Saber Forum

It's been some time since I've shared writing publicly, and as such I apologize for it's rusty feel.  I do hope you all enjoy though.  It has been an inspiration to read what has come before me here.

*************************************************************************************************

He watched her sitting in the very farthest corner of her bunk, her position closed off, knees drawn, arms holding them as she appeared to try and shrink into the walls.  She was afraid, the cold, wet feeling flowing in tidal waves from the poor girl, newly arrived.  It was not a new scene, nor uncommon in the least.

Still, the only one in the room who showed any sympathy, or felt it, as the Force revealed, was a brooding, broad chested boy, watching in silence.  The others laughed, and made sniggering comments, seeking, in the manner of children, to prop up their own egos in putting down another.  Then two of them, some of the oldest still in the common bunk, after whispering together, rose as one and moved towards the terrified brunette.  With a sigh, he started to silently rise from his own bunk, slipping with ease between the threads of notice from all others in the room.

"Oh look, another baby to cry and keep us up at night, do you miss your mommy?" the girl, Ch'rianna, a Togruta hissed in mocking tones.

Laughing, the boy with her, Tucree, barely her junior and always her lackey, reached his hand out, his intent to take the small blanket she had brought in with her away broadcast in the force like a shout in the night, only to halt suddenly with a squeak of surprise as I gripped his wrist and twisted, rising unseen beside him.

Tucree rose to the tips of his toes as the hold twisted his entire arm to discomfort, in a vain attempt to relieve the pressure mounting in his shoulder, and easily had him dancing back.  Leveling a serious gaze upon Ch'rianna, who narrowed her eyes in return, her lips pursing in clear anger.

"Stay out of this, Var'jo, this is no concern of yours." she all but spat at the red haired boy before her, her anger at his interruption of her bullying pulsing from her in waves of heat, the room going silent, the rest of the younglings overwhelmed by her ire, and the Force it flowed upon.

In defiance, Var'jo put himself between her and the new girl, who starting to cry behind him, and while emotion charged his purpose, he refused to fall to the anger the bully poured at him.

"Leave her be, bully, you cried for a week when they brought you in, Ch'rianna."  His words hard, challenging, and yet he couldn't resist emphasizing her name in such a way to make it sound more like "Cry-anna". Simultaneously, he released her conspirator with what he could muster of a Force push, sending him sprawling towards his bunk, whimpering like a kicked dog.

Ch'rianna stood facing him, her black eyes boring her seething anger into his blue ones, and yet he stood ground.  His will, rooted in the foundations of the planet, far below, and flared his presence out in the force, channeling namesake, the Shadow Bear.  He was, as well, older than she, if not by much, soon to be moved from the communal bunk, taller by several centimeters, and had a dozen kilograms on her.  He seemed, in that moment, to dwarf her entirely, an indomitable force facing her down.

After several tense moments, she cast her eyes down, with a scowling growl, and stormed back to her bunk, the rest of the room barely suppressing giggles and gasps.  With a deep, calming breath, he turned to the new girl, smiling warmly, emanating calm, voice soft and welcoming, "Welcome, I am Var'jo Karhu.  What's your name?"

She looked up, tear filled eyes quivering pools of honey brown, and with a sniffle, and then wiping her nose on her sleeve, a soft voice replied meekly, "La'ulu."

His head tilted, and smile broadened.  Song.  She was from his people, and her name meant song.

Ooh, great beginning. You really captured well the feeling of the bully, and the one standing up for what is right. Well done. I am already interested to see what you have in store for us. Who these Var'jo and La'ulu are, and where they come from.

Great start, i loved the opening sentences, very evocative feeling of her fear and well done with the kind of 'social hierarchy' amongst the children(?), the leader, their lap dog and the strong outsider.  But so much to learn...what are they there for...where are they from.  The Names in particular, Song and Shadow Bear, there is a new culture to learn about here I think! 

Thank you.  It feels good to delve into new characters.  As for those questions, they are their own persons, and they come from their mothers. ;)


Again, thank you.  It seems that children, bullying, and hierarchy are timeless, as are those who stand apart, yet against.  As for the culture, that could be the most enjoyable part, though I will admit to borrowing, at least linguistically, from another, existing culture...

Once again I feel as if SW has a wonderful inoculation of "high-brow" poetry (which I mean as the sincerest form of compliment  :))!  Your prose is SO much more than expository, indeed you've produced a narrative of feelings.  Fantastic!  What new culture are we being introduced to?  And clearly children the galaxy throughout (even one a long time ago, far, far away) can be wantonly cruel...

And I finally figured out why I thought your syntax was vaguely familiar: it reminds me of Robert Browning's "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came." 

I can't wait for more Illyiss!

I do take that as a high compliment!  Thank you.  And yes, feelings are important in narrative, in my opinion.  As for what new culture, stick around, see what comes up. ;)

Do you mean the syntax here specifically, or in general?  If here, I think it comes from the perspective or voice, third party and viewed, yet with insight seeming to primarily be from the perspective of one character within the narrative...

My pleasure!  And you already have me hooked as an avid reader  :)

Here specifically^^  Most awesome  ;)

And so we glimpse a bit more...

***********************************************************************************************


The class of initiates sat in orderly rows, in the classic lotus position, a pile of stones in front of each.  Deep in meditation, each tasked to raise the stones to float in the air, and form patterns and dances, designed to build and strengthen their skill, control, and concentration.  Ranging as they did from eight to ten years in age, each was capable, if some still worked towards mastering the skills and control needed for this exercise, and the class was scarcely overseen.

At this very moment, the Jedi Master in charge of them was out of the chamber, seeing to the needs of his aging bladder in the nearby refresher, so there were no adults to witness what happened next.  La'ulu's stones began spinning in unexpected paths about her head, in spite of her guidance, some darting to strike her from behind, nor to witness the grinning face of Ch'rianna, enjoying her mean spirited prank.

As La'ulu struggled to regain control of her stones, and hold her emotions in check, the stones hit her more and more often, and the girl could not stop the few tears from escaping her eyes, while Ch'rianna and Tucree giggled at her misfortune, even as they colluded to cause it.

