Venting.

[Noctis]

You are so fortunate to have a boss that was actually willing to deal with that!  A lot of chains are so terrified of a lawsuit that they won't handle BS like that with the appropriate strictness.

Those people's unwillingness to parent should NOT be the rest of society's problem.  I mean, we wonder why the Millennials are so screwed up.  Their kids are certainly not going to be any better if this is the "in" style of child-rearing...

That's because I don't work for a chain.    I work for a family-owned business.  My boss is super cool, but he won't take ANY crap from customers.  I refuse to ever work for corporation again.  Nope, not for me.

I REALLY hate it when people don't discipline their children.  Now, there's nothing I love more than taking a child into the piano room and having them sit down and explore what it's like to play the piano or taking a bass off the shelf and playing it for them so they can see how it sounds.  But some parents just let their kids run amok and dammit, we're not babysitters.   My boss told me that people's bad kids have broken expensive things and yes, he's made them pay for it.  GOOD FOR HIM. 

When I worked at a convenience store 15 years ago (wow, has it really been that long?), we had this lady who would come in with her two kids, buy them each a 1 liter soda and a couple of candy bars, and proceed to hang out there for anywhere between half an hour to two hours with her sugared-up little heathens while she scratched lottery tickets.

Well, as you can imaging, hyperactive kids with sugar in them are bad enough, but it's even worse when Mommy doesn't even acknowledge they are there, let alone try to parent them. They were climbing on things, running past customers as only kids can do, and playing chase (CHASE!!!) in my store. Customers were complaining and since mama was ignoring it in the feeble hope of winning something in scratchoffs, I was trying to run interference and keep them in line. When they knocked over a display, I'd had enough. I reached my hand over the counter to where a deliberately oblivious Mama was quietly, contentedly scratching away, placed my admittedly large hand over her scratchoffs to get her attention, and very politely said:

"Ma'am, your children are running amok and have knocked over a display. Can I ask you to please calm them down so they don't hurt themselves or others or damage anything else?"

Her response sits with me to this very day... a testament to the power of human idiocy.

"Can't you see I'm busy? This is your store. YOU do something about it!"

She then slapped my hand away and went back to scratching.

Me: "Okay, I guess it's time for Mister Nice Guy to go away and Mister Asshole to come out to play."

Her: "If you lay a hand on my kids-"

Me (interrupting loudly in my military command voice): "GET YOUR KIDS AND GET THE HELL OUT! DO NOT COME BACK UNLESS YOU CAN PARENT THEM OR YOU CAN FIND A BABYSITTER!"

Her (wide eyed in shock): "You can't talk to me like-"

Me (interrupting even louder): "WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?! ARE YOU COMPLETELY HARD OF HEARING OR ARE YOU JUST WILLINGLY STUPID? LET ME REITERATE THIS FOR YOU. GATHER YOUR CROTCH SPAWN AND START POUNDING PAVEMENT!!!"

She left with the kids and I got some thanks and applause from the other customers.

I also got in trouble with the manager, but I didn't care. Neither did the manager, really, but her hands were tied as the woman had called and complained about my behavior on the tip line. After reviewing the tapes to see exactly what happened, I was only in trouble because I had to be for appearances sake.

I would have applauded you for that!

[Duff Man]

That's because I don't work for a chain.    I work for a family-owned business.  My boss is super cool, but he won't take ANY crap from customers.  I refuse to ever work for corporation again.  Nope, not for me.

I REALLY hate it when people don't discipline their children.  Now, there's nothing I love more than taking a child into the piano room and having them sit down and explore what it's like to play the piano or taking a bass off the shelf and playing it for them so they can see how it sounds.  But some parents just let their kids run amok and dammit, we're not babysitters.   My boss told me that people's bad kids have broken expensive things and yes, he's made them pay for it.  GOOD FOR HIM. 

I would have applauded you for that!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF_nfazQaek" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF_nfazQaek</a>

[Majobu5]

My pet peeve, and this is to no one in this room, but someone advising others how to raise/discipline kids when they don't have any.
I was like that, ya know, like get a hold of your kids! How ignorant can you be! But being a parent, at times, is a B. It sometimes doesn't take much to get the wheels to come off. I've been in the store, kids are totally getting along, and one will grab something, other one tells him to put it back, tempers flare, something breaks. All everyone sees is the mêlée. It's embarrassing! Like I want to be the center of attention?? But I consider myself a conscious parent, and can critique other parents for their lack of concern when i see it.

