Venting.

[Noctis]

crude humour like the sausage party trailer? or crude humour as in the queef joke in Ghostbusters?

I don't know what this person considers to be "crude humor," but I'm all about jokes concerning bodily functions or body parts.  I think fart jokes are particularly hilarious because I am 5.

[Darth Knox]

I don't know what this person considers to be "crude humor," but I'm all about jokes concerning bodily functions or body parts.  I think fart jokes are particularly hilarious because I am 5.

fart jokes are always hilarious. i just rewatched Liar Liar and still crack up when he comes out of the elevator and confesses to the fart. and let's not forget the grand-daddy of all fart jokes in movies, Blazing Saddles campfire scene.

we are so alike, in so many ways.

[Noctis]

South Park has an episode about farts/queefs that I find particularly hilarious.  My whole family is like this, honestly.  It's probably why I don't find bodily functions shameful at all and have no problem laughing when they surface at "inappropriate" times.  I mean, if you're gonna rip a fart, at least own it and make it a good one. 

[Landen Se-Sentien]

South Park has an episode about farts/queefs that I find particularly hilarious.  My whole family is like this, honestly.  It's probably why I don't find bodily functions shameful at all and have no problem laughing when they surface at "inappropriate" times.  I mean, if you're gonna rip a fart, at least own it and make it a good one. 

Leslie Nielsen was a master of the handheld farther machine and would carry and use it everywhere he went, and few people knew he had it. When asked once what he'd like on his tombstone, he replied, "RIP, let 'er *fart noise* rip."

[Darth Knox]

South Park has an episode about farts/queefs that I find particularly hilarious.  My whole family is like this, honestly.  It's probably why I don't find bodily functions shameful at all and have no problem laughing when they surface at "inappropriate" times.  I mean, if you're gonna rip a fart, at least own it and make it a good one. 

i LOVE that episode. especially the mad mav thunderdome example! even thinking about it now is making me laugh. i generally love that show anyway, but that episode is a particular highlight

[Darth Tepes]

Crude humor has it's place and can be hilarious...but I find too many contemporary comedies overuse it.

[Duff Man]

Jokes about farts are funny and Farts are one of the bodies way of venting gases.........so they belong in the venting thread.   
I now return you to your previously scheduled thread.

[Majobu5]

I once was told by a very attractive woman that ladies don't fart, they whisper in their panties.

But, now I know, when those panties are around the ankles, it's all fair game!

And, that very attractive woman, well, I put a ring on it.

[Lord Sidious]

I need to vent about inconsiderate cyclists who ride so dangerously fast and they have the audacity to yell out at walking pedestrian and sometimes even at cars, to get out of their way. They are obviously endangering others, let alone themselves.

[Duff Man]

I need to vent about inconsiderate cyclists who ride so dangerously fast and they have the audacity to yell out at walking pedestrian and sometimes even at cars, to get out of their way. They are obviously endangering others, let alone themselves.

Yeah....they have to obey the same laws everyone else does( I ride too). But good luck if you are talking about bike messages in a major city....Those guys are insane!!!!

[Noctis]

This lady came into the music store today and thought it was okay to let her two super wild kids play on our 2K drum kit.   I chased them off the stage and they went to the back of the store and were pulling the professional flutes off the shelves and trying to pry open the boxes!  The lady kept saying to me, "Sorry they're like this!"

Oh, you're "sorry" your kids might be ruining extremely expensive instruments?  Yeah, you're gonna be really sorry when you owe us 10K in damages.  Thankfully, my boss is super cool and he basically told her if her kids couldn't behave, they'd have to wait outside.  

The mom kept saying to them, "I'm going to lose my temper!"

Lady, please.    

[Darth Knox]

This lady came into the music store today and thought it was okay to let her two super wild kids play on our 2K drum kit.   I chased them off the stage and they went to the back of the store and were pulling the professional flutes off the shelves and trying to pry open the boxes!  The lady kept saying to me, "Sorry they're like this!"

Oh, you're "sorry" your kids might be ruining extremely expensive instruments?  Yeah, you're gonna be really sorry when you owe us 10K in damages.  Thankfully, my boss is super cool and he basically told her if her kids couldn't behave, they'd have to wait outside.  