Var'jo, on the other hand, was present, his own stones dancing in the complex patterns of an advanced student, until, with a deep breath and heavy sigh, his pile reformed in front of him.  The peace of his own meditation was shattered by the sadness and frustration flowing again from the girl he had come to see as his sister, combined with the ever darkening cruelty and malice from Ch'rianna and her ever present lackey, Tucree.

Without warning, both Ch'rianna and Tucree rose from their seated position on the hard stone, to spinning about one another a half dozen meters in the air, as the stones assigned to them began flowing along various orbits about them, plunking the backs of their heads, as they had been doing to La'ula.

Overcome by the surprise of it, combined with helplessness to stop Var'jo's retribution, Tucree cried out, the fear in his voice ringing through the stone room.  Ch'rianna, meanwhile, hissed her frustration, struggling to reach out and undo the threads of Force holding her bound. 

"Let me down, Var'jo, this instant!" she spat through clenched teeth, no regard given to her equally treated crony, and her sharp undertone of anger disturbed the calm of several other students.

"When you learn, Ch'rianna, to stop bullying my sister."  His words echoed with Force, and while calmly said, the force of intent echoed heavily through the chamber.

"What is this insubordination?"  The calm but commanding voice of Master Vaerk filled the chamber, his re-appearance sudden, like a strike of lightning, and the accompanying thunder.

While the rest of the students hastily re-stacked their stones, Var'jo dropped the two bullies, unceremoniously, and certainly not gently, their stones following them down, to pile neatly atop them, insult lent to injured pride.  Meanwhile, La'ulu sat hugging her knees, her stones spread about her, as she tried, once again, to calm her tears.

With a heavy sigh, Master Vaerk stepped to the fallen pair, subjected to the further humiliation of stones scattering as they rose while rubbing bruised bottoms.  Looming over them, he reached out with the Force, making certain they were not harmed, a frown forming on his lined, ancient face.

"In over one hundred years," his voice boomed as it buffeted all within the room, "I have never been subjected to so much willful disobedience, and flagrant disregard displayed from initiates to other initiates!  You will ALL learn compassion and peace, or I will see those who cannot assigned forever to the sanitary corps!  Ch'rianna, Tucree, Var'jo, I will see the three of you after class, and you will be polishing ALL of the stones.  By hand."

Ch'rianna was unable to keep from shooting Var'jo a scowling sneer, and despite her efforts, it did not go unseen by the resident master, though he chose not to speak on it presently, instead making a note to speak with Master Yoda about his concerns for initiate Ch'rianna, and the influence she had on Tucree.


************************************************************

Later that night, after polishing what felt like a thousand stones, Var'jo walked back to his dorm, a small smile on his lips.  He would gladly polish stones daily in payment for bringing that cretin Ch'rianna and her pet, Tucree to task for their cruelty.  Especially when they aimed it at La'ulu, which they too often did.

He truly had come to think of the girl as his little sister, and he looked out for her as such.  She was the only other Suomi he had met or heard of since being brought to the Temple from Suomal when he was but a small child himself.  Over and over had he been scolded by the Master Jedi, that connections were forbidden, but it felt right to him, and the girl had bore the brunt of that narttu* Ch'rianna's bullying since she arrived, now four years past.  He cared for her, like family, and looked out for her as such, like he would have done if he hadn't been chosen to leave his own family. 

That too had been chided, that he acted from emotion too often.  While he admitted that his motivations often were inspired from his feelings, he always thought before he acted, and only fueled his choices with the emotion that bore it.  Never anger or fear either.  Well, other than that time La'ulu had startled him, slipping into his bunk after a bad dream, when they were both still in the common bunk.  She had startled him awake, and he had barely caught her before she landed across the room.

He chuckled to himself at the memory, closed the door behind him, and used the Force to flip on the lights, then froze, startled again.  This time it was Master Br'din, sitting in the room's only chair, at his small desk, bright green eyes boring into him.

Remembering himself, he stammered out a greeting, "M-Master Br'din, you startled me, I did not sense you, nor expect you."

The tan skinned Lorrdian master nodded, and gestured to the bed, indicating Var'jo should sit.  "You know what I have to say, yet again, don't you, boy?"  His voice gentle, resigned, and reminiscent of a parent giving a lecture recurring so often as to seem practiced.

With a sigh, Var'jo took a seat, blue eyes meeting the Master's gaze, "Master, she's like my sister, a feeling born of compassion.  How can feeling protective and familiar to my fellow initiates, and eventually Jedi, be wrong or dark?  Further, someone has to put a stop to Ch'rianna, she grows more and more cruel every day.  How is SHE not seen as dark?"

Head tilting, and eyebrows raising in familiar gestures, master Br'din took stock of the boy.  His frame was large for his age, and his head bore close cropped hair the color of copper filtering starlight, with eyes full of intelligence and compassion. Thinking, he chose his words carefully, for this was a debate they had shared many times over.

"Compassion and care for your fellows is fine, but the bonds of sibling run too deep to be anything but contrary to the code.  It should be an equal care for all your brethren.  As for Ch'rianna," he continued with a sigh. "you should allow the teachers to deal with her, and her shadow.  It is NOT your place to discipline.  Now, my old bones are tired, and you have lightsaber training early."  This final line bore the weight of finality, he would brook no more debate this night.

Var'jo sighed, resigned to his place, feeling now the ache of a long day seeping into his body.  He rose in deference to the Master as he left, and set to changing for rest.

With that, the old Master rose, returning to his own chambers, his mind troubled that the boy may be right.  Ch'rianna did seem to harbor a growing darkness within her, one he may need to discuss with his peers...

****
*Narttu; a derogatory term of the Suomi, similar to useless cur, or worthless hound.

Fantastic addition to your narrative!  The more I learn about Var'jo, Lu'ala, (and Ch'rianna, that narttu) the more invested I am.  LSG said it before: highly evocative writing!

Var'jo hits upon a point that I feel is one of the main faults of the Jedi Order: so-called lack of attachments.  In fact, that's one of the reasons that I think the Gray Jedi have the right of it: almost all sentients have emotions and to deny them is a  fallacy.  Var'jo may be young but he seems to see with clarity.


Ch'rianna may want to remember that a cornered animal will fight that much harder.

And in this particular instance, said animal is a Force-user...

