The Wandering Star

[Frizzenflyer]

So I have been writing this for about a month. Basically whenever I was not on the phone, typing or filing reports, in meetings, or trying to convince my coworkers to talk to me I was jotting this down in a notebook (actually sometimes I would write while doing those things), and I made up ships and companies for fun to be used in my stories.
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   Shayella sat cross legged in the cavernous main cargo hold of the Wandering Star, rows of pallets shrouded with heave tarps surrounded her. As her breathing slowed and the force flowed into her consciousness she felt the men moving in the shadows, their heartbeat and their breathing. She could hear their stealthy footsteps. They are coming.
   The brilliant golden light of her saber filled the space between the pallets and shone on the ceiling twelve meters above the floor, its hum resonated in the air ducts overhead. With three sharp cracks the first three blaster bolts shot towards her. She sent the first winging back to its source, the second and third she managed to send into the deck plating in front of her feet. She spun and deflected another two bolts, she heard Jor curse at being struck. She felt an object come at her from her left, she pivoted on her toe and swung her lightsaber through it like it was nothing. Then it exploded.
   She gasped and stumbled. She didn’t hear the explosion as much as her ears were suddenly ringing and she couldn’t see anything. She didn’t even hear the blaster that discharged the bolts that hit her in the chest and sent her sprawling. Her saber hilt rattled off of the deck as she lost her grip on it.
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there is more coming.

[Frizzenflyer]

Here is a little more, I am not working today so I might actually get some more of it up.
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“You got two of us this time!”, Torm laughed, his sleek amphibious form seemed to float through the haze and his voice was muffled by the ringing in her ears, “Master Koltairo will be pleased!”
   Shayella just groaned, not long ago she had just been fighting Torm, shortly after that Molk was added to the mix, and just today Jor joined the fray. Since “morning” they had beat her every time. This last defeat, though it was by far her best showing, was the most painful, the flash bang had left minor burns on her arms, face, and leku.
   “Lets call it a day,”, Molk said gently, “I think we are all sore enough.” Molks Arms and chest were covered with scorch marks, Which was no surprise seeing as how he stood roughly two and a half meters tall and over a meter wide at the chest, He is a big target. Torm and Jor fared only a little better, they were also splattered here and there by similar scorch marks, but they were both shorter and thinner than Molk.
   “Okay, bright and early folks.”, Torm announced, “Shay, go on up to the infirmary and get those burns looked at. I’ll go talk to Master Koltairo. Jor, get the blasters cleaned and stowed.”
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let me know what you think, tell me what I can do to improve my writing.