Venting.

[hazard502]

I can't say I'm a big fan of the whole "I wish they would get back together" mantra, having been through a divorce myself whilst also seeing several of good friends divorce some very horrible people.  They've always been better off without each other.

But sometimes it works out differently, so I'm glad to see a few happy endings here. 

I agree, there are those who should never look back and there are specific cases in my family where this applies...but I did say some, not all

[Prowl 1701]

I sense a fair amount of hope in this situation. If it is meant to, it will be. My aunt & uncle just got remarried this summer after being divorced for 15 years.

Only to be friends.  I don't think her and I should date again, I do think we make good friends though, she feels the same way.  I don't get upset or bent out of shape about break ups, it happened last night and my day today has been great. *shrugs*

[Noctis]

Only to be friends.  I don't think her and I should date again, I do think we make good friends though, she feels the same way.  I don't get upset or bent out of shape about break ups, it happened last night and my day today has been great. *shrugs*

I like your attitude.  You broke up for a reason and I think it's a wise decision to realize that and stick to it.  Glad you could still be friends, though!  I'm only friends with a handful of my ex's.  They're called "ex's" for a reason.      

[JEStucker]

Wife and I still have to tolerate her Ex- being around from time to time, since he is the kids biological father... but with two of them out of the house and living on their own, that contact has been cut by 2/3.

[Darth Logos]

Only to be friends.  I don't think her and I should date again, I do think we make good friends though, she feels the same way.  I don't get upset or bent out of shape about break ups, it happened last night and my day today has been great. *shrugs*

I've slept since I said that. It's funny how you can interpret things differently after some sleep. The same thing happened with me and my ex. The split was amicable, and we still talk. The love that was once there had degraded, and the relationship no longer functioned.

[Noctis]

One of my best friends is getting married in about 6 weeks and she wants to go out and have a good time one night.  The problem is that her idea of a "good time" is to get (as she put it) "monster drunk and have shenanigans."  At the local fair.  At night. 

Yeeeeeeah, this is not my idea of a good time at all.  I don't drink and I'm not keen on being around drunk people, honestly.  I'm even less keen on being around tons of small children, noise, and the haphazard puddle of vomit.   

I'm the Person of Honor in her wedding, but I think I'm gonna have to pass on this.   

[ThreadJack]

One of my best friends is getting married in about 6 weeks and she wants to go out and have a good time one night.  The problem is that her idea of a "good time" is to get (as she put it) "monster drunk and have shenanigans."  At the local fair.  At night. 

Yeeeeeeah, this is not my idea of a good time at all.  I don't drink and I'm not keen on being around drunk people, honestly.  I'm even less keen on being around tons of small children, noise, and the haphazard puddle of vomit.   

I'm the Person of Honor in her wedding, but I think I'm gonna have to pass on this.   

Perhaps you can convince her to plan something that everyone can enjoy?

[Noctis]

Perhaps you can convince her to plan something that everyone can enjoy?

Well, I had originally suggested we go to a strip club since she's never been to one and everyone was all for it . . . until her other friend suggested "getting @#$%-ed up on hurricanes and stumbling through the fair grounds."  Suddenly, she thought this was the best idea ever.  If that's what they go with?  I'll just eat dinner with them and bow out of that "good time."  Although honestly, like I said before, I don't like hanging out with people whose sole intent is to get blitzed as hell and act a fool.   Acting a fool, I can deal with, but I don't do drunken idiocy.  My friend made it clear that she wants to get raging drunk, so that's a problem for me for many reasons.  She seems to forget that I took care of her multiple times when she was smashed in college and they are not good memories for me.  While I've had the occasional drink, I've never been drunk and don't plan to try it.

[ThreadJack]

Well, I had originally suggested we go to a strip club since she's never been to one and everyone was all for it . . . until her other friend suggested "getting @#$%-ed up on hurricanes and stumbling through the fair grounds."  Suddenly, she thought this was the best idea ever.  If that's what they go with?  I'll just eat dinner with them and bow out of that "good time."  Although honestly, like I said before, I don't like hanging out with people whose sole intent is to get blitzed as hell and act a fool.   Acting a fool, I can deal with, but I don't do drunken idiocy.  My friend made it clear that she wants to get raging drunk, so that's a problem for me for many reasons.  She seems to forget that I took care of her multiple times when she was smashed in college and they are not good memories for me.  While I've had the occasional drink, I've never been drunk and don't plan to try it.