Illyiss!   This is delightful!  :-)  I can't really add anything to what my fellows have said, but I will say this: Your writing draws the reader in very quickly.  This is no small feat!  Only two episodes in and I am highly invested in Var'jo and Lu'ala.  I am also intrigued by your view of how the Jedi handled the padawan training of younglings.  This is the second narrative that has shown this to be ... less than ideal.  Even akin more to what you would expect to find in a Dickens orphanage than how the 'enlightened' Jedi would handle such a thing.   Unless one considers the code.  If anything seems clear from what we've been shown by canon, the Jedi make TERRIBLE parents.  :-)

I am looking forward to more!  And that lyrical style is just intoxicating!  :-)

Thank you, very much.  I'm not sure why, but I felt a lot of apprehension at releasing this chapter, feeling it was a bit... lacking someplace.  Yes, the emphasis on disallowing both attachments and emotions are two points I have always questioned the Jedi Order on.  The vast majority of sentient beings, and their cultures, form and function around familial attachments.  As well, emotions are a part of the process of motivation and determination; not to mention how often Jedi preach things like "show compassion" and "search your feelings." 

I see that someone has become used to having to look past the squeaky wheel. ;)


I thank you, good sir.  I have always felt that the better a story engages a ready, and the sooner, the more effective it is, and have worked to bring that to my writing.  As for the Jedi "academy", I agree.  All such "schools" that isolate the young, and train them to a set of specific "values" feels very indoctrinative to me, as much like a boot camp as anything.  In my mind, the view of orphanages offered by Dickens shows us how such institutions of the early industrialized age, were crude instruments bluntly churning out obedient, disciplined, soul crushed workers.  While the Jedi don't outwardly seem to want to crush souls, they DO expect adherence and dedication to their core philosophy; as well as the currently in fashion interpretation of it.

Besides, how can they be good parents, without emotion and attachment?

Once more into the tale we delve...

*************************************************************************

Running across the open expanse, saber deflecting shots from three hovering drones right back to them, she vaulted into a somersault, her lithe, muscled form extending and then contracting, perfectly timed around the lattice of beams projected to limit access to the next cover point.  Had she made even the most brushing contact, pain and unconsciousness would have been her rewards for failure, though she barely breathed a sigh of relief, as her attention quickly transitioned to her next challenge. 

Opening herself to the Force, feeling out the room in front of her, rather than poking her head around the corner (the mistake that failed the last four initiates this day), she isolated the position of both auto-turrets (thankfully set to stun), and the two initiates meant to challenge her passage.  They had the entry covered, though Soresu could get her in, as the initiates hung back, intent on letting the auto-turrets do the work, but the two of them had good position to act if those were defeated. 

Quickly, she ran through multiple scenarios in her head, all of them ended with her falling to a training saber, usually to the second opponent.  In spite of that she smiled, the grin casting a determined, almost frightening expression across her face. 

In the observation pod, Master Windu arched an eyebrow, concerned that the battle lust of her people might be starting to make a show.  As he was about to turn to the other Masters watching, La'ulu sprung to motion.

The leap up was easy, timed with pulling the grate from the vent using the Force, while kicking her boots free, she wriggled into the narrow shaft like a burrowing worm.  Reaching the other side, her battle grin still in place, she silently started a countdown.

3.

The boots, left behind levitated.

2.

The grate in front of her came just loose of it's mooring.

1.

With a thought, her boots shot into the room, and split directions, drawing fire from the simple circuits of the auto-turrets, and startling the waiting initiates, who turned to watch her get stunned over and over by the weapons.  She wasn't there, and confusion flooded the room from them both.

0.

Exploding out of the ventilation shaft, La'ulu roared aloud, the covering grate slamming into the far turret, spinning it to disable the near, continuing it's spraying arc to slam several shots of painful, stunning energy into Tucree, who let out a high pitched squeal as he fell. 

The other initiate had more time, and caught between a corner and an auto-turret pivoting wildly, the Togruta rolled under the spray, and swung the saber she held into a wild, frustrated arc, splitting the training turret in two.  Ch'rianna rose, saber at the ready, facing back towards the ventilation opening, expecting an attack from the runt presently.

"Perfect." La'ulu said to herself, as she twisted her body, while tucking end to front, like a swimmer turning at the end of a lane, and launched at the turned initiate.  Still caught in the action of the moment, adrenaline pumping, she pinned the Togruta's well timed, or so she thought, block behind her back, as the grinning human slid under the shocked initiate, between her legs, and scored searing, painful hits to both inner thighs, and then executed a devastating thrust up into the grimacing girl's abdomen, which would have ended her life, had they not been using training sabers.

Her shining brown eyes full of accomplishment and pride, she strode barefoot (she never could stand socks), over her fallen opponent, and through the exit door of the course.  She had done it, she would become Padawan, and be allowed to go to Illum and claim a crystal for her very own lightsaber!

*****************************************************

In the pod above, the gathered Jedi Masters were abuzz with excitement.  Her entry into the last room as new, and unexpected, and much enjoyed.  Even Master Yoda cracked a smile and nodded appreciatively, before turning to leave, his wooden cane clacking in time to his footfalls.

*****************************************************

Waiting behind the other initiates, minus the two sore and unhappy ones, just now waking in the last room of the test, Var'jo stood, face beaming with pride, but letting her celebrate with the others first, ever mindful not to SHOW how much he still considered her family.  He held no illusions that the Masters didn't know, but he found that as long as he didn't show it in front of the rest, they let it alone.  He watched her, the smile on her face and the sparkle in his eye set his chest to beaming, and he was relieved, as well.

Two years ago, after the rock incident, several Masters had pulled Ch'rianna and Tucree aside, and no one, not the pair, nor the Masters had ever spoken of what transpired.  All anyone knew was that when the pair was sent back to class, a week later, they acted differently.  No more bullying, though for a time, Ch'rianna could be observed visibly restraining herself, and Tucree seemed lost, forlorn.  In time, the two had set themselves to being exemplary students, and took to being little Jedi clones.  Many attributed their success to the personal tutelage of Master Dooku when he was in the Temple, though the pair worked hard as well.