The mom kept saying to them, "I'm going to lose my temper!"

Lady, please.    

if she's so sorry then why not do something about it? like discipline them. grrr
big hug for you noctis (just cos)

[Duff Man]

This lady came into the music store today and thought it was okay to let her two super wild kids play on our 2K drum kit.   I chased them off the stage and they went to the back of the store and were pulling the professional flutes off the shelves and trying to pry open the boxes!  The lady kept saying to me, "Sorry they're like this!"

Oh, you're "sorry" your kids might be ruining extremely expensive instruments?  Yeah, you're gonna be really sorry when you owe us 10K in damages.  Thankfully, my boss is super cool and he basically told her if her kids couldn't behave, they'd have to wait outside.  

The mom kept saying to them, "I'm going to lose my temper!"

Lady, please.    

"That's it you're in timeout!!......but yes you still get ice cream". LOL

[Darth Justicar]

This lady came into the music store today and thought it was okay to let her two super wild kids play on our 2K drum kit.   I chased them off the stage and they went to the back of the store and were pulling the professional flutes off the shelves and trying to pry open the boxes!  The lady kept saying to me, "Sorry they're like this!"

Oh, you're "sorry" your kids might be ruining extremely expensive instruments?  Yeah, you're gonna be really sorry when you owe us 10K in damages.  Thankfully, my boss is super cool and he basically told her if her kids couldn't behave, they'd have to wait outside.  

The mom kept saying to them, "I'm going to lose my temper!"

Lady, please.    

You are so fortunate to have a boss that was actually willing to deal with that!  A lot of chains are so terrified of a lawsuit that they won't handle BS like that with the appropriate strictness.

Those people's unwillingness to parent should NOT be the rest of society's problem.  I mean, we wonder why the Millennials are so screwed up.  Their kids are certainly not going to be any better if this is the "in" style of child-rearing...

[Jev Moldara]

When I worked at a convenience store 15 years ago (wow, has it really been that long?), we had this lady who would come in with her two kids, buy them each a 1 liter soda and a couple of candy bars, and proceed to hang out there for anywhere between half an hour to two hours with her sugared-up little heathens while she scratched lottery tickets.

Well, as you can imaging, hyperactive kids with sugar in them are bad enough, but it's even worse when Mommy doesn't even acknowledge they are there, let alone try to parent them. They were climbing on things, running past customers as only kids can do, and playing chase (CHASE!!!) in my store. Customers were complaining and since mama was ignoring it in the feeble hope of winning something in scratchoffs, I was trying to run interference and keep them in line. When they knocked over a display, I'd had enough. I reached my hand over the counter to where a deliberately oblivious Mama was quietly, contentedly scratching away, placed my admittedly large hand over her scratchoffs to get her attention, and very politely said:

"Ma'am, your children are running amok and have knocked over a display. Can I ask you to please calm them down so they don't hurt themselves or others or damage anything else?"

Her response sits with me to this very day... a testament to the power of human idiocy.

"Can't you see I'm busy? This is your store. YOU do something about it!"

She then slapped my hand away and went back to scratching.

Me: "Okay, I guess it's time for Mister Nice Guy to go away and Mister Asshole to come out to play."

Her: "If you lay a hand on my kids-"

Me (interrupting loudly in my military command voice): "GET YOUR KIDS AND GET THE HELL OUT! DO NOT COME BACK UNLESS YOU CAN PARENT THEM OR YOU CAN FIND A BABYSITTER!"

Her (wide eyed in shock): "You can't talk to me like-"

Me (interrupting even louder): "WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?! ARE YOU COMPLETELY HARD OF HEARING OR ARE YOU JUST WILLINGLY STUPID? LET ME REITERATE THIS FOR YOU. GATHER YOUR CROTCH SPAWN AND START POUNDING PAVEMENT!!!"

She left with the kids and I got some thanks and applause from the other customers.

I also got in trouble with the manager, but I didn't care. Neither did the manager, really, but her hands were tied as the woman had called and complained about my behavior on the tip line. After reviewing the tapes to see exactly what happened, I was only in trouble because I had to be for appearances sake.