Venting.

[rezeb360]

I'm stuck with a hard choice. What you ask, well while talking with my fiance about next year and taxes. I brought up costumes... ya well shes agreed to one or the other. But I'm stuck at both and running out of time. Yes time. Because she put a time limit and if I don't figure it out I don't get either. My costume choices are a Mandalorian or a Jedi.  Needles to say Ive been mulling around for a year and my dead line is next week. 

[Master Rel]

Mando is a long engagement my friend...work on a quality Jedi outfit.

Something fun with small appliances maybe?

Like a Zabrak perhaps?

[ed_ification]

A good Jedi outfit's part's can serve elsewhere for other costumes.  Meanwhile, Mando armor is limited, by comparison, so I would agree with Rel.

[JEStucker]

Mandalorian is a pure labor of love and can become a money sink very quickly.  It's also pretty much exclusive to being a suit of Mandalorian Armor no matter what.  With very minor changes Jedi costumes can cross several genres right up to Ren Fest attire, change a shirt or a belt and it's a totally new outfit.

Once upon a time, back in my early 20's, I put the time and effort into a proper Boba Fett costume, the only part that was purchased was a premade purchase was a Don Post Helmet (Which I still have,) the rest I fabricated from scratch.  I had no clue how to vaccuform or work with things like that, but I did know how to work metal...  I found and printed a .pdf off the internet from a site that's no longer around and got to work.  I think between sheet metal, paint, undergear and padding, I ended up with around $800 tied up in it over almost a full year.  I really wish I had pictures, but we're talking pre-digital camera days and since I've moved several times actual photos are lord only knows where.  I did sell the costume to a friend after I gained some weight and it didn't fit right anymore, he gave me $1000 for it and I did get to keep my helmet... now I haven't heard from him in 15 years and can't find him on facebook, so who knows where it ended up...

[rezeb360]

So the Jedi it is then.

[Master Rel]

So the Jedi it is then.

Best of luck and success with your costume project!

Do you have a plan of attack or any designs yet?

Of so, prob should move the details to another non-venting thread lol.

[Luna]

I have never felt this guilty in my life. My mother has no idea what to do, my father wants nothing to do with me, and I want nothing to do with my father or my girlfriend.

I had a really long post written but I couldn't make it forum safe so I'll post tomorrow.

[Luna]

I'll explain the situation now that I can think.

First off, a confession and a big apology.

I'm a girl.

I always pretend to be male in online interactions, or simply not mention my gender (for security and to avoid looking like an attention ****). I don't know why I never corrected that here, but better late than never, I guess. I'm very, very sorry.

Feels good to get that off my chest.

I hope you guys won't be too mad at me, but if you are, I deserve it.

With that out of the way, here's what happened.

I wasn't lying about having a girlfriend, but I've been too worried to come out of the closet to my parents. Anyway, my girlfriend decided to tell my father that she wanted to become much more serious with our relationship. He was incredibly pissed and made some rash choices, but my mom wasn't particularly mad, just confused. I was initially furious at my girlfriend (as indicated by my initial post) but I've gotten over that and I didn't do anything stupid so we're still together.

Onto the bad part.

Out of some immature desire for revenge, I revealed that my father had been having at least one affair. I hadn't meant to come across the information and I had never intended to tell anyone until that moment.

My father is staying at a hotel, my mother is sleeping in a guest bedroom for some reason, and I'll be staying with SOTJ (she's moving back into her house tonight and said she could use the company anyway).

So yeah, I tore my family apart. I make myself sick.

[JEStucker]

I'll explain the situation now that I can think.

First off, a confession and a big apology.

I'm a girl.

I always pretend to be male in online interactions, or simply not mention my gender (for security and to avoid looking like an attention ****). I don't know why I never corrected that here, but better late than never, I guess. I'm very, very sorry.

Feels good to get that off my chest.

I hope you guys won't be too mad at me, but if you are, I deserve it.

With that out of the way, here's what happened.

I wasn't lying about having a girlfriend, but I've been too worried to come out of the closet to my parents. Anyway, my girlfriend decided to tell my father that she wanted to become much more serious with our relationship. He was incredibly pissed and made some rash choices, but my mom wasn't particularly mad, just confused. I was initially furious at my girlfriend (as indicated by my initial post) but I've gotten over that and I didn't do anything stupid so we're still together.

Onto the bad part.

Out of some immature desire for revenge, I revealed that my father had been having at least one affair. I hadn't meant to come across the information and I had never intended to tell anyone until that moment.