Shaking his head, coming out of his thoughts, he watched La'ulu try her hardest to walk slowly to him, barefooted and looking down in a failed attempt to hide her sheepish grin.  With a sudden squeal, she exploded up into the air, and he easily caught her in a massive hug, spinning her around.

"You did it!" he exclaimed, his own excitement and pride flowing from him like a beacon in deep space. 

"So did you!  And I never would have without your help, veli*."  She arched her back, not pulling from his hug, but looking him in his blue eyes, her own, usually seen as brown, always seemed almost to match the color of his hair.  She really did feel she owed her success to him though.  He always looked out for her, and when that narttu and her mato* had finally stopped bullying her, it was Var'jo who helped her find herself, with his support, his tales of their people, and his tutelage when she struggled.

"Shhhhhhh!" he whispered through his smile. "The Masters DO know our language, remember?"  He winked at her, and set her down finally, walking with her towards the waiting meal, much needed after the very physical trial.  "Soon we will go find our crystals, and then make our OWN sabers!  I hope mine is yellow.  How about you, 'Ulu?"  He asked her, excitement bubbling over.

Her cheeks colored momentarily, the warm feeling of being loved as a sister, especially when he called her 'Ulu, as only he did, and she would only let him.  "BLUE!" her affirmation was sudden, and full of expected conviction.  She had spoken often of wanting to be a Jedi guardian, to protect people from bullies the galaxy over...

*************************************

Shaking his head, sore and disoriented, Tucree sighed, berating himself mentally, "I should have been able to dodge that.  I really am worthless, and all the Masters know it!" 

As his shame and self directed anger washed through him, and from him, he looked up, realizing that Ch'rianna had fared little better, it seemed.  Suppressing a smirk, he stumbled over to her, offering his hand to help her up, now that she was stirring as well.

Her vision clearing, head pounding, not to mention the painful near burns between her legs, and her stomach that felt like it had been rammed by a tram, she cursed inwardly, "That little cheat!"

Clearly this wasn't HER fault, HER plan had been flawless, but that runt had cheated, and Tucree had failed her, again.  Anger flared from her, and she could feel the ambient temperature of the room drop slightly.

Looking up, Tucree was extending his hand to her, and was that the start of a smirk on his worthless face?

Slapping his hand away, she hissed at him, "Get back you worthless oaf, before you mess up even more today!" 

He recoiled from her, hurt, which she had meant him to be, and she began to rise, the ache in her abdomen re-asserting itself, and as she rose further, her thighs burned and ached, though, awakening other, unexpected feelings nearby in her body.

Glad for her deep orange skin, to hide her blush, she rushed to the nearest refresher, overcome with the sudden sensations washing through her in response to the pain...

**********



*Veli; brother
Mato; worm

As Karm and Dutch pointed out for C 2 great expositon of Jedi training methods- that is likely why they only take very young children (infants if possible) less attachment to 'purge' them of.  They are basically fighting against the innate nature of virtually every species to form packs/groupings in doing so though...its bound failure yet they persist.

As for the third chapter good subtle point shining at the time frame - whilst Yoda has 900 year time frame to show up Windu and Dooku training padawans narrow the field to well before Clone wars. Well placed time skip and seeing how the bond between siblings' remains if only clandestinely.

As to Ch'rianna...perhaps there is a fine, fine line between pleasure and pain...

Thank you, as well.  As for time frame, I suppose that depends on how you define well before; as I recall, Dooku didn't leave the Order until after the death of Qui-Gon...

And yes, there is a fine, fine line there, and I wonder, how would the Jedi see that...

Wonderful training scene!  Looks like our two Soumi teens are progressing well, using more than just brute force.

As LSG mentioned, the inclusion of Masters Windy and Dooku give us a better handle of the timeline.  VERY interested in seeing where this is leading...

And looks like Ch'rianna displays a bit a sadomasochist tendency  ;)

Next installment please!   ;D

Thank you, most kindly.  Yes, the Soumi are more than just strong, but then, what would the Jedi want with strength alone? ;)

It does look that way, doesn't it?  Seems to surprise her, as well...

Is that hunger I feel, calling from your center?   We shall see how soon it pulls from my head and onto page...

Another ripple...

********************************************************************

He found himself marveling at all about him, his mind imagining the centuries of history that these solid rock walls had seen.  Ahead of him, Master Br'din smiled, he could feel the awe and excitement of the young man behind him.  The initiates, soon to be Padawan after their upcoming journey to Illum, had been given a few days to themselves, mostly.  They were still required to meditate five times each day, but could pursue, within limits, their own interests within the Temple.  He had all but begged Master Br'din to show him the ancient shrines below the Temple proper.

Eventually, the aging Master had relented, offering to show the lad a few of the chambers, those the Council had long deemed safe.  Still, Var'jo had practically exploded with excitement, and still he exuded his enthusiasm as they walked paths long known to the Order, and the stones all but hummed with the Force.  The old Master almost wondered if they were reacting to being seen as so important, yet again, to new eyes.  He smiled, continuing along, light held before him, as they made for the chamber he intended.

As he stepped into the chamber which Master Br'din had led him to, his blue eyes went wide, a gasp of surprise and awe escaping him, as he slowly took it all in from the arched doorway.  While deep below ground, and with only the two personal lights, the whole room seemed to light up, the stone cut and polished in such a way as to fill the cavernous space with any present light, and he could only imagine what it would look like lit up by a multitude of lightsabers.  Pillars, at the edges of the room vaulted up to support the ceiling, even that had been carved and polished, adding to the impressive feat of creation by Jedi hundreds of years gone.

His mind raced, wondering the stories of those who had once tread here in purpose, gathering to join in council, or announcement.  Vaunted stories of great Jedi, long dead, sped through his mind, and he wondered if he was the first of his people to set foot here.  In time, he made way to the pedestal, set centered at the far end of the chamber, the old Master shadowing near to him, borrowing in the vigor of the youth exploring this hallowed place.  As he reached out, and caressed, with utmost reverence, the long bare stone, he froze, his senses startled as something happened he did not expect.  Silently, a section of the stone slid open to reveal a small chamber, from which a single crystal, clear, but appearing to burn with a fire within, rose, slowly spinning in the air above the pulpit.