[Jev Moldara]

My pet peeve, and this is to no one in this room, but someone advising others how to raise/discipline kids when they don't have any.
I was like that, ya know, like get a hold of your kids! How ignorant can you be! But being a parent, at times, is a B. It sometimes doesn't take much to get the wheels to come off. I've been in the store, kids are totally getting along, and one will grab something, other one tells him to put it back, tempers flare, something breaks. All everyone sees is the mêlée. It's embarrassing! Like I want to be the center of attention?? But I consider myself a conscious parent, and can critique other parents for their lack of concern when i see it.

I've no problem with a parent who immediately jumps in to stop a fracas. Good on you for that. Where I have a problem is with those parents who ignore when their kids are being little shills or (and this is a bigger pet peeve) send them off to the toy department unsupervised so the store and the toy department staff can babysit them.

[Majobu5]

I've no problem with a parent who immediately jumps in to stop a fracas. Good on you for that. Where I have a problem is with those parents who ignore when their kids are being little shills or (and this is a bigger pet peeve) send them off to the toy department unsupervised so the store and the toy department staff can babysit them.

With the people around here, you here the parent calling out for the kid, and the kid on the other side of the store screaming EH??? Like flipping parrots going back and forth. I tell my wife, At what point do you as a parent get a flipping clue and go get that child?? I'm Mexican, but some of these Mexican families make me irate!

[Darth Logos]

I've no problem with a parent who immediately jumps in to stop a fracas. Good on you for that. Where I have a problem is with those parents who ignore when their kids are being little shills or (and this is a bigger pet peeve) send them off to the toy department unsupervised so the store and the toy department staff can babysit them.

Bad parents are like bad dog owners. The charge is only as good as its discipline. If you let them run off instinct, of course they're going to be obnoxious little shells. I always love the looks I get when I'm out in public, and some kid is acting up or pitching a fit, and all I have to do is make eye contact and give a gentle shake of the head "no" and the child stops. Of course it does help that to a child, I'm a damn giant that will inevitably grind them to a pulp, but....

Hey parents, if a perfect stranger can effect this kind of reaction from kids, this should be a non-issue.

With the people around here, you here the parent calling out for the kid, and the kid on the other side of the store screaming EH??? Like flipping parrots going back and forth. I tell my wife, At what point do you as a parent get a flipping clue and go get that child?? I'm Mexican, but some of these Mexican families make me irate!

I don't think it has anything to do with ethnicity. It's just become the overall attitude of America that "I shouldn't have to do anything more than I want to do, but I expect everything to carry on as if I did." Offspring wrote a great song about nurtured habits called "Way Down the Line"


Nothin' changes, cuz it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens to hit
Way down the line

There is a chain that's never broken
You know the story, it's sad but true
An angry man gets drunk and beats his kids
The same old way his drunken father did
What comes around well it goes around

Nothin' changes, cuz it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens to hit
Way down the line

17 Shannon is pregnant
Young as her mom when she had her
The kid is never gonna have a dad
The same old way that Shannon never had
What comes around well it goes around

Nothin' changes, cuz it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens to hit
Way down the line
And all those things you want when you're a kid
You'll f@#$ up just like your parents did
It all just happens to hit way down the line

And welfare moms have kids on welfare
And fat parents they have fat kids too
You know it's never gonna end
The same old cycle's gonna start again
What comes around well it goes around

Nothin' changes, cuz it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens to hit
Way down the line
And all those things you want when you're a kid
You'll f@#$ up just like your parents did
It all just happens to hit way down the line


The problem stems from a lack of realization that this behavior is the problem. Kinda like how white-trash parents end up teaching their kids how to be white-trash.

[Landen Se-Sentien]

We have a rule in my house:

Obey and live!

In all seriousness, though, my mother was over a few weeks ago, and I told my 4 year old to do something, he didn't, so I sent him to timeout for a couple minutes (it's very effective with him). My mom asked why, and I told her it was because he didn't do it the first time I told him. She thought it was kind of harsh. I told her to just watch.

Several minutes after he was out of TO, he had stopped playing with some of his toys, and I told him to put them away as he got out new ones. He did it right away. We told him to help clear the table. Again, first time. We told him to get ready for bed. First time. Each time, my mom just looked at me dumbfounded (and she was a good mom, and i was a good kid, but I didn't honor her that way), and I would just give her a little wink. No fits. No screaming. No arguing. This is also why his teachers all ask me to give other kids' parents lessons.

It's really not rocket science. Teach them what you expect, figure out what their currency is, and use it as leverage for consequences. And if there are 2 parents, stay united. The consistency is the hardest part, because you can't let up, and I think parents either don't know (trust me, I've had a lot of conferences with truly clueless parents), or they've just given up, and now the kids win. Every time.

