Baby Steps Are Made Of Win

[TheHobbitofDune]

So people tend to know me as a crazy happy weirdo, but outside of the internet it's a totally different story.

To put it bluntly, I'm a 19-year-old loser that doesn't go to school, doesn't have a job, and just sits around on his fat butt all day.

My problem is that I absolutely friggin' hate myself. I always think about and imagine the worst, and whenever I am genuinely happy, I can't help but think that life will go back to being horrible very quickly.

The point is that I don't allow myself to be happy anymore for fear of things going horribly wrong. And also because I'm punishing myself because I feel like a total failure, like I don't deserve to be happy. But it all ties together.

That's why I stay up so late, wake up so late, and don't do anything except stay in my room all day.

But that's where the idea of baby steps comes in.

CUE EPIC HOBBIE THEME SONG THAT I USE FOR INSPIRATION DURING THESE HARSH TIMES! (it's a minute-long excerpt... not that long):

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPRmY907sJw" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPRmY907sJw</a>

So yeah, you get the idea now, hopefully.

Over the last two days, I've been waking up early and getting my sleep schedule back on track. Today, I added walking to the mix... a bit of exercise. Tomorrow, I'll be adding something else. Oh, and I've been going to bed early too Then eventually I'll work my way up to job-hunting and such. I don't want to do it all at once, because I'll more than likely be overwhelmed and give up, which would be bad.

So yeah, it doesn't seem like much now, and probably doesn't even deserve a thread, but I'm planning on updating this regularly. My journey is going to be tough, but if you guys could send some positive energy my way, I would seriously appreciate it. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this.

The game has only just begun. 

[RLYHYPERGUY]

Good story, man! I'm excited to see you updates. Keep on winning!

And HAIL HYDRA.

[Jedijosh]

Keep it up Hobbie.

[Manroon]

Keep it up, Hobbie! I'm praying for ya.

[TheHobbitofDune]

Thanks, guys That means a lot.

I'm happy to report that I'm still going strong with this. I can already feel the improvements. However, I do worry that I will give up somewhere down the road just like with all my other attempts to get better... but that's just my negativity creeping in.

*mutters under breath* I know I can, I know I can...

[Master Rel]

Wait wait wait...what happen to going to school and the girl friend that was on here?   

He says hoping not to open fresh wounds...

[TheHobbitofDune]

Oh boy, where do I begin?

College just wasn't working for me. Or rather, my future. I was aiming for a marketing degree because that's what my dad wanted. A relatively easy degree, yes, but one that I still couldn't bring myself to work hard for. It just didn't click for me. So I gave up. And then I took a step back and thought to myself, "What the heck am I going to do with my life? What do I actually WANT?"

And then I proceeded to crumble under the weight of this question, and... here I am.

As for my girlfriend, she's busy to say the least. And she's got some serious family issues going on as well, but I'm not going to get into that. I don't want to be selfish and pile my own issues on top of her already teetering mountain.

Right now, I'm still wondering what my best course of action should be. I plan on looking for a temporary job... but then what?

[Master Rel]

Air Force!

[TheHobbitofDune]

Not a good fit for me. lol. But thanks for caring.

[Master Rel]

Not a good fit for me. lol. But thanks for caring.

There are tons of cool jobs/careers in the Air Force...get paid, get direction, gain some stability, gain some more maturity, and get your future schooling paid for in full.

It will answer all of your noted issues above...just a 4-6yr stint, life changing for the better.



http://www.airforce.com/opportunities/enlisted/careers

[Waxman]

Teach English overseas in a foreign country like China, Japan, Korea, or Taiwan.

A lot of my friends did it including one my ex-girlfriends and they all told me they thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  Pay is enough to get by on but it's more for the experience and the adventure as well as the undeniable fact that it just looks really good on a resume.  Of course, you would have to be prepared to commit for 6 months up to a year.

Heck, even I'm considering it if I can't find a teaching job after I get my credential.

[TheHobbitofDune]

I've always wanted to move to Japan...

However, I've looked into that before, and it seems like a really competitive job. As in, everyone seems to want it since it's really the best way to go if you want a job overseas. Then again, my love for Japan would be enough to make me want to go for it anyway.

It's really encouraging as well that you said a lot of your friends did it.

Yeah, come to think of it, this is probably my best option... but it would also be a huge life decision as well.

Also, I'm starting to feel like this should be moved to the main off-topic board...

[Xaeyon]

Goku and I want to share a little positive energy with you, Hobbie

Don't fret over a career now. You're only 19. I'm 20 and had the same thing happen with my degree. I ended up getting it earlier this month but it was a huge struggle for a long time to finish something that I wasn't passionate about nor had any interest in pursuing as a career. I've taken some steps to look elsewhere but, like you, am basically getting up everyday to experience the passage of time while everything else is out of my hands (something my parents don't seem to understand).


Try keeping a wall of sticky notes of things you want to get done. I have one and it's being accomplished some items very slowly. It's just a little reminder about things that you could be doing, need to do, or want to do. Don't put big goals on there, just small ones like "walk around the block" or "read a page of [that book]"; small, accomplishable (five-fifteen minute) goals to stop feeling so overwhelmed about undertaking such a big task, and then you can work your way up from there. I've broken down some big projects into smaller steps that can be completed as slow as I wish: rather than "make that bag for your stuff", its "measure stuff", "buy material", "draw stencils", etc.  At this pace, I know where I'm up to and can do one thing every day or two to get me on the path to completing my goal.


Passion is a hard thing to find, but a positive outlook and a little direction can go a long way. Start with the last thing and work your way back to the first. I know I'm only on the second step. Naysayers be damned! I'll get stuff done... eventually... it's on my list.


(nah, this is a success story in the making, keep it here )

[Master Rel]

I've always wanted to move to Japan...

However, I've looked into that before, and it seems like a really competitive job. As in, everyone seems to want it since it's really the best way to go if you want a job overseas. Then again, my love for Japan would be enough to make me want to go for it anyway.

It's really encouraging as well that you said a lot of your friends did it.

Yeah, come to think of it, this is probably my best option... but it would also be a huge life decision as well.

Also, I'm starting to feel like this should be moved to the main off-topic board...

Hey just saying...there are Air Force duty stations all over the world, including Japan...paid to travel and learn a career...hmmm

[RLYHYPERGUY]

I've always wanted to move to Japan...

However, I've looked into that before, and it seems like a really competitive job. As in, everyone seems to want it since it's really the best way to go if you want a job overseas. Then again, my love for Japan would be enough to make me want to go for it anyway.

It's really encouraging as well that you said a lot of your friends did it.

Yeah, come to think of it, this is probably my best option... but it would also be a huge life decision as well.

Also, I'm starting to feel like this should be moved to the main off-topic board...

My sister's actually teaching English in the Czech Republic right now. She loves it.