Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #30 on: February 27, 2018, 11:00:08 PM » |
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The games, gladiatorial blood sport to feed the carnal desires of the crowd, and drain the credits from their wallets. The crowd roars and cheers, boos and jeers, ebbing and flowing with the steps, stabs, breaks, and deaths in the ring. While on the opposite side of the excitement, those down on the sand below, life is condensed to a moment to moment terror of kill or be killed, the endorphins supplying the rush each time the struggle is won, at the price of another piece of soul. Each champion either wraps their compassion, empathy is a cloak of lead and steel, or has it ripped from them, and either way the scars echo and pulse for the rest of their tortured, twisted lives...
And for those who get away, fate twists back and forth. Being both what they loathe, and what they are best at, the fight, the deep, slaughtering brutality of the fight draws them back over and over...
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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Lord_S_Gray
Forumverse Chronicler
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 465
Posts: 1978
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« Reply #31 on: February 27, 2018, 11:50:15 PM » |
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Merciless, no redemption...I like that there is really no real start and no real resolution in this chapter...its like just a 'cut' from a week in Tasriis life...the repetition, the indifference...almost learned helplessness in her situation...trying to retain some control over her situation by 'sparing' the human girl in the only way she can. Great snippet.
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Lord_S_Gray
Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?" Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #32 on: February 27, 2018, 11:52:04 PM » |
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Reminds me more than a little of the first season of Spartacus, in that regard.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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TheDutchman
Forumverse Archivist
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 1154
Posts: 4350
Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth
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« Reply #33 on: February 28, 2018, 02:07:54 AM » |
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Reminds me more than a little of the first season of Spartacus, in that regard.
A veritable masterpiece, that 
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'DanMy sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #34 on: February 28, 2018, 02:08:14 AM » |
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So, this is your fault, TheDrunkenConsular, for including a line I wrote, as a line from a poem, in the fictional book I am credited with writing. So I was inspired to write this poem you referenced, and titled for me. So I give to you:
Insights for a Broken Man
Advance came the order Decided in some office Far from the fighting Warm teak and Scotch
Sir, yes, Sir From the soldiers The lives on the line Gun oil and napalm The scents they knew
Another lost objective This a lonely hill Faces only last night Sharing solemn meal Explosions drown the shots Faces forever still
One less for cards tonight Two less to share the rum Three less to know children Wives tears to spill For another lonely hill
Put aside those things Remember not your life Think only briefly If you must at all
All that matters is One more step One more shot One more action
Until you might go home To where you might recall That place forever frozen In night time to recall.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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Lord_S_Gray
Forumverse Chronicler
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 465
Posts: 1978
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« Reply #35 on: February 28, 2018, 02:25:49 AM » |
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So, this is your fault, TheDrunkenConsular, for including a line I wrote, as a line from a poem, in the fictional book I am credited with writing. So I was inspired to write this poem you referenced, and titled for me. So I give to you:
Insights for a Broken Man
Advance came the order Decided in some office Far from the fighting Warm teak and Scotch
Sir, yes, Sir From the soldiers The lives on the line Gun oil and napalm The scents they knew
Another lost objective This a lonely hill Faces only last night Sharing solemn meal Explosions drown the shots Faces forever still
One less for cards tonight Two less to share the rum Three less to know children Wives tears to spill For another lonely hill
Put aside those things Remember not your life Think only briefly If you must at all
All that matters is One more step One more shot One more action
Until you might go home To where you might recall That place forever frozen In night time to recall.
That...is astonishing...so sparse yet so powerful...the one/two/three...the frozen faces paralleling their frozen images of their home...encouragement not to think...so much to unpack done with such absolute precision and simplicity...that itself reflects the tragic simplicity of the situation the broken man finds himself in - I can't do justice to this.
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Lord_S_Gray
Surik: "Kreia, what are you—are you a Jedi, a Sith?" Kreia: "Does it matter? Of course it does, such titles allow you to break the galaxy into light and dark, categorize it. Perhaps I am neither, and I hold both as what they are, pieces of a whole."