Br'din's eyes shot wide, as he stepped quickly to the boy's side, acting in spite of his surprise, ready to defend the boy, yet equally curious.  There had never been known a secret compartment in the ancient pedestal, not even clues in writting.  As the crystal rose from it's hidden place, his expression fell to wonder, and turned to Var'jo, who stood en-rapt, eyes held to the marvelous gem.  When they came, his words were quiet, almost whispered, as one would in disbelief and solemnity, "Take it, Var'jo, I believe it is meant for you, though I know not why, nor how I know."

Startled from the mesmerizing call of the crystal, for what could he say but that it had both mesmerized and called to him, by the words of the wise Master at his side, he broke his gaze aside to look at the man, startled in the moment, as the words echoed through his head, his own disbelief and confusion giving way to purposed action. 

"As you say, Master." his words, while brief, rang with more certainty than Br'din had heard yet from the youth, as did the manner in which Var'jo extended his arm, hand cupped, as he called to the crystal through the Force, and again the Master stood in surprise, as the two, boy and crystal, seemed to call out, in the Force, to one another.  In response, the crystal heeded the call, snapping swiftly to Var'jo's hand.

************************************************************

It had felt RIGHT to him, the crystal in his hand.  The call of it was like the warm arms of his mother, a feeling he hadn't recalled in some time before that very moment, as well as the ferocity of the Ursine for which he had been named.  The whole of the way back to his dorm, he had held it, barely opening his fingers, yet doing so often, to peer in at it, the light refracting within it, lighting it's core like the hottest furnace fire, and it filled him with a deep sense of warming, as well as resolve.  He feared, at moments, that the Masters would not let him keep it, yet every time he looked at it, or reached out to touch it with the Force, he knew, or did it tell him, that even the Council would not keep them apart.

Sooner than he realized, they were back in his room, and Master Br'din asked to see the stone once again, promising he would give it back.  Confidently the boy, though he even now looked less a boy than he had earlier, held out the stone to him, palm open, and floated it effortlessly to the man's waiting hands.  Turning it over and around, holding it to the light, and in shadow, and gently touching it with the Force, Br'din examined the stone for several long minutes, before offering it back to Var'jo, who opened his hand, and recalled the crystal to his own hand.

"They'll let me keep it, won't they, Master?"  His voice was curious, but strong, certainty flowing from him, even more than it ever had before.  These were curious events indeed.

"I will counsel that you be allowed to keep it, more so, I am not certain that IT would be parted long from you."  Master Br'din's words hung reassuringly in the air, and Var'jo knew that he meant them. 

"Now, get yourself to a meditation room, I believe you are behind a session on the day, and keep the events of this day to yourself for now, until I can confer with my peers on this matter."  As he spoke, the Master yet rose, already heading out the door, his own head still spinning at the events he had seen.  The crystal, if nothing else was not dark, he felt that, and it seemed...  paired to Var'jo in the force, but he did not understand that connection yet either.  As well, it had a feeling of strength, a deep connection to the living force, unlike any such crystal he had encountered before.

In his wake, Var'jo nodded, and reverently placed his prize in a pouch securely at his belt, and strode confidently to one of the more private meditation rooms, and those that saw his passing could not help but note that he moved with an increased surety of purpose...

I like your rendition of the Ilum cave under the temple.  Seems that Var'jo may himself be something unique beyond his ancestry, perhaps a localized Vergence in the Force?  Clearly (and quite literally) the crystal is drawn to him for a specific reason...

To paraphrase Karm: 'tis a mystery to be solved in good time  ;)

OOC: are the Soumi an offshoot of humanity? Near-humans? Or something else entirely?

Or...is that part of the narrative that I have to be patient with?  ;)

Well done Illyiss!  Looking forward to the next chapter!

The Soumi are human, and so simply a cultural/ethnic derivation.  I like the idea of interjecting different cultural types into the SW universe, I mean, there is a whole GALAXY of peoples and planets, after all. 

I will reveal, on the subject of the crystal, it is not illum, though it is a "known" saber crystal type, and yes, there is some larger force at work here. ;)

Ancient crystal no one knows about chooses to reveal itself to talented Padawan with emotional attachments and cultural distinctions he keeps hidden and results in an immediate boost to both of them...what could possibly go wrong!
Also like the enforced five times a day mediation...pretty brutal to be honest...the rigidity of that will no doubt peeve a lot of padawans....

Nope, nothing to go awry in any of that! ;)

I pulled the meditation requirement straight from the Jedi Path, page 12.  "In addition, students must engage in five mandatory meditation sessions each day."  Penned by Grand Master Fae Coven.

I do believe though, that it is a requirement for initiates (Younglings), Padawans would be under the requirements of their Jedi Knight or Master.

Nicely written, Illyiss!  We don't see the crystal cave under the Temple often enough.  Maker knows theres a TON of hidden passaged, caves, odd places where ancient crystals live...  ;-)

Seriously, though, I am greatly enjoying your writing and the peek we're getting into the early training of the padawans.  Indeed, the meditation requirements seem brutal, but they're literally weeding out candidates and also working to reinforce these youngling's connection to the Light side of the force from an early age.  5 meditation periods a day sounds really steep, but if they're only about 15-20 minutes long?  Hmm...

And the crystal.  Wow.  What is it with these crystals?!?!?!  LOL   This reminds me a bit of how Karmack 'met' The Ancient One on M'Tzigon.  Not quite as dramatic, but it would have caused a similar stir among the Masters of the time. 

Paving the way for more adventure!  Greatly looking forward to the future installments!  And, as LSG said, what could possibly go wrong?  :-)

Agreed, the meditation periods seem less brutal if you consider they may not have needed to be long, and one would think even ancient Masters would not want to try and ride herd of a group of 4 year old younglings, trying to get them to meditate for more than a few minutes at a time.  As well, five times, upon waking, mid morning, mid day, mid afternoon, and before bed, isn't really all that difficult, especially, if as you said, it's to reinforce connection to the Force, train self control and reflection, and teaching them the habit of re-centering between activities.

I am enjoying this foray into providing some windows of the development of early minds, though I admit, I don't know how much time I will spend with them during the Padawan phase.  I suppose the story will lead me where it will. ;)

And so, now, something more...

