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Author Topic: Kai Kotel (OC) Part 1  (Read 460 times)
Force Sensitive

Force Alignment: 1
Posts: 7


« on: November 22, 2020, 06:40:41 PM »

5 years before the Great Jedi Purge, Kai Kotel (They/Them), a 20 year old Apprentice is living on a secretive compound on Tattooine.

Hot, desert suns. A concrete sanctuary.  Within its walls reside an unorthodox order of Dark Side users, calling themselves Dissident Sith. Among their ranks are Darth Kartek and her Apprentice Kai Kotel.
Dissident Sith training is rigorous, dangerous, and often deadly. 15 years of intensive training in and study of the Dark Side, combined with the philosophy of the Dissident Sith, has firmly cemented passion, empathy and rebellion within Kai's heart and mind.
Kai's crackling yellow lightsaber rips through the air with ferocious intent, clashing with the blazing red blade of Kartek. They exchange saber strikes, sparks flying into the arid wind. A brilliant display of flashes and sparks ensues, the sabers colliding and slashing almost quicker than the eye can perceive. Kai growls in frustration and lets out a scream of rage.
They slice the air with a hasty overhead strike, only to be dodged and parried with a sweep kick by the Dissident Sith Master. Kai loses their balance and falls backwards, laying in the sizzling sand.
Kartek force pulls Kai's lightsaber to her hand and points it at Kai's throat, along with her own vicious red blade.
A melancholy grin forms across the heavily scarred face of the Zabrak Master.
'Heh. Not quite, young apprentice.
You are too focused on winning, and relying upon your anger too much to win a fight. Remember, conceive strategies to ensure victory, and use your anger in service of good.'
She presses her saber's switch, shutting off the ancient weapon. It had seen many years of loyalty to the order, and had been ceremonially passed on to new Masters upon the death of their own Dissident Sith Masters.
Kai turns a deep red with embarrassment.
'Yes, Master. I shall do well to focus more on the battle and channel my anger towards it, rather than getting carried away and straying from my training.'
Kartek chuckles heartily and uses the force to place Kai back on their feet.
'Take your blade, appr-'
Morbo, the compound guard interrupts the two with a frantic message.
Kartek sighs and hands back the apprentice's lightsaber.
'Go investigate, Kotel.'
Kai nods and leaves the compound, perusing the mysterious figures on their hoverbike..

lemme know what you peeps think! any suggestions, criticism, or comments are welcome and encouraged. thank you for reading this long, May the Force be with you.

Sent from my LM-Q720 using Tapatalk


Force Sensitive

Force Alignment: 1
Posts: 7


« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2020, 06:43:37 PM »

They do not believe in using the Dark Side for greed, power-lust, or the harming of innocent people, instead in service of self-determination and for the good of all sentient beings. Dissident Sith do not outright reject Jedi and Light Side thought or teachings, and choose to direct negative emotions and thoughts towards those that perpetuate oppression, subjugation, and injustice. Dissident Sith are more closely aligned with Gray Jedi than orthodox Sith. They are considered traitors by Orthodox Sith, and are kill-on-sight targets to them, Separatists, and any affiliated organization

Knight Commander

Force Alignment: 306
Posts: 1659

« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2020, 12:43:47 PM »

Interesting start, hot deaert training interrupted. The idea of these dissident Sith is fascinating using the dark for good - wow that has a lot of narrative potential and no doubt a fascinating back story as to how their order was founded. They do sound very much like the dark version of gray jedi...the dark gray!

As for the writing was solid for a sharp prologue - a bit dot point like, that can be good to quickly move action when you need a fast pace.

Anyway if your into fan fiction and Gray jedi check out this story by fellow authors on here about two young gray jedi about Kai Kotels age (early 20s).


Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?"
Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."

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