My father is staying at a hotel, my mother is sleeping in a guest bedroom for some reason, and I'll be staying with SOTJ (she's moving back into her house tonight and said she could use the company anyway).

So yeah, I tore my family apart. I make myself sick.

For starters, you were backed into a corner as near as I can see it.  Be proud of who you are, I, for one, will not and do not judge.  You did NOT tear your family apart, no matter what anyone may say, you may have allowed the information to become public knowledge, but odds are it would have in time anyways.  Affairs never tend to do anyone any good and always end up hurting loved ones.  In this case I would blame your father for starters, and maybe look to your mother because obviously somewhere in their relationship there's been a breakdown in communication.  Sometimes a good airing of the grievances can get all those skeletons out of the closet and into the light of day so that people are forced to deal with them and actually talk.  Who knows, it may make things better in the long run.

So, internet hugs to you, try and hang on and see how things work out, it may take a little time, but several of us will be here if you need to keep venting.

*I too am a father of three (21, 19, 16) the oldest two being girls... I can be made available in PMs as well if you really want to unload.  Again, no judging, just a sympathetic ear/eye.

[Master Rel]

Luna, first off...this is about as safe a forum to ever come up with whatever as I have ever seen.

Your situation is a tough one, but nothing is beyond repair.

I have a pile of kids...27, 21, 19, 18...the first three girls.

Believe me when I tell you that between them, living their young crazy lives, I have had to ride the roller coaster called "OMG" more than once.

One letting in an 18yr old through her second floor window when she was 13-14, getting pregnant by the same guy...going through all of that...no details beyond that is necessary...it was ugly.

One dating a guy who we found out after they broke up that he had date raped her when she was 14; she stayed with him out of guilt...we found out when he bragged on facebook about the 6 14-15yr old girls he had plucked without their consent...my son who had a friend of a friend looped it back to us.

And on and on.

Yours is not all that uncommon.

We as a forum will support you of course.

I as a person on the same support you and offer all the internet hugs and well wishes that I can muster...PMs are available if desired or needed, for another Father's input.

Your life is yours to live.

The issue with your Dad...it is not easy to understand right now but he made his choices and he is an adult.  It is not yours to manage for him.  That he did what he did to have anything to be caught for is not on you.

You gotta let that part go.

That is easy to say and so very hard to do, but try.

Your family will come back, give it time.

There are stages everyone goes through when a major event happens...be it a house fire, wrecking a car, getting arrested, etc. or the more personal stuff like teen age pregnancies, catching kids with drugs, etc.

These stages take the pace they take...they can not be forced, do not try.

There are initial stages of anger, which eventually leads to denial, and then in the end a measure of acceptance.

Not everyone reaches this stage, but most do over time.

And truthfully if they do not reach the acceptance point, that is on them and not on you.

You did not break your vows, you did not assault or injure anyone...you simply had to deal with who you are at this very moment.

Life can be wonderful and full of ponies and rainbows...but life also reminds us that ponies poo, a lot...and also reminds us that usually where there are rainbows there is rain.

Step around the poo, get out of the rain, pick yourself up...life is not over, it is just getting started for you.

There are real councilors ready to help online, on the phone, and in person...where ever you are.

Find them...talk to them...and listen to them.

The rest will fall into place.

Believe me...I promise that as a parent, and my wife backs me up here on this for sure, I would much rather get a life choice situation like being interested in same sex partners than something life damning like having HIV from dirty needles from being addicted to heroin.

Oh we would be mad or upset at the moment...that is life, and you wish the best for your kids and your friends...easier is better, but you have to be true to yourself.

We would support our kids no matter what...give us a couple days to chew on the tough bits as they come up...and I am sure they will come around in their own time.

Your business is your own...that you could share here is important.

A simple forum for supporting LED toys...leading to being a forum that could give even the smallest measure of support and friendship to another person...that has real value.

Chin up...it is not the end of the world...it just got more interesting is all.

Big hug from me Luna...I do not care boy or girl or pony...all the same to me...I would rather you be who you are and be comfortable in that skin.




PS
Your Mom will need hugs too...sooner than later...just saying.

[Kresnik]

What the Wise Jedi said above me and just to add

You didn't cheat... your father did that's not on you that is on him

Hey at least you didn't have to come out

Be with your mother she needs you now more than ever she just got two shocks ... One shouldn't be nowadays and I'm sure they had an idea if they didn't they are daft ...

Anyways good luck keep your head up shoulders up and love your mother and love your girlfriend ...