To be fair, they could get blasted at the strip club as well....

[Noctis]

To be fair, they could get blasted at the strip club as well....

They could, but 1.) the alcohol is much more expensive and 2.) I know the bouncers at this particular club and they WILL cut you off if they see you getting too blasted to drive.  Much less chance of things getting too out of hand.  

Honestly, if there's a chance of her getting stupid-drunk and obnoxious, I'd rather not be a part of any of it.  One of my BIGGEST peeves on the planet is when someone gets drunk/high and they start professing how much they love everyone and getting all sloppy touchy-feely.   Sometimes, tears are involved, and then I really get annoyed.   Getting tipsy and having a good time is one thing.  Getting crazy drunk is another.  If she really wants to do that, it's her business and I would never hold that against her, but I'm not subjecting myself to something that not only makes me uncomfortable, but flat-out pisses me off, too.    I have my reasons.  She can totally go out and do this, but not with me, man.  

[hazard502]

I won't participate in things that break my CORE values, it's the fabric of who I am. Sometimes I'll consider a compromise depending on the person but otherwise no. And Nox your situation falls right into the "no thank you" category for me.
She being your friend, I hope she takes a moment to really hear your heart and show some value towards what's important to you too and re-consider other options.

[Lord Canterbury]

I won't participate in things that break my CORE values, it's the fabric of who I am.

You have exceptions though.

I found this video of Hazard celebrating the day he won the Emerald Prize in the last Raffle.

Pretty sure you had a few rounds of . . . something . . . that day:

[Noctis]

I won't participate in things that break my CORE values, it's the fabric of who I am. Sometimes I'll consider a compromise depending on the person but otherwise no. And Nox your situation falls right into the "no thank you" category for me.
She being your friend, I hope she takes a moment to really hear your heart and show some value towards what's important to you too and re-consider other options.

Thanks for that!  I really appreciate what you had to say here. 

Yeah, we've known each other for almost 20 years and the friendship has survived a lot and always come out stronger.  Not disagreements between us, mind you.  Just thing that happened in our lives that temporarily drove us apart.  She lived in another state for a long time, I was in school, just those kind of things.  So, I'm not afraid to speak to her about it and tell her that it's not really my bag, baby.  I'm not sure if you would consider this a core value or not, but I've had too many people in my life destroy themselves with alcohol.  There's also a very good reason why getting drunk is a bad idea for this person in particular, but it seems dishonorable to speak of it on a forum, so I'll keep it to myself.  I have no desire to watch the possible outcome of people being drunk, either.  I don't do that whole "puking and blacking out" thing.  If THAT starts?  Bye.  I have zero patience for it, no matter who it is.  

That being said, if she wants to go out and get a little tipsy, I can put up with it.  There's a big difference between "I had a few drinks and now I'm giggling at silly crap" and "Ohhhh llawwwdd, I IZ SOOO DRRRUUNKKK LMFAO. 'RRRR-THANG IZ HEEELAAAARRRREEEUUSSS!  I LUUUUVVV UUUUU MAAAAN!"  

The latter will earn an entire ocean of contempt from me and it sounds to me like that's what she's going for.  So, we'll have a chat about it and see.  

[hazard502]

You're welcome  If a person participates in something that changes who you are when you're suppose to be on your game, then it's worth stepping back and taking a second look.
We are all able to hurt ourselves knowing and unknowingly. That's why quality people in our lives are a really big deal...they are a measuring stick to remind us(and in some cases bring us back to) of what our best is.
We all need those people that's for sure

[hazard502]

You have exceptions though.

I found this video of Hazard celebrating the day he won the Emerald Prize in the last Raffle.

Pretty sure you had a few rounds of . . . something . . . that day:

Lol...such a crazy man haha