Chapter 5

**********************************************************************************************

Twelve excited figures, seated in a semi-circle around Master Deelin, who was explaining to the hopeful Padawans before him, exactly how the choosing would go, his breaths forming puffs in the air, as the heated moisture from his lungs condensed in the freezing cold air of the empty Temple on Illum.  Before him, as they drank in every word, most of the students were shivering slightly, rubbing arms or legs now and then to stay warm.  Most of them, but not two.  The two Suomi humans, both from a world with long, icy winter seasons, and short, barely temperate summers, while bundled well against the cold, were genetically more conditioned to the low temperatures, and sat still, in a semi-meditative state as they listened carefully to the Master's words.

They would be let into the crystal caves at dawn, when the rising light would melt the ice covering the entrance, and would have one planetary rotation, sixty six standard hours, to find their crystal, and make it back out before the ice flow reformed, blocking the cave's entrance.  Little was told to the initiates, only that they would know their crystal when they discovered it, that it would call to them, but not a clue how to find it, or what manner this calling would take.  Var'jo, alone among them thought he had an idea of what such a call might feel like, as he felt the warm, slow pulse of the Corusca gem, as it had been identified as by one of the Masters specializing in geology.  Suppressing a grin, as the crystal with him allowed him to feel more confident, perhaps it even resonated in such a way as to increase such a sense within him.  All any of the Masters had discovered for certain was that the gem seemed to pulse in the force, and when within proximity for Var'jo, such emanations synchronized with his own natural rhythms.

As one, the class of eager young seekers gasped in awe as the morning light hit the wall of ice before them, refracting from both it, and the crystalline structures within the rock behind and showering the large chamber in interlacing prisms of rainbow effect, before the glowing star rose higher in the sky, the angle gone, and the ice sheet melting away, in a rush that seemed a little too fast, not that any of the already running students noticed.

**********************************************************************************************************************

Var'jo and La'ulu teamed up, to no one's great surprise, the pair trotting off silently into the depth of the maze-like caves, the larger, older boy following the lead of confident female, trailing some sensation he couldn't sense with the certainty of a bounty hunter chasing a tracking beacon.  Without word between them, La'ulu made last second turns, her speed ever increasing as her urgency, her boundless enthusiasm spurred her onward toward what just HAD to be her crystal. 

Behind her, the Var'jo followed her as he would his own shadow with the light behind him, her signature in the Force nearly as familiar to him as his own, all the while his senses extended, open to any indication of a call from his eventual lightsaber crystal.  He was starting to think the caves were playing tricks on him, as it seemed that the call to him surrounded him, and so he decided he would follow and support his little sister, interpreting the Force as wanting him on that path.

And so it was that he very nearly plowed into her back, rounding a tight left handed turn in the narrow cave, finding her dead stopped before a large cavern, crystals glittering and glinting all about in the light of their glow rods.  He could feel the disbelief and fear coiling about her, her eyes wide, staring at something, but nothing he could see.  Pulling his will about him like armor, he shifted to a defensive stance, ready to fight to the death for her, and his strong voice, already deepening with puberty, called to her.

"'Ulu, what is it, what do you see?"  and while confident, concern tinged the edges of his words.

There, looming before her, Ch'rianna and Tucree, but, fully grown, blazing red bladed sabers in their hands, deep thrumming static filling her ears from them, and they were laughing at her, sneering. 

"What's the matter, little baby, can't find your toy?"  the adult Ch'rianna mocked her, while her companion pointed and laughed.

The fear, which she hadn't felt from them in years now washed through her like ice, her skin seeming to tighten, her mouth suddenly dry and her head swam.  But... this wasn't right... they weren't grown yet...  Was... was this a vision from the Force?   Of the future?  Or was it just part of her trial?

She saw it glowing behind them, pulsing, first a light, white glow, and slowly deepening through shades of blue until it was a strong, deep blue, the color of the sky just before it went gray in a storm.  She could FEEL it calling to her, pleading for rescue, as though the two who had made her childhood so painful, and now seemed fully grown Sith had taken it hostage.

Var'jo felt the change in her, the determination swirling into her as through a whirlwind formed about her, and her stance shifted slowly, deliberately, face twisting into a mask of will and focus.  He wasn't sure at all what she was experiencing, but somehow he knew it was her task to complete, and so remained at the ready, but steeled himself to allow her to accomplish it.

She gripped the blade in her hands (though it was really just her glow rod, in her mind's eye, it was a saber), and shifted into an offensive stance, resolve filling her mind, and flooding her essence.  Like a wildcat, she sprang, blade arcing through the air, blocking the strong blow from Ch'rianna, sliding before the dark bully could lock her, ducking under, and side stepping just in time to parry a viscous strike from Tucree, his dark rimmed, red glowing eyes tracking her movements in anger, hate.

Before she could riposte to the annoying lapdog, she was forced to dance a circle back and to her right as Ch'rianna hammered blindingly fast strikes down at her from her taller vantage.  Just when La'ulu thought she couldn't hold this defense much longer, the realization blazed in her mind.  She was much shorter, and Ch'rianna was hammering her strikes from above. 

With a sudden grin, the smaller girl let fall her block, and ducked forward, shoved the approaching Tucree away with a blast in the Force, and dropped into a sliding kick, knocking Ch'rianna off balance, as the white blade sliced the insides of the Sith's thighs, and she spun up, stabbing through up from behind, dispatching the bully.

Almost too late, she turned to parry the wild swing from her other tormentor, as he screamed rage at her, and she could feel the dark pressing all about her.  His attacks were powerful, buffeting her about even as she blocked them, but he was enraged, clumsy, and she started timing his attacks.

From the edge of the cavern, Var'jo watched, stunned, and perhaps a little amused, as the girl jumped and dashed about, fighting what looked to him like imaginary monsters.  He knew he probably shouldn't feel so casual about it, but she DID look sort of silly fighting nothing out there.  At the same time, he was growing more and more frustrated with his own attempts to sense his crystal, as though the "call" he was looking for was bouncing all about him.

"There.  Three, two, one, and GO!" she thought to herself as she stepped back from Tucree's next swing instead of blocking it, then jumped up and forward, boosting her action with the Force, vaulting over and behind him, as she twisted about, and finished him with a well placed lunge to the heart.