Sometimes rash decisions are the best and get you on your feet and moving

Good luck

I appreciate that you cooled down before you told us what happened ... That is a feature I see less and less nowadays ... It shows your maturity !

[Master Bluespike74]

I'll explain the situation now that I can think.

First off, a confession and a big apology.

I'm a girl.

I always pretend to be male in online interactions, or simply not mention my gender (for security and to avoid looking like an attention ****). I don't know why I never corrected that here, but better late than never, I guess. I'm very, very sorry.

Feels good to get that off my chest.

I hope you guys won't be too mad at me, but if you are, I deserve it.

With that out of the way, here's what happened.

I wasn't lying about having a girlfriend, but I've been too worried to come out of the closet to my parents. Anyway, my girlfriend decided to tell my father that she wanted to become much more serious with our relationship. He was incredibly pissed and made some rash choices, but my mom wasn't particularly mad, just confused. I was initially furious at my girlfriend (as indicated by my initial post) but I've gotten over that and I didn't do anything stupid so we're still together.

Onto the bad part.

Out of some immature desire for revenge, I revealed that my father had been having at least one affair. I hadn't meant to come across the information and I had never intended to tell anyone until that moment.

My father is staying at a hotel, my mother is sleeping in a guest bedroom for some reason, and I'll be staying with SOTJ (she's moving back into her house tonight and said she could use the company anyway).

So yeah, I tore my family apart. I make myself sick.

First off Luna, I figured you were a girl from about your 3rd interaction with me.  I can understand your reason for keeping your gender a secret.  No problems from me.  Who you are, is who you are.  It is very tough when a gender role is defined and when someone falls outside that role, they are criticized for it.  I can understand why you chose to stay in the closet but keep in mind, you are not alone.

You did not destroy your family.  As Rel has more eloquently put it, it is your father that is the sole doer of that.  Having been in that type of situation, I can honestly say that when someone has made up their mind to cheat, nothing or no one will stop them from doing what they want to do.  Of course they'll point fingers and place blame but it is simply a diversion away from them.  

Had I been in your situation, I have no doubt I would have done the very same thing.  Once again, you are not alone there.  

Feel free to let PM's fly if you need more freedom to speak.  

As the father of a daughter, I may be faced with hearing that very same thing about her.  My biggest concerns with her life is that she is healthy and happy.  Everything else is just a father's desires and not necessarily those of my daughter.  

Even if your family is not proud of you, many of us here on the forum are.  As Ben Kenobi best put it, you have just taken your very first step into a larger world.  

[B1ondeange1]

well I think all the wise words have been said, but ill just say this- you are who you are. whether you are a guy or gal, whether you like guys or gals, doesn't matter im not about to judge you on that, and im sure many others here wont either.

[RogueLeader]

I'll explain the situation now that I can think.

First off, a confession and a big apology.

I'm a girl.

I always pretend to be male in online interactions, or simply not mention my gender (for security and to avoid looking like an attention ****). I don't know why I never corrected that here, but better late than never, I guess. I'm very, very sorry.

Feels good to get that off my chest.

I hope you guys won't be too mad at me, but if you are, I deserve it.

With that out of the way, here's what happened.

I wasn't lying about having a girlfriend, but I've been too worried to come out of the closet to my parents. Anyway, my girlfriend decided to tell my father that she wanted to become much more serious with our relationship. He was incredibly pissed and made some rash choices, but my mom wasn't particularly mad, just confused. I was initially furious at my girlfriend (as indicated by my initial post) but I've gotten over that and I didn't do anything stupid so we're still together.

Onto the bad part.

Out of some immature desire for revenge, I revealed that my father had been having at least one affair. I hadn't meant to come across the information and I had never intended to tell anyone until that moment.

My father is staying at a hotel, my mother is sleeping in a guest bedroom for some reason, and I'll be staying with SOTJ (she's moving back into her house tonight and said she could use the company anyway).

So yeah, I tore my family apart. I make myself sick.

Oh Luna...

*hugs*

And keep in mind it's not your fault. It's your father's. You didn't do anything wrong.

I'm here if you need to talk.

[rezeb360]

First .... Second: I knew the entire time you were a lady. Never the less Luna we are here, and I hope the wise above my help you. I have meany friends that have gone through similar things. I have always stood by them literally and spiritually. If need be I'm always available. Remember every thing changes and it is always inevitable. It may not happen the way you want it to, but when it dose theirs no looking back. So move forward when ready and remember the first step is a duzzy. As always MTFBWY and there's always mlp when all else fails lol.