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #36 on: February 28, 2018, 02:53:15 AM » |
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That...is astonishing...so sparse yet so powerful...the one/two/three...the frozen faces paralleling their frozen images of their home...encouragement not to think...so much to unpack done with such absolute precision and simplicity...that itself reflects the tragic simplicity of the situation the broken man finds himself in - I can't do justice to this.
Thank you, Lord Gray, it was humbling to pen.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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TheDutchman
Forumverse Archivist
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: 1154
Posts: 4350
Avatar courtesy of For Tyeth
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« Reply #37 on: February 28, 2018, 03:48:08 AM » |
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Admittedly I've never been one to like free-verse...but that is...sublime.
On the other hand, my wife VERY much is; her critique: "excellence in a form most pure."
Damn Illyiss...you just made a person who doesn't care for SW interested in SW!
THAT'S powerful and eloquent rhetoric!
Oh, special mention to LSG for having originated the brilliant idea of the fictional tome of "The Collected Poems of Illyiss!" You sir are incredible!
And for TDC for his inspired quatrain...literally; it inspired our very own odist!
Damn you fine gentlemen improve upon our SW universe!
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Sig courtesy of DarthScrub Cataphract Triarch of the Vhal'DanMy sabers:Zearic's Aldrnari, Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, AS; Zearic's shoto, Apprentice v4 w/Obsidian, AS; Graflex SE w/Obsidian, GB; Archon v3 (modded w/ activation box) w/Obsidian, CG; Dark Sentinel v4 w/Obsidian, BR; Sentinel LE v4 w/Obsidian, GB; Initiate v5 w/Obsidian, AS; Sentinel LE v4 stunt, EG; Aeon LE v4 stunt, FO; Dominix v4 stunt, BR; Aeon v3 stunt, SY
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #38 on: February 28, 2018, 05:04:50 AM » |
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Admittedly I've never been one to like free-verse...but that is...sublime.
On the other hand, my wife VERY much is; her critique: "excellence in a form most pure."
Damn Illyiss...you just made a person who doesn't care for SW interested in SW!
THAT'S powerful and eloquent rhetoric!
Oh, special mention to LSG for having originated the brilliant idea of the fictional tome of "The Collected Poems of Illyiss!" You sir are incredible!
And for TDC for his inspired quatrain...literally; it inspired our very own odist!
Damn you fine gentlemen improve upon our SW universe!
*bows* Thank you, kind sir, and please, pass on my thanks to your lovely lady as well.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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« Reply #39 on: February 28, 2018, 05:55:36 AM » |
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Illyiss, that's incredible! I'm proud to be blamed for such work!
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Who says red is only for the bad guys?
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #40 on: February 28, 2018, 08:08:24 AM » |
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Illyiss, that's incredible! I'm proud to be blamed for such work!
Thank you, good sir. I have been writing more again, poetry as well. And while I don't want to push it here, anyone possibly interested, there is a link on my profile, feel free to look or share.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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« Reply #41 on: February 28, 2018, 03:17:06 PM » |
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Illyiss, that is simply amazing. Thank you for sharing. :-)
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signature picture by DarthScrub Master Singer of the Mak'Tor
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #42 on: February 28, 2018, 10:11:41 PM » |
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Thank you as well, good sir.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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« Reply #43 on: March 01, 2018, 12:05:43 AM » |
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Somebody give me a prompt or two for some War Journal entries. I've got a looong car ride tomorrow that I'd like to spend writing, so give me some ideas!
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Who says red is only for the bad guys?
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Illyiss
Knight Commander
Force Alignment: -491
Posts: 946
There are shadows darker still...
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« Reply #44 on: March 01, 2018, 12:08:49 AM » |
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More tales of Heddit's absence.
More action reports of the Mandolorian Mercenary company.
A report from one of the Templar teams that stayed on searching temples.
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Darth Pandæmis
Peace is a lie...
Jedi Council of Ohio
Dominix LE V4 Tri-Cree FO, Sentinel LE V4 BR, Sentinel V4 BR, Dark Initiate LE V3 CG
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