[Darth Logos]

We have a rule in my house:

Obey and live!

In all seriousness, though, my mother was over a few weeks ago, and I told my 4 year old to do something, he didn't, so I sent him to timeout for a couple minutes (it's very effective with him). My mom asked why, and I told her it was because he didn't do it the first time I told him. She thought it was kind of harsh. I told her to just watch.

Several minutes after he was out of TO, he had stopped playing with some of his toys, and I told him to put them away as he got out new ones. He did it right away. We told him to help clear the table. Again, first time. We told him to get ready for bed. First time. Each time, my mom just looked at me dumbfounded (and she was a good mom, and i was a good kid, but I didn't honor her that way), and I would just give her a little wink. No fits. No screaming. No arguing. This is also why his teachers all ask me to give other kids' parents lessons.

It's really not rocket science. Teach them what you expect, figure out what their currency is, and use it as leverage for consequences. And if there are 2 parents, stay united. The consistency is the hardest part, because you can't let up, and I think parents either don't know (trust me, I've had a lot of conferences with truly clueless parents), or they've just given up, and now the kids win. Every time.

And now the kids are society's problem

[Landen Se-Sentien]

And now the kids are society's problem

And where I work, those parents end up parenting their grandkids, because they didn't provide an effective model, and now their kids are lost when it comes to parenting.

Sad.

[Duff Man]

well there old saying of "it takes a village" is there for a reason.

[Darth Justicar]

Except too often it's interpreted as "DITCH your kids on the village."

[Darth Logos]

And where I work, those parents end up parenting their grandkids, because they didn't provide an effective model, and now their kids are lost when it comes to parenting.

Sad.

My step brothers' kids. My sister and I have none, and I think my dad and stepmom wish it were the other way around. Erin and I turned out disciplined.......ish. The only reason why my eldest step-bro's kids are the least terroistic is because their mother won't put up with it. But they still lack due to the inconsistency provided by their dad.

well there old saying of "it takes a village" is there for a reason.

Have the laws changed over night. Last I remember Americans were responsible for teaching and taking care of everyone else's kids, but weren't allowed to discipline them.

[Landen Se-Sentien]

Except too often it's interpreted as "DITCH your kids on the village."

Yes! It's one thing to have the extended family and community help out. I'm all for that. It's another thing to abandon your responsibilities.

No joke...

I once had some grandparents bring their grandchildren to school every day for a few months. After a couple weeks, I asked if everything was ok with their daughter (the kids' mother). They explained to me how they were babysitting them one night while the mom went to the fair. They got a call later that night saying she was running off with one of the carnies, and they'd have to watch them until the the ride he operated came back close enough for her to get a ride back home.  

[Noctis]

Also not directed at anyone here.  Just a thought!

I don't have kids (and never intend to have any), but I'll tell you what.  If someone's child is pulling on my clothing, hitting me, or otherwise invading my personal space in a way I don't like?  I'm going to say something about it and it's not going to be nice.  I don't have any patience for that crap.  I know too many parents who have managed to raise respectful, polite children to believe that this is just "how kids are."  I never went up to strangers and started invading their space like that and I was most certainly not a shy, quiet child.  

Now, I roughhouse with my friends' kids all the time (within reason), but when I say that's enough?  They stop.  Immediately.   Why?  Because Mom and Dad taught them about it.  

I don't think saying to a parent, "Hey, tell your kid to quit bothering me" is telling a parent how to parent.  I say that to adults, too.    

[Duff Man]

My step brothers' kids. My sister and I have none, and I think my dad and stepmom wish it were the other way around. Erin and I turned out disciplined.......ish. The only reason why my eldest step-bro's kids are the least terroistic is because their mother won't put up with it. But they still lack due to the inconsistency provided by their dad.

Have the laws changed over night. Last I remember Americans were responsible for teaching and taking care of everyone else's kids, but weren't allowed to discipline them.

Well actually no, there is a difference between Discipline and Abuse, you are aloud to discipline other peoples kids. Teachers and guardians to do all the time and it is perfectly legal it is called "in loco parentis" or in place of the parents.  They are in fact legally obligated to do so. Abuse is something completely different and is not legal for anyone. Spanking is considered discipline and not abuse. For it to be legally abuse it has to be sever( sever bruising, broken skin, bleeding broken bones). this also means you can't be old school and use stuff like belts or rulers to spank your kids because that falls under abuse.