their sabers filled the air with conflict and terror. The rising humm of their blades fractured the molecules between them and sizzled with anger. Mykl Anthon’s breathing began to quicken and the world around him tunneled in on Vader’s face. The chaos of the moment was deafening, yet Vader’s respirator continued its methodic pace.

Krissshhh-Hhhwooo. Krissshhh-Hhhwooo. Krissshhh-Hhhwooo.

The power shifted and Mykl Anthon began driving the fight away from the others. He pushed Vader back with each horrific blow, parrying delicately around the inhuman strikes of his adversary. It was growing tired against Mykl’s use of the Light, straining to hold ground and desperately defending against each attack. 

Another strike, and Mykl caught Vader’s left shoulder. Spinning quickly to his right, he sliced again and severed the beast’s right hand.

“GAAAH,” it let out, as the red lightsaber disappeared and fell to the ground. Vader stumbled and gave way, giving Mykl Anthon a clear opening to end this struggle. One final blow to restore peace throughout the Galaxy.  Wasting no time and striking quicker than lightning, Mykl Anthon drove his saber down on the machine-man. 

Yet, instead of slicing through, his weapon stopped dead in its place. 

Hovering just above Vader, Mykl Anthon’s lightsaber was held with an unbelievable Force. He’d never seen someone who could stop a lightsaber mid-strike, and it took all his strength to resist the fear that came when he realized what was happening. 

The Force bent to Vader’s will, even against Mykl Anthon’s influence over it. Mykl Anthon soon realized that the strength he’d been channeling when the fight began was merely from the surprise of the attack. Now that he had Vader’s attention, the fight took a mortal turn.

“NNNGH” Vader said with considerable strain as he then pushed hard against Mykl’s lightsaber and cast it aside. Vader then raised his hand in an open palm and began to push against Mykle with the Force. Without thinking, Mykl raised his hand to meet Vader’s and began to push back. They locked the Force between them, buckling under their pressure and snapping the delicate veil of reality.

The air surrounding them wound in tension to a near breaking point as Mykl began to feel the immense power before him. He thought of his brothers in that moment, and if he failed them now, then they’d all die. The wind turned to chaos in the immense power and swirled in a deadly storm. The faces of his brothers filled his mind and he felt love flow through his heart. This is the end, he thought to himself

A bubble formed around the two as Mykl struggled with all his might to hold back the dark figure. The air completely stopped between them, acting as an eye to the storm. The wind all around them began to pick up speed and a cyclone erupted high into the sky, shooting into the stars. Rocks floated in weightless suspension as the ground beneath them buckled under their pressure. 

A sudden thunderclap snapped in the air and the Force between them exploded in a polarized charge of energy. They were sent hurling in opposite directions through the sky at impossible speeds, cutting through the rain and pushing the water aside. The energy under the cyclone dissipated and the wind storm calmed beneath it. 

Mykl was moving almost too fast for Djaf-Rae to see, but he ran after his brother nonetheless with all the strength he could find. He rushed to meet him in a desperate attempt to save his life, if he were still alive at all. He mustered his knowledge of the Force and propelled himself in a run akin to a jet engine. His muscles ached and his blood boiled like battery acid, but he refused to let up. He refused to stop until he had his brother safe, dead or alive.

His final steps hurled him into a leap of faith, shooting through the raindrops and into the air. His hand stretched out for his brother and he stretched as far out as he could, hoping he’d judged the distance correctly and didn’t miss him altogether. 

His fingers only gently brushed against Mykl’s shoulder, but that was all he needed to grab hold of him. He tightened his hold on his shirt and he pulled his brother close as they spun and tumbled to the ground. Wrapping his arms around Mykl Anthon, he cushioned their fall with the Force and they rolled to a stop.

The rain continued to fall, softly landing on Djaf-Rae’s face. He felt drained and found it hard to breathe in the thick, humid air. The dirt turned to mud between his fingers and he could feel the water soaking through his clothes. The night sky quietly rumbled in the distance and a gentle breeze brushed against his skin as he closed his eyes in exhaustion.

To be continued...

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The lightsabers for each of the Jedi in this story have finally arrived! I will be taking pictures soon and I'll post them to this thread as soon as I can. We just moved into our new home, so things have been a bit hectic for us around here but I am so very excited to be posting this rewrite. Its been on my mind for quite some time and I have much more planned for the arc of these three characters. I have more chapters coming with plans for new characters and deeper takes on life under the rule of the Empire. 

Looking forward to your feedback. Thanks again, everyone. It's wonderful to be able to come back to the forum
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