Is that an absolute? I'd thought it was necessary to do so (pulling back to reduce the tension and allow them to pair) at first, but through practicing I realized I could simply press them both together with adequate (but seemingly minimal) force and they'd recouple. I'd figured all of the QR couplers worked in this fashion, but if mine is unique I'm glad for it. It's much easier and smoother to simply "force" them together without having to adjust the female side one handed anyway.
Also I don't know if it's relevant that this QR coupler was obtained within the last year. Just incase they have been changed over time at all, since the initial release/availability.
At first I thought it had to be "engaged" to push together, but that is not the case, at least with mine. It does need to be engaged to be separated, but a little bit of force without engaging the coupler will join them together, so long as they're lined up well with each other. The little nubs in the female end should be able to be pushed down by the male end going into it, without pulling on the coupler, but it will need to be pulled to separate coming out, if that makes any sense.
What I have noticed though, is that after a good bit of use, and a healthy amount of drops, and probably a bit of gunk and grime accumulation, the coupler got much harder to engage. It was harder to pull to "engage" it, and sometimes the little nubs that retract when being engaged didn't want to retract properly. They became nearly impossible to rejoin without engaging the coupler, and the coupler itself was still difficult to engage.
I ended up taking the coupler off the saber and using some lubricant, I forget what type, and it fixed the issue right up. Super easy to engage the coupler, and super smooth to join the sabers together without engaging the coupler. It did seem to make that grime on the coupler "loser" and more susceptible to rubbing off on things, so probably best to clean the coupler after that, especially the male end it seems.
But that may not even be the issue OP is describing, of course.