Ruin A Wish Foundation

[Vyk]

I wish I had enough to get my filming hobby off the ground.

Granted, here's a bunch of helium balloons.

I wish I had a bunch of helium balloons for myself.

[GregG124]

Granted, your house floats away towards paradise falls but crashes into the cliffside and your home is destroyed.

I wish I could take daily naps.

[Rapine]

Granted, but you sleep all the days away, and are left awake and alone at night.

I wish I were instantly good at everything.

(Vyk, I like your avatar pic.)

[ThreadJack]

Granted, but you can never enjoy doing anything.

I wish I could play bass. lol

[GregG124]

Granted, bass clarinet.

I wish I could drink lots of water and not get full

[Darth Justicar]

Granted, but now you can't go more than 15 minutes without needing to relieve yourself.  You only specified your stomach wouldn't get full, after all.

I wish I weren't always so cold.

[GregG124]

Granted, you now live on a hybrid planed of Tatooine and Jakku and three large, blazing suns cause you to grow significantly tan and wearing any sort of clothing makes you sweat up a storm, leaving you in a constant, moist, discomfort.

I wish I was less cold sensitive!

[Vyk]

(Vyk, I like your avatar pic.)

Thanks!  One of my TOR chars, who not-so-surprisingly is named Vyk, and not-so-coincidentally looks a lot like I do IRL. 

I wish I was less cold sensitive!

Granted!  Now even in Hoth-like temperatures, you feel like you're living on a hybrid planet of Tatooine and Jakku, so you constantly sweat up a storm, leaving you in a constant, moist, discomfort. 

I wish I were better at cram-fu.

[Darth Justicar]

Granted, but now you can never return to SaberForum because you're maximizing your time.  ALL the time.

I wish summer would hurry up and get here.

[GregG124]

Granted, but you're still cold.

I wish my switch covers from Sedsti would hurry and get in.

[ExoticKazama]

Granted, but they don't fit and are the wrong color. Oh, and no returns.

I wish I were off tomorrow without losing my job.

[BurceChuat]

Granted, your boss generously grants you a day off, with pay! However, as you're resting home peacefully enjoying your paid day off, you hear a knock at your door. You open it to find a little girl scout selling cookies. The box art looks great and the aroma itself is scrumptious, and you buy a box. As you're reaching for your wallet, however, the girl pulls out a tire iron from behind her back and whacks your knees, shattering them. The rest of the scouts come out from the bushes and start attacking you, and it's then you realize that they're not innocent girl scouts - they're the infamous Judy Garland Gang, a group comprised entirely of convicted, battle-hardened, drug addicted midget women! You scream in pain as they shatter your bones and tear the flesh from your body. Leaving you within an inch of your life, they proceed to raid your abode for any valuables and burn the rest. Finally, as you crawl away in order to escape the fiery inferno that was your home, your neighbors simply point and laugh at you while stating "it was just a prank, bro!"

I wish I had the e-pipe I wanted.

[Darth Justicar]

Granted, but you're also granted a view of your future...you will die an early, slow, agonizing death.  (But remember, the future isn't set...you may be able to save yourself if you put down the nicotine...)

I wish TV didn't suck.

[Xaeyon]

Granted but it's only one channel of reruns that plays at a tenth the speed the last time it was played.

I wish I had fly spray.

[Rapine]

Granted, but it doesn't do anything to make you more "fly" at all.  It just leaves you wet, sticky, and smelly.

I wish the weather here wasn't terrible today.