Breathing heavily, she padded over to the crystal, and lifted it gently, triumphant, sweat pouring down her face, her clothed beneath her coat soaked, and she realized, there were no bodies, and she held, other than the glowing, vibrating crystal, a simple glow rod, now bearing indentations where she had gripped it so tightly.

************************************************************************************************************

He was starting to get really frustrated now.  They had been searching for hours and hours.  They were exhausted, pulling on the Force as much as they dared to keep going, and certain that outside the caves, the rest of the initiates had already gathered, crystals in hand, and that Master Deelin would be starting to wonder.  Still the pull of his crystal ALWAYS seemed to come from all around him, no matter where they were.

The whole frelling planet couldn't be his crystal.  In a huff, he kicked a rock in front of him and sat down, head in hands.  He felt her gentle hand on his face, her skin on his, she had taken her glove off, again, and she lifted his chin to look him in the eyes.  She gave him a soft, accepting, endearing look, not speaking for long moments, and he almost felt the heat rise in his cheeks, but pushed that down quickly.  What it did accomplish, however, was to fill him with purpose, resolve, as well as center him, somehow. 

With several deep breaths, he dropped quickly into a light meditation, as La'ulu smiled and giggled, backing away to give him space, she pulled out her own crystal, again, turning it over and over in her hand, her own honey brown eyes, almost the color of copper, reflecting the deep blue in her hand.

His eyes opened wide, and he stood quickly, yanking his glove from his right hand, and reached into his inner pocket.  As he pulled out the stone he had found under the temple, he ushered her closer with his other hand. 

Putting her own crystal back in her pouch, she padded over to him, tilting her head in curiosity.  He had shown her the stone several times, when he found it, but not so much since they left Coruscant. 

"Here, take this, and go around the corner, I have an idea!"  his excited voice echoed down the passage, and she took the gem from him, uncertain.

"Okay."  She tried to sound encouraging, but was confused.  She headed off, with his prize, which was warm. 

"This sure is a strange crystal." she thought, and his idea hit her, so she ran a little faster.

Behind her, she could hear his shout joyous celebration and he came running full tilt after her, unexpectedly lifting her up, and twirling her around, laughing aloud.

"I already had it, the whole time it was in my pocket!"  he shouted, joy and triumph filling the very Force around him, his eyes staring deeply into hers.

She laughed with him, caught up in the moment, and for just a second, almost felt like she wanted to kiss him.  Shaking her head, she dismissed THAT notion, and looked at her chronograph.

"We've got to hurry back, there's not much time!"  she exclaimed, breaking the moment, though she could have sworn she saw something in his eyes.

And so, hand in hand, the two ran full speed back to the entrance, only stopping just before the exit to let go one another's hand, and walk confidently out into the Temple room, ten shivering initiates, and a Jedi Master with raised eyebrow...

Interesting sequence with La'ulu...
"Was... was this a vision from the Force?   Of the future?  Or was it just part of her trial?"
No answer ever came...and if it was a test did she pass or did she fail by "springing like a wild cat"?
And as for Var'jo...that crystal seems to be...dominating him...

Maybe.  Maybe not.  Our ambitious young hopefuls continue on their quest to become Jedi Knights, defenders of the innocent and the Republic, as questions arise, curiosities abound, and answers seem to avoid the serving platter.  Stay tuned, and see what might be revealed in the next Ripple in the Dark...

Absolute phenomenal, Ilyiss!

Am I correct in picking up Slavic influences from the Suomi?

Closer to Finnish IIRC  ;)

Very perceptive.  Yes, there are some definate influences of the far Northern Europeans, and the language is borrowed and made slightly more SWarzy from Finnish.   

Thank you, and I hope everyone is enjoying reading as much as I am writing.

Illyiss your story is so much fun to read!  Thank you for sharing.  I had not picked up on the Scandinavian/Finnish connection but I greatly appreciate the effort!  But beyond that, your narrative abilities and lyrical style with the language are just so much fun to read!  Awesome!

Thank you, good sir, I am glad to share what swims in my head.

Enjoying you say? 

Most definitely!!

I am eager to read more of your excellent narrative!

Thank you good sir.  That my writing gives entertainment, is my most sincere hope in penning it.

My apologies for the delay, I have been fighting my own demons.  I hope you enjoy this next snippet. 

Chapter 6

************************************************************************************

"Finally!" thought Var'jo, as he sat at his assigned workstation, having sat through the lectures on lightsaber construction (for the second time for all of them, but the Masters insisted they have the full length refresher before starting), and having gathered his materials, he would finally be able to construct his OWN lightsaber.  He could feel similar levels of excitement from all the other Padawans in the work area, the Force in the room a swirling carnival of thrill and fervor.

Recognizing the imbalance in himself, he set down all his parts, sat up straight, closed his eyes, and took several deep, calming breaths, entering into a meditative state that allowed him to calm his feelings, and commune with the Force, seeking to allow help guide him.  At first he could still feel the cacophony of the room, though he slowly pulled back from it, and he could feel, for a few moments longer, La'ulu, entering her own serene meditation, as he drifted deeper into the calming familiarity of the Force.

As he flowed further into the state, he could sense the Force more deeply, feel the pulsing rhythm of it, like the drums of his people.  First, heavy and fast, and all jumbled, as though all the drummers were pounding their own racing tempo; but slowly, as he sank deeper and deeper into the meditation, the cadence slowed, one drum, which he knew was his own essence took lead, slowing, calming, and the rest fell to first the background, then to a distant, barely perceptible din.  Finally, reaching what looked roughly like an ice and crystal lined cave, which he knew to be his mind's construct within the Force, his essence settled, and he opened himself even more, inviting the Force to guide him, offer him wisdom in constructing his saber.  As well as his own, soon he felt the pulse of his crystal, which he had named Si'elu Ta-onta, or "soul fire" in the speech of his people, joining him in his seeking.

Within the cave, deep in the Force guided vision, Var'jo could see all the parts he had collected, more than he would need, though options were worth having, and he could see his crystal, perhaps more clearly than the inert parts, as distinct as he himself appeared, for certain.  Within the meditation, he allowed the Living Force to guide him, to flow through him as he gathered first the parts for the crystal chamber, building a strong, reinforced chamber, that was yet crafted with beauty, imprinting his essence into the work, as well as that of the crystal to call it home, which seemed to glow and pulse strongly as it seated within.  From there, he crafted carefully the power field conductor, and inserted the extended power cell he had selected, seating them securely to the aft of the crystal chamber.

Next, he aligned and installed the focusing crystal lenses he had found, secretly pleased when Huyang, the Jedi's prime lightsaber designer and engineer, a driod of considerable knowledge and experience, remarked at his "advanced choice".  Carefully tweaking the positions and alignments, as the guiding rhythm of the force, and Si'elu Ta-onta, flowed through him, he felt the satisfaction flow gently through him as the positioning became just right.  He continued through the rest of the precise and important inner workings, and then checked the alignment twice over, to both make sure it was all correct, and commit it to memory.

For the exterior, he had chosen segments of dark metal, smooth polished, with several machined grooves fore and aft.  The metal had resonated strongly with him, and he had recognized it as the same type of alloy he had learned was from his home planet, made strong by the process by which it was forged.  Taking his time, he went over every centimeter of the body, inside and out, over and over, smoothing any blemish, the thrumming drumbeat of his essence suffusing the casing, filling it with his purpose, his essence, connecting to it within the force.  This was not something he had learned, but allowed himself to be guided by the Force, the crystal, as to how and what he was doing.  he paid careful attention, doing everything he could to commit the process to memory, so that he could recreate it again.

That seemingly complete, he levitated the inner chassis and the body, containing them both in a sphere of his Force energy, allowing the thrumming beat of each element to synchronize, with one another, and his own Force presence.  Only then, when the parts and he were in harmony, did he slide the inner assembly into the body, aligning the position carefully, joining the switch in the body to the workings of the chassis.  He marveled at the sleek, solid design, and the very agreeable heft and balance in the hilt as it came to his hand naturally.  With a smile, he began to withdraw from the meditation, thankful of the guidance of the Force, and of Si'elu Ta-onta, eager to put into application what he had learned and accomplished in his meditations.

********************************************************************

With a slow stretch, Var'jo leisurely allowed his senses to return to the present, though he was met immediately with the distinct, unexpected sensation of his posterior coming into contact with his seat.  Next, he realized that his right hand was gripped comfortably around a cylindrical object, and object which felt familiar, though he was certain he was just about to construct that item.  Opening his eyes, he confirmed, with a touch of a startle, that he was, in fact, holding the lightsaber that he had constructed in his meditation.  Blinking several times to verify his vision, he tentatively reached out with the Force, and felt the warm, familiar presence of Si'elu, and the careful construction of his saber.

Looking around, he noticed that several of the other Padawan had gathered, as well as Huyang, with looks of wonder upon their faces, though he noted that from her work station, Ch'rianna sneered derisively at him.  He only smiled back at her, before looking up to the droid, moving forward to inspect his work before allowing him to test it.

"What... why is everyone staring, Sir?"  Var'jo's voice was already deepening, and he was still getting used to that, but the confusion in his voice was clear.

"Well, young Padawan, you entered a meditation, within which you levitated first yourself, then all of your parts, and over the better part of eight hours, telepathically assembled your saber."  The warm, if mechanical voice responded, as the long time instructor and engineer inspected the boy's work carefully, turning it over several times in his appendages.  "Interesting, how did you learn the technique to infuse the material with the force?  That technique has been lost to the Jedi for some time."  Huyang's voice conveyed his excited curiosity, and his appreciation for the workmanship.  Handing the saber back to Var'jo, he intoned with great interest, "It seems stable, give it a try."

"EIGHT HOURS!"  He thought to himself.  He could scarce believe he had been in meditation so long, let alone that he had ACTUALLY been constructing his saber as he was doing so.  It was then that he noticed several things;  he was ravenously hungry and thirsty, and that he was covered in sweat.  Ignoring all that for now, he accepted back his prize creation, filled with pride and anticipation.

Pushing down his excitement, confidence in his work filling him, he slid into a beginning guard position, saber held before him, and angled toward where his opponent would be, Var'jo pressed the ignition button for the first time, and grinned as the strong orange blade screamed to life, deep, pulsing thrum filling the room as he moved it confidently through several dulon, before deactivating the blade, his grin still prominent on his face.  From within the saber, he could feel Si'elu thrumming in time with his own satisfaction and sense of accomplishment. 

That was an EXCELLENT saber building sequence!  Inspires me to want to write another one myself!

Thank you good sir.  It was fun to write, and research some of the specifics as well.  I am tempted to write another construction sequence, but am letting the story decide if it wants to tell itself or not.

Illyiss, that was an amazing sequence!  I've often imagined what saber-building would actually be like.  I've written a couple of sequences myself, but they were never that detailed or beautiful.  Thank you, that as AMAZING!  I'll take this kind of scene over a good action sequence any day!  :-)

Thank you all. :)

As have TDC and Karm, I've written a saber construction sequence but certainly not with them depth of detail nor enjoyment in reading it as you've provided.  The serenity of the scene was perfect.  I remember reading Kevin J Anderson's "Jedi Academy" trilogy (meh) and one of the characters built a sophisticated, advanced saber.  That scene is a pale comparison with what you've written in this chapter  :)

I'm eager to see what happens to Var'jo next!

Thank you, good sir.  I am curious as well. ;)

As the others noted, a great sequence...one thing i liked was the slightly factory nature of the setting - at an 'assigned workstation' with droid overseer amongst the other padawans...but yeah this crystal of his...its got a strange hold on him...

Like the others, I have written a saber construction scene (well, technically a saber repair scene), and even though I did the research to know the correct names of pieces and how they went together and such, it was not nearly as beautiful as yours. Wonderfully done. One of the prominent things in that chapter was how long he was meditating for. That I think was my actual favorite part of the chapter, because (in my mind at least) it should take someone an extremely long time to connect with their saber. Well done. Plus, it's Orange. ;D

Thank you.  Interesting that you find that the crystal has a hold on him.


Thank you as well.  I was trying to convey that he had lost track of time, in addition to not realizing how much he was connecting with the physical world in his meditation.  I am glad that came across noticeably.  I think he still has some time ahead of him to fully connect with the saber, but there was a lot of invested energy...